Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 19:52:49 drooled over #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 11:59:51 drooled over #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 14:13:00 drooled over #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:49 Scrawled on the board

Mr. Noname Lurker 19:25:25 Scrawled on the board

Current Users

There have been 449 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:59 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:58 Caption #335

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:57 Caption #290

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:56 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:55 Caption #446

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:54 Caption #229

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:53 Caption #291

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:52 Caption #275

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:51 Caption #739

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:49 Caption #561

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:48 Caption #314

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:47 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:46 Caption #50

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:45 Caption #455

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:44 Caption #585

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:43 Caption #546

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:42 Caption #103

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:41 Caption #475

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:39 Caption #67

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:38 Caption #733

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:36 Caption #138

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:35 Caption #268

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:34 Caption #453

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:33 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:32 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:29 Caption #529

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:26 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:25 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:23 Caption #105

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:22 Caption #187

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:21 Caption #200

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:19 Caption #434

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:18 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:17 Caption #201

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:16 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:15 Caption #625

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:14 Caption #434

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:13 Caption #530

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:12 Caption #425

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:11 Caption #917

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:10 Caption #201

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:09 Caption #735

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:08 Caption #796

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:07 Caption #384

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:06 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:05 Caption #416

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:04 Caption #479

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:03 Caption #861

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:02 Caption #573

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:01 Caption #731

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:18:00 Caption #452

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:59 Caption #898

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:58 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:57 Caption #671

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:56 Caption #440

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:54 Caption #672

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:53 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:51 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:50 Caption #276

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:48 Caption #661

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:47 Caption #668

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:46 Caption #672

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:45 Caption #472

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:44 Caption #228

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:43 Caption #814

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:42 Caption #162

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:41 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:40 Caption #259

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:38 Caption #932

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:37 Caption #755

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:35 Caption #546

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:34 Caption #872

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:33 Caption #256

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:32 Caption #455

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:29 Caption #257

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:28 Caption #487

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:27 Caption #493

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:26 Caption #455

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:25 Caption #258

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:24 Caption #135

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:23 Caption #840

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:22 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:21 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:20 Caption #146

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:19 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:17 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:16 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:13 Caption #723

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:11 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:10 Caption #597

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:06 Caption #185

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:05 Caption #-16

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:02 Caption #558

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:01 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:17:00 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:58 Caption #101

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:57 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:56 Caption #180

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:55 Caption #528

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:53 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:52 Caption #278

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:50 Caption #335

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:49 Caption #125

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:48 Caption #486

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:47 Caption #71

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:46 Caption #86

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:45 Caption #126

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:44 Caption #300

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:42 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:41 Caption #596

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:39 Caption #321

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:38 Caption #360

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:37 Caption #875

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:35 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:34 Caption #122

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:33 Caption #374

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:32 Caption #386

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:30 Caption #90

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:29 Caption #375

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:28 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:26 Caption #532

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:25 Caption #376

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:22 Caption #770

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:21 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:20 Caption #274

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:19 Caption #276

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:18 Caption #372

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:17 Caption #371

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:16 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:13 Caption #542

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:12 Caption #837

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:11 Caption #290

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:10 Caption #211

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:09 Caption #543

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:08 Caption #364

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:07 Caption #835

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:06 Caption #789

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:05 Caption #353

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:04 Caption #289

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:02 Caption #353

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:16:01 Caption #564

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:58 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:57 Caption #420

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:55 Caption #772

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:54 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:53 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:52 Caption #456

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:51 Caption #221

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:50 Caption #234

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:49 Caption #222

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:48 Caption #220

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:47 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:46 Caption #123

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:45 Caption #564

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:44 Caption #-17

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:43 Caption #188

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:42 Caption #565

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:41 Caption #95

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:40 Caption #436

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:39 Caption #637

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:37 Caption #130

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:34 Caption #-18

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:33 Caption #129

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:32 Caption #355

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:31 Caption #203

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:30 Caption #950

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:29 Caption #756

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:26 Caption #61

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:25 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:24 Caption #206

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:23 Caption #139

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:21 Caption #845

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:20 Caption #850

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:19 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:17 Caption #846

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:16 Caption #207

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:15 Caption #238

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:13 Caption #847

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:12 Caption #244

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:11 Caption #819

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:09 Caption #427

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:08 Caption #210

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:07 Caption #260

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:06 Caption #667

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:05 Caption #101

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:01 Caption #668

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:15:00 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:59 Caption #160

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:58 Caption #78

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:57 Caption #460

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:56 Caption #637

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:55 Caption #73

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:54 Caption #611

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:53 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:51 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:49 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:48 Caption #404

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:47 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:46 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:45 Caption #802

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:41 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:39 Caption #920

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:38 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:36 Caption #769

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:35 Caption #788

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:34 Caption #766

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:33 Caption #891

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:31 Caption #275

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:30 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:29 Caption #141

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:28 Caption #872

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:27 Caption #178

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:26 Caption #234

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:25 Caption #913

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:23 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:21 Caption #330

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:18 Caption #292

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:17 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:16 Caption #155

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:15 Caption #253

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:13 Caption #125

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:12 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:07 Caption #97

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:06 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:04 Caption #228

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:01 Caption #456

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:14:00 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:57 Caption #461

