[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 02/26/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Meditation, not matter how much I try, it's not working for me.

I guess it's my wild kitten mind, it can never keep still.

It's always thinking of the lesbians, wait no this is a nightmare...

...ah heavenly.
(Reuters)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker19:52:49drooled over #0
Mr. NonameLurker11:59:51drooled over #0
Mr. NonameLurker14:13:00drooled over #2
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board


Current Users

There have been 185 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:28Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:27Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:26Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:25Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:22Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:21Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:19Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:14Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:13Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:12Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:10Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:08Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:06Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:04Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:02Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker12:22:00Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:55Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:53Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:48Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:45Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:42Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:38Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:37Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:28Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:26Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:20Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:17Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:12Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:11Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:09Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker12:21:03Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:59Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:56Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:55Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:53Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:47Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:46Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:45Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:43Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:38Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:29Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:28Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:24Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:21Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:13Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:12Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:11Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:09Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker12:20:04Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:59Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:57Caption #-41
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:56Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:47Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:41Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:39Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:37Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:30Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:23Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:22Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:15Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:14Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:12Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:07Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:06Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker12:19:05Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:59Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:57Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:56Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:53Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:48Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:46Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:41Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:40Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:38Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:36Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:31Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:23Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:22Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:15Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:14Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:10Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:08Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:07Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:06Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker12:18:05Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:59Caption #918
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:58Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:52Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:49Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:47Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:44Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:43Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:41Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:37Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:35Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:32Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:24Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:17Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:16Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:13Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:10Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:09Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:07Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:05Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:03Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker12:17:00Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:59Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:55Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:54Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:50Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:47Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:46Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:45Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:42Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:34Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:29Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:25Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:17Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:08Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:06Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:04Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:01Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker12:16:00Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:57Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:53Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:51Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:43Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:41Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:40Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:36Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:35Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:26Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:23Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:17Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:13Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:10Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:09Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:04Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:03Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:01Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker12:15:00Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:59Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:55Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:54Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:52Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:44Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:40Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:35Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:27Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:26Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:20Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:18Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:15Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:11Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:10Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:09Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:06Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:05Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:02Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker12:14:01Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:57Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:53Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:49Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:45Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:42Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:39Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:36Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:31Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:30Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:28Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:27Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:20Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:15Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:11Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:10Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:07Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:03Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker12:13:00Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:56Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:54Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:46Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:44Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:38Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker12:12:29Caption #790

Board [Post Message]

2am, 3am 4am... I can't tell which, it's the same enclosing darkness, the same hissing silence -- timeless. My eyes are wide open, staring straight into the blackness. I remember doing the same thing when I was three years old, one of my first memories.

Lying in my parents bed in the middle of the night -- both of them sleeping. Staring at the deep silence, listening to the dark noise. If you stare hard enough your brain starts to try and make sense of it all. It tries to give meaning to stray photons, or to the tiny blood cells that flow constantly across your retina. When I was three I imagined the swirling colourful images to be secret aliens, as they blurred in and out of my attention. I watched them carefully as they circled all around me, shutting my eyes down tight whenever they got too close.

Now older, I still lie here, doing the same thing. I love and hate this feeling. I ache for sleep, for the dreams I will have, but I can't yet. Dizzy with fatigue my mind enters a strange place, it becomes odd, odder even than usual. I feel wonderfully dishcloth, and comfortably saucepan.

I welcome it all in, the swirling fuzzy shapes, the static, the sleep deprived imaginations. The patterns my mind discerns are no longer aliens, they are the representations of the dancing thoughts inside my head.

I imagine myself in the dark, sitting in a deep enveloping chair. The chair and I in it, are in the most intelligently imaginative, and creative mind -- a deep well of inspiration. The jitter-bugging patterns become the thoughts and dreams of this fanciful mind fidgeting all around me. Like elaborate dazzling butterflies flitter-flutter, some landing gently on me, allowing glimpses, snatches of marvelous things, sparking my own muse.

It's like every great idea is in here, every book, every piece of music, every painting capable of emulsifying emotions. If only I could just reach and grab more glimpses, but I'm now feeling too warm and comforted to move, like I am being hugged.

I fall asleep finally, dreaming of the owner of such a mind.


There are 30 messages for this day.
<David Byrden> Damn it, how can I avoid mentioning lesbians or pussies?
<JulieK> I am pretty sure it is impossible.
<Carol> I would just like to brag that I was dissed by Roger M. yesterday so I am somebody now! 8^)
<guyPaulo> You're definitely a regular now Carol. Getting bashed by Roger was your rite of passage. Don't take it personally though, its Roger's role here at MEP.
<Carol> Yes, I was pleased that it was one of his custom-tailored ones! ...I will feel like a regular if I can post something really sort of crappy and everyone feels free to just go, "meh." [Well, I gotta get to work now.]
<mypalmike> What you need is more fiber. You know, to feel more regular.
<WeAreAllOne> Mike, now that the current user info has been restored, I am able to figure out that you are also Goober???

Can you figure out who I am?

<Jmofwiw> Mike was not Goober. I was Goober. Although I was not "Goober???" or "Goober?"
<ajiav> i didn't have time to say yesterday, but i was Burn-yer-mouth-eriffic, Martin Luther Milk, Eggs Farrakhan, Butt Deadly, and Cinnammon Cooch Candy
<JulieK> Congrats Carol! hehe
<JulieK> Mort I used to call those little dots my "sparkle friends" when I was younger.
<Mort> I am just glad I am not the only one who sees them.
<JulieK> I used to think so and I asked me friends and they were like "what?"
<Stormi> I see them too, provided I've had too much caffine and spend hours on end trying and failing to fall asleep.
<Jellyloo> I learned never to mention stuff like that to friends. I alternately see those dots and fractal patterns and giant splotches of color that morph and converge.
<Mort> I guess we are are all friends here. Friends who see dead people weird blobs.
<Jellyloo> How can you help me if you don't believe me?
<Stormi> I believe you. I think we all have seen some variation of what you've mentioned.
<Mort> Maybe we should start the "People who see things in the dark" club. Where we can discuss the things we see, with everyone believing.
<Stormi> I thought that was what this site is all about.
<jellyloo> Where do I sign up? Will I get unwanted solicitations from people trying to sell me a blindfold subscription?
<Mort> We will meet in the secret tree house in the orchard, just past the muddy field.

Bring good shoes.

<JulieK> Mostly alls I see are dots. Red ones crash in like waves sometimes, and sometimes dots of blue, yellow, and red in different sizes come in. Much like the Wonder Bread bag. Also I try to make green ones but I can't get a green thing any bigger than a little worm thing surrounded by purple. STUPID DOTS
<mypalmike> I think the dots are bacteria swimming on your cornea.
<JulieK> That is kind of gross.
<3Suns> Actually, I've heard that most of the swimmy things you see on the surface of your eye are fragments of broken capillaries. If your eyes go bloodshot for whatever reason, they are more visible.
<Mort> Well there are always capillaries across your eyes obscuring your view. The brain does it's best to remove them before it processes what you are seeing.
<mypalmike> It's bacteria, dammit! That's my story and I'm sticking with it!
<obtuse> I miss MEP on weekends... :(
<Mort> I have been thinking of ways to get this working on the weekend too, but I can not do it.

BTW I will not be here on Monday, I will be in Disneyland. So I will post Monday's caption early on Sunday instead.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post