My first girlfriend, Tracy, was nice and kinda pretty but I had to dump her. She was always getting teased at school about the weird baby-arm that grew out of her back, and my rep was getting hurt. |
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Next, I dated the Bislobowski twins, but I had to break up with them too. All they wanted to do was have hot, 3-way sex all the time, and I was really focused on trying to beat Mike Tyson's Punchout before anyone else in my class. You have to set your priorities in life. |
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Rather than go through the dating drama again, I just go to my local whorehouse whenever I feel like "diving for the fuzzy clam." |
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