[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 287 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:13Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:12Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:08Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:06Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker12:03:03Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:59Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:55Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:54Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:51Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:46Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:45Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:38Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:37Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:32Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:31Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:29Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:28Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:27Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:26Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:25Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:24Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:23Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:19Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:17Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:16Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker12:02:02Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:55Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:54Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:53Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:47Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:46Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:45Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:44Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:43Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:42Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:41Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:40Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:39Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:37Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:34Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:33Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:32Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:31Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:30Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:29Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:28Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:27Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:26Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:25Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:20Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:14Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:13Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:12Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:11Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:10Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:09Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:06Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:05Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker12:01:04Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:59Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:58Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:57Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:56Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:55Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:54Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:53Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:52Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:51Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:50Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:49Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:44Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:41Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:38Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:37Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:31Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:30Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:26Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:24Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:22Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:21Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:19Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:10Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:08Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:07Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker12:00:04Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:56Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:55Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:54Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:53Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:52Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:51Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:39Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:35Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:34Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:31Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:30Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:29Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:28Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:27Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:26Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:25Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:24Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:21Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:20Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:19Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:18Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:17Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:16Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:15Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:12Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:11Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:10Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:09Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:08Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:07Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:04Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:03Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:02Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:01Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:00Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:59Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:58Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:57Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:56Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:53Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:51Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:50Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:45Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:44Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:43Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:42Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:41Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:40Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:36Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:29Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:23Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:21Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:18Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:14Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:08Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:02Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker11:58:00Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:57Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:55Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:46Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:45Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:37Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:32Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:30Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:29Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:28Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:27Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:26Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:25Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:22Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:21Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:20Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:19Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:18Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:17Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:15Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:14Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:13Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:12Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:11Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:07Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:03Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker11:57:02Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:56Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:54Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:53Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:52Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:51Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:40Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:39Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:38Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:35Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:29Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:24Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:22Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:18Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:17Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:16Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:07Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:06Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:04Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:03Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:02Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker11:56:00Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:57Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:56Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:54Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:48Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:46Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:44Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:41Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:40Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:38Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:37Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:35Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:34Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:33Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:30Caption #-77
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:29Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:28Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:26Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:25Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:24Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:23Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:21Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:18Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:13Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:09Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:08Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:06Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:03Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:02Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:01Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:58Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:57Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:54Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:53Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:52Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:50Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:49Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:48Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:47Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:46Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:45Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:44Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:43Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:42Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:41Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:39Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:38Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:37Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:36Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:35Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:34Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:33Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:30Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:29Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:27Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:26Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:21Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:20Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:18Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:17Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:15Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:14Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:13Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:08Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker10:00:47Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:06Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:05Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:04Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:03Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:02Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:01Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:58Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:56Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:52Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:51Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:49Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:47Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:46Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:45Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:42Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:40Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:39Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:38Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:36Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:33Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:32Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:31Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:30Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:29Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:28Caption #969
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:27Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:24Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:20Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:19Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:17Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:16Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:15Caption #395

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post