[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 267 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:20Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:19Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:18Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:17Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:16Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:15Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:14Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:13Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:12Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:11Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:08Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker15:04:01Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:56Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:54Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:53Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:47Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:41Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:36Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:31Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:30Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:25Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:20Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:17Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:16Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:12Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:11Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:09Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:05Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:02Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:01Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker15:03:00Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:58Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:56Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:55Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:54Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:53Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:51Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:49Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:37Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:34Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:31Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:28Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:23Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:18Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:12Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:07Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:05Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:04Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:02Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker15:02:00Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:59Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:57Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:54Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:53Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:52Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:51Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:47Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:46Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:38Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:37Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:36Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:35Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:33Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:31Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:29Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:27Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:25Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:24Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:22Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:20Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:19Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:18Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:16Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:15Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:13Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:11Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:10Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:09Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:07Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:05Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:04Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:02Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker15:01:00Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:58Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:56Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:55Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:53Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:52Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:51Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:49Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:48Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:47Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:46Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:44Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:43Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:42Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:41Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:40Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:39Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:38Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:37Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:36Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:35Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:33Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:31Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:30Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:28Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:26Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:24Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:22Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:21Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:19Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:17Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:16Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:15Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:14Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:13Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:12Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:11Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:10Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:09Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:08Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:07Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:06Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:05Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:03Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:01Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker15:00:00Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:59Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:58Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:56Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:54Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:52Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:50Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:47Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:44Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:42Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:41Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:38Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:37Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:36Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:36Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:32Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:31Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:30Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:29Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:26Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:16Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:15Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:13Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:12Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:11Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:10Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:09Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:05Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker14:59:03Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:59Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:53Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:50Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:49Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:46Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:45Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:41Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:36Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:34Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:24Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:23Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:20Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:19Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:18Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:13Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:12Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:11Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:09Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:08Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:07Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:03Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:02Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:01Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker14:58:00Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:57Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:55Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:53Caption #955
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:49Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:47Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:44Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:35Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:31Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:28Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:27Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:26Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:22Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:19Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:13Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:12Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:11Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:08Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:07Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:06Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:05Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:04Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:03Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker14:57:02Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:54Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:53Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:52Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:46Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:45Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:44Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:41Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:37Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:36Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:31Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:30Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:29Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:28Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:26Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:25Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:23Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:16Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:15Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:14Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:11Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:10Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:09Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:06Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:05Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:04Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:02Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:01Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker14:56:00Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:53Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:49Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:48Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:47Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:46Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:44Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:39Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:38Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:37Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:32Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:31Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:30Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:28Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:23Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:17Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:04Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:03Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:02Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker14:55:00Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:55Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:47Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:45Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:41Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:37Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:36Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:35Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:32Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:31Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:30Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:28Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:26Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:22Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:21Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker14:54:20Caption #459

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post