[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 02/19/2004 by guyPaulo
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The guilt sat heavily on my soul, like a load of impacted feces in my colon. I had failed to get a Valentine's gift for Lauren.

Her orkut profile said she liked "stuffed bears," but I couldn't find any in the store. I did happen to see an ugly beast out in the woods and promptly shot it in the chest. It collapsed on a log with a grunt.

Donning my lucky black hat, I visited Lauren at her prison visiter's room and showed her the gift. She was so happy that she threw up the gangsta "West Side," hand signal.

I'll be gettin' some action in 10-20 years!

(AP)
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Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 8 comments for this caption.

<ElvisThePelvis> Man doin time hangs heavy on Lauren's face. She was hot yesterday.
<3Suns> Nice!
<Lauren> Guy, I am so glad you came. To see me in prison, that is. And the gift is lovely, although it began to develop quite an odor. Perhaps you should have had a taxidermist look at it before bringing it to me.

And Elvis, the sad truth is this is what all women actually look like without makeup.

<mypalmike> Trust guyPaulo to use the phrase "like a load of impacted feces in my colon".
<ElvisThePelvis> Makeup. The great equalizer.
<guyPaulo> OHHHHH, "stuffed" means "preserved to prevent decay." That makes sense. I just stuffed that bear full of cigarettes and heroin so that Lauren could buy her freedom from the white-slavery ring there in prison.
<ajiav> 
<guyPaulo> "Like a load of impacted feces in my colon" is the OPPOSITE of "explosive diarrhea." See?

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