[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 02/23/2004 by guyPaulo
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After being tempted by a pair of vegetarian hotties, I was drawn into the far left world of radical resistance.

I voiced my political opinion in the form of a giant, paper-mache figure of Dubyah, which dropped down from the ceiling during a Democratic Debate. The crowd loved it, but sadly, it crushed Dennis Kusinich and I was forced to go into hidding.

I did find love though. Not a slave to sexist fashion, my girlfriend has a more "traditional" approach to bodily decoration.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 27 comments for this caption.

<3Suns> Poor Dennis... what a way to go!
<Lauren> Except for the fact that my favorite candidate got killed, this one tickled me.
<guyPaulo> Mort: Ammend "Dennis Kusinich" to read "John Edwards."

I like Kusinich too Lauren, but I'm still voting for Sharpton!!!

<Lauren> Kucinich. And he doesn't stand a snowball's chance.
<guyPaulo> See? I can't even spell his name! How am I supposed to vote for someone with a name like that?!?

Actually, I took some online quiz to find out which candidate best represents me, and it told me that Dennis was the closest match to me. But I just like the good Reverend ;)

<Lauren> Was this the quiz you took?


Kucinich was fourth on my list, with non-existant special interest group potential candidates filling the first three positions (i.e., The Green Party). Sharpton was fifth.

<guyPaulo> No, but that quiz ranks my top match as a tie between The Green Party (R. Nader) and the Rev. Sharpton. Given my dislike of Nader, I'll be sticking with Sharpton.

After Nader/Sharpton, 2nd place was a tie between Kucinich and a Socialist candidate! My comrades will crush the capitalist dogs as the revolution bleeds in the streets!

<Mort> 1st place Green
2nd place Socialist
3rd place Clark
Last place Bush with 11% compatibility...
<ajiav> be nice to ralph nader.
<Mort> Well Nader is not under the green party ticket, he's independant this time.
<guyPaulo> He might as well be a Republican.....
<ajiav> is this coming from the "he splits the dem vote therefore helping bush" perspective?
<ajiav> because if nader is really going to have that strong of an effect (and I don't think he is), the dems should just absorb more of his platform and rhetoric, rendering nader's campaign ineffectual and making dems look sympathetic to the left. instead the tendency has been to attack nader, encouraging supporters to split tracks.
<guyPaulo> I just vote for the candidate with the best hair.

Al Sharpton has REALLY good hair.

John Edwards has good hair too, but do you really want to vote for someone who talks to dead people?

<mypalmike> I'm voting based on the important critera of "fewest letters in name". John Kerry is my first choice. George Bush, Ralph Nader, and Al Sharpton are all tied for second place, so if Kerry dropped out, Al would get my vote based on alphabetical order. That Dennis guy has lots of letters to get rid of before I'd consider voting for him. By the way, I voted for Al Gore in 2000.
<Mort> Arnie in 2008!! Whoop!!!
<guyPaulo> I tried to re-arrange the letters of the candidates' names and got the following:

Al Gore: Go Real! - Or a Leg? - Rag ole!

Al Sharpton: Part lash on

George Bush: Go Grub Sohee - Gore begs H - Gusher Gabe - G.E. Shrub Ego

<Plechazunga> "Wee Borg Gush" say Plechazunga!
<Mort> Ralph Nader: Plan Harder - Darn Her Lap
John Edwards: Jews Add Horn - Drowns Jehad - was redd John
<ajiav> that's awesome.
<guyPaulo> Dennis Kucinich: CHICK NUDIE INNS - INDUCE HICK INNS



<3Suns> John Kerry Horny Jerk
<3Suns> er, there was supposed to be some sort of arrow thing there, but the HTML ate it.
<mypalmike> Richard Gephardt = Cheddar Trigraph
<Mikazunga> Joe Lieberman = Major Beeline
<Mikazunga> Walter Mondale = Lemonade Trawl
<mypalmike> Most emailed = Dismal Emote

OK, I'm done.

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