[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 351 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:33Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:32Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:31Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:30Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:27Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:25Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:24Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:23Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:22Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:21Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:20Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:19Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:18Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:12Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:09Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:08Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:07Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:06Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:05Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:04Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:03Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:59Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:57Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:56Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:52Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:48Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:47Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:46Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:45Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:44Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:43Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:42Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:38Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:37Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:34Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:33Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:32Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:31Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:30Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:29Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:28Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:27Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:25Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:24Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:23Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:22Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:21Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:20Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:19Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:18Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:17Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:08Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:06Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:03Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:02Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:01Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:00Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:59Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:58Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:57Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:55Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:47Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:43Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:42Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:41Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:40Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:39Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:38Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:37Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:35Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:34Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:33Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:32Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:31Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:30Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:29Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:28Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:25Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:24Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:23Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:22Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:21Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:20Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:19Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:18Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:15Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:14Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:13Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:12Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:11Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:10Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:09Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:08Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:07Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:04Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:03Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:02Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:00Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:54Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:53Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:52Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:51Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:50Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:49Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:48Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:47Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:46Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:44Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:43Caption #-10
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:42Caption #-44
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:40Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:29Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:26Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:25Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:23Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:21Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:19Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:18Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:13Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:07Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:05Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:04Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:03Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:02Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:00Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:59Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:58Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:57Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:56Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:55Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:54Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:53Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:52Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:51Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:50Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:49Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:48Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:45Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:43Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:41Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:37Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:34Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:31Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:30Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:28Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:27Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:25Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:24Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:23Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:22Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:20Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:16Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:15Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:14Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:11Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:10Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:04Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:03Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:00Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:59Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:58Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:57Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:56Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:55Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:54Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:51Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:49Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:46Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:43Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:40Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:38Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:36Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:35Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:34Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:33Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:32Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:31Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:28Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:25Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:23Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:22Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:18Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:11Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:09Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:08Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:07Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:03Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:02Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:01Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:00Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:56Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:55Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:54Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:53Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:51Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:50Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:49Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:48Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:47Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:46Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:44Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:43Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:42Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:41Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:39Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:38Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:37Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:36Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:35Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:31Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:30Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:29Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:27Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:23Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:22Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:21Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:20Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:13Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:12Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:11Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:09Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:07Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:06Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:05Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:04Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:02Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:00Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:58Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:57Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:56Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:55Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:54Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:52Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:51Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:50Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:49Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:48Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:47Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:46Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:45Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:44Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:43Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:42Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:41Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:39Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:37Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:36Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:35Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:34Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:33Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:32Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:31Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:30Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:29Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:28Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:27Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:26Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:25Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:24Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:23Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:22Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:21Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:20Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:19Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:18Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:17Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:15Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:12Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:10Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:07Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:06Caption #-53
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:04Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:03Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:02Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:01Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:00Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:59Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:58Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:57Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:56Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:55Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:54Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:53Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:52Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:51Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:50Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:49Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:48Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:47Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:46Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:45Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:44Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:42Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:41Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:40Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:39Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:38Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:37Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:36Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:35Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:34Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:31Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:30Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:29Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:28Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:26Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:23Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:22Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:18Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:16Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:15Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:13Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:11Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:10Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:07Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:01Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:00Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:59Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:57Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:56Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:55Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:54Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:53Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:50Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:46Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:45Caption #-33
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:44Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:43Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:40Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:39Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:35Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:33Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:31Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:29Caption #-87
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:24Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:18Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:17Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:13Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:11Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:09Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:06Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker04:15:05Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:58Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:57Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:53Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:47Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:46Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:45Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:44Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:41Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker04:14:38Caption #709

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post