Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 421 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:38 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:37 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:36 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:35 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:34 Caption #-37

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:33 Caption #-10

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:32 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:31 Caption #-59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:30 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:29 Caption #-9

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:28 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:27 Caption #-12

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:26 Caption #451

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:25 Caption #217

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:24 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:22 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:20 Caption #252

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:19 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:18 Caption #316

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:17 Caption #616

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:16 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:14 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:13 Caption #165

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:12 Caption #257

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:11 Caption #-4

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:10 Caption #404

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:09 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:08 Caption #90

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:07 Caption #589

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:06 Caption #175

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:05 Caption #113

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:04 Caption #361

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:03 Caption #696

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:02 Caption #217

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:01 Caption #234

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:45:00 Caption #501

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:59 Caption #533

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:58 Caption #621

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:57 Caption #163

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:56 Caption #440

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:55 Caption #748

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:54 Caption #684

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:50 Caption #753

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:48 Caption #946

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:47 Caption #855

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:43 Caption #159

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:42 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:41 Caption #489

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:40 Caption #162

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:39 Caption #57

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:38 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:37 Caption #650

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:36 Caption #112

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:35 Caption #476

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:34 Caption #153

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:33 Caption #616

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:32 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:31 Caption #485

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:30 Caption #816

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:29 Caption #780

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:22 Caption #189

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:21 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:20 Caption #765

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:19 Caption #579

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:18 Caption #531

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:17 Caption #460

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:16 Caption #215

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:15 Caption #612

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:14 Caption #758

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:13 Caption #134

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:12 Caption #909

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:11 Caption #513

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:10 Caption #753

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:09 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:08 Caption #843

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:07 Caption #771

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:05 Caption #522

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:04 Caption #347

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:03 Caption #86

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:02 Caption #633

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:44:01 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:58 Caption #542

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:56 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:55 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:54 Caption #748

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:53 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:52 Caption #69

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:51 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:50 Caption #155

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:49 Caption #101

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:48 Caption #482

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:47 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:46 Caption #26

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:45 Caption #124

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:44 Caption #941

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:43 Caption #399

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:42 Caption #578

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:40 Caption #204

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:36 Caption #121

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:35 Caption #61

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:34 Caption #424

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:33 Caption #98

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:32 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:31 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:30 Caption #49

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:29 Caption #562

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:28 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:27 Caption #226

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:26 Caption #407

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:25 Caption #644

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:24 Caption #472

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:23 Caption #564

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:22 Caption #752

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:21 Caption #108

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:20 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:15 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:14 Caption #379

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:13 Caption #573

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:11 Caption #105

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:08 Caption #336

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:07 Caption #88

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:05 Caption #461

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:04 Caption #31

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:03 Caption #488

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:02 Caption #902

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:01 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:43:00 Caption #565

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:59 Caption #735

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:58 Caption #806

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:57 Caption #175

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:56 Caption #719

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:55 Caption #685

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:54 Caption #546

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:53 Caption #258

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:52 Caption #110

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:51 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:50 Caption #242

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:49 Caption #796

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:48 Caption #493

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:45 Caption #827

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:44 Caption #233

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:43 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:42 Caption #56

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:41 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:40 Caption #495

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:38 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:37 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:36 Caption #57

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:35 Caption #969

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:29 Caption #545

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:28 Caption #655

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:27 Caption #169

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:26 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:25 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:24 Caption #690

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:23 Caption #287

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:22 Caption #91

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:21 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:20 Caption #939

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:19 Caption #438

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:18 Caption #335

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:17 Caption #298

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:16 Caption #17

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:15 Caption #656

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:10 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:09 Caption #133

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:06 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:05 Caption #487

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:04 Caption #403

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:03 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:02 Caption #862

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:01 Caption #72

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:42:00 Caption #239

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:59 Caption #700

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:58 Caption #28

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:57 Caption #561

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:56 Caption #585

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:55 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:54 Caption #512

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:53 Caption #100

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:52 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:51 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:50 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:48 Caption #29

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:47 Caption #958

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:46 Caption #264

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:45 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:44 Caption #561

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:42 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:40 Caption #431

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:39 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:38 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:37 Caption #237

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:35 Caption #857

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:33 Caption #679

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:32 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:31 Caption #567

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:30 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:29 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:28 Caption #887

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:27 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:26 Caption #574

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:25 Caption #552

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:24 Caption #461

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:23 Caption #202

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:22 Caption #703

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:21 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:20 Caption #600

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:19 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:18 Caption #560

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:17 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:16 Caption #286

