[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 354 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:40Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:39Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:38Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:37Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:35Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:33Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:32Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:28Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:24Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:22Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:21Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:20Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:19Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:18Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:17Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:16Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:15Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:14Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:13Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:12Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:11Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:10Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:09Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:07Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:05Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:02Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:01Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker11:16:00Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:59Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:58Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:55Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:51Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:50Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:49Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:48Caption #995
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:47Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:46Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:45Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:43Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:42Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:39Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:38Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:35Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:32Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:31Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:30Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:29Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:26Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:22Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:20Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:19Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:18Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:16Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:15Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:14Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:13Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:10Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:09Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:06Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:05Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker11:15:01Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:59Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:56Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:54Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:53Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:51Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:50Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:49Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:47Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:46Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:45Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:44Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:42Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:41Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:40Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:37Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:36Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:34Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:28Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:27Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:26Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:22Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:21Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:20Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:17Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:09Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:07Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:06Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:05Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:02Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker11:14:00Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:58Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:57Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:52Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:49Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:45Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:43Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:42Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:40Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:39Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:37Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:29Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:28Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:26Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:24Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:20Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:16Caption #983
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:13Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:12Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:11Caption #975
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:10Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:08Caption #-46
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:07Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:06Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:05Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:04Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:03Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:02Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:01Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker11:13:00Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:58Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:57Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:56Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:55Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:54Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:53Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:52Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:51Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:49Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:46Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:42Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:40Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:38Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:37Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:36Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:35Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:34Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:33Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:32Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:30Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:28Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:21Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:20Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:19Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:19Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:17Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:16Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:15Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:14Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:13Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:09Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:08Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:07Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:06Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:05Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:04Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:03Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:02Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:01Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker11:12:00Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:59Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:58Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:57Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:56Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:54Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:53Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:52Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:51Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:50Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:49Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:48Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:46Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:43Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:42Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:40Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:39Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:38Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:37Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:35Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:32Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:29Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:26Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:25Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:24Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:23Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:22Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:21Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:20Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:19Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:16Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:15Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:14Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:13Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:12Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:11Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:10Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:06Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker11:11:01Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:58Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:53Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:52Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:51Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:50Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:49Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:48Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:47Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:46Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:42Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:41Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:40Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:39Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:38Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:37Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:36Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:35Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:34Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:33Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:32Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:31Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:30Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:29Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:28Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:27Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:20Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:17Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:16Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:15Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:13Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:09Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:06Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:04Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:03Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:02Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:01Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker11:10:00Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:59Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:58Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:57Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:56Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:55Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:54Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:53Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:52Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:51Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:50Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:49Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:48Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:47Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:46Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:41Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:36Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:35Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:32Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:28Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:18Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:17Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:16Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:15Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:14Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:13Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:12Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:11Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:10Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:09Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:08Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:07Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:06Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:05Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:04Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:03Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker11:09:02Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:59Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:55Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:54Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:53Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:52Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:51Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:50Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:46Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:39Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:33Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:32Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:31Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:30Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:29Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:29Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:27Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:26Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:25Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:24Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:23Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:22Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:21Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:18Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:17Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:16Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:15Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:14Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:13Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:12Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:11Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:10Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:09Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:05Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:04Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:03Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:02Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:01Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker11:08:00Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:59Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:58Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:57Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:56Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:54Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:53Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:47Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:45Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:42Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:38Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:36Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:35Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:34Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:32Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:31Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:29Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:27Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:24Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:23Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:22Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:17Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:16Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:15Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:14Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:13Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:12Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:11Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:10Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:06Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:02Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:01Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker11:07:00Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:59Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:57Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:56Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:52Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:50Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:48Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:47Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:46Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:45Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:44Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:42Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker11:06:41Caption #746

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post