Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 376 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:56 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:55 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:54 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:53 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:52 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:51 Caption #232

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:50 Caption #403

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:50 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:48 Caption #403

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:47 Caption #314

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:46 Caption #61

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:45 Caption #192

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:44 Caption #413

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:43 Caption #792

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:42 Caption #554

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:41 Caption #56

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:40 Caption #-61

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:39 Caption #395

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:37 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:36 Caption #368

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:35 Caption #363

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:33 Caption #243

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:31 Caption #747

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:30 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:29 Caption #445

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:28 Caption #509

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:21 Caption #444

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:20 Caption #554

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:18 Caption #329

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:17 Caption #521

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:16 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:14 Caption #20

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:13 Caption #113

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:12 Caption #921

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:10 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:08 Caption #626

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:07 Caption #116

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:05 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:04 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:03 Caption #459

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:02 Caption #536

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:01 Caption #730

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:00 Caption #83

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:59 Caption #202

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:58 Caption #49

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:57 Caption #50

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:56 Caption #367

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:55 Caption #324

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:54 Caption #251

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:53 Caption #414

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:52 Caption #779

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:51 Caption #64

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:50 Caption #349

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:49 Caption #607

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:48 Caption #155

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:47 Caption #152

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:46 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:45 Caption #314

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:44 Caption #32

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:43 Caption #835

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:42 Caption #258

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:41 Caption #41

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:40 Caption #380

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:35 Caption #599

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:30 Caption #478

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:28 Caption #326

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:20 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:19 Caption #839

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:18 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:17 Caption #322

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:16 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:14 Caption #467

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:09 Caption #458

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:05 Caption #57

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:04 Caption #47

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:02 Caption #736

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:00 Caption #56

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:57 Caption #695

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:53 Caption #262

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:52 Caption #679

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:50 Caption #589

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:49 Caption #216

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:48 Caption #86

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:47 Caption #132

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:46 Caption #590

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:44 Caption #497

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:41 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:40 Caption #874

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:37 Caption #843

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:36 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:35 Caption #436

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:29 Caption #713

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:26 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:22 Caption #316

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:21 Caption #233

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:20 Caption #148

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:18 Caption #169

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:16 Caption #333

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:14 Caption #606

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:11 Caption #78

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:09 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:08 Caption #883

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:07 Caption #100

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:04 Caption #424

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:02 Caption #602

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:59 Caption #416

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:58 Caption #696

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:57 Caption #553

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:55 Caption #781

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:54 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:53 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:51 Caption #291

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:47 Caption #326

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:44 Caption #515

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:43 Caption #925

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:42 Caption #174

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:41 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:40 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:39 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:38 Caption #72

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:36 Caption #233

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:30 Caption #729

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:28 Caption #499

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:25 Caption #103

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:24 Caption #584

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:23 Caption #873

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:20 Caption #511

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:19 Caption #674

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:18 Caption #94

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:16 Caption #178

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:15 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:08 Caption #274

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:07 Caption #568

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:04 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:02 Caption #955

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:01 Caption #127

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:58 Caption #245

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:53 Caption #171

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:52 Caption #-25

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:49 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:48 Caption #109

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:47 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:44 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:43 Caption #31

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:41 Caption #212

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:39 Caption #545

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:38 Caption #317

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:37 Caption #734

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:36 Caption #623

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:32 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:30 Caption #359

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:29 Caption #346

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:26 Caption #296

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:23 Caption #730

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:22 Caption #882

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:19 Caption #225

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:18 Caption #89

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:17 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:16 Caption #730

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:15 Caption #375

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:14 Caption #737

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:13 Caption #331

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:11 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:09 Caption #510

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:07 Caption #891

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:06 Caption #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:05 Caption #754

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:04 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:03 Caption #599

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:02 Caption #284

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:01 Caption #348

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:25:00 Caption #521

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:58 Caption #72

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:57 Caption #274

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:55 Caption #420

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:54 Caption #03

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:53 Caption #521

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:52 Caption #731

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:51 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:50 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:49 Caption #716

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:48 Caption #828

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:47 Caption #734

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:46 Caption #899

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:45 Caption #386

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:44 Caption #47

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:43 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:42 Caption #926

