[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 01/08/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

When I was younger I dreamt of looking after poor orphaned animals.

Teaching anti-social fish about the liberating effects of alcohol.

But instead I ran an unpaid caption website, and was slowly sucked dry.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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Board [Post Message]

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, I Love You All!

There are 41 messages for this day.
<MLimburg> hehehe love it ..
<Lauren> Oh, Mort... this one is beautiful. (but do we really suck you dry?)
<guyPaulo> Hah! Good one Mort. Maybe you should add a bunch of annoying sex site banners and popups to your main page. "This caption brought to you by 'NakedGrannies.com'"
<yoyology> I'm torn between making a lewd remark about Lauren sucking Mort dry, and retching at the thought of NakedGrannies.com.
<guyPaulo> If anyone wants the password to "NakedGrannies.com" I can hook you up with a free 3-day trial. Its one of the perks of my platinum membership.
<yoyology> Dear God, it's a real URL. Takes you to the "Napster of Porn".

The world really is going to hell, ya know?
<Mort> Sex site banners come next week, but I don't think 12 hits a day will bring in much revenue.
<guyPaulo> Uh, just so you know, I was kidding about the platimum membership thing. I had no idea it was a real URL and I'm at work so I wasn't about to check. The boss gets mad if we check out geizer porn on the clock.
<yoyology> Riiiiiight.
<David Byrden> 'geezer' derives from the word 'disguiser' (yes, they really did pronounce it that way).
In merrie old England, troupes of aging actors would wander the country putting on plays in each town - 'disguisers'.
<yoyology> And the Pedant Of The Day award goes to....
<Mort> Well there is the kettle calling the pot black.
<yoyology> :-)
<krystel> hi
<Carol> What a great bunch of captions today! In my opinion. I never know if my opinion should count, since I'm not a caption writer, just a groupie.
<MLimburg> Caption Groupie ... Well, now we've hit the big time.
<David Byrden> Wow, we have groupies now... can we date them? How would that work?
"Try to have a single, continuous date with a sequence of three random groupies"
<Carol> Did I say "groupie"? I meant "grouper," a usually solitary bottom sea bass of warm seas.
<yoyology> As in: "The stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the bass player..."
<yoyology> Uh, sorry. Paste went awry there. This is the link I was shooting for:
<Carol> At the library, you can find yoyo manning the Pop Culture Reference desk.
<guyPaulo> N.O.I.P. is really being a wanker today. Its very reminiscent of the time Rodger Mexico went off and insulted a bunch of folks in one day. Hhmmmmm.....
<No one in particular.> N.O.I.P has been getting nothing but insults the past couple of weeks. It's obvious you guys dont like it when a big fish comes to swim in your little pond.
<Anonymous> It's like getting initiated in high school....or hazing in college...
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