[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 326 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:57Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:56Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:54Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:52Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:48Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:44Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:40Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:38Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:36Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:35Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:32Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:31Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:30Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:29Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:28Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:24Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:20Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:16Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:15Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:14Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:12Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:10Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:08Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:05Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:04Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:03Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:02Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:01Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:00Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:58Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:56Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:55Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:54Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:53Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:52Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:49Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:48Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:47Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:44Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:43Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:42Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:41Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:40Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:36Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:35Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:33Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:32Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:31Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:28Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:25Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:24Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:21Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:20Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:19Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:16Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:15Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:14Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:13Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:12Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:11Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:10Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:08Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:07Caption #-3
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:04Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:02Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:01Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker20:03:00Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:57Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:56Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:55Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:53Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:52Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:51Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:50Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:48Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:46Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:44Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:42Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:41Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:40Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:37Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:36Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:33Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:32Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:31Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:30Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:28Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:26Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:24Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:22Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:20Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:18Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:17Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:16Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:12Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:08Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:06Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:04Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:02Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:01Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker20:02:00Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:57Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:56Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:55Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:52Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:51Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:50Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:48Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:47Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:44Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:42Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:40Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:36Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:32Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:30Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:29Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:28Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:24Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:20Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:17Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:16Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:12Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:11Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:10Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:09Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:08Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:07Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:06Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:05Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:04Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:03Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:02Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:01Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker20:01:00Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:59Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:58Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:56Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:55Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:53Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:52Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:50Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:49Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:48Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:45Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:44Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:42Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:41Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:40Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:38Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:36Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:34Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:32Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:30Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:28Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:26Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:24Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:23Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:22Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:21Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:20Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:19Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:18Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:17Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:16Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:15Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:14Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:13Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:12Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:11Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:10Caption #-21
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:08Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:07Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:06Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:05Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:04Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:03Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:02Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker20:00:00Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:59Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:57Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:55Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:52Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:51Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:50Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:48Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:47Caption #982
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:44Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:43Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:42Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:41Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:40Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:39Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:36Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:34Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:32Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:31Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:30Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:29Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:28Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:27Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:24Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:22Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:20Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:19Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:18Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:16Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:15Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:12Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:08Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:06Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:04Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker19:59:00Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:57Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:56Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:55Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:52Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:51Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:50Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:48Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:46Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:42Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:41Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:40Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:36Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:35Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:34Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:32Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:31Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:29Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:28Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:27Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:24Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:23Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:22Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:21Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:20Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:16Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:12Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:08Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:07Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:02Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:01Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker19:58:01Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:59Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:58Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:56Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:55Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:54Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:53Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:52Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:51Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:48Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:44Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:43Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:41Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:40Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:37Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:32Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:28Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:24Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:21Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:16Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:14Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:12Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:11Caption #-30
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:09Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:08Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:06Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:04Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:01Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker19:57:00Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:56Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:53Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:52Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:48Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:46Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:44Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:40Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:39Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:36Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:32Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:28Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:27Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:22Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:20Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:19Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:16Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:12Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:08Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:05Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:04Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker19:56:00Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:56Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:55Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:54Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:53Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:52Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:49Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:48Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:46Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:44Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:42Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:40Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:37Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:36Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:34Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:32Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:29Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:24Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:22Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:20Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:18Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:17Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:16Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:15Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:14Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:12Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:10Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:08Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:07Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:05Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:02Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:01Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker19:55:00Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker19:54:57Caption #710

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post