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:15 Caption #227

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:14 Caption #526

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:13 Caption #499

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:12 Caption #971

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:11 Caption #432

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:10 Caption #688

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:08 Caption #511

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:07 Caption #464

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:05 Caption #231

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:41:04 Caption #586

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:59 Caption #321

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:57 Caption #87

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:55 Caption #380

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:54 Caption #498

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:53 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:52 Caption #615

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:51 Caption #30

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:50 Caption #829

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:49 Caption #870

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:48 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:47 Caption #329

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:46 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:45 Caption #165

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:44 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:43 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:42 Caption #499

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:41 Caption #-70

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:40 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:39 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:38 Caption #892

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:37 Caption #351

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:36 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:35 Caption #724

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:34 Caption #228

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:33 Caption #272

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:32 Caption #745

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:29 Caption #429

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:25 Caption #297

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:24 Caption #643

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:22 Caption #825

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:20 Caption #898

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:19 Caption #538

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:18 Caption #565

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:17 Caption #436

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:16 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:14 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:12 Caption #351

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:11 Caption #587

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:09 Caption #-18

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:08 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:07 Caption #253

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:04 Caption #954

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:03 Caption #376

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:02 Caption #45

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:01 Caption #808

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:40:00 Caption #934

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:59 Caption #651

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:58 Caption #966

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:57 Caption #46

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:56 Caption #433

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:54 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:53 Caption #658

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:52 Caption #504

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:50 Caption #573

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:49 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:48 Caption #-72

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:47 Caption #294

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:46 Caption #817

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:44 Caption #434

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:42 Caption #672

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:39 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:35 Caption #283

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:31 Caption #60

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:30 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:29 Caption #58

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:28 Caption #68

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:27 Caption #297

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:26 Caption #820

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:23 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:21 Caption #367

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:15 Caption #879

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:14 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:11 Caption #902

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:10 Caption #53

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:09 Caption #664

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:08 Caption #189

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:07 Caption #235

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:06 Caption #439

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:05 Caption #774

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:04 Caption #799

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:03 Caption #608

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:01 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:39:00 Caption #765

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:56 Caption #766

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:55 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:53 Caption #7

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:51 Caption #301

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:50 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:49 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:48 Caption #552

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:47 Caption #908

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:46 Caption #171

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:45 Caption #79

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:41 Caption #718

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:39 Caption #138

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:35 Caption #924

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:34 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:33 Caption #614

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:31 Caption #844

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:30 Caption #306

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:29 Caption #515

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:28 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:26 Caption #238

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:23 Caption #713

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:19 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:17 Caption #-45

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:14 Caption #841

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:13 Caption #57

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:10 Caption #838

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:09 Caption #-2

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:07 Caption #214

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:06 Caption #721

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:04 Caption #651

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:03 Caption #621

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:02 Caption #202

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:38:01 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:59 Caption #322

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:58 Caption #505

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:57 Caption #475

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:56 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:55 Caption #676

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:53 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:51 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:50 Caption #397

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:49 Caption #677

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:48 Caption #51

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:47 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:45 Caption #545

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:37 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:36 Caption #-7

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:35 Caption #81

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:33 Caption #650

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:31 Caption #831

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:30 Caption #379

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:29 Caption #167

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:28 Caption #652

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:27 Caption #308

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:25 Caption #133

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:22 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:21 Caption #373

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:19 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:17 Caption #603

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:16 Caption #747

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:15 Caption #67

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:10 Caption #379

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:09 Caption #26

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:07 Caption #247

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:01 Caption #173

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:37:00 Caption #120

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:59 Caption #886

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:58 Caption #651

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:56 Caption #101

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:55 Caption #17

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:54 Caption #298

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:53 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:50 Caption #368

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:49 Caption #253

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:48 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:47 Caption #300

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:46 Caption #139

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:44 Caption #357

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:43 Caption #53

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:42 Caption #726

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:40 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:39 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:38 Caption #172

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:34 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:33 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:32 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:29 Caption #748

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:28 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:26 Caption #755

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:25 Caption #670

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:24 Caption #126

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:22 Caption #531

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:20 Caption #855

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:19 Caption #14

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:18 Caption #449

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:16 Caption #738

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:14 Caption #415

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:11 Caption #351

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:10 Caption #723

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:09 Caption #615

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:07 Caption #284

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:36:06 Caption #513

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:57 Caption #534

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:53 Caption #665

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:52 Caption #723

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:50 Caption #705

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:49 Caption #79

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:48 Caption #525

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:47 Caption #172

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:46 Caption #837

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:45 Caption #702

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:44 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:42 Caption #796

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:41 Caption #686

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:39 Caption #317

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:35:38 Caption #818

Board

[Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.

<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?

<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.

<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....

<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing

<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.

<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?

<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!

<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...

<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.

<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?

<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)

<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.

<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.

<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.

<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.

<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.

<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post