[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 332 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:48Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:47Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:46Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:45Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:44Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:43Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:42Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:41Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:41Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:39Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:33Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:31Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:30Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:29Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:28Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:25Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:24Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:23Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:22Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:21Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:20Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:19Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:18Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:17Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:16Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:14Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:13Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:12Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:11Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:10Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:09Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:08Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:07Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:06Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:05Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:04Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:00Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:56Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:55Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:53Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:52Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:51Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:50Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:49Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:48Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:47Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:46Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:45Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:44Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:43Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:42Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:40Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:39Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:38Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:37Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:36Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:35Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:34Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:33Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:32Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:31Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:28Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:23Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:21Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:20Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:19Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:18Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:17Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:16Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:15Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:14Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:13Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:11Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:06Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:05Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:04Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:03Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:02Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:01Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:00Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:59Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:58Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:57Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:56Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:55Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:54Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:53Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:52Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:51Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:50Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:49Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:48Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:47Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:46Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:45Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:44Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:43Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:42Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:41Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:40Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:39Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:38Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:37Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:36Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:35Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:31Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:29Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:25Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:20Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:19Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:17Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:14Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:10Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:07Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:06Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:05Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:01Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:00Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:59Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:58Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:57Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:56Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:55Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:54Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:53Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:52Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:51Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:50Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:49Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:48Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:47Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:46Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:45Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:44Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:43Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:42Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:40Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:39Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:38Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:37Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:36Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:35Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:34Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:33Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:32Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:31Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:30Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:29Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:28Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:27Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:25Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:24Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:20Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:19Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:18Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:14Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:12Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:11Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:06Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:05Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:04Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:03Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:02Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:01Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:00Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:59Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:55Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:54Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:52Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:51Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:50Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:48Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:47Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:46Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:44Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:43Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:42Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:41Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:40Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:39Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:38Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:37Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:33Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:31Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:30Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:29Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:28Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:26Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:23Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:18Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:17Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:16Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:15Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:13Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:11Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:10Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:09Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:08Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:07Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:05Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:04Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:03Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:02Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:01Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:58Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:54Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:52Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:51Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:49Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:47Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:45Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:44Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:43Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:42Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:41Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:39Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:36Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:33Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:32Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:31Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:30Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:28Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:25Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:24Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:21Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:20Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:19Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:18Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:16Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:15Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:12Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:11Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:10Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:06Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:05Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:04Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:03Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:02Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:01Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:00Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:59Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:55Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:54Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:52Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:51Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:50Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:48Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:46Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:45Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:44Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:42Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:39Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:38Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:36Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:31Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:29Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:28Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:27Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:26Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:25Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:24Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:22Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:21Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:20Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:19Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:18Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:17Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:14Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:12Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:11Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:10Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:07Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:06Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:05Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:04Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:03Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:02Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:01Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:59Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:57Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:56Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:55Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:54Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:53Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:52Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:50Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:47Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:44Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:43Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:42Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:41Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:40Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:39Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:38Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:37Caption #-49
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:36Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:33Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:32Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:31Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:30Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:29Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:28Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:27Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:25Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:23Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:22Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:21Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:20Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:19Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:18Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:16Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:13Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:08Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:07Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:06Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:04Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:03Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:02Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker01:22:01Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:59Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:58Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:57Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:55Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:54Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:53Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:50Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:49Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker01:21:48Caption #629

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post