[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 03/15/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Look at her smile, the bitch!

It's cruel and very unusual torture I tell you. Have I no dignity? Look at my nails.

As if yellow is my colour!

My star chart showed me the path to follow.

Ooo! Pretty purple swirls.

Her screams were loud, but the wood chipper was louder.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
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apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
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Sucky caption, I am sure you will all outshine me. I had to clean my toenails this evening, it left me without the energy to be funny.

There are 19 messages for this day.
<David Byrden> Why? Did some kid graffiti them?
<Roger Mexico> All 14 of them? Phew! No wonder.
<3Suns> Awesome caption today Mort.
<Kumiho> Another slow day?
<guyPaulo> YAH! I finally got a friend on orkut.com who wasn't a regular monkie! I'm so happy...
<Mort> I don't think favourite hookers count.
<Kumiho> Hookers? ::looks around bewildered::
<guyPaulo> (sniff) Not all of us are cool enough to be in the "Hedgehogs" community, Mort. Everyone knows that's where the babes are.
<Mort> You have to own a hedgehog to be in the hedgehogs!
Actually "spike" (from Buffy/Angel) is where all the babes are.
<mountaineer> It is the yak club that rawks. Everyone is drunk and deathly serious. It is loads of fun!
<boyscout> I once had to sleep in the innards of a dead yak all winter to survive the cold.

But I got a merit badge for it.

<mountaineer> Are you sure it was not a Tauntaun?
<Boyscout> I once had to make a full scale perfect replica of a Tauntaun for the village fete. The church needed a new roof, and only the sale of a one off star wars item would keep the spring rain off. I made it out of rat skin, potatoes and stuck it together with dung.

I got the dung recycling merit badge after that, since I already had the church roof saving merit badge from the year before.

<guyPaulo> Dear god, why was there not a photo with this story?
<Roger Mexico> In Afghanistan it is considered a great sin to make images of hooved animals, no matter what they are up to.
Why? Don't ask me - how should I know?
<mountaineer> That can't be true. I found t-shirts of 'Stan the Mischievous Goat' the official Afghani mascot in a market in Kabul. Absolutely adorable.
<Mort> I have a Yak Yak Yak t-shirt from Tibet, does that count?
<mountaineer> Absolutely. Relax.
<Mark> New idea for you Mort. Put a parser on the display filter, so URLs are shortened to "link to server.name" and a mouseover (use TITLE in the A tag) will give the full URL ... might save on the hell yahoo urls do to formatting.

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