[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 02/15/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Ms. Patches was an intelligent, quirky cat, what you would call a thinking man's kitten.

But love is a strange strange bird,

and her man wasn't good at thinking at all.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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Board [Post Message]

Two little birds sitting in a tree,
K      I      S      S      I      N      G,
First came love, then came marriage,
then came painful hemorrhoids and death.

I hope you all had the most wonderous of Valentines Days. If you are single I hope you cried into your cold tomato soup, I hope you peered at happy couples and threw stones at doves.

For me, personally I enjoyed it whilst at the same time avoided giving the evil empire of Hallmark™ any money at all.

While in this joyful mood let me list a few of my favourite things.
  • Walking on the greenest of grasses, especially walking on grass that has a sign saying "do not walk on grass".
  • Ignoring people that are telling me to keep off the grass.
  • Using my sad puppy dog face for evil.
  • Patagonia. (the country)
  • Knowing that my soulmate is out there.
  • The letter 'P'. (It has curves but it's still straight)
  • Stockings. (but not on me)
  • The comforting feeling of being outside as night is drawing in.
  • The ridiculousness of things.
  • OMG Dark Chocolate
  • Dreams

So what are a few of your favourite things?

There are 61 messages for this day.
<MLimburg> Eating a really nice pie. Yeah, it's a little Twin Peaks for most, but DAMN .. good pie is fantastic.
<MLimburg> And I can't forget Lemon Gelati
<Axolotl> Hey Mort! What up with leaving Orkut?
<JulieK> My favourite things include: silly, a boy, MILK chocolate, art that is done by other people but not me because I am bad, MEP, the smell of oil paints, my fish, and indoors! Hurray Mort!
<JulieK> Also mort did you paint that one? Because it is awesome.
<3Suns> Lukewarm tomato soup, peering at doves, and throwing stones at happy couples.
<guyPaulo> Did MEP get linked from some other popular site again?
<obtuse> There's themes with every caption/name. It's one person, I think.
<JulieK> Damn hooligans!
<3Suns> Naw, NOIP was funnier, once he got the picture.
<guyPaulo> We need an "Alter-Ego Day," where all the regular monkies post captions anonymously, then we try to figure out who's who.
<Mort> I did not leave Orkut, they seem to have deleted me.
<Pedro Gonzales> guy, if I were looking for your alter ego I would just look for the most sex-filled, lewd, gross (and usually funniest) caption. :-)
<3Suns> Good idea Guy. I think we need more theme days in general. Like when we had meta day. Alter-Ego day, gross-out day, poetry day, movie quote day, obscure reference day...
<ajiav> orkut seems to have kicked me out as well.
<ajiav> orkut seems to have kicked me out as well.
<ajiav> *oops!*
<Mort> For spamming?
<Carol> JulieK, I dispute the part about you being "bad at art." (Although I guess I can't argue if you say your own is not your "favorite.")
<ajiav> spamming, hah. what kind of a character do you take me for? i wrote messages in the forum thingy, but that's hardly spamming.
<guyPaulo> Well Mort? What about Friday as a rotating theme day? Just let us know in your daily rant what the theme is, and the regular monkies will riff on it. Also, we promise not to get pithy if newbies don't follow the theme.

BTW: thanks for the nod, Pedro! Alter-ego day may not be that hard to figure out, but it would be fun....

<Mort> JulieK's art is amazing, full stop, period, end of story.

ajiav - Well you were kinda spamming my board.

I was thinking Thursday for theme day, Friday wraps around the weekend.

<apple juice is a verb> ???
Mort, please explain to me in more specific terms what you define as "spamming." I contributed a message or two to the little discussions people were making, and I wrote a testimonial for one or two people. Standard orkut activity, I thought.
<apple juice is a verb> >:(
<3Suns> ajiv, it was a joke about the double-post. If Mort really cared he'd just delete it.
<ajiav> sorry...on edge today. i am moody.
<ajiav> *bows to the ground in humble japanese posture, face slightly red*
<Mort> :) Sorry Ajaiv I was just teasing you for the double-post. Stop being moody, or I'll start ranting about dead ponies and tearing the skin off potatoes.
You don't want that!
<ajiav> I will calm down. Please don't eat potatoes.
<Jellyloo> mmmmm. Potatoes. Ponies.
<Mort> But not both at the same time, that would be dangerous.
<Jellyloo> Dead potatoes and...peeling...the skin off.....ponies? Don't give away your writing theme for tomorrow!
<Mort> Ack! Now I will have to think up something new. What do you suggest I write about?
<Axolotl> I see a common theme for out latest multiple poster: Robert Crumb.

And don't feed the trolls.

<Lauren> ajiav and mort, have you tried e-mailing the orkut help desk? It worked for me. They restored me completely and I didn't even have to rewrite any part of my profile.
<Mort> I emailed them, got a nice automatic response, still waiting...
<Jellyloo> Favorite Thing (#21): Sleep
<Mort> Dreams come after sleep.
I dreamt about MEP last night, how all of your finally began telling me the truth about how my captions suck.
Then I had another dream that I was on some weird Japanese game show, I don't remember much about it, cept it involved tennis.
<jordie3> Gorey, that's another guy you remind me of.

Only he drew pictures.

<Mort> Someone else told me that Jordie, when I showed them this.


<guyPaulo> Don't worry Mort. As long as you still decide the winner for the Wednesday caption contest, no one will actually come out and tell you how much your captions suck.
<Lauren> guy, I am sure you didn't mean that the way it sounds....
<guyPaulo> .....I just screwed myself for the next 12 Wednesdays, didn't I?
<Lauren> Guy, if you could screw yourself all along, why have you been flirting with me?
<ElvisThePelvis> Guys are always looking for a little something new...
<guyPaulo> ...(red faced)....
<guyPaulo> I just like exchanging quips with Lauren because of that haiku-duel we had a few months ago.
<3Suns> Where's yoyo gotten to? I accidentally unjoined the orkut community, and I need him to let me back in!
<Lauren> It's presidents' day.... yoyo might be off on holiday.

And guy, Our haiku phase ... was a very special time ... we'll always have that

<PresidentBush> It's President's Day for goodness sake! Why aren't you all relaxing? It's back to work tomorrow!
<AnnaNicoleSmith> Hello...um...I'm baaaaaaccccccckkkkkk
<guyPaulo> Haikus brought us close.
But our first love were captions,
which are teh sexy.
<AnnaNicoleSmith> hi mr president!
<AnnaNicoleSmith> hi Lauren, do u remeber me?
<AnnaNicoleSmith> hello....is anyone here?
<AnnaNicoleSmith> if u are going to be mean i will leave
<ssiegel> chihuahuas are my favorite thing.

chihuahuas in booties are just like icing. . .

<bilal> dear send the sexy pic
<Alex> Hi Anna??
<goodes> hi anna

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