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:55 Caption #-21

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:54 Caption #328

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:52 Caption #637

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:51 Caption #343

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:50 Caption #298

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:49 Caption #635

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:48 Caption #434

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:45 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:43 Caption #571

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:42 Caption #53

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:41 Caption #660

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:38 Caption #661

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:36 Caption #852

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:33 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:31 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:29 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:28 Caption #32

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:25 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:22 Caption #754

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:17 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:16 Caption #272

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:15 Caption #254

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:14 Caption #38

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:13 Caption #707

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:11 Caption #458

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:10 Caption #395

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:09 Caption #68

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:08 Caption #707

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:07 Caption #31

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:06 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:05 Caption #727

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:04 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:03 Caption #412

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:02 Caption #142

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:01 Caption #779

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:13:00 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:59 Caption #188

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:58 Caption #667

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:57 Caption #780

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:56 Caption #447

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:55 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:54 Caption #788

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:53 Caption #781

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:52 Caption #834

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:51 Caption #328

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:50 Caption #123

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:49 Caption #782

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:48 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:47 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:46 Caption #864

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:45 Caption #783

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:42 Caption #240

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:41 Caption #393

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:40 Caption #185

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:39 Caption #531

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:38 Caption #151

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:37 Caption #698

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:35 Caption #292

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:34 Caption #865

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:33 Caption #684

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:32 Caption #190

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:31 Caption #373

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:29 Caption #685

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:28 Caption #572

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:25 Caption #686

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:24 Caption #282

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:23 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:22 Caption #70

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:21 Caption #687

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:17 Caption #688

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:16 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:14 Caption #431

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:13 Caption #689

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:12 Caption #338

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:11 Caption #678

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:10 Caption #328

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:09 Caption #880

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:06 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:05 Caption #34

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:02 Caption #665

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:01 Caption #-33

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:12:00 Caption #-4

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:59 Caption #132

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:58 Caption #526

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:57 Caption #318

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:56 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:55 Caption #215

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:54 Caption #858

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:53 Caption #671

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:52 Caption #933

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:51 Caption #568

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:49 Caption #360

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:48 Caption #882

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:47 Caption #857

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:46 Caption #487

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:41 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:40 Caption #375

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:39 Caption #650

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:38 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:37 Caption #208

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:36 Caption #415

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:35 Caption #117

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:34 Caption #526

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:32 Caption #869

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:31 Caption #173

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:30 Caption #355

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:29 Caption #126

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:28 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:27 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:25 Caption #127

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:24 Caption #128

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:21 Caption #823

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:19 Caption #934

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:18 Caption #479

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:17 Caption #135

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:16 Caption #357

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:15 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:14 Caption #889

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:13 Caption #562

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:12 Caption #866

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:11 Caption #135

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:10 Caption #668

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:09 Caption #130

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:08 Caption #573

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:07 Caption #734

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:06 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:05 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:04 Caption #522

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:03 Caption #574

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:02 Caption #472

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:11:01 Caption #575

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:59 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:57 Caption #399

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:56 Caption #401

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:55 Caption #429

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:54 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:53 Caption #836

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:51 Caption #764

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:50 Caption #645

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:49 Caption #499

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:48 Caption #69

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:47 Caption #846

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:45 Caption #855

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:44 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:43 Caption #248

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:41 Caption #856

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:40 Caption #694

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:39 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:38 Caption #712

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:37 Caption #147

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:35 Caption #590

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:34 Caption #812

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:30 Caption #475

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:29 Caption #761

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:27 Caption #311

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:26 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:25 Caption #324

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:23 Caption #655

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:22 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:21 Caption #69

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:19 Caption #489

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:18 Caption #168

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:17 Caption #668

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:15 Caption #106

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:14 Caption #877

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:13 Caption #811

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:11 Caption #723

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:10 Caption #398

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:09 Caption #586

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:08 Caption #424

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:07 Caption #321

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:06 Caption #846

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:05 Caption #384

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:04 Caption #278

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:03 Caption #891

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:02 Caption #451

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:10:01 Caption #726

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:58 Caption #436

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:57 Caption #759

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:56 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:54 Caption #586

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:53 Caption #378

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:52 Caption #699

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:51 Caption #155

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:50 Caption #201

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:49 Caption #763

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:48 Caption #148

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:47 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:45 Caption #161

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:44 Caption #776

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:43 Caption #149

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:41 Caption #931

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:39 Caption #728

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:37 Caption #375

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:35 Caption #916

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:34 Caption #937

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:33 Caption #578

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:32 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:31 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:29 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:28 Caption #620

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:26 Caption #656

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:24 Caption #736

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:23 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:21 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:20 Caption #631

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:19 Caption #163

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:18 Caption #240

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:17 Caption #627

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:16 Caption #124

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:15 Caption #378

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:14 Caption #759

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:13 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:12 Caption #560

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:10 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:07 Caption #424

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:06 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:05 Caption #64

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:04 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:03 Caption #606

Mr. Noname Lurker 05:09:01 Caption #709

Board

[Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.

<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?

<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.

<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....

<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing

<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.

<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?

<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!

<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...

<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.

<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?

<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)

<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.

<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.

<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.

<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.

<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.

<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post