[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 381 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:08Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:07Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:06Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:05Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:04Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:03Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:02Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:01Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker11:33:00Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:59Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:58Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:57Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:56Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:55Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:54Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:53Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:52Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:48Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:47Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:46Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:45Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:44Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:43Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:42Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:41Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:40Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:39Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:38Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:37Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:36Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:35Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:34Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:34Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:33Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:31Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:30Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:29Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:28Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:27Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:26Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:22Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:20Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:19Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:17Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:15Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:14Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:13Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:12Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:11Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:10Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:09Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:08Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:07Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:06Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:05Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:04Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:03Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:02Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:01Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:00Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker11:32:00Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:57Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:55Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:54Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:52Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:46Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:45Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:41Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:39Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:38Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:37Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:34Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:29Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:27Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:24Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:21Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:20Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:19Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:18Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:17Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:16Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:15Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:14Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:13Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:12Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:11Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:10Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:09Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:08Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:07Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:06Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:05Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:04Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:03Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker11:31:02Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:58Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:57Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:56Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:54Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:53Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:52Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:49Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:47Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:46Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:46Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:44Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:43Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:42Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:41Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:40Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:39Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:38Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:37Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:36Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:35Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:34Caption #-58
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:33Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:32Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:31Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:30Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:29Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:28Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:27Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:26Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:25Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:24Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:23Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:22Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:21Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:20Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:19Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:18Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:17Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:16Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:15Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:14Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:13Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:09Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:08Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:07Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:06Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker11:30:00Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:58Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:57Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:55Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:54Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:51Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:50Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:48Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:47Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:44Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:43Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:42Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:41Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:40Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:39Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:34Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:33Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:31Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:30Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:29Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:28Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:27Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:26Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:24Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:20Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:18Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:16Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:14Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:13Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:12Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:11Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:09Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:08Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:05Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:02Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker11:29:00Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:59Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:57Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:55Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:54Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:53Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:52Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:49Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:48Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:47Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:44Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:43Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:42Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:41Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:40Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:39Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:38Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:37Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:36Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:34Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:33Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:32Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:30Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:28Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:25Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:23Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:21Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:17Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:12Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:11Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:10Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:09Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:06Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:05Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:04Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:02Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:28:00Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:58Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:57Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:56Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:55Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:54Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:53Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:51Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:50Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:48Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:46Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:45Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:44Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:43Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:40Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:39Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:38Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:37Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:34Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:33Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:31Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:30Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:28Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:27Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:26Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:23Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:22Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:21Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:20Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:18Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:12Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:10Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:09Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:08Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:04Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:02Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:01Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker11:27:00Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:59Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:57Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:56Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:55Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:51Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:49Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:48Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:44Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:43Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:41Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:40Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:39Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:38Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:37Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:32Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:30Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:29Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:28Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:26Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:25Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:24Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:23Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:21Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:18Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:17Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:15Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:14Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:13Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:12Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:10Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:09Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:07Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:06Caption #955
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:05Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:04Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:03Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker11:26:01Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:59Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:56Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:54Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:53Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:51Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:50Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:49Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:48Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:46Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:45Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:44Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:43Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:42Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:40Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:39Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:37Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:36Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:35Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:33Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:30Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:29Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:28Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:27Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:25Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:24Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:22Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:19Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:18Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:17Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:16Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:11Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:07Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:06Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:05Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:03Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:01Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker11:25:00Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:59Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:58Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:57Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:55Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:53Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:52Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:47Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:43Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:41Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:40Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:38Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:37Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:36Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:33Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:32Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:30Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:28Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:23Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:22Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:20Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:19Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:16Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:15Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:13Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:12Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:09Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:08Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:07Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:06Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:04Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker11:24:03Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:59Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:58Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:57Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:56Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:55Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:54Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:51Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:48Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:47Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:43Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:42Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:41Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:40Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:37Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:36Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:32Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:31Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:28Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:24Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:23Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:22Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:16Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:15Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:13Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:23:12Caption #59

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.


There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post