[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 280 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:08Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:07Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:07Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:05Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:04Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:03Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:02Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:01Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:57Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:56Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:55Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:54Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:53Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:52Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:51Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:50Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:49Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:47Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:45Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:43Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:42Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:40Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:37Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:35Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:34Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:32Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:29Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:28Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:26Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:24Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:20Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:18Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:14Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:13Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:12Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:08Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:07Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:06Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:05Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:04Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:03Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:02Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:01Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:00Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:59Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:56Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:55Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:53Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:49Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:46Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:44Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:40Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:36Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:35Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:33Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:31Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:30Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:29Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:28Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:27Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:26Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:25Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:24Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:20Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:19Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:18Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:17Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:16Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:15Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:14Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:13Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:12Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:08Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:05Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:00Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:54Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:53Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:52Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:50Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:46Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:39Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:38Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:37Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:36Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:35Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:34Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:33Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:32Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:27Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:26Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:25Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:24Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:23Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:22Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:21Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:20Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:18Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:07Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:03Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:50Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:49Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:48Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:47Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:46Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:45Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:44Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:41Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:40Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:39Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:38Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:37Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:36Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:35Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:34Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:31Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:27Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:25Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:22Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:20Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:19Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:18Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:17Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:16Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:15Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:14Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:13Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:12Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:11Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:08Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:07Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:05Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:59Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:56Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:52Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:49Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:48Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:47Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:46Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:45Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:44Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:43Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:40Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:39Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:37Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:30Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:29Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:28Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:27Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:26Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:25Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:24Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:23Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:16Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:14Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:13Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:12Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:09Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:03Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:02Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:01Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:00Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:59Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:58Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:57Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:56Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:55Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:54Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:53Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:52Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:51Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:50Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:49Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:48Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:47Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:46Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:41Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:38Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:33Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:32Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:26Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:25Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:24Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:22Caption #-38
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:18Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:14Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:13Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:08Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:07Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:06Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:05Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:04Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker02:19:03Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:59Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:58Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:53Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:51Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:50Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:45Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:44Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:42Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:39Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:37Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:34Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:19Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:15Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:10Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker02:18:01Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:50Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:49Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:47Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:45Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:44Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:43Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:42Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:36Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:35Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:34Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:33Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:30Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:25Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:24Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:19Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:18Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:17Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:15Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:13Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:12Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:06Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker02:17:04Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:57Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:52Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:51Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:50Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:46Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:42Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:41Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:40Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:39Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:38Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:37Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:36Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:31Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:29Caption #-10
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:26Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:25Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:22Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:21Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:15Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:11Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:09Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:07Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:06Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:04Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:02Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:01Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker02:16:00Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:59Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:56Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:53Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:51Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:50Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:48Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:46Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:41Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:40Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:32Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:31Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:29Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:27Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:23Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:22Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:21Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:20Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:17Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:16Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:13Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:11Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:09Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker02:15:08Caption #120

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post