[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 346 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:37Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:36Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:35Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:34Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:33Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:32Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:31Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:30Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:29Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:28Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:27Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:26Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:25Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:24Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:23Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:22Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:21Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:20Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:19Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:18Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:17Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:16Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:15Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:14Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:13Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:12Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:11Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:10Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:09Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:08Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:07Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:06Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:05Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:04Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:03Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:02Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:01Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker19:34:00Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:59Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:58Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:57Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:56Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:55Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:54Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:53Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:52Caption #934
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:51Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:50Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:49Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:48Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:47Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:46Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:45Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:44Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:43Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:42Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:41Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:40Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:39Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:38Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:37Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:36Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:35Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:34Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:33Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:32Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:31Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:30Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:29Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:28Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:27Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:26Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:25Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:24Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:23Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:22Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:21Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:20Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:19Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:18Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:17Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:16Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:15Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:14Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:13Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:12Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:11Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:10Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:09Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:08Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:07Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:06Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:05Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:04Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:03Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:02Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:01Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker19:33:00Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:59Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:58Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:57Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:56Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:55Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:54Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:53Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:52Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:51Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:50Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:49Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:48Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:47Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:46Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:45Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:44Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:43Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:42Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:41Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:40Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:39Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:38Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:37Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:36Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:35Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:34Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:33Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:32Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:31Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:30Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:29Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:28Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:27Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:26Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:25Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:24Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:23Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:22Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:21Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:20Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:19Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:18Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:17Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:16Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:15Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:14Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:13Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:12Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:11Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:10Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:09Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:08Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:07Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:06Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:05Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:04Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:03Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:02Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:01Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:32:00Caption #-29
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:59Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:58Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:57Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:56Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:55Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:54Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:53Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:52Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:51Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:50Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:49Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:48Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:47Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:46Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:45Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:44Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:43Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:42Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:41Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:40Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:39Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:38Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:37Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:36Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:35Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:34Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:33Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:32Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:31Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:30Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:29Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:28Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:27Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:26Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:25Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:24Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:23Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:22Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:21Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:20Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:19Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:18Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:17Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:16Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:15Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:14Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:13Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:12Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:11Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:10Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:09Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:08Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:07Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:06Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:05Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:04Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:03Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:02Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:01Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker19:31:00Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:59Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:58Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:57Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:56Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:55Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:54Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:53Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:52Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:51Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:50Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:49Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:48Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:47Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:46Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:45Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:44Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:43Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:42Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:41Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:40Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:39Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:38Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:37Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:36Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:35Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:34Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:33Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:32Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:31Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:30Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:29Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:28Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:27Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:26Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:25Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:24Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:23Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:22Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:21Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:20Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:19Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:18Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:17Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:16Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:15Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:14Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:13Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:12Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:11Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:10Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:09Caption #-49
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:08Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:07Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:06Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:05Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:04Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:03Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:02Caption #-31
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:01Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker19:30:00Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:59Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:58Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:57Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:56Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:55Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:54Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:53Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:52Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:51Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:50Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:49Caption #-37
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:48Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:47Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:46Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:45Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:44Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:43Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:42Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:41Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:40Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:39Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:38Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:37Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:36Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:35Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:34Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:33Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:32Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:31Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:30Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:29Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:28Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:27Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:26Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:25Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:24Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:23Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:22Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:21Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:20Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:19Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:18Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:17Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:16Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:15Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:14Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:13Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:12Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:11Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:10Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:09Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:08Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:07Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:06Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:05Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:04Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:03Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:02Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:01Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker19:29:00Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:59Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:58Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:57Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:56Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:55Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:54Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:53Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker19:28:52Caption #672

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post