[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 385 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:56Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:54Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:53Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:52Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:51Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:50Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:49Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:48Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:47Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:46Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:45Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:44Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:43Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:42Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:41Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:40Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:39Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:38Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:37Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:36Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:35Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:34Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:33Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:32Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:31Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:30Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:29Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:28Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:27Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:26Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:25Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:24Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:23Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:22Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:21Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:20Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:19Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:18Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:17Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:16Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:15Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:14Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:13Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:12Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:11Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:10Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:09Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:08Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:07Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:06Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:05Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:04Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:03Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:02Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:01Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker22:10:00Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:59Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:58Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:57Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:56Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:55Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:54Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:53Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:52Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:51Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:50Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:49Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:48Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:47Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:46Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:45Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:44Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:43Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:42Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:41Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:40Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:39Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:38Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:37Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:36Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:35Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:34Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:33Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:32Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:31Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:30Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:29Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:28Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:27Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:26Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:25Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:24Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:23Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:22Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:21Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:20Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:19Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:18Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:17Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:16Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:15Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:14Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:13Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:12Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:11Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:10Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:09Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:08Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:07Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:06Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:05Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:04Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:03Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:02Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:01Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker22:09:00Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:59Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:58Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:57Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:56Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:55Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:54Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:53Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:52Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:51Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:50Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:49Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:48Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:47Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:46Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:45Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:44Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:43Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:42Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:41Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:40Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:39Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:38Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:37Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:36Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:35Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:34Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:33Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:32Caption #934
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:31Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:30Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:29Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:28Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:27Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:26Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:25Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:24Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:23Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:22Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:21Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:20Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:19Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:18Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:17Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:16Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:15Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:14Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:13Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:12Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:11Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:10Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:09Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:08Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:07Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:06Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:05Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:04Caption #942
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:03Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:02Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:01Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker22:08:00Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:59Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:58Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:57Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:56Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:55Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:54Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:53Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:52Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:51Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:50Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:49Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:48Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:47Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:46Caption #942
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:45Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:44Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:43Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:42Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:41Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:40Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:39Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:38Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:37Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:36Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:35Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:34Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:33Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:32Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:31Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:30Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:29Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:28Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:27Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:26Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:25Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:24Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:23Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:22Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:21Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:20Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:19Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:18Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:17Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:16Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:15Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:14Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:13Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:12Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:11Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:10Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:09Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:08Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:07Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:06Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:05Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:04Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:03Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:02Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:01Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker22:07:00Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:59Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:58Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:57Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:56Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:55Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:54Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:53Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:52Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:51Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:50Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:49Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:48Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:47Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:46Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:45Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:44Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:43Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:42Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:41Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:40Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:39Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:38Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:37Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:36Caption #969
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:35Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:34Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:33Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:32Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:31Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:30Caption #955
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:29Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:28Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:27Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:26Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:25Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:24Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:23Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:22Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:21Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:20Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:19Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:18Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:17Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:16Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:15Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:14Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:13Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:12Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:11Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:10Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:09Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:08Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:07Caption #959
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:06Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:05Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:04Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:03Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:02Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:01Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker22:06:00Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:59Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:58Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:57Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:56Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:55Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:54Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:53Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:52Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:51Caption #978
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:50Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:49Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:48Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:47Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:46Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:45Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:44Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:43Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:42Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:41Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:40Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:39Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:38Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:37Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:36Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:35Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:34Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:33Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:32Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:31Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:30Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:29Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:28Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:27Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:26Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:25Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:24Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:23Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:22Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:21Caption #966
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:20Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:19Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:18Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:17Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:16Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:15Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:14Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:13Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:12Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:11Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:10Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:09Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:08Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:07Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:06Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:05Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:04Caption #969
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:03Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:02Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:01Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker22:05:00Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:59Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:58Caption #970
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:57Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:56Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:55Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:54Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:53Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:52Caption #971
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:51Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:50Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:49Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:48Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:47Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:46Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:45Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:44Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:43Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:42Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:41Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:40Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:40Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:39Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:38Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:37Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:36Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:35Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:34Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker22:04:33Caption #754

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post