[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 389 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:15Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:13Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:12Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:11Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:10Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:09Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:08Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:07Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:06Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:05Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:04Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:03Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:02Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:01Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker01:33:00Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:59Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:58Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:57Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:56Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:55Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:54Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:53Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:52Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:51Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:50Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:48Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:47Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:44Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:40Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:39Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:37Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:36Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:35Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:34Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:33Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:31Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:28Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:27Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:24Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:23Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:22Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:21Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:20Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:19Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:16Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:15Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:14Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:12Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:11Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:09Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:08Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:07Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:05Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:04Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:03Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:01Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker01:32:00Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:57Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:56Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:55Caption #972
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:54Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:52Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:51Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:50Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:49Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:48Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:47Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:46Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:45Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:44Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:41Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:40Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:39Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:38Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:37Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:36Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:35Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:33Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:32Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:31Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:30Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:29Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:28Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:27Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:25Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:24Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:23Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:22Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:20Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:17Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:16Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:14Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:13Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:12Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:11Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:10Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:08Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:04Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:02Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:01Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker01:31:00Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:58Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:57Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:56Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:55Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:54Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:53Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:52Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:51Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:50Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:49Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:48Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:47Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:45Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:44Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:42Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:40Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:38Caption #949
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:36Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:32Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:31Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:30Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:28Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:24Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:20Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:18Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:16Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:14Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:12Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:11Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:09Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:08Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:05Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:04Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker01:30:00Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:58Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:57Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:56Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:54Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:52Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:48Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:45Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:44Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:40Caption #-58
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:39Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:37Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:36Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:35Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:33Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:32Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:28Caption #-58
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:25Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:24Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:22Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:21Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:20Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:19Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:18Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:17Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:16Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:13Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:12Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:11Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:10Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:09Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:08Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:05Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:04Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker01:29:00Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:58Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:57Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:56Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:52Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:51Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:48Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:47Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:44Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:42Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:40Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:39Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:37Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:36Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:33Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:32Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:30Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:28Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:24Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:23Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:22Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:21Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:20Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:19Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:18Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:17Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:16Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:14Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:13Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:12Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:11Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:08Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:05Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:04Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:03Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:02Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:01Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker01:28:00Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:58Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:56Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:52Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:51Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:50Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:48Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:47Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:45Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:44Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:41Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:40Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:37Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:36Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:35Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:33Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:32Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:31Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:30Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:29Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:28Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:25Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:24Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:21Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:20Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:19Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:16Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:15Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:13Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:12Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:11Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:09Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:08Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:07Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:06Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:05Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:04Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:02Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:01Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker01:27:00Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:59Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:58Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:56Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:55Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:52Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:51Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:50Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:48Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:46Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:44Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:41Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:40Caption #994
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:37Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:36Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:32Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:31Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:28Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:25Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:24Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:23Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:22Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:21Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:20Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:19Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:18Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:16Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:15Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:13Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:12Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:10Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:09Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:08Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:07Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:04Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:03Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:02Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:01Caption #-79
Mr. NonameLurker01:26:00Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:58Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:56Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:52Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:50Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:48Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:44Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:40Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:39Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:36Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:35Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:34Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:33Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:32Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:31Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:30Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:28Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:27Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:26Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:25Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:24Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:23Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:22Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:21Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:20Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:16Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:15Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:12Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:10Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:08Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:07Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:05Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:04Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:03Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:02Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker01:25:00Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:59Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:58Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:56Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:55Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:52Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:50Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:49Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:48Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:47Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:45Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:44Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:43Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:42Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:41Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:40Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:39Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:38Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:37Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:36Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:34Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:33Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:32Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:30Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:29Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:28Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:26Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:24Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:20Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:19Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:18Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:16Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:15Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:14Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:12Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:08Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:07Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:05Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:04Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:01Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker01:24:00Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:59Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:58Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:56Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:54Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:53Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:52Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:50Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:48Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:47Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:44Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:43Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:42Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:41Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:40Caption #-66
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:39Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:37Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:36Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:34Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:32Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:31Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:30Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:29Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:28Caption #-27
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:24Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:22Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:21Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:20Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:18Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:16Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker01:23:15Caption #88

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post