[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 221 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker14:19:02Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker14:19:01Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker14:19:00Caption #-25
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:59Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:58Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:57Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:56Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:55Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:53Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:52Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:51Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:50Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:49Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:48Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:47Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:46Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:45Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:44Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:43Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:42Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:41Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:40Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:39Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:38Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:37Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:36Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:35Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:34Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:33Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:32Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:31Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:29Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:28Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:27Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:26Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:25Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:23Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:22Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:21Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:20Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:19Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:17Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:16Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:15Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:14Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:13Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:12Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:11Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:10Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:09Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:08Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:07Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:06Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:04Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:03Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:02Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:01Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker14:18:00Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:59Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:58Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:56Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:55Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:54Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:53Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:52Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:51Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:50Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:48Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:46Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:44Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:43Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:42Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:41Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:40Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:39Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:38Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:37Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:35Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:33Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:32Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:31Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:30Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:29Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:28Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:27Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:26Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:25Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:24Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:23Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:22Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:20Caption #5.2
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:18Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:16Caption #980
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:15Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:14Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:13Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:12Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:11Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:09Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:08Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:07Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:05Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:04Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:02Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker14:17:00Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:59Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:58Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:57Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:56Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:55Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:53Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:51Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:49Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:47Caption #972
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:46Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:45Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:44Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:43Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:42Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:40Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:39Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:37Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:36Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:35Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:34Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:33Caption #-53
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:32Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:31Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:30Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:28Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:26Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:24Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:23Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:22Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:21Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:20Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:19Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:17Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:16Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:15Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:13Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:12Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:10Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:08Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:07Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:06Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:05Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:04Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:03Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:02Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:01Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker14:16:00Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:59Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:58Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:57Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:55Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:53Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:52Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:51Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:50Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:49Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:48Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:47Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:46Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:45Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:44Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:43Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:40Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:39Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:37Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:36Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:35Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:34Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:32Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:29Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:28Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:27Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:25Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:23Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:22Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:21Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:20Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:19Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:18Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:17Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:16Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:15Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:13Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:11Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:10Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:08Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:07Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:06Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:05Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:04Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:03Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:02Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:01Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker14:15:00Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:59Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:58Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:57Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:56Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:55Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:54Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:53Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:52Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:51Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:50Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:49Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:48Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:47Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:46Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:45Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:44Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:43Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:42Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:41Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:40Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:39Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker14:14:38Caption #243

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post