[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 334 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:31Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:30Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:28Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:26Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:25Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:24Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:23Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:22Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:21Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:20Caption #918
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:17Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:16Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:14Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:13Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:09Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:08Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:07Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:06Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:05Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:04Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:03Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:02Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:01Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker20:38:00Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:58Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:57Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:56Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:52Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:48Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:47Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:44Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:43Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:42Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:41Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:39Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:38Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:37Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:36Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:35Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:34Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:33Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:32Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:31Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:30Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:29Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:28Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:27Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:26Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:25Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:24Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:23Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:22Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:21Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:20Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:19Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:18Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:16Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:15Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:13Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:11Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:09Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:08Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:04Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:01Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker20:37:00Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:59Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:57Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:56Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:55Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:53Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:52Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:51Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:50Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:49Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:48Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:47Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:46Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:45Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:44Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:43Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:42Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:41Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:40Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:39Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:36Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:32Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:29Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:28Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:24Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:22Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:20Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:19Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:17Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:12Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:11Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:10Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:09Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:05Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker20:36:00Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:59Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:56Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:53Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:49Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:48Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:47Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:46Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:45Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:44Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:41Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:40Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:36Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:35Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:34Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:33Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:29Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:24Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:21Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:20Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:19Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:18Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:17Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:16Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:15Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:14Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:13Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:12Caption #953
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:09Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:07Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:06Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:05Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:04Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:03Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:02Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker20:35:00Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:57Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:53Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:52Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:51Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:50Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:49Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:48Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:47Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:46Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:45Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:44Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:43Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:42Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:41Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:40Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:36Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:34Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:32Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:28Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:24Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:21Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:20Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:19Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:18Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:17Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:16Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:15Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:13Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:12Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:10Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:09Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:04Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker20:34:00Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:56Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:53Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:51Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:49Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:48Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:45Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:42Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:40Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:36Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:34Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:33Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:32Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:31Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:30Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:29Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:28Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:25Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:20Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:17Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:13Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:12Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:11Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:10Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:09Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:08Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:07Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:06Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:05Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:04Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:03Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:02Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:01Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker20:33:00Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:56Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:54Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:53Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:52Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:49Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:44Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:41Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:36Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:34Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:29Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:26Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:25Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:24Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:23Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:22Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:21Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:20Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:18Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:17Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:12Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:09Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:05Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker20:32:00Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:57Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:56Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:54Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:51Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:48Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:47Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:45Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:44Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:43Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:42Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:41Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:40Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:39Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:37Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:35Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:33Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:29Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:28Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:27Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:26Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:24Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:21Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:19Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:18Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:17Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:16Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:14Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:12Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:10Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:09Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:08Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:07Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:06Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:05Caption #-65
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:04Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:03Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker20:31:01Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:58Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:56Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:54Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:53Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:51Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:48Caption #959
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:47Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:46Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:45Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:42Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:41Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:40Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:39Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:37Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:35Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:33Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:32Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:29Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:28Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:27Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:26Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:24Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:23Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:22Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:21Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:20Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:17Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:16Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:12Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:10Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:08Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:07Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:06Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:05Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:01Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:00Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:58Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:57Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:56Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:55Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:52Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:49Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:48Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:47Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:45Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:44Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:41Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:37Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:33Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:32Caption #972
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:29Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:24Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:21Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:20Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:17Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:15Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:10Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:09Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:05Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:01Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:56Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:55Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:54Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:53Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:52Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:50Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:49Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:44Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:43Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:42Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:41Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:36Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:34Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:33Caption #822

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post