Which explains the night the neighbors called the cops.
I don't remember what happened, really. But they say I became insolent when Abuela demanded pollo frito and refused to pour me my sixteenth mojito until I went into the kitchen and fried some chicken for her.
Apparently the flour flew, then I stormed off dead set on stealing her uninsured truck to purchase a bucket of KFC and replace the label with Fresco! Miu Picante!!
That's when I met the nice fellow from the Miami Police Department. He took me down to the police station where I explained Abuela's demands. He shook his head and said 'Si' before releasing me free of charges.