[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 220 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:25Caption #986
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:24Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:23Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:20Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:19Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:16Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:15Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:12Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:11Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:10Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:10Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:08Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:06Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:05Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:04Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:03Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker10:11:02Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:59Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:53Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:52Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:50Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:42Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:40Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:32Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:27Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:25Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:24Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:23Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:22Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:21Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:20Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:19Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:18Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:17Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:16Caption #-13
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:14Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:12Caption #992
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:10Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:07Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:06Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:05Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:02Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker10:10:00Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:51Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:47Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:46Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:45Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:44Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:42Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:35Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:32Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:31Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:28Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:26Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:24Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:23Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:18Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:17Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:16Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:15Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:12Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:04Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker10:09:00Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:59Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:55Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:53Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:49Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:48Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:45Caption #937
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:43Caption #978
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:39Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:38Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:33Caption #942
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:31Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:30Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:25Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:24Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:23Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:22Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:19Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:17Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:16Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:15Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:14Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:13Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:12Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:11Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:10Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:09Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:06Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:04Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:03Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker10:08:02Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:58Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:57Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:51Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:50Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:49Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:47Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:46Caption #942
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:44Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:36Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:34Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:33Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:32Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:28Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:24Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:20Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:15Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:14Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:13Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:10Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:09Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:07Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:05Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:02Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker10:07:01Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:56Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:55Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:54Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:53Caption #974
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:44Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:40Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:39Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:38Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:31Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:26Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:24Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:23Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:22Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:17Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:16Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:15Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:12Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:05Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker10:06:01Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:59Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:56Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:54Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:51Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:50Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:48Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:41Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:39Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:35Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:33Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:31Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:30Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:28Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:24Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:22Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:08Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker10:05:00Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:51Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:44Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:42Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:41Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:40Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:37Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:26Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:25Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:23Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:21Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:16Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:15Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:10Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:09Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:05Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:03Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker10:04:01Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:58Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:57Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:55Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:53Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:48Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:45Caption #-21
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:41Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:33Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:29Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:26Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:25Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:21Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:19Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:14Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:11Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:08Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:07Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:06Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker10:03:04Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:59Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:58Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:55Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:52Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:51Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:47Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:46Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:38Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:34Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:24Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:23Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:21Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:20Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:13Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:12Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:11Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:09Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:08Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker10:02:02Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:59Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:58Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:49Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:44Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:42Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:31Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:30Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:29Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker10:01:26Caption #570

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post