[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 331 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:36Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:35Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:34Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:33Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:32Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:31Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:30Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:29Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:28Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:27Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:26Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:25Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:24Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:23Caption #977
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:22Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:20Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:19Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:18Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:16Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:15Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:14Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:13Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:12Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:11Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:10Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:09Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:08Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:05Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:04Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:03Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:02Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:01Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker11:43:00Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:59Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:58Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:57Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:54Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:53Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:52Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:50Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:49Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:48Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:47Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:46Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:45Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:44Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:43Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:40Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:39Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:38Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:37Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:32Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:31Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:30Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:29Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:28Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:27Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:26Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:25Caption #955
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:23Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:22Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:21Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:20Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:19Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:18Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:17Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:16Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:15Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:13Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:12Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:11Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:10Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:09Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:08Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:07Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:06Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:03Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker11:42:02Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:59Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:58Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:53Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:52Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:48Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:47Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:46Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:45Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:44Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:43Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:42Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:41Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:38Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:37Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:36Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:35Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:33Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:32Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:31Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:30Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:29Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:28Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:27Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:26Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:25Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:24Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:23Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:22Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:21Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:20Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:19Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:18Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:17Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:16Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:13Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:12Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:11Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:10Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:09Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:07Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:06Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:05Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:04Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker11:41:00Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:59Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:56Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:54Caption #-23
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:53Caption #-68
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:52Caption #-30
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:51Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:50Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:46Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:45Caption #961
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:44Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:40Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:39Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:36Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:35Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:33Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:32Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:31Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:30Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:29Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:28Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:27Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:26Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:25Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:24Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:20Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:16Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:15Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:14Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:13Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:12Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:11Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:10Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:09Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:05Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker11:40:00Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:55Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:54Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:51Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:50Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:49Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:48Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:47Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:46Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:45Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:44Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:43Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:42Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:41Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:40Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:38Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:37Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:36Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:35Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:34Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:32Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:31Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:25Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:24Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:22Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:21Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:20Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:19Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:18Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:17Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:14Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:09Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:08Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:07Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:06Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:05Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:03Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker11:39:02Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:52Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:51Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:50Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:49Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:48Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:47Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:46Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:45Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:44Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:43Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:42Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:41Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:40Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:39Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:37Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:36Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:31Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:23Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:18Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:09Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:07Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:06Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:05Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:04Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:03Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:02Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker11:38:00Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:59Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:58Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:56Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:55Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:54Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:52Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:41Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:39Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:38Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:37Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:32Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:28Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:27Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:26Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:25Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:24Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:22Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:16Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:13Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:08Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:07Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:06Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:01Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker11:37:00Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:59Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:58Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:57Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:56Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:55Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:51Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:49Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:48Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:46Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:45Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:41Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:36Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:35Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:32Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:31Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:30Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:29Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:22Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:21Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:19Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:17Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:13Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:12Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:10Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:09Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:07Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:06Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker11:36:02Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:59Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:58Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:57Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:53Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:52Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:48Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:47Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:46Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:44Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:42Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:41Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:40Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:39Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:37Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:35Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:34Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:32Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:30Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:29Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:28Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:27Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:26Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:25Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:19Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:14Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:13Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:12Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:10Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:09Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:06Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:05Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:04Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:03Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:02Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:01Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker11:35:00Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:59Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:58Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:56Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:48Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:46Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:45Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:39Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:35Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:34Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:23Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:20Caption #-88
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:10Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:07Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:03Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker11:34:00Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:59Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:58Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:52Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:51Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:46Caption #459

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post