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:41 Caption #641

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:40 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:39 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:38 Caption #419

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:37 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:35 Caption #536

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:34 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:33 Caption #676

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:32 Caption #43

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:31 Caption #725

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:29 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:27 Caption #521

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:26 Caption #688

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:24 Caption #502

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:22 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:21 Caption #74

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:20 Caption #38

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:19 Caption #381

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:18 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:17 Caption #361

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:15 Caption #630

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:14 Caption #86

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:13 Caption #157

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:12 Caption #148

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:11 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:09 Caption #138

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:08 Caption #398

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:07 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:06 Caption #888

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:03 Caption #652

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:24:02 Caption #819

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:58 Caption #725

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:57 Caption #198

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:55 Caption #612

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:54 Caption #504

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:52 Caption #348

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:51 Caption #75

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:49 Caption #513

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:47 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:46 Caption #321

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:45 Caption #49

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:44 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:43 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:41 Caption #444

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:40 Caption #288

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:38 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:37 Caption #438

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:35 Caption #445

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:34 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:32 Caption #258

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:31 Caption #89

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:30 Caption #608

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:28 Caption #768

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:27 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:25 Caption #255

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:24 Caption #353

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:23 Caption #44

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:22 Caption #870

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:21 Caption #911

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:20 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:18 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:15 Caption #959

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:12 Caption #238

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:10 Caption #579

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:09 Caption #593

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:08 Caption #139

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:07 Caption #758

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:06 Caption #579

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:05 Caption #50

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:03 Caption #574

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:01 Caption #173

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:23:00 Caption #34

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:59 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:57 Caption #625

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:56 Caption #653

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:53 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:52 Caption #711

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:51 Caption #386

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:47 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:44 Caption #337

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:43 Caption #333

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:42 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:41 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:39 Caption #613

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:35 Caption #386

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:34 Caption #53

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:29 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:28 Caption #496

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:26 Caption #181

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:24 Caption #71

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:23 Caption #815

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:21 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:18 Caption #872

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:17 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:16 Caption #-21

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:15 Caption #401

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:14 Caption #42

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:13 Caption #42

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:12 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:11 Caption #539

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:10 Caption #541

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:09 Caption #371

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:08 Caption #-7

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:07 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:06 Caption #124

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:05 Caption #843

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:04 Caption #260

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:03 Caption #849

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:02 Caption #253

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:22:01 Caption #112

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:59 Caption #353

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:58 Caption #801

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:56 Caption #459

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:54 Caption #592

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:53 Caption #797

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:52 Caption #234

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:51 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:49 Caption #388

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:48 Caption #574

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:46 Caption #461

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:45 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:42 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:41 Caption #767

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:40 Caption #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:38 Caption #811

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:36 Caption #556

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:35 Caption #12

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:34 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:33 Caption #571

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:32 Caption #214

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:29 Caption #433

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:28 Caption #899

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:27 Caption #486

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:26 Caption #181

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:24 Caption #581

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:23 Caption #303

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:20 Caption #637

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:19 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:17 Caption #638

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:16 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:15 Caption #484

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:14 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:11 Caption #29

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:09 Caption #479

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:08 Caption #829

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:07 Caption #169

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:05 Caption #813

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:04 Caption #498

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:03 Caption #679

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:02 Caption #729

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:21:01 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:59 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:58 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:57 Caption #493

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:56 Caption #583

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:55 Caption #409

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:55 Caption #598

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:53 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:52 Caption #541

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:50 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:44 Caption #332

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:41 Caption #735

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:40 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:38 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:37 Caption #383

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:36 Caption #755

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:33 Caption #-3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:32 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:31 Caption #763

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:27 Caption #853

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:24 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:23 Caption #107

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:17 Caption #153

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:15 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:14 Caption #181

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:13 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:11 Caption #97

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:10 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:09 Caption #681

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:08 Caption #637

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:07 Caption #524

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:06 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:05 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:04 Caption #190

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:20:01 Caption #782

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:19:58 Caption #22

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:19:57 Caption #231

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:19:56 Caption #313

Board

[Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.

<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?

<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.

<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....

<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing

<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.

<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?

<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!

<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...

<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.

<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?

<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)

<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.

<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.

<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.

<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.

<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.

<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post