[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 262 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:30Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:29Caption #-68
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:27Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:26Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:19Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:12Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:11Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:10Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:08Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:06Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:05Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:04Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:03Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:58Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:57Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:55Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:46Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:45Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:44Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:43Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:41Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:40Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:39Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:38Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:34Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:31Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:30Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:26Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:25Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:18Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:15Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:14Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:13Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:12Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:11Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:10Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:09Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:08Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:05Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:03Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker19:15:00Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:58Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:57Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:56Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:55Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:54Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:53Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:52Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:51Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:50Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:49Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:48Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:47Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:46Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:45Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:44Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:41Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:39Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:38Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:37Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:34Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:33Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:32Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:31Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:30Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:29Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:27Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:26Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:25Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:24Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:23Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:22Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:20Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:19Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:18Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:17Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:16Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:13Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:12Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:10Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:08Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:08Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:06Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:05Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:04Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:03Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:03Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:01Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker19:14:00Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:59Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:57Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:56Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:55Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:54Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:52Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:49Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:47Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:44Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:42Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:41Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:38Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:37Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:36Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:35Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:33Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:32Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:31Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:30Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:29Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:28Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:27Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:24Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:23Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:22Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:19Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:18Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:16Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:12Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:11Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:10Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:09Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:08Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:07Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:06Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:05Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:04Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker19:13:01Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:57Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:56Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:53Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:52Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:47Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:44Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:43Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:42Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:39Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:37Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:36Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:35Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:32Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:29Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:28Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:25Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:24Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:23Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:22Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:21Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:17Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:16Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:12Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:10Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:08Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:07Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:01Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker19:12:00Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:57Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:55Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:53Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:49Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:46Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:42Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:40Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:39Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:37Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:35Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:33Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:30Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:27Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:25Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:21Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:20Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:17Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:14Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:13Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:11Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:03Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker19:11:02Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:59Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:53Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:51Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:50Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:49Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:46Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:45Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:38Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:37Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:30Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:24Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:21Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:16Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:15Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:12Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:10Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:06Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:05Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:04Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:10:02Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:54Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:48Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:41Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:40Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:39Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:33Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:31Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:30Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:18Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:11Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:09Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:08Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:05Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker19:09:02Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:58Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:54Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:48Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:47Caption #973
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:45Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:43Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:42Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:41Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:39Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:38Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:35Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:30Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:24Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:20Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:19Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:11Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:10Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:07Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:06Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker19:08:02Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:51Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:48Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:47Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:41Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:40Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:39Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:38Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:37Caption #-27
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:30Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:29Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:28Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:28Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:22Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:20Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:09Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:08Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:07Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:06Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:02Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:01Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker19:07:00Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:59Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:55Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:53Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:50Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:42Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:41Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:40Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:39Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker19:06:36Caption #39

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post