Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"

(AFP)

(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 208 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:37 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:36 Caption #601

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:35 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:34 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:33 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:32 Caption #476

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:31 Caption #770

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:29 Caption #259

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:26 Caption #754

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:21 Caption #699

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:18 Caption #652

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:17 Caption #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:14 Caption #835

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:13 Caption #715

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:12 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:11 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:09 Caption #415

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:08 Caption #868

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:06 Caption #801

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:04 Caption #512

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:03 Caption #231

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:02 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:16:01 Caption #542

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:59 Caption #-51

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:58 Caption #669

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:57 Caption #-19

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:56 Caption #-20

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:53 Caption #-23

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:50 Caption #579

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:49 Caption #345

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:46 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:45 Caption #685

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:42 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:39 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:38 Caption #-11

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:37 Caption #769

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:36 Caption #-18

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:35 Caption #-11

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:34 Caption #669

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:33 Caption #929

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:31 Caption #-6

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:30 Caption #669

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:29 Caption #247

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:28 Caption #-65

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:27 Caption #-56

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:26 Caption #356

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:25 Caption #374

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:23 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:22 Caption #286

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:21 Caption #755

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:20 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:18 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:15 Caption #901

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:13 Caption #235

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:11 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:09 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:07 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:06 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:02 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:15:01 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:58 Caption #678

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:57 Caption #475

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:56 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:55 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:54 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:53 Caption #129

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:52 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:50 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:49 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:48 Caption #-63

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:47 Caption #-68

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:46 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:45 Caption #-16

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:43 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:42 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:39 Caption #187

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:38 Caption #688

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:36 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:33 Caption #587

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:29 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:26 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:25 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:21 Caption #148

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:20 Caption #725

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:17 Caption #709

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:15 Caption #332

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:14 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:13 Caption #306

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:12 Caption #675

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:11 Caption #-70

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:10 Caption #-53

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:09 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:08 Caption #946

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:07 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:06 Caption #868

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:14:01 Caption #454

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:58 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:56 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:55 Caption #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:54 Caption #-36

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:53 Caption #195

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:52 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:51 Caption #-5

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:50 Caption #-8

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:49 Caption #712

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:47 Caption #750

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:46 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:45 Caption #494

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:44 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:42 Caption #44

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:41 Caption #881

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:40 Caption #300

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:39 Caption #759

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:38 Caption #-8

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:37 Caption #658

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:36 Caption #851

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:35 Caption #463

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:34 Caption #288

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:31 Caption #250

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:29 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:28 Caption #555

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:25 Caption #940

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:23 Caption #656

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:21 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:17 Caption #649

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:14 Caption #474

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:13 Caption #195

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:12 Caption #304

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:11 Caption #550

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:10 Caption #684

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:09 Caption #23

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:08 Caption #803

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:07 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:05 Caption #602

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:04 Caption #421

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:02 Caption #584

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:13:01 Caption #252

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:57 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:55 Caption #587

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:53 Caption #147

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:49 Caption #218

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:47 Caption #75

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:46 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:41 Caption #135

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:40 Caption #983

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:38 Caption #466

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:37 Caption #397

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:36 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:33 Caption #815

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:32 Caption #597

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:29 Caption #628

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:28 Caption #544

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:27 Caption #851

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:26 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:25 Caption #116

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:24 Caption #550

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:23 Caption #466

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:21 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:19 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:18 Caption #566

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:17 Caption #780

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:16 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:15 Caption #729

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:14 Caption #469

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:13 Caption #536

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:09 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:06 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:05 Caption #73

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:03 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:02 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:12:01 Caption #374

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:58 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:57 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:56 Caption #695

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:55 Caption #431

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:54 Caption #658

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:53 Caption #449

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:52 Caption #374

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:51 Caption #463

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:50 Caption #670

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:49 Caption #509

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:47 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:46 Caption #217

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:44 Caption #219

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:43 Caption #18

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:42 Caption #27

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:37 Caption #427

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:36 Caption #547

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:35 Caption #490

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:34 Caption #465

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:33 Caption #316

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:32 Caption #159

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:30 Caption #90

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:27 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:25 Caption #85

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:22 Caption #17

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:12 Caption #152

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:10 Caption #590

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:08 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:07 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:06 Caption #393

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:11:05 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:10:53 Caption #398

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:10:50 Caption #521

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:10:49 Caption #684

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:10:48 Caption #851

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:10:47 Caption #322

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:10:46 Caption #442

Board

[Post Message]

I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.

<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.

<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.

<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!

<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!

<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.

<Mort> Pretty much.

<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.

<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work

<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post