[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 01/12/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

I brought my father to show and tell day at school, he is a mighty sumo wrestler.

But seeing him did nothing to stop the other kids from making fun of my weight.

I think Mom would have been a better choice.
(Fashion Wire Daily)


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Board [Post Message]

Good old Mary Carey, back in the photos.

There are 47 messages for this day.
<David Byrden> Mary's providing today's Venn diagrams.
<mypalmike> She's got some nice mutually exclusive sets.
<infosponge> I'm so tired of seeing big fake boobies. I just don't get it...
<Roger Mexico> Recent studies have shown that tit fatigue is an early symptom of Glaubner's Syndrome, the earliest stage of testosterone depletion.
<ElvisThePelvis> What if you get tired of looking at your penis?
<guyPaulo> That leads to RuPaul's Syndrome, where you have your testosterone intentionally depleted.
<yoyology> What if guyP gets tired of looking at porn?
<guyPaulo> Then I have Von'Ludenhaufer's Disorder, AND I'M FREAKIN DEAD.
<guyPaulo> Then I have Von'Ludenhaufer's Disorder, AND I'M FREAKIN DEAD.
<guyPaulo> Damn refresh button...
<Lauren> Okay, Mort, with 13 alternatives up, yours is still the best.
<yoyology.> You know, I was really hoping to caption the beer-guzzling German girl today. Mary makes an acceptable substitute.
<Mort> I don't know, I really like Yoyo's 3rd one right now.
<yoyology.> That would be the one I haven't written yet. I've only done two.
<guyPaulo> It's a little scary how good yoyo is on some days....
<Mort> See I told you I liked his 3rd one best.
<Lauren> Mort, what would you do when you think up another caption after you have already posted the first one? Do you come back as someone else? Who?
<yoyology> He comes in as No One In Particular.
<3Suns> Can anyone make a Star Wars reference out of this? That sumo and his wife could be Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia...
<infosponge> I almost posted a haiku involving Jabba the Hut, peanuts, and Mary the Slut, but decided better of it. :)
<Mort> Lauren, you are the only one on here who is not actually me.
<3Suns> What are you talking about Mort? I'm real!
<GuyPaulo> So am I!
<yoyology> I'm not made up!
<Axolotl> Maybe I made you up, ever think of that?
<The Real Slim Shady> All y'all just STFU!
<mypalmike> You survived because of US. WE kept you safe!
<Mort> I think the speed at which you all responded proves that it was just me changing my name and reposting.
<Lauren> Mort, all is as I feared, then. How much are my parents paying you to be my friend?
<Mort> I'm not listening!
<David Byrden> You're nothing without us!
<Mort> 3Suns please don't abuse the system.
<Mort> No... we don't need you. The Master takes care of us now.

Leave now, and never come back!

<Ecclesiastes> All is vanity and a chasing after wind.
<3Suns> =P sorry.
<Mort> Lauren, the real question is who is paying your parents to be your parents?
<yoyology> In high school, my friends and I had a big discussion about insults, and we decided that one of the most creative was, "Your imaginary friend is an a**hole."
<Mort> Yoyo - That reminds me of Chester from Sifl and Olly.
<Axolotl> I kinda like Gary Larson's aardvark insult: Anthole!
<La'uren> Sorry, I have to leave now to join the search for Spalding:


He is one of my favorite storytellers and I have a really bad feeling about his disappearance.

<guyPaulo> I always liked the insult: "You're so ugly, your mother breastfed you through a straw." Pretty appropriate for today.
<guyPaulo> There are so many captions today you'd think it was Wednesday.
<Lauren> Nah... if it were Wednesday, there wouldn't be so many positive comments ...
<yoyology> Sad, but true.
 Wow, busiest day ever I think.
<infosponge> Please everyone...start e-mailing photos around. We need the German beer baby and Mary Carey on the same day...that would be just boob-tastic! :)

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