[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 288 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:11Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:10Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:08Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:07Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:06Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:03Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:02Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:01Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker03:05:00Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:59Caption #-35
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:58Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:55Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:54Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:53Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:49Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:48Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:47Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:46Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:45Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:44Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:43Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:42Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:41Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:39Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:38Caption #905
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:37Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:32Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:28Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:27Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:26Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:25Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:24Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:23Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:22Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:21Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:18Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:17Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:15Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:14Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:13Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:12Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:11Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:10Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:09Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:08Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:07Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:02Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker03:04:01Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:58Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:57Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:56Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:54Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:51Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:47Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:46Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:43Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:42Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:40Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:39Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:38Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:37Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:35Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:34Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:33Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:32Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:31Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:30Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:29Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:28Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:27Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:26Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:25Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:24Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:22Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:20Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:19Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:18Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:17Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:16Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:15Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:14Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:13Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:12Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:11Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:10Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:09Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:08Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:07Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:06Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:04Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:02Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:01Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker03:03:00Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:59Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:58Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:57Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:46Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:45Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:44Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:42Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:41Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:40Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:39Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:38Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:37Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:36Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:35Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:34Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:33Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:30Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:29Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:28Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:25Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:23Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:19Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:18Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:17Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:16Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:15Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:14Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:11Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:10Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker03:02:08Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:55Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:51Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:47Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:46Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:45Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:44Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:43Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:42Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:41Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:40Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:36Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:35Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:34Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:33Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:32Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:31Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:30Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:15Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:09Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:08Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:07Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:06Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:05Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:04Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker03:01:03Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:54Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:49Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:48Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:47Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:46Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:45Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:44Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:43Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:37Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:26Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:25Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:24Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:23Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:22Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:21Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:20Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:19Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:18Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:17Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:16Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:15Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:14Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:13Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:10Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:09Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:08Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:07Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:06Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:05Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker03:00:04Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:57Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:56Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:55Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:54Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:53Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:52Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:51Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:43Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:40Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:37Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:35Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:23Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:19Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:13Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:12Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:11Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:10Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:09Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:08Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:07Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:06Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:05Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:04Caption #978
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:03Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:56Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:55Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:47Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:44Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:42Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:40Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:39Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:38Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:37Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:36Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:35Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:34Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:32Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:28Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:27Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:26Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:25Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:24Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:23Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:22Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:12Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:06Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:05Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:04Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:03Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:02Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:01Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:00Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:58Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:57Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:56Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:55Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:54Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:53Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:52Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:51Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:49Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:46Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:43Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:41Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:39Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:38Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:37Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:36Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:35Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:34Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:33Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:29Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:27Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:25Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:21Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:17Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:16Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:14Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:13Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:12Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:11Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:10Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:09Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:08Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:07Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:06Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:05Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:01Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:59Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:45Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:36Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:35Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:34Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:29Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:21Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:17Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:14Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:07Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:06Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:48Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:46Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:43Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:33Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:31Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:30Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:27Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:26Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:23Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:17Caption #89

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post