[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 02/19/2004 by Mort
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I ate three hundred and fifty quarters today

The depression was in my tummy, I thought money would make it better.

But how can I be happy, now that I know that our love can never be.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Extra images for you to caption:

You can also play where's David Byrden?


There are 54 messages for this day.
<David Byrden> And now - to the Webcam!!
<MLimburg> He's the guy in the red and white jumper .. next to the hooker .. dangling off the bridge
<Joyce James> Simmering among the purple-hazed dawnflowers o'er Dublin's ways & bys, goes skittering, scuttering the Bryden boy , denizen o' the bridge arch hovels, "queen" o' the pubby latrines like a ravager o' the morning dew drops. He holds the chalice, brimmed with smega-crusted lip traces, and quaffs the creamy brew!
<Eggs Ackley> Ya damn Irish idjit! It's "smegma!"
<Eggs Ackley> Ya damn Irish idjit! It's "smegma!"
<Carol> DB, I will have you know I was actually watching at the appointed hour. I was particularly impressed with the electric-green-and-purple skies you had there just before 8 (your time).
<Pedro Gonzales> Does anybody else think that the panda looks like a little man dressed up in a costume? Look at the way he's looking at the camera in the last pic...
its all a conspiracy...
<Jmofwiw> Never thought of it that way. Pandas are evil!
<guyPaulo> I'm just glad there are pandas in the pictures and not {evil}CATS{/evil}!
<guyPaulo> Check out this photo of a girl eating a roasted peice of rat:
<infosponge> I was in China for a while once, and they have these "Red Pandas" which are much smaller, way cuter and not at all evil looking.
<Jmofwiw> The fact that they are not evil looking probably means they're the secret masterminds behind all the panda plots. After today I'm going to keep a much closer eye on pandas.
<David Byrden> Eight o FOUR am??? You expect me to wait there for FOUR minutes???

I'll try again at noon EST.

<3Suns> Guy, how can you say that cats are evil? Just look at this cute little darling... ...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Lauren> So, David.... it's 11:25 a.m. in Philly. In 35 minutes, I'll look for you on the bridge.
<Carol> They only update the image every several minutes. It appears there is a total eclipse in Dublin right now.
<Lauren> Well, David, if you were there, we will never know. It is too dark to see you. The picture only refreshes every four minutes or so.
<guyPaulo> That cat has SATAN eyes, 3Suns! Only an evil, pimp-hat-wearing bastard like yourself would find that thing cute......
<Pedro Gonzales> Not that I have some obsessive fear of cats like some, but I have seen better cat photos than that 3Suns. Nice article though- guyP, 2 cats have died from bird-flu...
<infosponge> Evil? Perhaps.


<David Byrden> Yes... you'll NEVER know... if I was on that bridge! Muhahahaha!
<Mort> Actually the camera refreshes every 6 minutes. So I suggest that you stand on the bridge for more than 10 minutes. I caught every refresh from 8am to 8:15am.
<David Byrden> We have no life.
<mypalmike> "The depression was in my tummy, I thought money would make it better." That's hilarious.
<apple juice is a verb> pandas are not evil.
<Roger Mexico> Pandas may not be evil, but it's a curious fact that they have no anal sphincters, and constantly poop while they eat bamboo. If that's "good" I'd hate to see "evil."
<Jmofwiw> You want to talk about anal sphincters? Read about that guy that ate all the coins. His sphincter can stop on a dime! (Pada-tum!)
<guyPaulo> I finnally found a cat picture I like...
<Jellyloo> What the world needs is an innoculation against the spread of deadly kittens.
<Suspenders> If I had a deadly kitten, I think I would Die!
<Jellyloo> Beware of fuzzface mortality.
<Suspenders> If you eat cat, do you also get hairballs?
<Jellyloo> Second hand. Yes.
<Suspenders> Like eBay?
<Jellyloo adieu> Haley Joel Osment turned down a roll in Second-Hand Hairballs.
<ajiav> yay, i'm finally back in orku. now i just need yoyo to welcome me back into the community. i have paid my penance. i am ready to rejoin mostemailed society.
<mrs. mort> Ok...so is no-one going to comment on the scary number of furry-porn versions of a red panda picture in the google search that infosponge posted?!??


<mrs. mort> Do I have to spell it out for you people???

The internet is being taken over by furry porn!!!!!

<mypalmike> And the problem with that is....?
<3Suns> ... it's not as good as real porn??
<infosponge> is furry porn what happens when you leave it in the fridge too long and it gets moldy?
<MLimburg> mmmm .. fridge porn
<David Byrden> Well, this is very disturbing.
This afternoon, about 30 yards from where I've been posing on that bridge for the webcam, a bus went out of control and killed 5 people.
<mypalmike> Really? That's horrible!
<MLimburg> Man .. and to think if it was streaming webcam, we could have had an entry into FOX's new series "Funniest Streaming Bus Accidents". Well, we would need to add the funny BOING sounds I guess ..
<3Suns> The funny BOING 5 PEOPLE GET KILLED sounds?
<mypalmike> Yeah, that show Maximum X is pretty disturbing. They'll show some boat capsizing, and then say that only two people died. And in the background it's all cheezy 80's guitar licks.
<MLimburg> Reality shows .. the first sign of the End of Days
<JulieK> I can't wait for that show where they marry a small person.
<JulieK> I can't wait for that show where they marry a small person.
<JulieK> oops
<Mort> Wow Julie, you really can't wait to marry a small person!
<JulieK> I am a small person

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