[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 252 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:57Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:56Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:52Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:48Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:44Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:41Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:40Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:39Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:38Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:37Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:36Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:35Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:34Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:33Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:32Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:31Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:30Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:29Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:28Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:27Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:26Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:25Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:24Caption #992
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:23Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:22Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:21Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:20Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:19Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:18Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:17Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:16Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:12Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:09Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:08Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:05Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:04Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:01Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker21:10:00Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:59Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:58Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:57Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:56Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:55Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:53Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:52Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:51Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:50Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:49Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:48Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:47Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:46Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:45Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:44Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:43Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:42Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:41Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:36Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:35Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:34Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:33Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:32Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:31Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:30Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:29Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:28Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:27Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:26Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:25Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:24Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:23Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:21Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:20Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:19Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:18Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:17Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:16Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:15Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:14Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:13Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:12Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:11Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:10Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:09Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:08Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:07Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:06Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:05Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:04Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:03Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:01Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker21:09:00Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:59Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:58Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:57Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:56Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:55Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:54Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:53Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:52Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:51Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:50Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:49Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:44Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:40Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:39Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:36Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:35Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:34Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:33Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:32Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:31Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:29Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:28Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:27Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:26Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:25Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:24Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:23Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:21Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:18Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:17Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:16Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:15Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:14Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:13Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:12Caption #969
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:11Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:10Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:09Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:08Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:07Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:05Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:02Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:01Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker21:08:00Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:59Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:57Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:56Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:54Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:53Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:52Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:51Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:48Caption #948
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:47Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:45Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:44Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:42Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:41Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:38Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:37Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:36Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:35Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:34Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:32Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:31Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:30Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:29Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:28Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:27Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:26Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:24Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:23Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:22Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:21Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:20Caption #972
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:16Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:15Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:13Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:12Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:11Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:10Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:08Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:04Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:02Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker21:07:00Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:59Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:57Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:53Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:52Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:50Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:49Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:47Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:46Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:45Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:44Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:41Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:38Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:37Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:36Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:35Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:33Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:32Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:31Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:30Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:29Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:28Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:27Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:26Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:25Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:24Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:23Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:22Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:21Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:20Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:18Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:17Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:16Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:15Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:14Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:13Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:12Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:09Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:08Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:07Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:05Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:04Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:03Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:02Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker21:06:00Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:56Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:54Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:53Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:52Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:51Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:50Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:49Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:48Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:47Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:46Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:44Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:42Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:41Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:40Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:39Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:38Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:37Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:36Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:35Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:34Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:33Caption #990
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:32Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:31Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:29Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:27Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:26Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:25Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:24Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:23Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:22Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:21Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:20Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker21:05:19Caption #

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post