[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 425 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:44Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:43Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:42Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:41Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:40Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:39Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:38Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:37Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:36Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:35Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:34Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:31Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:26Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:24Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:22Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:21Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:20Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:19Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:16Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:12Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:10Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:09Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:08Caption #-68
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:06Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:17:03Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:59Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:57Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:55Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:54Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:53Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:52Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:51Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:50Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:49Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:47Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:46Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:45Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:44Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:43Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:42Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:39Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:38Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:37Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:35Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:33Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:32Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:30Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:28Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:27Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:26Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:25Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:23Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:22Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:20Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:18Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:17Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:14Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:11Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:08Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:07Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:06Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:04Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker18:16:03Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:59Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:56Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:54Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:53Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:52Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:51Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:50Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:47Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:46Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:45Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:44Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:43Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:42Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:41Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:40Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:39Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:38Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:37Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:34Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:31Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:30Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:28Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:27Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:26Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:25Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:22Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:20Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:15Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:14Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:12Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:11Caption #-10
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:10Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:09Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:08Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:07Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:06Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:05Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:04Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:03Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker18:15:00Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:59Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:58Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:53Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:50Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:49Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:48Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:47Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:46Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:45Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:44Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:42Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:41Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:38Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:37Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:36Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:35Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:34Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:33Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:32Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:31Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:30Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:29Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:28Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:27Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:26Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:25Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:24Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:23Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:22Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:21Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:20Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:19Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:18Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:17Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:16Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:15Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:14Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:13Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:12Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:11Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:10Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:09Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:08Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:07Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:06Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:05Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:04Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:03Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:02Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:01Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker18:14:00Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:59Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:58Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:57Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:56Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:55Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:54Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:53Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:52Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:51Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:50Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:49Caption #910
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:48Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:46Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:45Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:44Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:43Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:42Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:41Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:40Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:39Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:38Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:37Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:36Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:34Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:33Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:32Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:31Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:30Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:29Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:28Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:27Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:26Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:25Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:24Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:23Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:22Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:21Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:20Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:19Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:18Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:17Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:16Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:15Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:14Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:13Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:12Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:11Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:10Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:09Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:08Caption #-5
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:07Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:05Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:03Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:02Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:01Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker18:13:00Caption #-10
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:59Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:59Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:55Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:54Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:53Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:52Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:51Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:50Caption #-22
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:47Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:46Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:44Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:43Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:42Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:41Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:39Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:38Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:37Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:36Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:35Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:34Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:33Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:32Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:30Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:29Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:28Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:27Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:26Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:25Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:24Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:23Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:22Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:21Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:20Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:19Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:18Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:17Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:16Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:15Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:14Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:13Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:12Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:11Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:10Caption #-38
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:09Caption #-27
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:08Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:06Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:05Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:04Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:03Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:02Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:01Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker18:12:00Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:59Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:57Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:56Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:55Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:54Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:53Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:52Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:51Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:50Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:49Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:48Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:46Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:45Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:44Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:43Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:42Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:41Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:39Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:38Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:37Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:36Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:35Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:34Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:33Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:32Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:30Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:29Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:27Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:26Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:24Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:23Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:21Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:19Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:18Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:17Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:15Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:14Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:12Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:11Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:10Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:09Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:08Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:06Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:05Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:03Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:02Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker18:11:00Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:59Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:58Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:57Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:56Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:55Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:54Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:52Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:49Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:48Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:46Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:45Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:44Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:43Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:42Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:40Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:39Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:37Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:36Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:35Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:33Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:32Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:31Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:30Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:29Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:28Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:27Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:26Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:25Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:19Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:18Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:17Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:16Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:15Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:14Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:13Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:12Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:07Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:06Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:05Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:04Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker18:10:03Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:58Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:57Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:55Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:54Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:53Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:52Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:51Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:50Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:48Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:46Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:45Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:44Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:42Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:41Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:40Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:38Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:35Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:29Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:28Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:26Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:25Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:23Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:16Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:15Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:13Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:12Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:11Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:10Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:09Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:06Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:05Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:04Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:03Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:01Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker18:09:00Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:59Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:58Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:56Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:53Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:52Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:50Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:46Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:41Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:39Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:37Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:36Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:34Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:31Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:30Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:26Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:25Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:21Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:20Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:19Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:18Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:12Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:11Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:10Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:09Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:08Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:07Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:06Caption #160777327685
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:04Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:03Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:02Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:01Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker18:08:00Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:59Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:58Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:55Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:50Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:48Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:47Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:46Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker18:07:45Caption #930

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post