[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 280 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:46Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:45Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:40Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:39Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:37Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:35Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:34Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:31Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:30Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:29Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:28Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:27Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:25Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:23Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:19Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:18Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:15Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:14Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:13Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:12Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:11Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:09Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:08Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:06Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:04Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker03:08:01Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:58Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:57Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:54Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:53Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:48Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:47Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:46Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:43Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:41Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:39Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:37Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:36Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:35Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:28Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:27Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:24Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:22Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:20Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:19Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:18Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:11Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:10Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:09Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:07Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:06Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:04Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:02Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker03:07:00Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:58Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:54Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:53Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:52Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:51Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:50Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:43Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:42Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:39Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:35Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:34Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:31Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:29Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:24Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:22Caption #934
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:20Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:19Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:16Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:15Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:12Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:11Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:10Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:09Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:06Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:05Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:04Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:03Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:02Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker03:06:00Caption #-13
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:57Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:52Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:51Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:50Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:48Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:46Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:45Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:43Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:39Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:38Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:37Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:33Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:31Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:30Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:29Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:28Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:24Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:22Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:21Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:20Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:19Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:15Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:13Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:12Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:11Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:10Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:04Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:01Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:00Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:59Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:56Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:55Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:53Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:52Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:49Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:48Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:43Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:40Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:39Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:36Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:35Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:34Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:33Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:32Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:30Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:29Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:27Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:26Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:25Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:24Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:22Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:21Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:21Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:18Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:17Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:16Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:15Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:13Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:12Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:07Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:06Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:05Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:04Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:02Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:01Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:00Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:55Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:54Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:53Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:50Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:48Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:43Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:42Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:41Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:38Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:36Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:35Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:32Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:25Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:24Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:22Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:21Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:17Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:12Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:11Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:08Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:06Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:00Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:56Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:53Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:49Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:48Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:43Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:41Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:40Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:37Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:36Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:34Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:33Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:31Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:28Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:22Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:21Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:20Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:17Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:14Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:12Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:11Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:10Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:07Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:03Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:59Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:57Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:55Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:54Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:51Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:47Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:46Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:43Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:39Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:37Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:29Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:24Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:22Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:21Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:20Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:19Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:14Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:07Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:04Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:02Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:01Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:59Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:56Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:55Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:53Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:51Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:50Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:43Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:40Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:39Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:38Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:36Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:33Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:32Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:29Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:26Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:25Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:23Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:21Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:20Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:19Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:18Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:17Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:16Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:11Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:10Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:08Caption #905
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:05Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:03Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:00Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:58Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:55Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:52Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:50Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:49Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:47Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:42Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:40Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:39Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:36Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:35Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:34Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:33Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:31Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:27Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:24Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:23Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:22Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:21Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:20Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:19Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:18Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:14Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:13Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:12Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:11Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:09Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:06Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:05Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:03Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:57Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:56Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:55Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:52Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:50Caption #808

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post