[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 242 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:20Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:19Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:18Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:17Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:16Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:15Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:13Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:12Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:11Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:10Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:09Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:08Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:07Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:06Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:05Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:04Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:03Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:02Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:01Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker04:33:00Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:57Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:56Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:55Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:54Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:53Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:52Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:51Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:50Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:49Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:47Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:44Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:39Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:38Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:37Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:35Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:34Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:30Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:29Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:21Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:20Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:19Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:17Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:15Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:13Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:07Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:04Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:02Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:01Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker04:32:00Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:59Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:59Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:58Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:56Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:55Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:54Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:53Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:50Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:47Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:44Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:43Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:42Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:38Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:36Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:35Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:31Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:30Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:29Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:28Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:27Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:26Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:25Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:24Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:22Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:19Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:15Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:14Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:13Caption #-58
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:11Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:10Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:09Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:08Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:06Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:05Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:04Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker04:31:03Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:58Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:57Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:56Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:55Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:54Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:53Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:52Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:51Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:50Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:49Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:48Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:44Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:43Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:41Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:40Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:38Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:37Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:36Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:32Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:30Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:28Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:25Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:24Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:23Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:22Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:21Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:20Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:19Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:18Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:17Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:16Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:15Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:12Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:08Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:07Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:04Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:03Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker04:30:01Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:59Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:57Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:56Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:55Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:53Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:51Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:47Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:46Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:43Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:42Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:41Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:40Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:39Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:38Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:37Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:36Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:35Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:34Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:33Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:32Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:21Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:20Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:19Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:18Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:12Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:07Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:06Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:05Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:04Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:03Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:02Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:01Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker04:29:00Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:58Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:56Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:54Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:52Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:51Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:50Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:49Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:48Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:47Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:46Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:45Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:44Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:37Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:34Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:31Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:28Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:27Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:19Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:18Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:12Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:05Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:03Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:02Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker04:28:01Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:58Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:57Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:53Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:49Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:48Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:47Caption #-23
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:46Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:44Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:39Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:31Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:29Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:27Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:26Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:25Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:20Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:17Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:15Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:14Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:10Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:09Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:07Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:06Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker04:27:01Caption #-3
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:59Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:56Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:53Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:52Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:50Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:48Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:47Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:45Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:43Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:42Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:38Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:35Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:34Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:33Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:32Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:30Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:27Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:16Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:12Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:11Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:10Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:09Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:06Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:05Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:01Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:56Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:55Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:54Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:52Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:51Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:49Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:48Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:45Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:43Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:42Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:41Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:40Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:31Caption #309

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post