[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 02/03/2004 by 3Suns
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I don't have the money to spend on $10,000 kitsch paperweights.

I don't have the looks to attract throngs of nubile, scantily-clad admirers.

But I do have this cool nipple jewelry! See just like Janet! See, look, just like...

Hey, come back!
(Fashion Wire Daily)


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Board [Post Message]

This week's celebrity nipple ring is:


The itchy Prince Alberts are: Carol, Lauren and Pedro Gonzales.

There are 64 messages for this day.
<guyPaulo> Lauren! How was Florida and the folks?
<Lauren> A good time was had by all. My parents were on their absolute best behavior. I have finally figured out that bringing a stranger to meet them pretty much assures that they will be fairly nice to me for the entire visit.
<guyPaulo> I used to live in beautiful Panama City Florida. I'd like to move back at some point. Did your "S.O." happen to perish in a horrible dolphin attack while snorkling? I'm just asking....its not as if I had a secret plan or anything.....
<3Suns> Spanish omelette? Slender ombudsman? Slave otters? Statutory offense? Strange odor? Spooky ostuary? Spectacular oversight?

What is this "S.O." of which you speak?

<Lauren> Significant Other
<guyPaulo> (Sigh) I guess I'll recover from this tragedy. Best wishes for you and your snuggle-monkie, Lauren!
<Mort> Such a shame! I was expecting to be invited to the first Monkie wedding in mere months.
<3Suns> It's too quiet around here, especially for a Wednesday. What gives?
<JulieK> There is never a quiet day at Most Emailed because mort is always singing a jaunty tune. You can only hear him if you have pet a unicorn.
<mypalmike> I've hear guyPaulo is known for "petting the unicorn"...
<apple juice is a verb> platinum-diamond hello, kitty looks like that robot in logan's run that tried to freeze michael york and jenny agutter.
<Lauren> Mort, how do you know my S.O. isn't guy?
<Mort> I ain't even sure that your S.O. is a guy.
<Lauren> Hey, Mort.... *I* could be a guy, for all you know.
<Mort> A guy for guy.
<guyPaulo> Love doesn't have a gender, Mort! Lauren and I are running off to Massachusetts to get hitched. I'll be wearing white.
<3Suns> Congrats Guy and "Lauren". Stop by while you're in the neighborhood.
<Lauren> We'll be staying at my sister's farm in Millis. Are you near there, 3Suns?
<3Suns> Millis? No kidding, I'm from Medway, the next town over. Our HS football team beat yours this Thanksgiving for the first time in recent memory.
<Lauren> My sister just moved there from Milton. She bought a horse farm.
<Mort> My uncle lives in Melrose. What is it with MA and M-word cities?
<Lauren> My sister lived in Medford before she moved to Milton.
<3Suns> My female friend lived with her parents in Methuen when she wasn't visiting her sister in Mansfield.
<yoyology> I've never been to Massachusetts in my life.
I've also barely been to mostemailed today. I'm not boycotting or anything. I just haven't had the time. Let's see if I can come up with something for these three....
<3Suns> And I used to drive through Milford to get to work in Marlborough
<ajiav> Missouri.
<ajiav> now I have referred to an M-place, too.
<ajiav> but not one in MA.
<guyPaulo> Yoyo's boycotting MEP today in protest of the Chinese persecution of Tibet.
<Lauren> Geography is not your strong suit is it ajiav? The M places have to be in Massachusetts to count in this game.
<3Suns> There are more S-towns and W-towns though... ...www.state.ma.us...
<Lauren> I thought yoyo was protesting the apparent democratic choice of a candidate for the presidency....
<ajiav> check my 3rd comment, lauren. paying attention isn't your strong suit, is it? boo-ya.
<ajiav> (this is a friendly jab, by the way)
<guyPaulo> Screw the other Dems, I'm voting for Sharpton this year.
<yoyology> I've lived in Missouri and Minnesota. Right now, I pretty much live on mostemailed and memepool.
<ajiav> Dems will unite and vote for whoever isn't bush.
<3Suns> Cthulu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
<Lauren> mine was friendly, too, ajiav. But I guessed I applejuiced it in the delivery. Sorry.
<guyPaulo> Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
<ajiav> i'm sitting here listening to malcolm x in my speakers, so my attitude is getting riled...sorry
<guyPaulo> "Malcolm X in your speakers?" Well you'd better let him out! AHAHAH! Because he's dead and all......ok sorry....
<yoyology> guy has Prince Albert in his can.
<guyPaulo> God, I'm in a ridiculous mood.
<yoyology> Having a prince in your can will do that to you.

Or so I hear.
<Lauren> teeheehee
<Mort> I will invite you all to come live with me in Mostemailedopia, which is also in MA.
<Lauren> mort, can I bring my dog?
<David Byrden> I refuse to participate on the grounds that I cannot think of anything.
<Lauren> David, we missed you today
<Mort> Of course, everyone can bring their dogs.
<Lauren> Wow, it's 7:50 p.m. and there are 25 Mr. Nonames here. Where did you all come from?
<guyPaulo> Can I bring my pet tarantula?
<Lauren> Only if it dances...
<guyPaulo> Looks like the captioning has stopped. We're all waiting in anticipation of Mort's announcement of the winner....
<Lauren> Great going, 3Suns. I really liked your captions today.

And congrats on the HM, Carol and both Pedros.

<Carol> Hey, cool! I would like to congratulate all the regular caption monkies who are so funny on a consistent basis. And in particular Lauren, since she neglected to congratulate herself.
<Carol> I don't know about "being" a Prince Albert, though; that would be kind of a bad pain, I would think, for someone thus equipped.
<Mort> Carol you totally deserved being HM'd today.
<3Suns> Thanks all. Great caption day across the board.

Oh, and I think I've discovered the secret to winning guest wednesday. We'll see next week. **ominous laugh**

<Lauren> I didn't think Mort had any secrets...
<Margret> Great captions today!
<mypalmike> Hey, I grew up in MA. Lived in Mamherst, Morthampton, Moston, Momerville, and Mingham.
<Mort> I lived in Mallston and the Mack bay.

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