[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 280 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:34Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:33Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:32Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:31Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:30Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:27Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:24Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:22Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:17Caption #-55
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:15Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:14Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:12Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:07Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:03Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker21:27:00Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:59Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:52Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:51Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:49Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:43Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:41Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:37Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:32Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:30Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:24Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:21Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:20Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:19Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:09Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:08Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:07Caption #955
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:05Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker21:26:03Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:59Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:54Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:52Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:51Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:50Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:49Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:48Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:47Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:46Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:45Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:44Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:43Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:42Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:41Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:40Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:39Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:38Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:37Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:36Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:35Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:34Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:33Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:32Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:31Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:30Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:29Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:28Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:27Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:25Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:24Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:22Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:20Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:18Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:14Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:13Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:12Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:11Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:10Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:08Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:04Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:03Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker21:25:01Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:59Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:57Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:55Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:53Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:52Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:49Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:46Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:42Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:41Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:40Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:38Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:36Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:35Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:34Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:31Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:30Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:27Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:23Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:21Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:19Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:17Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:15Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:13Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:11Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:09Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:06Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:02Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker21:24:01Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:59Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:58Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:57Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:55Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:52Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:50Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:46Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:45Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:41Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:40Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:38Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:37Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:31Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:28Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:23Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:21Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:20Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:15Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:14Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:13Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:11Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:09Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:07Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:05Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:02Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:01Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker21:23:00Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:58Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:57Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:51Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:49Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:47Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:42Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:38Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:37Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:34Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:33Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:32Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:29Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:28Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:26Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:20Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:19Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:14Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:13Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:12Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:11Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:09Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:07Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:06Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:05Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:03Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:02Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker21:22:01Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:59Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:55Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:53Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:52Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:51Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:48Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:47Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:39Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:37Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:36Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:34Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:30Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:29Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:26Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:25Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:24Caption #983
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:23Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:19Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:18Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:14Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:13Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:12Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:11Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:10Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:09Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:08Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:05Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:04Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker21:21:02Caption #-36
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:58Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:57Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:51Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:47Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:46Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:43Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:42Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:41Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:37Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:36Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:35Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:34Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:31Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:28Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:26Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:22Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:17Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:16Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:14Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:13Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:12Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:09Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:08Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:03Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:02Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:01Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker21:20:00Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:59Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:57Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:56Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:51Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:49Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:48Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:47Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:44Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:40Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:38Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:37Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:31Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:30Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:24Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:20Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:19Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:17Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:16Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:14Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:11Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:08Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:06Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:02Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker21:19:01Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:58Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:57Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:54Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:52Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:48Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:43Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:41Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:39Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:38Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:37Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:36Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:35Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:33Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:30Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:29Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:24Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:23Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:22Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:19Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:17Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:16Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:14Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:13Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:11Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:09Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:08Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:07Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:06Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:05Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker21:18:03Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:59Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:57Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:56Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:55Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:52Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:51Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:49Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:48Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:47Caption #-25
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:45Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:41Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker21:17:36Caption #759

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.

There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post