[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 330 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:52Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:51Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:50Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:49Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:48Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:47Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:45Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:41Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:39Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:37Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:36Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:33Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:30Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:26Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:25Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:24Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:21Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:20Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:19Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:18Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:17Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:16Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:15Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:13Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:10Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:09Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:08Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:07Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:06Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:05Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:04Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:03Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:02Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:01Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker02:30:00Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:59Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:58Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:53Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:52Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:49Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:47Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:46Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:45Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:42Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:41Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:38Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:37Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:35Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:28Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:27Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:26Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:24Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:21Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:20Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:19Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:16Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:15Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:14Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:13Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:12Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:11Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:10Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:09Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:08Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:07Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:06Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:05Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:04Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker02:29:01Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:56Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:55Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:54Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:53Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:50Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:49Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:48Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:47Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:45Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:40Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:36Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:34Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:32Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:31Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:30Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:29Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:28Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:27Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:26Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:23Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:22Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:20Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:16Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:13Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:12Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:11Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:10Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:09Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:06Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:04Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:03Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker02:28:01Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:56Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:52Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:51Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:48Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:47Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:46Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:45Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:44Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:43Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:42Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:41Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:40Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:39Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:38Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:37Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:36Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:34Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:32Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:31Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:30Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:29Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:26Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:20Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:19Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:18Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:17Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:16Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:14Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:13Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:11Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:09Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:08Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:07Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:06Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:04Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:03Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker02:27:00Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:58Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:56Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:53Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:52Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:51Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:50Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:49Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:48Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:47Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:46Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:45Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:44Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:43Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:42Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:41Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:40Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:37Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:32Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:29Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:28Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:24Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:23Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:22Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:21Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:20Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:19Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:18Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:17Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:15Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:14Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:13Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:08Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:07Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:05Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:04Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:03Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:01Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker02:26:00Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:56Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:48Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:47Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:46Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:45Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:44Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:43Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:42Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:41Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:40Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:39Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:38Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:37Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:36Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:32Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:30Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:28Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:24Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:20Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:16Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:12Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:10Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:09Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:08Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:05Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:04Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:01Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker02:25:00Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:56Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:52Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:51Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:50Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:49Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:45Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:44Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:40Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:38Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:36Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:32Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:31Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:28Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:25Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:24Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:23Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:22Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:21Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:20Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:16Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:15Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:13Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:12Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:08Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:06Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:04Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:02Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker02:24:00Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:56Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:52Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:51Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:49Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:48Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:44Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:42Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:41Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:40Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:36Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:35Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:34Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:33Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:32Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:30Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:28Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:23Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:22Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:20Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:18Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:16Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:12Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:10Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:09Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:08Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:05Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:04Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:02Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:01Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker02:23:00Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:59Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:56Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:53Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:52Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:49Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:48Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:47Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:46Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:45Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:44Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:42Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:40Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:38Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:37Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:36Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:33Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:32Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:30Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:28Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:27Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:26Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:24Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:23Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:20Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:18Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:16Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:14Caption #-49
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:13Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:12Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:11Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:09Caption #971
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:08Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:04Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:03Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:22:00Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:59Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:56Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:53Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:52Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:50Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:49Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:48Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:46Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:44Caption #-5
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:43Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:42Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:41Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:40Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:38Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:37Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:36Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:32Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:30Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:28Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:27Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:25Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:24Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:23Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:20Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:16Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:12Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:08Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:04Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker02:21:00Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:56Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:54Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker02:20:52Caption #554

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post