[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 530 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:04Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:02Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:01Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:00Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:59Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:58Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:57Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:56Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:55Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:54Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:52Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:51Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:50Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:49Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:48Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:47Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:45Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:44Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:43Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:42Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:41Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:40Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:39Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:38Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:37Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:36Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:35Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:34Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:33Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:32Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:31Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:29Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:28Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:26Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:24Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:23Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:22Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:21Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:20Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:19Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:18Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:17Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:15Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:14Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:13Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:12Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:11Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:10Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:09Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:08Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:05Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:04Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:03Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:02Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:01Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:59Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:57Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:56Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:55Caption #976
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:54Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:53Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:52Caption #-34
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:51Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:50Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:49Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:48Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:47Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:45Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:44Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:43Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:42Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:41Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:40Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:39Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:38Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:37Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:36Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:35Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:34Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:33Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:32Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:31Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:30Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:29Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:27Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:26Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:25Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:22Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:21Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:19Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:18Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:17Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:16Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:14Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:13Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:12Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:11Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:10Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:09Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:08Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:04Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:03Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:02Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:01Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:00Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:59Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:58Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:57Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:56Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:54Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:53Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:52Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:51Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:50Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:49Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:46Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:45Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:44Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:43Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:42Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:41Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:39Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:38Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:37Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:36Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:35Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:34Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:33Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:32Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:31Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:30Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:29Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:28Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:27Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:26Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:25Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:24Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:23Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:22Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:20Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:19Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:18Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:15Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:14Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:10Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:09Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:08Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:07Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:06Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:00Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:59Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:57Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:56Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:55Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:54Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:53Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:52Caption #921
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:51Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:49Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:44Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:41Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:38Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:36Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:35Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:33Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:32Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:31Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:30Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:28Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:27Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:26Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:25Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:24Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:23Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:22Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:21Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:20Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:19Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:18Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:17Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:16Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:15Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:14Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:13Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:12Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:11Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:10Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:09Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:08Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:07Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:06Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:05Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:03Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:02Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:01Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:00Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:59Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:58Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:57Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:56Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:55Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:54Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:53Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:52Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:51Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:50Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:49Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:48Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:47Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:46Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:44Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:42Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:39Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:37Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:36Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:35Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:34Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:33Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:32Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:31Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:30Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:29Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:28Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:27Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:26Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:25Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:23Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:22Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:20Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:19Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:16Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:13Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:12Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:11Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:10Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:09Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:08Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:07Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:06Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:05Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:04Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:02Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:01Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:00Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:59Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:58Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:57Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:56Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:55Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:54Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:52Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:51Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:50Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:49Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:48Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:47Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:46Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:43Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:42Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:41Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:40Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:39Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:38Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:37Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:36Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:35Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:34Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:33Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:32Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:31Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:30Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:29Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:28Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:27Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:25Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:24Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:23Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:22Caption #989
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:21Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:20Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:19Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:18Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:17Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:16Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:15Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:14Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:13Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:12Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:11Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:10Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:09Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:08Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:07Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:06Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:05Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:03Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:02Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:01Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:00Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:59Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:58Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:57Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:56Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:55Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:54Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:53Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:52Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:51Caption #-13
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:50Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:49Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:48Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:47Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:46Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:45Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:44Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:43Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:42Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:41Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:40Caption #-42
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:39Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:38Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:37Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:36Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:35Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:34Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:33Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:32Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:31Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:30Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:29Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:28Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:27Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:26Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:25Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:24Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:23Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:22Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:21Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:20Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:19Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:18Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:17Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:15Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:14Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:13Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:12Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:11Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:10Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:09Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:08Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:07Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:04Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:03Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:02Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:00Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:59Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:58Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:57Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:56Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:55Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:54Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:53Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:52Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:51Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:50Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:49Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:48Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:47Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:46Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:45Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:44Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:43Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:42Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:41Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:40Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:39Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:38Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:37Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:36Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:35Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:34Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:33Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:32Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:31Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:30Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:29Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:28Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:27Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:26Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:25Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:24Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:23Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:22Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:21Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:20Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:19Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:18Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:17Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:16Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:15Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:14Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:13Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:12Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:11Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:10Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:09Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:08Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:07Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:06Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:05Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:04Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:03Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:02Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:01Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:00Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:59Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:58Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:57Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:56Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:55Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:54Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:53Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:52Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:51Caption #918
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:50Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:49Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:48Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:47Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:46Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:45Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:44Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:43Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:42Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:41Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:40Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:39Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:38Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:37Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:36Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:35Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:34Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:33Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:32Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:31Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:30Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:29Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:28Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:27Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:26Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:25Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:24Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:23Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:22Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:21Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:20Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:19Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:18Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:17Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:16Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:15Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:14Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:13Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:12Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:10Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:09Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:08Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:07Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:06Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:05Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:04Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:03Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:02Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:01Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:00Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:59Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:58Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:57Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:56Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:55Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:54Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:53Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:52Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:51Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:50Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:49Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:48Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:47Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:46Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:45Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:44Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:43Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:42Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:41Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:40Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:39Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:38Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:37Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:36Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:35Caption #-77
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:34Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:33Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:32Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:31Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:30Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:29Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:28Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:27Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:26Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:25Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:24Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:23Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:22Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:21Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:20Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:19Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:18Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:17Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:16Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:15Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:14Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:13Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:11Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:10Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:09Caption #-52
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:08Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:07Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:06Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:05Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:04Caption #67

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post