[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 03/11/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Ah sweet pure cocaine, how I love thee.

Take me away from the troubles of this upsidedown world,

to a pineapple under the sea.
(AP)
(AFP)
(AP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Board [Post Message]

JulieK asked me to a guest comic for Okay Pants, so I made something pretty sucky evil - here.

Is it time for another rant? Why yes I think it is!
When I was younger, about eight or nine years old -- why am I always talking about my childhood? -- I made up a huge fantasy archive, to pretend to be more special. I told everyone in school that I was really Canadian! Yes I know not much of a fantasy. Many people in fact are lucky enough to be born Canadian, and their ultimate fantasy is to host Jeopardy someday.

Actually that was not my main fantasy which was that I was a Space Prince! Concealed on earth with hidden weapons and secret powers. Every night before I fell asleep I would switch on my bed force field, safe in the knowledge that the only weapon that could break it was a great battle axe (my stuffed dog), which was under the force field with me. Then I would dream ala Calvin and Hobbs of my space adventures, my bed a space ship, my sister an evil space princess nemesis! ("Mort I am your Sister!"... "Nooooooooo!")

When I was thirteen, I began to be plagued by mortality, I started to believe I would live forever. Quite common I know, I still somewhat believe it. Actually I thought I would live for 15.79341 * 10 to the 15 years. I kept that number in the memory of my scientific calculator for about 3 years, if it was erased I was sure it would never live that long.

I still have little fantasies about, being special or living forever, I would feel sad if they finally stopped.

There are 39 messages for this day.
<mypalmike> Speaking of comics, ...www.tragi-comix.com... is an old friend/coworker's web comic.
<guyPaulo> I'm back in the cubicle of solitude today.
<obtuse> Take someone else' cubicle wall and put it up in yours, so it'll be a fortress of solitude.
<guyPaulo> The main board is like a ghost town today. Wednesday's contest and Thursday's theme day really drain the monkies' energy I think.
<Mort> I was thinking of switching theme day to Monday.
<guyPaulo> I think that would be cool. It would give another day between "events" so to speak.
<Mort> Or it could just wear all you monkies out for the week.
I think I will make next Monday a theme day.
<obtuse> We need a Ye Olde MEP Websyte day!
<guyPaulo> How about "Dry, English Wit Day," "Sexual Innuendo Day," or "What did you do over the weekend Day."
<Mort> Ooo I like the last one.
<3Suns> Fake news story day
World traveller day
Nostalgia day
Insult day
<Jellyloo> Advice Column Day
Pretty Sucky Evil Day
<Mort> I am world class in Pretty Sucky Evil.
<Jmofwiw> 
Right-to-left day: all captions in reverse order.
Alliteration day.
Highest-Rated Photos Day.
International Photos Day.
Entertainment Photos Day.
<mypalmike> Themes to avoid...(?):
Mastercard theme day.
One-word day.
Write like Plech day.
Break the format day.
Make fun of mypalmike day.
<Mort> Insult mypalmike day it is then.
<Jellyloo> Isn't that the theme everyday?
<Mort> I guess so, poor Mike.
<3Suns> no, only monday-friday.
<Mort> I like how he is named "my pal mike", trying to get us to subconciously think that he has friends.
<3Suns> Well apparently he's his own friend.

That's gotta count for something, right?

<guyPaulo> Has anyone figured out who Plech is yet?!?
<3Suns> I don't think Plech is a regular's pseudonym. I think Plech is just Plech.
<Jellyloo> I think Plech is Mort or just some other rabid soccer/football fan. I am probably wrong.
<Mort> You might be wrong, or psychic, you should check for new messages. The old ones seem to be fuzzy on the truth.
<David Byrden> It's a little-known fact that nobody in the Middle Ages ever said 'ye'.
<Jellyloo> Old fuzzy things tend to be moldy. I should throew them out.
<Jellyloo> oh and DB, not even to say Ye-llow or ye-s? I heard all Thelma's 'jinkys' were dubbed later in the season.
<Zebra Girl> Ye was actually 'the' it's jus the way the 'th' was spelt that made it look like a 'y'
<Zebra Girl> And I think Plech is also Roger Mexico/Elmo.
<Carol> RM/Plech. "Gravity's Rainbow."
<Carol> Elmo maybe.
<obtuse> I actually figured Pletch was guyPaulo the other day, cuz Pletch (and a few other aliases) showed up only later in the day, after guy got out of work.
<guyPaulo> Nope. Not my style.
<Kumiho> Here's my final theory Plech=Elmo=Roger Mexico=Eggs Ackley. That and from now on I think I'll stick to 'Kumiho'. I can handle being a mutant fox.
<obtuse> And the Snoid from Sheboygan? It's not me, and I didn't see any when I was there.
<the Snoid from Sheboygan> Hotfeet & thumbtack on a chair day!

Don't bother with that Plechazunga - big good-for-nothing hulk of an imbecile! It'd be laughable if it was human! hyuck-hyuck-hyuck

<ElvisThePelvis> Porn story day
Clean day
Bring Back Crass Day!
Obscure language day
No animal day
<David Byrden> Passion of the Christ day
/~ Karaoke day /~
txt msg day
Bad fecking language day


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