[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 139 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:08Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:07Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:06Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:05Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:04Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:03Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:02Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:01Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker16:14:00Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:59Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:58Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:57Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:56Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:55Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:54Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:53Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:52Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:51Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:50Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:49Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:48Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:47Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:46Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:45Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:44Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:43Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:42Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:41Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:40Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:39Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:38Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:37Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:36Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:35Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:34Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:33Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:32Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:31Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:30Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:29Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:28Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:27Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:26Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:25Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:24Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:23Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:22Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:21Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:20Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:19Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:18Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:17Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:16Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:15Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:14Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:13Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:12Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:11Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:10Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:09Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:08Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:07Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:06Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:05Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:04Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:03Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:02Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:01Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker16:13:00Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:59Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:58Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:57Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:56Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:55Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:54Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:53Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:52Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:51Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:50Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:49Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:48Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:47Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:46Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:45Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:44Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:43Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:42Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:41Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:40Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:39Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:38Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:37Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:36Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:35Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:34Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:33Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:32Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:31Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:30Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:29Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:28Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:27Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:26Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:25Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:24Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:23Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:22Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:21Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:20Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:19Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:18Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:17Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:16Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:15Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:14Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:13Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:12Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:11Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:10Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:09Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:08Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:07Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:06Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:05Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:04Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:03Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:02Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:01Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker16:12:00Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:59Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:58Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:57Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:56Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:55Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:54Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:53Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:52Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:51Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker16:11:50Caption #444

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post