[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 01/27/2004 by obtuse
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Real Life RPG
You have defeated GIANT CRAB! Level up! Charisma +1

A LINGERIE MODEL enters the room. [A]ttack/[W]oo/[F]lee?

You successfully woo the LINGERIE MODEL!
Swoon Feat +1


You invite the LINGERIE MODEL back for COFFEE OF FALSE PRETENSE! Smooth +1

Interrupt! LINGERIE MODEL flees when she sees your steed: CURSED GEO METRO

A DUCK FAMILY has entered the zone. [S]ulk/[C]hase/[Q]uack


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

Current Users

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Board [Post Message]

This week's fattest duck is:


The brussel sprouts in the side dish are: Samaj, ElvisThePelvis and yoyology/mypalmike

There are 69 messages for this day.
<obtuse> Interesting that 'tomorrow' happens at EST, but the winners at PST.
<Mort> The images are picked in GMT.
<obtuse> ...


<guyPaulo> How awsome is that picture of Courtney Love on yahoo today?
<3Suns> Not very awesome, if you're Courtney Love.
<guyPaulo> Come on guys, don't be cheap! Write some comments! I know we all want to win, but the site is a lot better when there's long discussions on several captions.
<Mort> Also it makes my job easier. Which is always something I heartily recommend.
<Jellyloo> Here here!
<Mort> And thus the commentation multiplied.
<Jellyloo> as you wish
<Mort> Jellyloo, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
<Jellyloo> Yes sir. Right away. Sir.
<guyPaulo> Lord, look at the size of Mort's log (giggling like a schoolgirl)!
<yoyology> I'm more interested in exactly what "polishing my horse's saddle" means.
<Mort> My word this site is breading filthy minds, it's a line from Princess Bride.

Of course my horse's saddle does need a good polish...

<Jellyloo> My mind is bred from a solid line of filth. Do you want your tack arranged and bits polished as well?
<Mort> I'd like the pommel waxed, the seat rubbed down and be careful of the girth straps this time. I'll make sure the surcingle loop carefully cleaned out myself.
<yoyology> Once your mind starts working that way, any "verb article noun" structure starts sounding like a double entendre.

I've started actively looking for them now, partly because it's fun, but also because they're getting overused in the captions, and I'm hoping to turn people off of them.
<mountaineer> There are too many. I give up.
<guyPaulo> I know you have a real life somewhere Mort, but a hit counter for each caption would be cool. If that's too much work, how about a counter on the main page that lists how many total comments have been posted?
<yoyology> I'm still waiting for that direct mostemailed-yoyology'sbrain interface. When's that coming?
<Mort> mountaineer: Don't give up. Follow the new mission plans, you'll be home in time for Christmas.
guy: I have thought about the view counter before, not too hard to do. The total comments is easy, but I need to work out where it fits into the UI.
yoyo: Cut a length of power cord, expose the wires inside, put the black on in your left ear, the red one in your right and make sure to stick the ground wire under your tongue. Then plug in for your direct interface to mostemailed.
<Lauren> yoyo, we expect to see a photo of you right before you connect up.
<guyPaulo> As long as Mort is feeling generous, I want to ask for a counter listing the TOTAL number of captions on the entire site, plus TOTAL number of comments as well. It would be cool to watch it grow into the thousands.
<Mort> Oh it is way past the thousands.
Days - 192
Alt captions - 2168
Total captions - 2360
Board messages - 1058
Comments - 3513
<Lauren> Okay, mort, so now post the figures for who comes here the most in one day....
<apple juice is a verb> The Lurker, of course...AKA me.
<yoyology> *raises hand*

<Mort> It's closer than you think Yoyo. Reading through the captions to pick a winner now.
<Lauren> yoyo, we may be tied for first place. That will all change once I guilt the interviewers into giving me the job during my rescheduled interview NEXT Thursday....
<mountaineer> Christmas is too far away. May the best goose win.
<Mort> A fat goose will never win around Christmas time.
<mountaineer> A fat goose is sure to be a 'winner' in some circles.
<yoyology> Oh, man. James Brown got arrested AGAIN?
<yoyology> FREE JAMES BROWN!

(limit two per customer)
<guyPaulo> I like the fact that while JB is 70, his wife is 33. That's pretty cool no matter how you slice it.
<Lauren> Yoyo, do you advocate freedom for perpetrators of domestic violence? I can see we need to have a talk, young man.
<yoyology> No. I advocate public castration for perpetrators of domestic violence. However, I also advocate for freedom of expression when MAKING A BLOODY JOKE.
<Lauren> Me TOO!
<yoyology> I wuv U, Lauren. :-)
<Lauren> ditto, yoyo.

And kudos to you for the HM today.

<This could be my name> Danke.
<yoyology> Oops. I've been revealed!
<Mort> Oh! You rogue! You had us all fooled!
<Lauren> Yeah, yoyo, we would have had no idea...
<yoyology> I'm not sure how I like being called a Brussels sprout. I personally like them, but many people don't.
<yoyology> Oh, and in a belated response to Mort's brain interface comment:
<Lauren> I love brussels sprouts... once you make sure there aren't any worms lurking about in their tiny little heads. They are a great vehicle for melted butter.
<guyPaulo> Yuck.....man was not meant to eat leafy green vegetables.
<yoyology> As I've learned this week, man was not meant to have a bad cholesterol of 203. Greens good. Animal fats bad.
<guyPaulo> The best diet is one of 100% fruit. I go through about 20 plantains a day. The only downside is the constant explosive diahrrea.
<yoyology> I got a piece of 100% fruit for you to try, guy. Check out my plantain.
<yoyology> I have got to get away from this place.
<ElvisThePelvis> We are rubbing off on you...in more ways than one.
<ElvisThePelvis> WTG Obtuse....
<ElvisThePelvis> I tried an all fruit diet once. Dear GOD was I cleansed from the experience. I felt all shiny and new inside.
<yoyology> Okay. Today's way cool website:
<Lauren> Groan... someone has way too much free time... YOYO.
<yoyology> I heard about it on a library mailing list, believe it or not.
<yoyology> Hey, it's just you and me, Lauren!

What are you wearing?

<obtuse> Thanks again. I'd like to give a shoutout to the Conversatron. I think the regulars here would appreciate their humor as well.


<3Suns> The Conversatron is only a pale shadowy imitation of the glory that was Forum2(3)000, rest it's soul.
<guyPaulo> It has been a very sexy day I think. Lots of monkie horomes flying around today.
<guyPaulo> There are 279 comments as of 10:19PM, Central time, which is very impressive.
<3Suns> although admittedly it's improved in recent years.
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