[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 313 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:13Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:12Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:11Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:08Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:07Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:06Caption #-64
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:05Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:03Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:01Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker11:55:00Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:57Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:55Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:54Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:53Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:50Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:43Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:41Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:40Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:38Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:35Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:31Caption #-40
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:30Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:29Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:27Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:21Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:16Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:13Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:12Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:11Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:10Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:09Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:07Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:06Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker11:54:03Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:58Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:53Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:52Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:48Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:47Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:46Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:44Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:43Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:42Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:38Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:37Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:34Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:29Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:27Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:25Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:24Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:23Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:22Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:21Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:19Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:17Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:16Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:15Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:14Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:13Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:12Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:10Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:07Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:03Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:02Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker11:53:01Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:59Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:56Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:54Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:49Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:48Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:42Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:41Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:40Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:33Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:32Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:27Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:26Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:24Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:21Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:20Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:19Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:18Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:17Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:14Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:06Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:05Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:04Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:03Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:02Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker11:52:01Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:58Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:56Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:52Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:46Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:45Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:40Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:39Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:35Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:34Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:33Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:32Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:25Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:20Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:19Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:16Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:15Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:14Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:11Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:10Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:09Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:07Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:06Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:05Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:04Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker11:51:01Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:59Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:58Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:57Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:56Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:55Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:54Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:53Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:51Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:49Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:45Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:44Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:38Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:37Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:35Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:34Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:33Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:32Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:27Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:20Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:18Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:17Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:16Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:15Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:14Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:13Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:12Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:11Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:10Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:09Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:08Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:07Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:06Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:05Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:04Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:03Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:02Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:01Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker11:50:00Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:59Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:58Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:57Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:56Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:55Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:53Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:52Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:51Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:50Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:48Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:46Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:45Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:43Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:41Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:40Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:39Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:36Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:32Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:31Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:29Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:28Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:27Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:26Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:24Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:22Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:17Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:15Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:12Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:11Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:10Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:09Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:08Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:07Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:06Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:05Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:04Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:03Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:02Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:01Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker11:49:00Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:59Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:58Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:57Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:56Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:55Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:54Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:53Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:52Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:51Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:50Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:49Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:48Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:47Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:46Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:45Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:44Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:43Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:42Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:41Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:40Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:39Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:38Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:37Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:36Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:35Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:34Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:33Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:32Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:31Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:30Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:29Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:28Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:27Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:26Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:25Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:23Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:22Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:20Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:19Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:18Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:17Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:14Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:12Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:09Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:08Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:05Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:02Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker11:48:00Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:56Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:55Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:54Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:52Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:50Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:49Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:42Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:40Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:39Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:37Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:36Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:35Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:34Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:32Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:31Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:30Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:27Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:24Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:15Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:14Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:13Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:12Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:11Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:08Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:07Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:06Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:05Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:04Caption #-47
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:03Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker11:47:02Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:58Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:54Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:51Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:43Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:38Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:36Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:32Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:27Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:24Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:22Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:20Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:19Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:16Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:15Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:14Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:11Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:10Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker11:46:09Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:57Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:54Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:53Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:52Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:51Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:50Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:49Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:44Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:42Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:41Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:40Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:36Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:30Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:29Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:26Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:25Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:23Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:22Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:21Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:20Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:16Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:15Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:14Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker11:45:13Caption #325

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post