[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 319 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:13Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:12Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:11Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:10Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:06Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:05Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:04Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:03Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:02Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:01Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:56Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:55Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:54Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:53Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:52Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:51Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:50Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:47Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:46Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:45Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:44Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:43Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:42Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:41Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:35Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:32Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:30Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:29Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:24Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:23Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:21Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:18Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:13Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:12Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:11Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:10Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:09Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:08Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:07Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:03Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:02Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:01Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker12:10:00Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:59Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:58Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:57Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:53Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:52Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:50Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:49Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:48Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:47Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:46Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:45Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:44Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:43Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:42Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:41Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:40Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:38Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:37Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:34Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:33Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:31Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:30Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:29Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:28Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:27Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:26Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:25Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:24Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:23Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:22Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:20Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:17Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:16Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:15Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:14Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:13Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:12Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:11Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:10Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:05Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:03Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:02Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:01Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker12:09:00Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:58Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:56Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:55Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:53Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:52Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:51Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:50Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:49Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:48Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:47Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:46Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:44Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:43Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:42Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:41Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:40Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:39Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:38Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:36Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:35Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:34Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:33Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:32Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:31Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:30Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:29Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:28Caption #-46
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:27Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:26Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:25Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:24Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:23Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:22Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:21Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:20Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:19Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:18Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:17Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:12Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:10Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:09Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:07Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:05Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:03Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:02Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker12:08:00Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:58Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:57Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:56Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:54Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:53Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:52Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:51Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:50Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:49Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:48Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:47Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:45Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:43Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:42Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:41Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:40Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:39Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:38Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:37Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:34Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:33Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:32Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:31Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:25Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:24Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:23Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:22Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:21Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:20Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:18Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:16Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:14Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:11Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:10Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:09Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:08Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:07Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:06Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:05Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:04Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:03Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker12:07:00Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:57Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:56Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:55Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:54Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:53Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:52Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:51Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:48Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:47Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:46Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:45Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:44Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:44Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:42Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:41Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:38Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:37Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:36Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:35Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:34Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:33Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:32Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:31Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:26Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:25Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:24Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:20Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:19Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:14Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:13Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:10Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:09Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:05Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:04Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:03Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker12:06:02Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:58Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:57Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:56Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:54Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:53Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:51Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:50Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:49Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:48Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:47Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:46Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:43Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:42Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:41Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:40Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:39Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:38Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:37Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:36Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:33Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:32Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:30Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:27Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:26Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:25Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:23Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:22Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:21Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:18Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:17Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:15Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:13Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:09Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:08Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:07Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:06Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:05Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:04Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:03Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker12:05:02Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:59Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:58Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:57Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:56Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:55Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:54Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:53Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:52Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:50Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:49Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:48Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:46Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:44Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:43Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:42Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:41Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:40Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:39Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:37Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:36Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:34Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:33Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:32Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:31Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:30Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:29Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:27Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:26Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:25Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:22Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:18Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:17Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:16Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:13Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:12Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:11Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:10Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:09Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:08Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:07Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:06Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:03Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:02Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker12:04:01Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:59Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:58Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:57Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:56Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:55Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:54Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:53Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:52Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:51Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:50Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:49Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:48Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:43Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:42Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:41Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:37Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:36Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:34Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:32Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:29Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:28Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:27Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:26Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:23Caption #149

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post