[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 12/16/2003 by apple juice is a verb
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You know something, people? I may be evil...

...and I may have tortured people in strange and unusual ways...

..but at least I had self-respect.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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This week's winner is:

apple juice is a verb

It was a very close competition with at least 5 top draw captions.

Undishonourable mentions go to: Obtuse, Cal and 3Suns.

There are 28 messages for this day.
<guyPaulo> I thought we'd see the photo of the Tawanese chef preparing the dog carcass today. Yes, I'm being serious.
<Lauren> Damn you guyPaulo, you made me look.... now I'm all vaclempt.
<guyPaulo> Talk amongst yourself(s). I'll give you a "tuopic." The tuopic is "Dog: Mans best friend? Not in Tawain." DISCUSS!
<Lauren> Speaking of dogs.... the deer on the subway platform looks a lot like my mutant white shepherd.
<Jmofwiw> These photos are so funny they don't even need captions to make me laugh.
<yoyology> Man, that weightlifter with the dislocated elbow sure has some staying power!
<Mort> Our bad neighbour just moved out, so we went and took some photos:


<Lauren> I don't believe I've ever seen anything quite like that before. I would call the EPA and have that brown stuff tested. But best of all was your comment that the kitchen wasn't so bad...
<GclefNatalie> We've had neighbors like that before, too. One left behind a nasty litter box,tons of fleas, and gnats flying around empty liquor bottles!
<GclefNatalie> Oh, and his fridge was clean like it was never used.
<3Suns> That is just vile. I've never heard of a smell so bad it leaked through the electrical wires.
<guyPaulo> Where's elvis today?
<Lauren> psssst.... 3Suns: The smell couldn't have been that bad. Mort and Mrs. Mort must have covered their electrical outlets and the holes in their medicine cabinets to keep the alien government agents from gassing them in their sleep. Just like my paranoid schizophrenic neighbor did.
<yoyology> They have very fetching tinfoil hats. They match and everything.
<Carol> This calls for one of those companies that specialize in cleaning up nasty crime scenes. (Who knows, it might actually be one.)
<Mort> This is how I always use the computer:
<Lauren> Mort, I hate to tell you this, but you should always wear shades to protect the eyes when using your computer because everyone knows that's how bad images infect your soul.
<mypalmike> I guess the popsicle stick is to prevent you from hurting yourself in case you suddenly have an epileptic seizure.
<yoyology> Popsicle stick? That's his hideously deformed tongue.
<mypalmike> Oh the humanity!
<Mort> My word! That is the last time I do show and tell with you lot! The popsicle stick is actually incase of the random seizures I get, also I wear welding googles to surf the net.
Tomorrows update might be late again, I am going to see Return of the King in a little bit. I am pretty sure that when I get back home I still won't have any internet access...
<yoyology> If I'd only made my acronyms clearer, I coulda been a contenda.
<guyPaulo> Damn it! I thought my second caption was probably the funniest I have ever written, and I get just one comment! I guess you can never judge your own work impartially.
<GclefNatalie> Congratulations to this week's winner!
<apple juice is a verb> My first win...I didn't expect this in light of the fact that I was being mean.
<Lauren> Most of the best humor has an edge to it, apple juice. And it was hard not to be mean to the fat little hobbitses.
<apple juice is a verb> Having seen the strong negative reactions I got, I feel the need to apologize to those of you who feel that pseudo-hobbits are not sillier than deposed dictators. I am sorry. I promise to take you out to dinner (a nice restaurant, not your preferred McDonald's) and later give your hairy feet a good rub-down by the fireside. My wicked tongue will make amends, though not a word is spoken.
<yoyology> So, am I understanding that you'll be using your wicked tongue on our hairy feet? There are websites for that kind of thing, you know.

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