[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 01/27/2004 by ElvisThePelvis
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How to please a Man? Show up naked, bring beer, don't have crabs.

How to please a woman? Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the superbowl for her, buy her jewelery, pretend you're interested in what she has to say.

How to please a duck? First make sure you grease up your dick...


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 20 comments for this caption.

<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<guyPaulo> There's some Adam Sandler song that goes: "Pretty Birdie in the Sky; if an egg can fit in there, why can't I"....
<apple juice is a verb> wow~!
<3Suns> It should be noted that the second caption's instructions shouldn't necessarily be followed in that order. In my experience, women don't necessarily like eating dinner with corpses.
<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hey look. I can double post.
<Lauren> LOVE it!!!
<Lauren> and your double posting is quite impressive as well.... I don't think I've ever seen one separated by so many comments.
<yoyology> Just for the record, I hate the f*ck*n SuperBowl. In college, a bunch of us got together and planned an Anti-SuperBowl party. One of the best guys in the dorm went home that week and was killed by his father, who then shot himself. The party became a wake, and now every year I remember James (aka Panama) on SuperBowl Sunday.
<ElvisThePelvis> uhhh....way to bum out my comment list. I hate sports in general. I wish teachers would be paid mega salaries...or librarians :)
<Mort> If you use duck fat to grease... then it gets even more sick and twisted.
<guyPaulo> Yeah, sports suck. Oddly enough, I enjoy bull-riding quite a bit. In that sport the bull is actually scored in the same manner as the human athletes.
<Roger Mexico> This must be geek heaven after all . . people who don't like sports & jocks! Actually, I've learned to be open minded - dwarf tossing is really OK, and Russian roulette has . . uh, it's 'moments.'
<This could be my name> I'm a big fan of Russian roulette as long as all the contestants are Republicans.
<Lauren> Roger, great comment.

Elvis, congrats on your HM.

<mypalmike> So, are there any sports fans here? I'm certainly not.

By the way, nasty caption. Funny, but nasty.

<Lauren> Not a sports fan, but I do like to watch the Super Bowl for the new commercials.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hmmm...I do like extreme coding....that's a sport right? And chess is rather exciting...I like robot wars but only because I like robots.

Hey i did get HM...cool.

<3Suns> I'm a sports fan, and a computer geek. And a New Englander to boot. So I root for the Sox, Pats, Celtics, and Bruins every year. But mostly just the Sox and the Pats.
<ElvisThePelvis> geek != hate sports

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