[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 291 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:27Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:26Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:25Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:23Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:21Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:19Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:14Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:07Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:06Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:03Caption #934
Mr. NonameLurker15:50:00Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:58Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:51Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:50Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:48Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:44Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:40Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:38Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:37Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:36Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:35Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:33Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:27Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:24Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:23Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:22Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:20Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:19Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:15Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:14Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:11Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:10Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:09Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:08Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:04Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:03Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker15:49:02Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:59Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:54Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:53Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:49Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:48Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:47Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:46Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:43Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:42Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:38Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:35Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:34Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:32Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:30Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:29Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:25Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:21Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:19Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:16Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:15Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:14Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:13Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:12Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:10Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:09Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:08Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:05Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:04Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker15:48:01Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:59Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:58Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:56Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:55Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:54Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:51Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:49Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:44Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:43Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:41Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:39Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:33Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:31Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:29Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:24Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:21Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:19Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:18Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:17Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:15Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:13Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:12Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:11Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:09Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:08Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:07Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker15:47:05Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:59Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:57Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:53Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:49Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:45Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:40Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:37Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:35Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:31Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:24Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:23Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:17Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:14Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:11Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:09Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:08Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:06Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker15:46:05Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:57Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:55Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:52Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:50Caption #3.8
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:49Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:46Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:43Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:42Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:38Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:36Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:35Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:33Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:32Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:29Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:22Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:17Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:15Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:13Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:12Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:11Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:09Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:06Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:04Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:01Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker15:45:00Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:59Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:58Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:56Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:55Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:53Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:50Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:47Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:44Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:43Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:39Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:38Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:35Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:34Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:33Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:30Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:29Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:28Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:27Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:25Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:24Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:21Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:18Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:16Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:12Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:11Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:10Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:05Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:04Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:03Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:02Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker15:44:00Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:59Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:58Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:56Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:54Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:52Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:51Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:49Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:48Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:45Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:42Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:41Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:40Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:38Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:36Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:34Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:31Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:29Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:27Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:26Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:25Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:24Caption #-23
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:23Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:21Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:20Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:19Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:18Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:16Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:14Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:13Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:10Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:07Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:05Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:03Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker15:43:00Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:59Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:58Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:57Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:56Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:55Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:53Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:51Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:50Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:48Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:47Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:46Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:44Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:42Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:41Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:38Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:36Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:35Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:34Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:32Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:31Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:28Caption #905
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:27Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:26Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:25Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:23Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:22Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:19Caption #-3
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:18Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:14Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:13Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:10Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:09Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:08Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:07Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:04Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker15:42:03Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:59Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:58Caption #-30
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:57Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:55Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:54Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:53Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:50Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:48Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:47Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:46Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:45Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:44Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:42Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:39Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:38Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:37Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:36Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:34Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:31Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:29Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:28Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:26Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:23Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:22Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:20Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:19Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:18Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:17Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:16Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:15Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:14Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:11Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:08Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:07Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:06Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:03Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker15:41:02Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:58Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:55Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:54Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:51Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:50Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:49Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:48Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:47Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:46Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:42Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:38Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:35Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:34Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:32Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:31Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:29Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker15:40:27Caption #274

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post