[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 361 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:48Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:47Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:46Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:45Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:44Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:43Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:42Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:41Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:40Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:39Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:38Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:37Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:36Caption #-29
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:35Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:34Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:33Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:32Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:31Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:30Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:29Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:27Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:25Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:23Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:20Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:19Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:15Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:14Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:04Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:03Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:02Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:01Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:00Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:59Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:56Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:55Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:54Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:53Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:52Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:51Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:50Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:49Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:48Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:47Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:46Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:45Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:44Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:43Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:42Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:41Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:40Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:39Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:38Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:37Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:36Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:35Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:34Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:33Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:32Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:31Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:30Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:29Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:27Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:24Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:19Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:15Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:14Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:11Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:10Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:07Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:06Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:04Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:03Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:59Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:55Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:51Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:49Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:47Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:46Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:45Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:44Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:43Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:40Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:39Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:37Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:35Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:32Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:31Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:30Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:28Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:27Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:25Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:23Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:16Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:15Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:14Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:11Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:10Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:09Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:07Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:06Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:05Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:03Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:00Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:59Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:58Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:53Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:48Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:47Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:46Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:43Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:38Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:36Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:35Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:34Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:31Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:30Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:29Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:28Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:27Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:26Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:25Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:24Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:23Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:22Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:21Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:19Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:15Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:13Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:12Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:11Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:06Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:04Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:02Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:01Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:59Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:55Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:53Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:51Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:43Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:42Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:41Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:39Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:35Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:34Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:33Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:32Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:31Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:30Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:29Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:25Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:24Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:22Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:21Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:16Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:15Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:14Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:13Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:12Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:11Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:09Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:08Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:07Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:06Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:05Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:04Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:03Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:02Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:01Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:00Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:59Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:58Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:57Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:56Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:55Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:54Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:53Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:51Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:50Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:49Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:48Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:47Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:46Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:45Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:43Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:42Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:41Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:40Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:39Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:38Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:36Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:35Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:34Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:33Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:32Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:30Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:27Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:24Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:22Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:20Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:19Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:18Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:17Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:16Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:15Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:14Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:13Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:11Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:10Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:07Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:06Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:05Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:03Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:01Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:00Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:59Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:54Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:51Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:48Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:47Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:44Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:43Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:42Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:41Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:40Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:39Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:36Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:35Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:33Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:31Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:30Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:29Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:28Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:27Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:26Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:25Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:24Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:23Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:21Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:19Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:16Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:15Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:13Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:12Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:10Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:09Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:07Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:06Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:05Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:04Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:03Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:02Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:01Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:59Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:55Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:53Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:52Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:47Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:46Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:45Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:43Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:39Caption #949
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:37Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:35Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:34Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:32Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:31Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:28Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:27Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:23Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:21Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:20Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:19Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:18Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:17Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:15Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:11Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:10Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:09Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:08Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:07Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:06Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:03Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:01Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker09:26:00Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:59Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:57Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:56Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:55Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:54Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:53Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:52Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:51Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:50Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:47Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:44Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:43Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:39Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:36Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:35Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:34Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:31Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:28Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:27Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:24Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:23Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:19Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:18Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:17Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:15Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:14Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:12Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:11Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:09Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:08Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:07Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:04Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:03Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:02Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:01Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker09:25:00Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:59Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:53Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:49Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:48Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:47Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:46Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:43Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:42Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:41Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:39Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:38Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:35Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:34Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:28Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:27Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:26Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:25Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:23Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:19Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:18Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:17Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:16Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:12Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:11Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:10Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:09Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:08Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:07Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:05Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:04Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:03Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker09:24:01Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:40Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:59Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:58Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:55Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:53Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:51Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:50Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker09:23:48Caption #8

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.


There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post