[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/01/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I was so nervous, this was the most important question I had ever asked her, so I sweetened her up by giving her a rose.

Then I distracted her by giving her five of the cutest kittens I could possibly find, as I knelt down on one knee.

It was then as she gazed at me with eyes full of love, that I popped the question.

"Can I sleep with your best friend?"
(AFP)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 375 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:32Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:31Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:30Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:29Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:28Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:27Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:26Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:23Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:21Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:18Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:17Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:15Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:14Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:12Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:08Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:07Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:06Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker02:59:04Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:59Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:55Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:53Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:52Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:49Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:48Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:46Caption #959
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:42Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:41Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:40Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:39Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:38Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:35Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:33Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:32Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:31Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:30Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:29Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:28Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:27Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:23Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:20Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:19Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:18Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:17Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:16Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:10Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:05Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:03Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker02:58:00Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:58Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:54Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:53Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:51Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:46Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:45Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:44Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:42Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:37Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:35Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:34Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:32Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:31Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:30Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:29Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:24Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:23Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:22Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:18Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:13Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:12Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:10Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:09Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:06Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:05Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:03Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:02Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker02:57:00Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:59Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:58Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:57Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:56Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:55Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:54Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:50Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:48Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:47Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:45Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:44Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:43Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:42Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:40Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:39Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:38Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:37Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:35Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:33Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:32Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:31Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:30Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:29Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:28Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:27Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:26Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:25Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:23Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:20Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:19Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:18Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:17Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:15Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:14Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:13Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:10Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:09Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:08Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:07Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:06Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:04Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker02:56:00Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:58Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:57Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:56Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:54Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:52Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:51Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:50Caption #971
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:48Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:47Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:46Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:44Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:43Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:41Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:40Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:34Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:31Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:30Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:29Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:25Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:22Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:21Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:18Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:17Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:16Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:15Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:14Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:13Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:12Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:10Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:09Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:07Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker02:55:04Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:58Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:54Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:53Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:50Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:48Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:47Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:45Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:40Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:39Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:38Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:37Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:36Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:33Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:30Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:26Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:24Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:23Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:22Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:21Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:20Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:17Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:16Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:14Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:13Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:12Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:11Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:10Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:08Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:07Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:02Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker02:54:00Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:59Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:56Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:53Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:52Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:50Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:47Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:46Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:45Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:44Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:43Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:38Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:36Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:34Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:31Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:26Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:24Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:22Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:21Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:19Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:16Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:13Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:12Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:09Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:08Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:07Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:06Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:05Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:04Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:03Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:02Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:01Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker02:53:00Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:59Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:58Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:56Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:55Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:54Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:53Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:52Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:51Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:50Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:49Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:48Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:47Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:46Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:44Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:42Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:41Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:40Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:39Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:38Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:37Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:36Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:35Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:34Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:33Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:32Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:28Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:25Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:24Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:23Caption #-27
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:20Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:16Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:14Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:12Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:10Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:08Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:07Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:06Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:05Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:04Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:03Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:02Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:01Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker02:52:00Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:59Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:58Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:56Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:55Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:52Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:51Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:50Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:48Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:45Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:44Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:43Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:40Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:38Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:37Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:36Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:35Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:34Caption #-3
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:33Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:32Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:31Caption #-78
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:30Caption #-27
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:29Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:28Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:27Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:26Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:25Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:24Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:23Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:22Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:21Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:20Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:19Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:18Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:17Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:14Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:13Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:12Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:11Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:10Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:09Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:08Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:07Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:06Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:05Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:04Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:03Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:02Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:01Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker02:51:00Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:59Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:58Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:57Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:56Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:54Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:53Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:52Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:51Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:50Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:49Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:48Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:47Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:46Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:45Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:44Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:43Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:42Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:41Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:40Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:39Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:38Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:37Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:36Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:34Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:32Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:31Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:30Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:29Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:28Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:27Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:24Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:20Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:18Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:16Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:12Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:11Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:09Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:08Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:07Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:06Caption #969
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:05Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:04Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:03Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:02Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:01Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker02:50:00Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:57Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:56Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:55Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:54Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:53Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:52Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:51Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:50Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:49Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:48Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:47Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:45Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:44Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:43Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:42Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:41Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:40Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:39Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:38Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:37Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:36Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:35Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:33Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker02:49:32Caption #309

Board [Post Message]



I learned one thing early, a painful lesson reaped while I was but a sapling at age 9. My first love: Julie Anne Tovey, the girl down the street, mousey hair, yellow roller boots, red swim suit and fine singer of "Frankie, do you remember me?". Oh! Oh Julie, did you love me truely?

At the end of the summer I cycled like a 9 year old boy on a bicycle down the hill, my short mother cut hair awkwardly bouncing in the wind, manically pedaling my Night Burner BMX. I stopped at the village garage (gas station) and with the money I had earnestly received by digging down the backs of the couches at the old folks home, I paid for and bought two red roses that had been standing in a white, oil encrusted mechanics bucket outside the garage all week.

I had wanted to give her a dozen roses, or even a half dozen, but the old folks had heartlessly spent most of their summer days outside instead of lying comotose on the couches inside. I thought two roses will be good, symbolic, her and I, me and her, she will like that and maybe, perhaps she will for once agree to a snog.

I remember a sweet kiss on the cheek and a smile, before I paniced and ran away. (Oh please chase me!)

Then a few days later I asked her about the roses, she said that one had died and lost all it's petals, but the other was fine. I told her that one of them represented me and the other represented her. She frowned and said to me, "You are dumped, Jamie kisses better than you."

So there is the lesson, never ever ever ever buy just two roses, one will always wither and die first, closing forever the doors of the summer of love.


There are 16 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> I got a soundtrack to your bittersweet story. Just enough for a sentimental ep.

1. Needles and pins - the Ramones
2. Strangers when we meet - the Smitereens
3. Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne
4. Caroline no - Brian Wilson

<Kumiho> If it makes you feel better, Mort, my first crush told everyone in the school that I liked him and I had to spend the next two years suffering teasing about it until my folks got transfered.
<Luminaire> Aww, Mort, that's so sweet 'n' sad.

There's a tiny spot on my monitor that I never noticed until today, and it makes the Japanese woman look like she has a bindi. It's in exactly the right spot and everything.

<Mort> That's from page 444 of my autobiography "Mort: We all got it comin'", in stores now.
<ElvisThePelvis> Funny, I just finished a book titled "Mort: You Have It Coming". Life is weird like that...
<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<Mort> "This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

Or so he says... I should sue.

<ElvisThePelvis> Though I truly thought this was your story:

...www.amazon.com...

<ajiav> ha! according to that link, Mort isn't even real...created by some guy named Terry Pratchett!
<Kumiho> Then... MR. Pratchett is really Mort! Terry! You're an awesome writer! PLEASE come to ORYCON this year!
<ElvisThePelvis> If Terry created Mort and Mort created us, then all reality is based on a lie.
<Mort> Pretty much.
<mypalmike> Great story today! I think the moral of the story is to buy a dozen roses and seek out some group sex.
<Mort> Happy Birthday Little Niece Heather!

Born today at 2am.

<rio> how can i draw a perfect manga work
<David Byrden> Rio; the first thing you'll need is punctuation.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post