[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 218 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker10:54:08Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:59Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:55Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:49Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:40Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:30Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:18Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker10:53:11Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:58Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:57Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:46Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:41Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:38Caption #973
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:37Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:36Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:25Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:22Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:21Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:18Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker10:52:04Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:58Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:57Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:52Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:51Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:50Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:47Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:41Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:40Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:39Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:36Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:29Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:25Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:24Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:20Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:19Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:14Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:05Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker10:51:01Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:56Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:53Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:39Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:36Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:13Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:11Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:09Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:06Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker10:50:01Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:58Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:56Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:54Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:53Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:52Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:49Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:47Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:36Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:35Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:19Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:17Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:16Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:09Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:08Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker10:49:03Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:58Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:55Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:54Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:48Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:41Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:32Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:30Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:27Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:26Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:25Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:21Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:17Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:15Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:14Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:11Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:10Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker10:48:07Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:59Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:58Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:57Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:55Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:54Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:52Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:50Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:49Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:48Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:47Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:46Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:45Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:44Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:43Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:42Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:41Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:40Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:38Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:37Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:36Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:34Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:32Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:30Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:29Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:28Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:26Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:24Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:23Caption #942
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:22Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:20Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:18Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:16Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:14Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:13Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:12Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:10Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:08Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:07Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:06Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:05Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:04Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:03Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:02Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker10:47:00Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:58Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:56Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:54Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:53Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:52Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:50Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:48Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:46Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:44Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:42Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:41Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:40Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:38Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:37Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:36Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:34Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:33Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:32Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:31Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:30Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:28Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:26Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:24Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:22Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:20Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:19Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:18Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:16Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:14Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:12Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:10Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:09Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:08Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:06Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:04Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:02Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker10:46:00Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:59Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:58Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:57Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:56Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:54Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:53Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:52Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:50Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:49Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:48Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:47Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:46Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:45Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:44Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:43Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:42Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:40Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:38Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:36Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:35Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:34Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:33Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:32Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:31Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:29Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:27Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:26Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:25Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:24Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:23Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:22Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:21Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:20Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:18Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:16Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:07Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:06Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:05Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:04Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:03Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:02Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:01Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker10:45:00Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:59Caption #974
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:58Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:42Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:34Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:32Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:22Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:21Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:20Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:19Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:15Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:14Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:12Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:11Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker10:44:08Caption #55

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post