[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 432 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:24Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:23Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:21Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:16Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:15Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:14Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:12Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:11Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:10Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:08Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:07Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:06Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:05Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:03Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker15:35:01Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:59Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:56Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:55Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:54Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:53Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:51Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:48Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:47Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:46Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:44Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:42Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:41Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:40Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:39Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:38Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:37Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:36Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:35Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:34Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:33Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:32Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:31Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:29Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:27Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:26Caption #-27
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:25Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:23Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:22Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:21Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:20Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:19Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:17Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:16Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:15Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:13Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:11Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:08Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:07Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:06Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:05Caption #-54
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:04Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:03Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:02Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker15:34:00Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:59Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:58Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:56Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:55Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:54Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:53Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:52Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:51Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:50Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:49Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:48Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:47Caption #-36
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:46Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:45Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:44Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:43Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:41Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:39Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:38Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:37Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:35Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:33Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:32Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:31Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:29Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:28Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:27Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:26Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:25Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:24Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:23Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:22Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:21Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:20Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:19Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:18Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:17Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:16Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:15Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:14Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:13Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:12Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:11Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:10Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:09Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:08Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:07Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:06Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:04Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker15:33:02Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:59Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:58Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:57Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:55Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:54Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:53Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:52Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:51Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:50Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:49Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:48Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:47Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:46Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:45Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:44Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:43Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:42Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:41Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:40Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:39Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:38Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:37Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:35Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:33Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:32Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:31Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:27Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:26Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:25Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:24Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:23Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:22Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:21Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:20Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:19Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:18Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:17Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:16Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:15Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:14Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:13Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:12Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:11Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:10Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:09Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:08Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:07Caption #942
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:06Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:04Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker15:32:03Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:59Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:58Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:56Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:55Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:54Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:52Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:51Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:50Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:49Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:48Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:47Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:46Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:45Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:44Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:43Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:42Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:41Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:40Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:39Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:38Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:37Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:36Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:35Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:34Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:33Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:31Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:30Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:29Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:28Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:27Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:25Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:24Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:23Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:22Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:21Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:19Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:18Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:17Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:16Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:15Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:14Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:13Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:12Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:11Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:10Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:09Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:08Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:07Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:06Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:05Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:04Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:03Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:02Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker15:31:00Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:59Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:58Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:56Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:55Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:54Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:53Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:52Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:51Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:49Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:47Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:45Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:43Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:41Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:39Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:37Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:35Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:34Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:32Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:31Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:29Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:27Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:26Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:25Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:24Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:23Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:22Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:21Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:20Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:19Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:18Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:17Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:16Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:15Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:13Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:12Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:11Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:10Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:08Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:07Caption #-3
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:06Caption #-41
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:05Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:04Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:03Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:02Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:01Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker15:30:00Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:59Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:55Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:52Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:51Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:49Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:48Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:47Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:43Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:42Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:41Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:40Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:39Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:38Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:37Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:36Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:35Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:32Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:31Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:30Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:29Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:27Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:23Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:22Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:20Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:17Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:16Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:15Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:13Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:12Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:11Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:10Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:09Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:08Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:07Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:06Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:05Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:04Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker15:29:03Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:59Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:58Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:57Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:56Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:55Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:54Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:53Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:51Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:49Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:47Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:46Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:44Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:43Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:42Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:40Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:39Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:38Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:36Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:35Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:31Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:27Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:24Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:23Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:22Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:20Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:19Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:18Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:15Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:14Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:13Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:12Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:11Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:10Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:09Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:08Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:07Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:06Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:05Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:04Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:03Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker15:28:00Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:59Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:57Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:55Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:54Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:51Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:47Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:46Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:45Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:43Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:42Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:41Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:39Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:37Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:35Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:34Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:33Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:32Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:31Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:30Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:29Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:28Caption #-65
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:27Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:26Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:23Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:19Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:16Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:15Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:13Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:12Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:11Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:07Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:06Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:05Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:03Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:02Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:01Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker15:27:00Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:59Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:58Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:57Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:56Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:55Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:54Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:51Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:47Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:46Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:43Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:42Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:40Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:39Caption #-32
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:35Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:33Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:32Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:31Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:27Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:23Caption #-32
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:21Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:20Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:19Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:18Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:17Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:16Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:15Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:13Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:12Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:11Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:08Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:07Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:06Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:03Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker15:26:00Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:59Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:56Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:55Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:53Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:52Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:51Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:49Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:48Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:47Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:46Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:45Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:44Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:42Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:41Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:40Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:39Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:36Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:31Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:30Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:27Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:26Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker15:25:25Caption #536

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post