[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 482 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:28Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:27Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:26Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:24Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:23Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:22Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:21Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:20Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:19Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:18Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:17Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:16Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:15Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:14Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:13Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:11Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:10Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:09Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:08Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:07Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:06Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:05Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:04Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:03Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:02Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:01Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:59Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:58Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:57Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:56Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:55Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:54Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:53Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:52Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:51Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:48Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:47Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:45Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:44Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:42Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:41Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:40Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:39Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:37Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:36Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:35Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:33Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:32Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:30Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:28Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:27Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:26Caption #-64
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:23Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:22Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:21Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:20Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:19Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:18Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:17Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:16Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:15Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:14Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:13Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:12Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:11Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:10Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:09Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:08Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:07Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:06Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:05Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:04Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:03Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:02Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:01Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:00Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:59Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:58Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:57Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:56Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:55Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:54Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:53Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:51Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:49Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:48Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:47Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:46Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:45Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:44Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:43Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:42Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:40Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:39Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:38Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:36Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:35Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:33Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:32Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:30Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:29Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:28Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:27Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:26Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:25Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:24Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:22Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:21Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:19Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:18Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:17Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:16Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:15Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:14Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:12Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:11Caption #977
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:10Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:09Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:08Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:07Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:06Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:05Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:04Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:03Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:01Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:00Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:59Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:58Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:57Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:56Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:55Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:54Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:53Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:51Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:50Caption #-10
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:48Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:47Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:46Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:44Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:43Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:42Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:41Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:38Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:36Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:35Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:34Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:33Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:32Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:30Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:29Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:27Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:26Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:25Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:23Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:19Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:18Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:17Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:16Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:14Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:13Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:10Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:08Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:07Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:05Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:04Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:03Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:02Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:00Caption #949
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:59Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:58Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:57Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:56Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:55Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:54Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:53Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:52Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:51Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:50Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:49Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:48Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:47Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:46Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:45Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:44Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:43Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:42Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:41Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:40Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:39Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:38Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:37Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:36Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:35Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:34Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:33Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:32Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:31Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:30Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:29Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:28Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:27Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:26Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:25Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:24Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:22Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:21Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:20Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:17Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:16Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:15Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:14Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:13Caption #955
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:12Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:11Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:10Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:07Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:06Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:04Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:03Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:01Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:00Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:59Caption #-71
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:58Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:57Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:56Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:54Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:53Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:52Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:50Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:49Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:47Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:46Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:45Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:44Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:42Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:41Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:40Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:38Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:37Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:36Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:35Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:34Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:33Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:32Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:31Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:27Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:25Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:24Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:23Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:22Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:19Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:18Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:16Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:15Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:14Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:12Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:05Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:04Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:03Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:02Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:01Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:00Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:59Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:58Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:56Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:53Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:49Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:46Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:43Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:40Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:38Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:36Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:35Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:32Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:31Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:30Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:29Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:27Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:26Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:25Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:24Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:23Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:22Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:21Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:20Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:19Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:17Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:15Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:14Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:10Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:08Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:07Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:06Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:05Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:03Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:02Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:01Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:59Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:58Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:54Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:53Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:52Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:51Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:49Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:48Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:47Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:45Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:44Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:43Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:41Caption #959
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:40Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:39Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:38Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:37Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:36Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:35Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:32Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:31Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:29Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:28Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:27Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:26Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:25Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:24Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:23Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:22Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:21Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:20Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:19Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:18Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:17Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:16Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:15Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:14Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:13Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:12Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:11Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:10Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:09Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:08Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:07Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:06Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:05Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:04Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:02Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:01Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:59Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:58Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:57Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:56Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:55Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:53Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:51Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:50Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:49Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:48Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:47Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:46Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:45Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:43Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:38Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:37Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:36Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:35Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:34Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:32Caption #984
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:31Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:30Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:29Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:28Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:27Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:26Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:25Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:24Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:23Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:22Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:20Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:19Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:18Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:16Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:14Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:12Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:11Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:09Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:07Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:06Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:05Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:03Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:01Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:00Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:59Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:58Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:57Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:56Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:55Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:54Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:53Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:52Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:51Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:50Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:49Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:48Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:47Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:46Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:45Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:44Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:43Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:42Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:41Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:40Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:39Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:38Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:37Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:36Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:35Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:34Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:33Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:32Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:31Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:30Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:29Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:28Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:27Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:26Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:25Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:24Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:23Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:22Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:21Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:20Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:19Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:18Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:17Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:16Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:15Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:14Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:13Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:12Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:11Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:10Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:09Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:08Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:07Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:06Caption #-78
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:05Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:04Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:03Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:02Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:01Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:00Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:59Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:58Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:57Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:56Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:55Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:54Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:53Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:52Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:51Caption #734
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:50Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:49Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:48Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:47Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:46Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:45Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:44Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:43Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:42Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:41Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:40Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:39Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:38Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:37Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:36Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:35Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:34Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:33Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:32Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:31Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:30Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:29Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:28Caption #196

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post