[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 374 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:52Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:51Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:50Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:49Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:46Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:44Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:43Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:41Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:38Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:37Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:32Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:28Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:27Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:26Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:25Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:24Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:23Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:22Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:20Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:16Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:15Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:14Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:13Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:12Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:11Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:10Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:09Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:06Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:03Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker08:30:01Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:59Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:58Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:56Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:55Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:54Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:53Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:50Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:48Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:46Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:45Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:44Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:43Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:42Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:40Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:39Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:38Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:37Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:36Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:35Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:34Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:31Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:29Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:24Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:22Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:21Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:18Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:17Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:16Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:12Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:11Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:10Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:09Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:08Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:07Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:06Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:05Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:04Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:02Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:01Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker08:29:00Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:58Caption #-39
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:57Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:56Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:55Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:54Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:52Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:51Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:49Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:48Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:47Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:46Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:45Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:44Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:43Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:42Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:41Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:36Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:34Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:32Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:31Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:30Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:29Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:28Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:27Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:26Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:25Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:24Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:23Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:22Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:21Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:20Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:19Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:18Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:17Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:16Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:14Caption #-46
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:12Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:11Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:09Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:08Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:07Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:06Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:02Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:01Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker08:28:00Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:59Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:58Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:56Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:53Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:50Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:47Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:45Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:44Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:43Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:42Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:41Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:37Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:33Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:32Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:31Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:30Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:28Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:27Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:26Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:25Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:24Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:21Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:20Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:17Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:16Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:15Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:13Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:12Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:08Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:07Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:05Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:05Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:03Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker08:27:02Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:56Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:55Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:54Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:53Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:52Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:51Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:49Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:47Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:46Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:41Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:40Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:35Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:34Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:33Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:32Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:31Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:29Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:28Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:27Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:25Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:24Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:23Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:21Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:19Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:16Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:13Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:12Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:11Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:10Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:09Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:08Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:06Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:04Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:01Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker08:26:00Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:56Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:55Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:52Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:48Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:41Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:40Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:32Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:28Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:27Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:22Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:16Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:11Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:10Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:07Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:04Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:03Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:02Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker08:25:01Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:58Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:52Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:51Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:50Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:49Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:46Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:37Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:36Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:35Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:34Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:33Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:32Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:31Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:26Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:23Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:22Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:21Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:20Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:19Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:14Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:12Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:08Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:07Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:06Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:05Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:04Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:03Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:02Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:01Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker08:24:00Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:59Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:58Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:57Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:56Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:55Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:54Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:53Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:52Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:50Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:49Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:47Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:44Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:41Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:37Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:36Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:31Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:26Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:25Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:22Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:21Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:20Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:18Caption #-45
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:17Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:16Caption #-21
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:15Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:13Caption #-78
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:12Caption #-43
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:11Caption #-35
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:10Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:09Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:08Caption #-50
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:07Caption #-23
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:06Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:05Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:04Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:02Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:01Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:00Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:59Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:58Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:57Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:56Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:55Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:54Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:53Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:52Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:51Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:50Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:49Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:48Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:47Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:46Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:45Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:44Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:43Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:42Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:41Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:40Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:39Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:36Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:34Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:33Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:32Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:31Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:30Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:29Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:28Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:27Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:26Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:25Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:24Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:23Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:22Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:21Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:20Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:19Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:18Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:17Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:16Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:15Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:14Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:13Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:12Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:11Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:10Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:09Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:08Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:07Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:06Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:04Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:02Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:01Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:00Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:59Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:58Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:57Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:56Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:55Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:54Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:53Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:52Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:51Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:50Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:49Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:47Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:45Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:43Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:42Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:40Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:35Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:34Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:33Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:32Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:31Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:30Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:29Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:28Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:27Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:26Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:25Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:24Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:23Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:22Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:21Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:19Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:18Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:16Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:11Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:10Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:09Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:06Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:01Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:59Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:57Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:56Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:55Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:54Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:53Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:52Caption #880

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.


There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post