[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 340 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:06Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:05Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:04Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:03Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:01Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:00Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:59Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:56Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:54Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:53Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:52Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:51Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:50Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:49Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:48Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:47Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:43Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:41Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:34Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:32Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:31Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:25Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:24Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:23Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:20Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:16Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:14Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:13Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:09Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:08Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:07Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:06Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:05Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:04Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:03Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:02Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:57Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:56Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:51Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:50Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:39Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:38Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:37Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:36Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:35Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:34Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:33Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:32Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:31Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:30Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:29Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:27Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:26Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:25Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:24Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:23Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:22Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:21Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:19Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:18Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:16Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:15Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:13Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:12Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:11Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:09Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:06Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:05Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:03Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:02Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:01Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker11:05:00Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:59Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:58Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:57Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:56Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:55Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:54Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:50Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:48Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:46Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:36Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:35Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:33Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:32Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:30Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:28Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:24Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:23Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:22Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:21Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:20Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:19Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:16Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:13Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:12Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:08Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:03Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:01Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker11:04:00Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:55Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:50Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:48Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:47Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:46Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:45Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:44Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:43Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:42Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:41Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:40Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:37Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:36Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:35Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:34Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:33Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:32Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:31Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:30Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:29Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:28Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:27Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:26Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:25Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:24Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:23Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:15Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:13Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:12Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:10Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:07Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:05Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:04Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker11:03:00Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:56Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:55Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:54Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:51Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:48Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:46Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:44Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:43Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:40Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:38Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:33Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:32Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:30Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:29Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:26Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:24Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:23Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:22Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:21Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:20Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:19Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:18Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:17Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:15Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:11Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:06Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:05Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:04Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker11:02:03Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:59Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:58Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:57Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:56Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:55Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:54Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:53Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:52Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:51Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:50Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:49Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:48Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:46Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:45Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:44Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:43Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:42Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:41Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:40Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:38Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:36Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:32Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:30Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:29Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:27Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:26Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:24Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:18Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:15Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:14Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:13Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:12Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:10Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:06Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:05Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:04Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:01Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker11:01:00Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:59Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:56Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:52Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:50Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:49Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:48Caption #980
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:42Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:41Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:40Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:39Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:38Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:37Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:36Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:35Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:33Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:32Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:28Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:25Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:24Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:23Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:21Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:20Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:17Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:16Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:15Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:14Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:11Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:10Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:09Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:07Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:06Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:05Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:03Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:01Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker11:00:00Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:59Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:58Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:54Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:53Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:48Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:47Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:46Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:43Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:41Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:39Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:37Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:34Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:33Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:32Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:29Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:26Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:25Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:24Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:23Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:22Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:21Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:20Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:19Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:18Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:17Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:16Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:15Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:14Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:13Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:13Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:09Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:07Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:05Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker10:59:01Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:59Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:57Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:55Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:54Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:51Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:50Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:49Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:47Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:46Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:45Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:39Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:38Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:36Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:34Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:33Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:31Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:30Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:25Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:24Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:23Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:20Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:19Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:18Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:16Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:15Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:14Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:13Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:12Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:08Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:04Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:03Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:02Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:01Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker10:58:00Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:59Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:58Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:56Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:55Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:53Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:52Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:51Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:50Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:48Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:45Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:44Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:43Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:42Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:41Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:38Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:36Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:35Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:34Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:33Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:30Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:28Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:27Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:25Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:22Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:20Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:19Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:18Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:16Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:15Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:14Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:13Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:12Caption #-18
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:09Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:08Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:07Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker10:57:06Caption #602

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post