[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 378 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:07Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:06Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:04Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:03Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:02Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:01Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker13:02:00Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:57Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:55Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:54Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:51Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:49Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:47Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:44Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:43Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:42Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:41Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:40Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:38Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:37Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:36Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:35Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:34Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:32Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:31Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:30Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:29Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:27Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:24Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:23Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:22Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:20Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:18Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:15Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:14Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:13Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:11Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:10Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:09Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:08Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:07Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:05Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:03Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:02Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker13:01:00Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:59Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:57Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:55Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:53Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:51Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:50Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:49Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:48Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:47Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:46Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:45Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:43Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:41Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:40Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:39Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:38Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:37Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:36Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:34Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:32Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:30Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:29Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:28Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:27Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:26Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:25Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:24Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:22Caption #-28
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:21Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:20Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:19Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:18Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:17Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:16Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:15Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:14Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:13Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:12Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:11Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:10Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:09Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:08Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:05Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:04Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:03Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:02Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:01Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker13:00:00Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:59Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:58Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:57Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:56Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:55Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:54Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:53Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:52Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:51Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:50Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:49Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:47Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:46Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:45Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:44Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:43Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:42Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:41Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:40Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:39Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:38Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:37Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:36Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:35Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:34Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:33Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:32Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:31Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:30Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:29Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:28Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:27Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:26Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:25Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:24Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:21Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:20Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:17Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:15Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:14Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:13Caption #-34
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:10Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:09Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:05Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:04Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:03Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:02Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:01Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker12:59:00Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:59Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:58Caption #-54
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:57Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:56Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:55Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:54Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:53Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:52Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:51Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:50Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:49Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:48Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:47Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:46Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:45Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:44Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:43Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:42Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:41Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:40Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:39Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:38Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:34Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:33Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:32Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:31Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:29Caption #-28
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:28Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:24Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:23Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:22Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:19Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:13Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:12Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:11Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:10Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:09Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:08Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:07Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:06Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:05Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:04Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:03Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:02Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:01Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker12:58:00Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:59Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:58Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:57Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:56Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:55Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:54Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:53Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:52Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:51Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:50Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:49Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:48Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:47Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:46Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:44Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:42Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:41Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:38Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:37Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:36Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:33Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:32Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:29Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:28Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:27Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:26Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:25Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:24Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:23Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:22Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:21Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:20Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:19Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:18Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:17Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:16Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:15Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:14Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:13Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:12Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:11Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:10Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:09Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:08Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:07Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:06Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:05Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:04Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:03Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:02Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:01Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker12:57:00Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:59Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:58Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:52Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:51Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:50Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:49Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:48Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:47Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:46Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:45Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:44Caption #-44
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:38Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:30Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:29Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:28Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:27Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:26Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:25Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:24Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:23Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:22Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:21Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:20Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:19Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:18Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:17Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:16Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:15Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:14Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:13Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:12Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:11Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:10Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:09Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:08Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:07Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:06Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:05Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:04Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:03Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:02Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker12:56:00Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:59Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:56Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:55Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:54Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:46Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:43Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:40Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:39Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:35Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:33Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:32Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:31Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:30Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:29Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:28Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:27Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:23Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:15Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:13Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:12Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:10Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:09Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:07Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:05Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:04Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:03Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:02Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:01Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker12:55:00Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:59Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:58Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:57Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:56Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:55Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:52Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:49Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:48Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:47Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:46Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:44Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:35Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:33Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:31Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:30Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:19Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:17Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:12Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:07Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:05Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker12:54:00Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:55Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:53Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:51Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:49Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:48Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:43Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:42Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:41Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:40Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:39Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:38Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:37Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:36Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:35Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:34Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:33Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:32Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:31Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:30Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:29Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:27Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:26Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:25Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:24Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:20Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:19Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:15Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:07Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker12:53:02Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:59Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:52Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:47Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:43Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:41Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:40Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:38Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:37Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:33Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:22Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:20Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:19Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:18Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:16Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:13Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker12:52:11Caption #832

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.


There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post