[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 234 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:14Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:13Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:12Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:11Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:10Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:09Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:08Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker15:10:05Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:56Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:54Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:53Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:50Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:46Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:43Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:40Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:38Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:29Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:28Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:27Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:26Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:25Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:25Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:23Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:21Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:19Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:15Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:14Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:11Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:08Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:07Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:04Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:01Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker15:09:00Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:59Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:58Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:53Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:51Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:50Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:48Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:41Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:33Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:26Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:24Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:21Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:19Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:18Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:12Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:11Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:09Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:08Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker15:08:00Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:57Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:52Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:51Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:46Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:45Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:43Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:29Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:27Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:20Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:19Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:18Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:17Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:16Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:13Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:12Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:10Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:09Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:04Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:03Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:02Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker15:07:00Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:58Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:53Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:50Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:48Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:47Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:45Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:40Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:37Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:32Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:31Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:29Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:21Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:17Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:16Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:13Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:10Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:05Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:04Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:01Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker15:06:00Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:53Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:51Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:43Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:42Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:40Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:39Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:37Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:36Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:35Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:33Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:31Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:26Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:25Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:24Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:23Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:22Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:19Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:18Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:13Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:11Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:02Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:01Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:00Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:57Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:56Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:55Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:54Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:51Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:50Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:49Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:48Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:47Caption #966
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:46Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:44Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:38Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:34Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:33Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:29Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:28Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:22Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:15Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:14Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:12Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:10Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:09Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:08Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:07Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:02Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:00Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:57Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:56Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:54Caption #953
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:53Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:52Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:51Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:47Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:43Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:42Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:41Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:40Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:33Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:27Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:21Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:20Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:19Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:18Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:17Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:15Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:06Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:04Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:03Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:00Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:53Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:50Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:49Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:48Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:47Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:45Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:43Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:42Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:39Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:35Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:34Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:32Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:31Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:30Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:27Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:26Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:23Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:22Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:19Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:18Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:12Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:08Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:03Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:02Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:00Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:58Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:57Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:54Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:53Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:45Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:44Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:41Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:39Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:34Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:33Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:29Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:25Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:23Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:20Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:19Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:11Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:10Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:09Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:08Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:05Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:01Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:57Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:56Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:54Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:53Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:52Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:50Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:49Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:48Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:43Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:42Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:39Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:36Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:35Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:34Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:29Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:27Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:26Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:25Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:23Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:22Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:19Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:17Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:15Caption #322

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post