[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 577 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:08Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:07Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:06Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:05Caption #983
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:04Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:03Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:02Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:01Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:00Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:59Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:58Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:57Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:56Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:55Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:54Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:53Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:52Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:51Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:50Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:49Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:48Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:47Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:46Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:45Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:44Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:43Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:42Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:41Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:40Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:39Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:38Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:37Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:36Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:35Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:34Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:33Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:32Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:31Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:30Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:28Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:27Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:26Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:25Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:24Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:23Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:22Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:21Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:20Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:19Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:18Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:17Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:16Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:15Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:14Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:13Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:11Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:10Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:08Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:07Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:06Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:05Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:04Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:03Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:02Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:01Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:00Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:59Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:58Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:57Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:56Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:55Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:54Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:53Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:52Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:51Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:50Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:49Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:48Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:47Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:46Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:45Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:44Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:43Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:42Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:41Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:40Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:39Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:38Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:37Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:36Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:35Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:34Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:33Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:32Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:31Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:30Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:29Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:28Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:27Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:26Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:25Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:24Caption #959
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:23Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:22Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:21Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:20Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:19Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:18Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:17Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:16Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:15Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:14Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:13Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:12Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:11Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:09Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:08Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:07Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:06Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:05Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:04Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:03Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:02Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:01Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:00Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:59Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:58Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:57Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:56Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:55Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:54Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:52Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:51Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:50Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:49Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:48Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:47Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:46Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:45Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:44Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:43Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:42Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:41Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:40Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:39Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:38Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:37Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:37Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:35Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:34Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:33Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:32Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:31Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:30Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:29Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:28Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:27Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:26Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:25Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:24Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:23Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:22Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:21Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:20Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:19Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:18Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:17Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:16Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:15Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:14Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:13Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:12Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:11Caption #978
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:10Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:09Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:08Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:07Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:06Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:05Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:04Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:02Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:01Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:00Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:59Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:58Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:57Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:56Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:55Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:54Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:53Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:52Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:51Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:50Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:49Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:47Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:46Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:45Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:44Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:43Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:42Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:41Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:40Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:39Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:38Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:37Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:36Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:35Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:34Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:33Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:32Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:31Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:30Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:29Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:28Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:27Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:26Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:25Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:24Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:23Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:22Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:21Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:20Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:19Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:18Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:17Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:16Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:15Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:14Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:13Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:11Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:10Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:09Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:08Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:07Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:06Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:05Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:04Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:03Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:02Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:01Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:00Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:59Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:58Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:57Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:56Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:55Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:54Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:53Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:52Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:51Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:50Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:49Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:48Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:47Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:46Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:45Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:44Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:43Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:42Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:41Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:40Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:39Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:38Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:37Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:36Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:35Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:34Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:33Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:32Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:31Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:30Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:29Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:28Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:27Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:26Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:25Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:24Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:22Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:21Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:20Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:19Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:18Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:17Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:16Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:15Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:14Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:13Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:12Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:11Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:10Caption #-18
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:09Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:07Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:05Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:04Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:03Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:02Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:01Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:00Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:59Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:58Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:57Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:56Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:55Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:54Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:53Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:52Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:51Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:50Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:49Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:48Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:47Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:46Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:45Caption #-5
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:44Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:43Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:42Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:41Caption #-13
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:40Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:39Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:38Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:37Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:36Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:35Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:34Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:33Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:32Caption #02
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:31Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:30Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:29Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:28Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:27Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:26Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:25Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:24Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:23Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:22Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:21Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:20Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:19Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:18Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:17Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:16Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:15Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:14Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:13Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:12Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:11Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:10Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:09Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:08Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:07Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:06Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:05Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:04Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:03Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:02Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:01Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:00Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:59Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:58Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:57Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:56Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:55Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:54Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:53Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:52Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:51Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:50Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:49Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:48Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:47Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:46Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:44Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:43Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:42Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:41Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:40Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:39Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:38Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:37Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:36Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:35Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:34Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:33Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:32Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:31Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:30Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:29Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:27Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:26Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:25Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:24Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:23Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:22Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:21Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:20Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:19Caption #-54
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:18Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:17Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:16Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:15Caption #-62
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:14Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:13Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:12Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:11Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:10Caption #-41
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:08Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:07Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:06Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:05Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:04Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:03Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:02Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:01Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:00Caption #-81
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:59Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:58Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:57Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:56Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:55Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:54Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:53Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:52Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:51Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:50Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:49Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:48Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:47Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:46Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:45Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:44Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:43Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:42Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:41Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:40Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:39Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:38Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:37Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:36Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:35Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:34Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:33Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:32Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:31Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:30Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:29Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:28Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:27Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:26Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:25Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:24Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:23Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:22Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:21Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:20Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:19Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:18Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:17Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:16Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:14Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:13Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:12Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:11Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:10Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:09Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:08Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:07Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:06Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:05Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:04Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:03Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:02Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:01Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:00Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:59Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:58Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:57Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:56Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:55Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:53Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:52Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:51Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:50Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:49Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:48Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:47Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:46Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:45Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:44Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:43Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:42Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:41Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:40Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:39Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:38Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:37Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:36Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:35Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:34Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:33Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:32Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:31Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:30Caption #-62
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:29Caption #-10
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:28Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:27Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:26Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:25Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:24Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:22Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:21Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:20Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:19Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:18Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:17Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:16Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:15Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:14Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:13Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:12Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:11Caption #-45
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:10Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:09Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:08Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:07Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:06Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:04Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:03Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:02Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:01Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:00Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:58Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:57Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:56Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:55Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:54Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:53Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:52Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:51Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:50Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:48Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:47Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:46Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:45Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:44Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:43Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:42Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:41Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:40Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:39Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:38Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:37Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:36Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:35Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:34Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:33Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:32Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:31Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:30Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:29Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:28Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:27Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:26Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:25Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:24Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:23Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:22Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:20Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:18Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:17Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:16Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:15Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:14Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:13Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:12Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:11Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker12:11:10Caption #318

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post