[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 249 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:32Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:31Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:30Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:29Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:28Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:27Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:22Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:16Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:15Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:13Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:12Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker17:46:03Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:58Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:52Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:48Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:44Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:43Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:41Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:40Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:36Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:31Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:24Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:20Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:08Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:05Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker17:45:04Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:58Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:57Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:56Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:55Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:54Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:53Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:49Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:46Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:39Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:29Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:27Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:24Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:20Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:18Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:16Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:14Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:13Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:12Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:10Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:08Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:06Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:04Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:03Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:02Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker17:44:01Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:58Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:57Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:53Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:45Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:36Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:30Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:22Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:14Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:12Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:09Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:05Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker17:43:04Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:56Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:55Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:40Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:38Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:36Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:35Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:32Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:29Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:28Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:27Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:25Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:24Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:22Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:18Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:17Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:09Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:01Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker17:42:00Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:59Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:58Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:57Caption #985
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:56Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:54Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:53Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:43Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:42Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:41Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:38Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:29Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:28Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:25Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:21Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:14Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:12Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:07Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:06Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker17:41:00Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:56Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:53Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:50Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:43Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:40Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:36Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:32Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:27Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:24Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:17Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:16Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:15Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:14Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:13Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:08Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:05Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:01Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker17:40:00Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:59Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:56Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:49Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:46Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:44Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:43Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:42Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:41Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:40Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:39Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:38Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:37Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:36Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:35Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:34Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:33Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:32Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:31Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:30Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:22Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:17Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:11Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:04Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:02Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:01Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker17:39:00Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:59Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:58Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:57Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:55Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:54Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:52Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:51Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:50Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:48Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:47Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:44Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:39Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:38Caption #972
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:35Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:34Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:32Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:31Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:30Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:27Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:25Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:23Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:19Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:17Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:15Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:11Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:09Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:08Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:07Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:06Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:05Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:04Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:03Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:02Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker17:38:00Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:59Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:55Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:51Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:47Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:45Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:44Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:43Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:42Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:41Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:40Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:39Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:38Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:37Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:35Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:31Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:29Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:28Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:27Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:26Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:25Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:24Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:23Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:22Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:21Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:20Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:19Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:18Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:17Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:16Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:15Caption #-81
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:14Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:13Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:12Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:11Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:10Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:08Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:07Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:06Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:05Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:04Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:03Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:02Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:01Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:00Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:59Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:57Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:56Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:55Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:54Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:53Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:51Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:50Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:49Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:48Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:47Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:46Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:45Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:44Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:43Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:42Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:41Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:39Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:38Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:37Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:36Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:35Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:34Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:33Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:32Caption #218

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post