[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 335 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:25Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:23Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:21Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:20Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:19Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:18Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:17Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:16Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:15Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:14Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:11Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:10Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:08Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:05Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:03Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:59Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:58Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:57Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:55Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:53Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:52Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:51Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:50Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:49Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:48Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:47Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:46Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:44Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:43Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:41Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:40Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:39Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:38Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:37Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:35Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:33Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:31Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:28Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:27Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:26Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:24Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:23Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:21Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:20Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:19Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:18Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:17Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:15Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:13Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:12Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:11Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:07Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:06Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:05Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:04Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:03Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:02Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:01Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:00Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:59Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:58Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:57Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:55Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:53Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:51Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:50Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:49Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:48Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:47Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:46Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:44Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:43Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:42Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:40Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:39Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:38Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:37Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:36Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:35Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:34Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:32Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:31Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:30Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:29Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:28Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:27Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:26Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:24Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:23Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:22Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:20Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:19Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:17Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:16Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:15Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:13Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:12Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:11Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:09Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:08Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:07Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:05Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:04Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:03Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:02Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:01Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:59Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:57Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:56Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:55Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:54Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:53Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:52Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:51Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:50Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:49Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:48Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:47Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:46Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:45Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:44Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:43Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:42Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:41Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:40Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:39Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:38Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:37Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:36Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:35Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:34Caption #-22
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:33Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:32Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:31Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:30Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:28Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:27Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:26Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:24Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:23Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:22Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:21Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:20Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:19Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:18Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:17Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:16Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:15Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:13Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:12Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:11Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:08Caption #-69
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:07Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:06Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:05Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:03Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:01Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:59Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:58Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:57Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:55Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:53Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:51Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:49Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:48Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:47Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:46Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:44Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:43Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:42Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:40Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:39Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:38Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:37Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:36Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:35Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:34Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:33Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:32Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:31Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:30Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:28Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:27Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:26Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:25Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:24Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:23Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:21Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:19Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:18Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:17Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:16Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:15Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:14Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:13Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:11Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:10Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:09Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:08Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:07Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:06Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:05Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:03Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:01Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker17:28:00Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:59Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:58Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:57Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:55Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:53Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:52Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:51Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:50Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:49Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:48Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:47Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:46Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:45Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:44Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:43Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:42Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:41Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:39Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:37Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:36Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:35Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:34Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:32Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:31Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:30Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:29Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:28Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:27Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:25Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:24Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:23Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:19Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:17Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:15Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:13Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:12Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:11Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:10Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:09Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:07Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:06Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:05Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:04Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:03Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker17:27:02Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:59Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:55Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:51Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:49Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:48Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:47Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:44Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:43Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:42Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:41Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:39Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:38Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:37Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:36Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:35Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:33Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:32Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:31Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:30Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:29Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:27Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:25Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:24Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:23Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:21Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:20Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:19Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:17Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:16Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:15Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:13Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:11Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:08Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:07Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:04Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:03Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:02Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:01Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker17:26:00Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:59Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:58Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:57Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:55Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:54Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:53Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:52Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:51Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:50Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:49Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:48Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:47Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:46Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:45Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:43Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:40Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:38Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:37Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:35Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:34Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:33Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:32Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:28Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:27Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:24Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:23Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:21Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:19Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:16Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:15Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:11Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:07Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:03Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:02Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker17:25:01Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:59Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:57Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:56Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:55Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:52Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:51Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:48Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker17:24:47Caption #43

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post