Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 433 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:00 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:59 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:58 Caption #596

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:57 Caption #405

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:56 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:55 Caption #511

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:54 Caption #656

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:53 Caption #36

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:52 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:51 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:49 Caption #99

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:48 Caption #318

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:46 Caption #308

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:45 Caption #589

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:44 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:43 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:41 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:40 Caption #953

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:39 Caption #608

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:38 Caption #960

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:36 Caption #407

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:35 Caption #446

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:34 Caption #231

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:33 Caption #703

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:32 Caption #863

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:31 Caption #316

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:30 Caption #179

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:29 Caption #516

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:28 Caption #101

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:27 Caption #-3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:26 Caption #915

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:25 Caption #785

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:24 Caption #813

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:23 Caption #578

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:22 Caption #522

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:21 Caption #68

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:20 Caption #326

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:19 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:18 Caption #168

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:17 Caption #879

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:16 Caption #149

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:13 Caption #374

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:12 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:11 Caption #847

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:10 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:09 Caption #494

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:08 Caption #769

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:06 Caption #245

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:05 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:04 Caption #383

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:01 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:00 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:59 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:58 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:57 Caption #704

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:56 Caption #976

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:55 Caption #138

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:54 Caption #935

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:53 Caption #617

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:52 Caption #492

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:51 Caption #220

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:49 Caption #838

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:48 Caption #694

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:46 Caption #298

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:45 Caption #180

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:44 Caption #657

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:41 Caption #295

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:39 Caption #430

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:37 Caption #111

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:36 Caption #301

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:33 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:32 Caption #858

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:31 Caption #869

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:30 Caption #921

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:28 Caption #552

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:27 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:24 Caption #130

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:23 Caption #671

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:22 Caption #217

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:20 Caption #453

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:19 Caption #111

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:18 Caption #111

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:17 Caption #169

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:16 Caption #425

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:15 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:13 Caption #274

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:12 Caption #307

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:11 Caption #191

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:10 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:08 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:06 Caption #712

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:05 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:04 Caption #876

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:03 Caption #368

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:02 Caption #-44

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:01 Caption #463

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:34:00 Caption #759

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:57 Caption #555

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:56 Caption #594

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:54 Caption #313

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:53 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:51 Caption #222

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:50 Caption #219

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:49 Caption #247

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:47 Caption #897

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:46 Caption #306

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:45 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:44 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:43 Caption #51

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:42 Caption #521

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:40 Caption #629

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:38 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:37 Caption #537

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:36 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:35 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:33 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:32 Caption #289

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:31 Caption #282

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:30 Caption #770

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:29 Caption #587

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:28 Caption #495

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:27 Caption #265

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:26 Caption #740

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:25 Caption #245

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:24 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:23 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:21 Caption #364

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:20 Caption #454

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:19 Caption #881

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:18 Caption #304

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:16 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:15 Caption #531

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:13 Caption #-51

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:12 Caption #142

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:11 Caption #519

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:10 Caption #47

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:08 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:06 Caption #633

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:04 Caption #589

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:03 Caption #74

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:02 Caption #158

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:01 Caption #285

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:33:00 Caption #379

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:59 Caption #453

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:58 Caption #200

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:57 Caption #756

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:56 Caption #18

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:55 Caption #168

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:54 Caption #27

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:53 Caption #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:52 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:51 Caption #257

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:50 Caption #85

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:48 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:46 Caption #837

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:45 Caption #831

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:43 Caption #517

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:42 Caption #489

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:41 Caption #814

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:40 Caption #474

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:39 Caption #319

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:38 Caption #389

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:37 Caption #243

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:36 Caption #782

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:35 Caption #173

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:33 Caption #229

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:32 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:30 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:28 Caption #174

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:26 Caption #559

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:25 Caption #105

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:24 Caption #399

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:22 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:20 Caption #865

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:17 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:16 Caption #883

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:15 Caption #35

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:13 Caption #78

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:12 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:11 Caption #34

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:10 Caption #340

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:09 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:08 Caption #154

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:07 Caption #767

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:06 Caption #265

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:05 Caption #778

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:04 Caption #565

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:03 Caption #724

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:02 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:01 Caption #860

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:32:00 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:59 Caption #93

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:58 Caption #416

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:57 Caption #226

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:56 Caption #-13

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:55 Caption #411

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:54 Caption #582

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:53 Caption #407

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:52 Caption #159

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:50 Caption #514

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:49 Caption #280

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:48 Caption #699

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:46 Caption #395

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:45 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:44 Caption #508

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:42 Caption #200

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:41 Caption #420

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:40 Caption #765

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:39 Caption #423

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:38 Caption #445

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:37 Caption #507

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:36 Caption #365

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:35 Caption #767

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:34 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:33 Caption #657

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:32 Caption #662

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:30 Caption #268

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:29 Caption #277

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:28 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:27 Caption #606

