[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 287 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:49Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:48Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:47Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:46Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:43Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:41Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:38Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:34Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:23Caption #-18
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:20Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:16Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:15Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:14Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:10Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:09Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:07Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:06Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:05Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:04Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:03Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:02Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:01Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:00Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:59Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:58Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:57Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:55Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:54Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:52Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:51Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:49Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:48Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:46Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:45Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:43Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:42Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:41Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:35Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:27Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:21Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:20Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:19Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:18Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:17Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:16Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:15Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:12Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:08Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:07Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:06Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:05Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:04Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:59Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:58Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:53Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:52Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:51Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:50Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:49Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:45Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:44Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:42Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:41Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:37Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:33Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:30Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:29Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:27Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:24Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:23Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:22Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:19Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:17Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:16Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:14Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:13Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:12Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:10Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:09Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:05Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:03Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:02Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:57Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:56Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:53Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:52Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:51Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:50Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:49Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:48Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:47Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:46Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:45Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:44Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:43Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:42Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:41Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:40Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:39Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:38Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:37Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:36Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:35Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:34Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:33Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:32Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:29Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:25Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:19Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:13Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:12Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:11Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:10Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:09Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:08Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:05Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:04Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:03Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:02Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:01Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:00Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:52Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:51Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:49Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:46Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:45Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:38Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:32Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:31Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:30Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:29Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:28Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:27Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:26Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:23Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:18Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:14Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:10Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:03Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:56Caption #948
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:48Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:46Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:45Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:44Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:43Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:42Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:41Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:40Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:39Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:38Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:37Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:36Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:35Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:34Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:33Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:31Caption #989
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:25Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:19Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:12Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:11Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:10Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:09Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:08Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:07Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:57Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:56Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:55Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:54Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:53Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:52Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:51Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:50Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:49Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:48Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:47Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:46Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:45Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:43Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:42Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:41Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:40Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:39Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:38Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:37Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:36Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:35Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:34Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:33Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:32Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:31Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:29Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:28Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:20Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:19Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:17Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:16Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:14Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:08Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:06Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:00Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:59Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:58Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:57Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:56Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:55Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:54Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:53Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:52Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:51Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:50Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:49Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:48Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:46Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:45Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:44Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:43Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:42Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:37Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:36Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:35Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:34Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:31Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:22Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:21Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:20Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:19Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:17Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:16Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:15Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:14Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:07Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:06Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:05Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:04Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:03Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:58Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:55Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:51Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:49Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:45Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:42Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:37Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:36Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:35Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:27Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:24Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:20Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:16Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:14Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:10Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:09Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:08Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:07Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:06Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:55Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:54Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:53Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:52Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:51Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:50Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:49Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:48Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:47Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:43Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:40Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:39Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:38Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:24Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:15Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:14Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:13Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:12Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:11Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:10Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:09Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:05Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:01Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:00Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:58Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:57Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:56Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:54Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:53Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:52Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:51Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:50Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker17:55:49Caption #637

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post