[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 363 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:47Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:45Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:44Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:43Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:42Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:41Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:38Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:37Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:36Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:34Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:33Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:30Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:25Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:22Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:19Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:18Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:16Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:15Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:14Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:12Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:01Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:00Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:58Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:57Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:54Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:52Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:51Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:49Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:47Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:46Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:44Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:43Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:42Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:40Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:39Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:38Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:37Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:35Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:34Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:30Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:29Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:27Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:26Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:25Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:24Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:22Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:20Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:19Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:18Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:16Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:14Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:13Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:12Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:11Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:08Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:07Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:06Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:02Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:01Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:00Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:59Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:56Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:49Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:48Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:47Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:46Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:43Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:39Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:38Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:36Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:34Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:33Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:32Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:30Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:29Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:28Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:24Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:23Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:21Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:19Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:18Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:17Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:16Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:13Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:12Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:09Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:08Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:07Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:06Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:06Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:04Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:03Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:02Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:01Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:59Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:58Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:57Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:56Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:54Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:53Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:52Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:49Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:48Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:47Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:46Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:45Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:44Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:43Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:39Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:38Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:37Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:35Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:34Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:33Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:31Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:28Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:27Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:26Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:24Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:23Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:19Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:18Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:16Caption #-18
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:15Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:12Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:11Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:05Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:04Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:03Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:01Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:59Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:54Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:49Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:48Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:45Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:43Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:42Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:41Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:38Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:37Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:35Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:34Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:33Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:31Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:28Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:27Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:25Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:24Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:19Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:17Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:16Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:13Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:11Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:10Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:09Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:08Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:07Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:05Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:01Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:00Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:59Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:58Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:57Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:56Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:55Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:52Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:46Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:45Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:43Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:37Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:36Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:34Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:31Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:29Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:28Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:27Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:25Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:24Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:20Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:18Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:16Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:15Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:14Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:13Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:11Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:10Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:07Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:02Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:01Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:00Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:59Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:56Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:55Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:51Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:49Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:47Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:46Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:45Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:44Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:43Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:40Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:39Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:36Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:35Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:34Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:33Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:31Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:29Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:28Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:27Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:22Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:20Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:19Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:18Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:16Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:15Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:11Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:08Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:06Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:05Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:02Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:00Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:58Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:57Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:56Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:53Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:52Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:51Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:47Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:46Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:44Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:43Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:42Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:39Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:38Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:37Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:34Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:33Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:31Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:28Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:27Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:26Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:22Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:21Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:20Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:19Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:18Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:17Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:16Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:15Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:14Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:13Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:12Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:10Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:08Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:07Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:06Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:05Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:04Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:03Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:02Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:01Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:00Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:57Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:56Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:55Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:54Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:53Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:51Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:50Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:48Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:45Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:43Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:42Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:39Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:33Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:32Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:31Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:30Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:29Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:26Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:25Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:24Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:22Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:18Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:17Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:16Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:15Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:14Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:13Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:11Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:07Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:06Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:05Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:04Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:03Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:01Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:59Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:58Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:57Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:55Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:54Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:53Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:52Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:51Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:50Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:47Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:46Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:45Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:44Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:43Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:42Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:41Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:38Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:37Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:36Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:35Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:34Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:33Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:32Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:31Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:30Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:29Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:28Caption #-57
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:27Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:25Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:24Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:23Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:22Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:21Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:20Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:19Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:18Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:17Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:16Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:15Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:14Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:13Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:12Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:11Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:10Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:08Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:07Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:06Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:05Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:04Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:03Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:02Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:01Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:00Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:59Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:58Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:57Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:56Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:55Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:54Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:53Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:52Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:50Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:49Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:48Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:47Caption #782

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.


There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post