[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 466 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:58Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:57Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:56Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:54Caption #-61
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:52Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:51Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:50Caption #-54
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:49Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:48Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:47Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:46Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:45Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:44Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:43Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:42Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:41Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:40Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:39Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:38Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:37Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:36Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:35Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:32Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:29Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:28Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:27Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:26Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:24Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:21Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:20Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:19Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:18Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:17Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:16Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:15Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:14Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:13Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:12Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:11Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:10Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:09Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:08Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:07Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:06Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:04Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:03Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:02Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:01Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker20:30:00Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:59Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:58Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:57Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:56Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:55Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:54Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:53Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:52Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:51Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:50Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:49Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:47Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:46Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:45Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:44Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:43Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:42Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:41Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:40Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:39Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:38Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:37Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:36Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:35Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:33Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:32Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:31Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:30Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:29Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:28Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:27Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:26Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:25Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:24Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:23Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:22Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:21Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:19Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:18Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:16Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:15Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:14Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:13Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:12Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:11Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:10Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:09Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:08Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:07Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:06Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:05Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:04Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:03Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:02Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:01Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker20:29:00Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:59Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:58Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:57Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:56Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:55Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:54Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:53Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:52Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:51Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:50Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:49Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:48Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:46Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:45Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:44Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:42Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:41Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:40Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:39Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:38Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:37Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:36Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:35Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:34Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:33Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:32Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:31Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:30Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:29Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:28Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:26Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:24Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:23Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:21Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:20Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:19Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:18Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:16Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:15Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:14Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:13Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:12Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:11Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:10Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:09Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:08Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:07Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:06Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:05Caption #976
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:04Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:03Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:02Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:01Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker20:28:00Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:59Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:58Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:57Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:55Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:54Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:53Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:50Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:49Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:47Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:46Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:45Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:43Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:42Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:41Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:38Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:37Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:35Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:34Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:32Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:30Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:27Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:25Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:24Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:23Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:22Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:20Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:19Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:18Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:16Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:15Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:13Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:12Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:11Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:10Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:09Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:08Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:07Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:06Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:05Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:04Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:03Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:02Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker20:27:00Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:59Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:53Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:52Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:51Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:50Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:49Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:48Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:47Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:46Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:45Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:44Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:43Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:42Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:41Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:40Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:39Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:38Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:37Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:36Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:35Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:34Caption #974
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:33Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:32Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:31Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:30Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:29Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:26Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:25Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:24Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:23Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:22Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:18Caption #-51
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:17Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:16Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:15Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:13Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:10Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:09Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:06Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:05Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:04Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:03Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:02Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:01Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker20:26:00Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:59Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:55Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:54Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:53Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:52Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:50Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:49Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:48Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:47Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:46Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:42Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:40Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:38Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:37Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:35Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:34Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:33Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:31Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:30Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:29Caption #-35
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:28Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:27Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:26Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:22Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:21Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:19Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:17Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:15Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:14Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:13Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:12Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:10Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:09Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:08Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:07Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:06Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:05Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:04Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:03Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:02Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:01Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker20:25:00Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:59Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:58Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:57Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:56Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:54Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:53Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:52Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:50Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:47Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:46Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:44Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:43Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:42Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:41Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:39Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:36Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:33Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:31Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:30Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:29Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:28Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:27Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:26Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:25Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:24Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:23Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:22Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:21Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:20Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:19Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:18Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:17Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:16Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:15Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:14Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:11Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:10Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:09Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:08Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:07Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:06Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker20:24:03Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:57Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:56Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:55Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:54Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:51Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:50Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:49Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:48Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:47Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:45Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:44Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:43Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:42Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:42Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:40Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:38Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:37Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:36Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:35Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:34Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:32Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:31Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:30Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:29Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:27Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:24Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:23Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:22Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:21Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:20Caption #-42
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:19Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:17Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:16Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:15Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:14Caption #-34
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:13Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:11Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:10Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:09Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:08Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:06Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:05Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:04Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:03Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:02Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:01Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker20:23:00Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:58Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:57Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:55Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:54Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:53Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:52Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:51Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:50Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:49Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:48Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:47Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:43Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:41Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:39Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:38Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:36Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:35Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:34Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:33Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:31Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:30Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:28Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:26Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:25Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:24Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:23Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:22Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:21Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:20Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:18Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:17Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:16Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:13Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:10Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:09Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:08Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:05Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:04Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:02Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:01Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker20:22:00Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:59Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:57Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:52Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:51Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:50Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:47Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:46Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:45Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:42Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:40Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:38Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:37Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:35Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:34Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:33Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:32Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:30Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:29Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:28Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:27Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:26Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:25Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:24Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:23Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:22Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:21Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:20Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:19Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:18Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:17Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:16Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:15Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:13Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:12Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:09Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:08Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:07Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:05Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:04Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:03Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:01Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker20:21:00Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:59Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker20:20:58Caption #-18

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post