[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 440 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:52Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:51Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:50Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:49Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:48Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:47Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:46Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:45Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:44Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:43Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:42Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:41Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:40Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:38Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:37Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:36Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:35Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:34Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:33Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:32Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:31Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:30Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:29Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:28Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:27Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:26Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:25Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:24Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:23Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:22Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:21Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:20Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:19Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:18Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:17Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:16Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:14Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:13Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:12Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:11Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:10Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:09Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:08Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:07Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:05Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:04Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:03Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:02Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:01Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker20:14:00Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:59Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:58Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:57Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:56Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:55Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:54Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:53Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:52Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:51Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:50Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:49Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:48Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:47Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:46Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:45Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:44Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:43Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:41Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:40Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:38Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:37Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:36Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:35Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:34Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:33Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:32Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:30Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:29Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:28Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:27Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:24Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:21Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:20Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:17Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:16Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:13Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:12Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:11Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:08Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:06Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:05Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:04Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker20:13:00Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:58Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:56Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:53Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:50Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:48Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:45Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:44Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:42Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:41Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:40Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:38Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:36Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:34Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:33Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:32Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:28Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:27Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:26Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:25Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:24Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:23Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:22Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:21Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:20Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:19Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:16Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:15Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:14Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:13Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:12Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:09Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:08Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:07Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:06Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:05Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:04Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:03Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:02Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:01Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker20:12:00Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:59Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:58Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:57Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:56Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:54Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:53Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:52Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:49Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:48Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:47Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:44Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:42Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:41Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:40Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:36Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:34Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:33Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:32Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:30Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:29Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:28Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:27Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:25Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:24Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:23Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:22Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:21Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:20Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:19Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:18Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:16Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:15Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:14Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:12Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:11Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:09Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:08Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:07Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:04Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:03Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:01Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker20:11:00Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:59Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:57Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:56Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:55Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:52Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:48Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:46Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:45Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:44Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:43Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:42Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:41Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:40Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:38Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:37Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:36Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:35Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:34Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:33Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:32Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:30Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:26Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:25Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:24Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:23Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:22Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:21Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:20Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:19Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:18Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:16Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:15Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:14Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:13Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:12Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:11Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:10Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:09Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:08Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:05Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:04Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:03Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:10:00Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:59Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:57Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:56Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:54Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:53Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:52Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:51Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:50Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:49Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:48Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:47Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:46Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:44Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:43Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:42Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:41Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:39Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:38Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:37Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:36Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:33Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:32Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:31Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:30Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:29Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:28Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:27Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:26Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:24Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:23Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:22Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:21Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:20Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:18Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:17Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:16Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:15Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:13Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:12Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:11Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:08Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:07Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:06Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:04Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:03Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:02Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker20:09:00Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:59Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:58Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:57Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:56Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:54Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:52Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:48Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:47Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:46Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:45Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:44Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:42Caption #-62
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:40Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:39Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:38Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:37Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:36Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:32Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:31Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:28Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:27Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:26Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:25Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:23Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:22Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:21Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:20Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:16Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:14Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:13Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:12Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:11Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:10Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:08Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:07Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:06Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:04Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:03Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:02Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker20:08:00Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:59Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:58Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:57Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:56Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:54Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:53Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:52Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:49Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:48Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:47Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:46Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:45Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:44Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:43Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:42Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:40Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:38Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:37Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:35Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:35Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:33Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:32Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:31Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:30Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:29Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:28Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:27Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:25Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:24Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:23Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:22Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:21Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:20Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:17Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:16Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:14Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:13Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:12Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:11Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:10Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:09Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:08Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:07Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:05Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:04Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:03Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:01Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker20:07:00Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:56Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:54Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:53Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:50Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:48Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:45Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:44Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:43Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:41Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:40Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:38Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:37Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:36Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:35Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:34Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:33Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:31Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:29Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:27Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:26Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:24Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:22Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:21Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:20Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:19Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:18Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:17Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:16Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:15Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:14Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:13Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:11Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:10Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:09Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:08Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:07Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:06Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:05Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:04Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:03Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:02Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker20:06:01Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:59Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:58Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:57Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:55Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:53Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:52Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:50Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:49Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:47Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:46Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:45Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:43Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:41Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:39Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:36Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:35Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:34Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:33Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:31Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:30Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:28Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:25Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:22Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:20Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:19Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:17Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:14Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:13Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:11Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:10Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:08Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:06Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:05Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:04Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:03Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:02Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker20:05:00Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:58Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:57Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:56Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:55Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker20:04:53Caption #469

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post