[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 332 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:45Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:44Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:43Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:42Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:40Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:39Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:33Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:32Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:31Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:30Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:29Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:28Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:27Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:23Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:22Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:21Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:20Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:19Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:18Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:17Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:15Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:12Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:04Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:03Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker08:02:00Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:49Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:43Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:40Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:34Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:33Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:30Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:29Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:28Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:27Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:26Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:25Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:20Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:07Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:06Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:05Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:04Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:03Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:02Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:01Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker08:01:00Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:59Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:58Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:57Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:56Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:55Caption #947
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:52Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:42Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:41Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:40Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:39Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:38Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:37Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:36Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:32Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:31Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:30Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:29Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:28Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:27Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:26Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:24Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:21Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:20Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:19Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:18Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:17Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:16Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:15Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:07Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker08:00:01Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:52Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:48Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:47Caption #981
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:42Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:41Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:38Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:35Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:34Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:33Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:32Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:31Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:26Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:25Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:24Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:23Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:22Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:21Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:20Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:19Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:13Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:12Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:11Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:08Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:07Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker07:59:03Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:59Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:58Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:55Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:54Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:53Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:52Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:51Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:50Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:49Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:48Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:47Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:44Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:43Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:42Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:41Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:40Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:36Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:35Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:34Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:33Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:32Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:31Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:30Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:29Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:27Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:26Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:25Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:24Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:20Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:19Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:16Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:15Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:14Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:13Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:12Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:11Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:10Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:09Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:08Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:07Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:06Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:05Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker07:58:04Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:59Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:53Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:48Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:47Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:46Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:45Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:44Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:43Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:39Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:31Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:27Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:23Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:21Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:18Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:18Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:14Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:13Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:10Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:09Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:08Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:07Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:06Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:05Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:04Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:03Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker07:57:02Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:59Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:58Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:55Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:52Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:51Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:50Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:49Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:48Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:47Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:46Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:45Caption #938
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:44Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:43Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:42Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:41Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:40Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:39Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:38Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:37Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:36Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:35Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:33Caption #948
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:32Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:31Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:29Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:26Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:24Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:23Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:22Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:21Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:20Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:19Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:17Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:15Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:14Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:13Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:12Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:11Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:10Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:09Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:08Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:07Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:06Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:06Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:04Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:03Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:02Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker07:56:01Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:57Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:56Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:54Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:53Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:52Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:51Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:50Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:46Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:41Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:39Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:38Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:37Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:36Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:34Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:33Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:30Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:27Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:26Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:25Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:24Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:22Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:21Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:20Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:18Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:17Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:16Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:14Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:12Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:11Caption #00
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:10Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:09Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:08Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:07Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:06Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:05Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:02Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker07:55:01Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:59Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:56Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:55Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:54Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:53Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:52Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:51Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:50Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:49Caption #981
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:47Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:46Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:45Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:43Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:42Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:41Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:40Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:38Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:36Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:35Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:34Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:33Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:32Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:31Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:30Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:29Caption #01
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:28Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:27Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:24Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:23Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:22Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:21Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:20Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:19Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:18Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:14Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:13Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:09Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:07Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker07:54:04Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:59Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:58Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:54Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:53Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:52Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:51Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:50Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:49Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:48Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:47Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:46Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:45Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:45Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:43Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:42Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:39Caption #-68
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:38Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:36Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:34Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:33Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:32Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:31Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:30Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:29Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:26Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:23Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:22Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:18Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:17Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:16Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:14Caption #953
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:02Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker07:53:01Caption #-30
Mr. NonameLurker07:52:55Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker07:52:54Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker07:52:53Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker07:52:48Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker07:52:46Caption #908

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post