[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 286 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:42Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:41Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:40Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:39Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:38Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:37Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:36Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:35Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:34Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:33Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:32Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:30Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:28Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:26Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:25Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:23Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:22Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:19Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:16Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:14Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:13Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:08Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:07Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker17:47:00Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:58Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:56Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:54Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:49Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:48Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:45Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:42Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:35Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:32Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:20Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:19Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:17Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:16Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:15Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:14Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:13Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:12Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:10Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:09Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:05Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:04Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:03Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:59Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:57Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:55Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:53Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:52Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:51Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:49Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:48Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:47Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:44Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:41Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:34Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:30Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:29Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:27Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:26Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:19Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:15Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:13Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:12Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:10Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:09Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:02Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:01Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:00Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:59Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:58Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:57Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:56Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:55Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:49Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:48Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:46Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:44Caption #949
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:43Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:41Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:40Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:34Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:32Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:27Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:21Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:20Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:18Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:17Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:16Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:15Caption #-29
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:13Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:10Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:09Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:08Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:07Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:05Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:04Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:03Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:59Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:57Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:53Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:52Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:50Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:46Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:45Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:44Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:43Caption #-29
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:42Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:38Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:37Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:36Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:34Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:33Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:31Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:29Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:28Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:27Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:25Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:24Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:19Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:18Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:17Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:16Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:14Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:12Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:10Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:09Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:08Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:07Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:05Caption #-54
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:04Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:59Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:57Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:54Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:53Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:52Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:49Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:48Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:45Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:42Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:39Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:38Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:30Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:29Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:28Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:25Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:24Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:18Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:15Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:10Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:09Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:08Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:07Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:06Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:04Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:03Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:02Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:01Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:00Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:57Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:53Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:50Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:49Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:48Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:47Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:46Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:44Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:43Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:42Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:41Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:38Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:30Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:26Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:24Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:23Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:22Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:21Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:20Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:17Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:16Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:15Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:14Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:13Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:12Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:10Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:09Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:05Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:02Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:01Caption #-40
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:00Caption #-50
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:56Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:55Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:51Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:50Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:49Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:48Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:43Caption #970
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:40Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:39Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:38Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:37Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:35Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:34Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:33Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:31Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:30Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:26Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:25Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:24Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:22Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:21Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:20Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:19Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:18Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:17Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:16Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:08Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:07Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:56Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:52Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:49Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:46Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:43Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:40Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:39Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:38Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:35Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:34Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:32Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:29Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:28Caption #973
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:26Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:24Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:22Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:20Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:19Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:18Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:17Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:16Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:15Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:13Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:10Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:09Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:08Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:07Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:04Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:03Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:59Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:53Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:50Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:48Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:47Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:44Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:42Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:33Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:32Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:29Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:27Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:25Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:22Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:19Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:14Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:13Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:11Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:09Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:07Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:06Caption #-33
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:05Caption #-28
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:04Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:03Caption #-13
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:02Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:01Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:00Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:59Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:58Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:57Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:56Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:55Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:54Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:49Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:47Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:46Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:45Caption #443

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post