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:26 Caption #951

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:25 Caption #696

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:24 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:23 Caption #789

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:22 Caption #561

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:21 Caption #676

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:20 Caption #760

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:19 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:18 Caption #22

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:17 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:16 Caption #976

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:15 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:14 Caption #372

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:13 Caption #28

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:12 Caption #359

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:11 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:10 Caption #183

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:08 Caption #793

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:07 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:06 Caption #243

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:05 Caption #628

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:04 Caption #307

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:03 Caption #29

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:01 Caption #880

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:31:00 Caption #807

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:59 Caption #280

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:58 Caption #949

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:57 Caption #510

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:56 Caption #95

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:55 Caption #155

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:54 Caption #227

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:53 Caption #619

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:52 Caption #785

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:51 Caption #467

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:50 Caption #585

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:49 Caption #568

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:48 Caption #-9

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:47 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:46 Caption #610

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:45 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:44 Caption #657

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:43 Caption #586

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:42 Caption #-53

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:41 Caption #154

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:40 Caption #930

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:39 Caption #779

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:38 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:36 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:35 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:33 Caption #821

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:32 Caption #524

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:31 Caption #530

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:29 Caption #99

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:28 Caption #124

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:27 Caption #103

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:24 Caption #390

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:23 Caption #579

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:22 Caption #698

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:20 Caption #271

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:18 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:16 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:15 Caption #788

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:14 Caption #935

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:13 Caption #43

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:12 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:11 Caption #117

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:09 Caption #595

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:08 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:07 Caption #808

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:06 Caption #621

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:05 Caption #300

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:04 Caption #840

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:01 Caption #330

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:30:00 Caption #776

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:59 Caption #729

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:58 Caption #873

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:57 Caption #899

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:55 Caption #264

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:53 Caption #869

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:52 Caption #888

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:51 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:49 Caption #453

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:48 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:47 Caption #361

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:46 Caption #804

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:44 Caption #496

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:43 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:42 Caption #24

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:41 Caption #374

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:40 Caption #992

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:39 Caption #618

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:37 Caption #494

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:36 Caption #448

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:34 Caption #72

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:32 Caption #110

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:31 Caption #898

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:30 Caption #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:28 Caption #598

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:26 Caption #856

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:24 Caption #429

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:22 Caption #810

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:21 Caption #328

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:20 Caption #569

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:19 Caption #742

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:18 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:17 Caption #129

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:13 Caption #774

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:12 Caption #555

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:09 Caption #675

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:08 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:05 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:01 Caption #182

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:29:00 Caption #755

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:57 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:56 Caption #369

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:54 Caption #436

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:53 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:52 Caption #847

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:49 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:46 Caption #849

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:44 Caption #393

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:41 Caption #169

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:40 Caption #575

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:36 Caption #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:32 Caption #870

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:31 Caption #124

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:28 Caption #61

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:27 Caption #489

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:24 Caption #139

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:23 Caption #209

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:22 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:21 Caption #14

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:20 Caption #182

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:18 Caption #412

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:17 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:16 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:14 Caption #772

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:13 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:12 Caption #95

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:10 Caption #631

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:08 Caption #221

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:05 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:04 Caption #788

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:03 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:02 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:28:01 Caption #777

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:59 Caption #831

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:58 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:57 Caption #825

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:56 Caption #259

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:52 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:49 Caption #94

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:48 Caption #178

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:44 Caption #437

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:40 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:39 Caption #187

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:37 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:36 Caption #29

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:35 Caption #532

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:34 Caption #595

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:32 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:31 Caption #313

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:29 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:24 Caption #401

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:21 Caption #251

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:20 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:16 Caption #347

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:13 Caption #326

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:12 Caption #419

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:10 Caption #410

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:08 Caption #-30

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:07 Caption #595

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:06 Caption #26

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:04 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:03 Caption #490

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:27:00 Caption #388

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:58 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:57 Caption #659

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:56 Caption #446

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:54 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:52 Caption #308

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:51 Caption #390

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:49 Caption #297

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:48 Caption #756

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:47 Caption #469

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:44 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:43 Caption #176

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:41 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:39 Caption #568

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:36 Caption #43

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:34 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:34 Caption #190

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:32 Caption #-40

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:31 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:28 Caption #237

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:26 Caption #710

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:24 Caption #781

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:23 Caption #638

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:21 Caption #137

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:19 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:18 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:17 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:16 Caption #821

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:15 Caption #69

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:14 Caption #349

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:12 Caption #707

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:11 Caption #538

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:08 Caption #571

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:07 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:05 Caption #64

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:03 Caption #72

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:02 Caption #86

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:26:00 Caption #-13

Board

[Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.

<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?

<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.

<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....

<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing

<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.

<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?

<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!

<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...

<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.

<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?

<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)

<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.

<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.

<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.

<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.

<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.

<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post