[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 473 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:23Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:22Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:21Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:20Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:19Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:18Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:17Caption #980
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:16Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:15Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:14Caption #-31
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:13Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:12Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:11Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:10Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:09Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:08Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:07Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:05Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:04Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:02Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:01Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker19:26:00Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:59Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:58Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:57Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:56Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:55Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:54Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:53Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:52Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:51Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:50Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:49Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:48Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:48Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:46Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:45Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:44Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:43Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:42Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:41Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:39Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:37Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:36Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:35Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:34Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:33Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:32Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:31Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:30Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:29Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:28Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:27Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:26Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:24Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:23Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:22Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:21Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:20Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:19Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:18Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:17Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:16Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:15Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:14Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:13Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:12Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:11Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:10Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:09Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:07Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:05Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:04Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:03Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:02Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:01Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:00Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:59Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:58Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:57Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:56Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:55Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:54Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:53Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:52Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:51Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:50Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:49Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:48Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:47Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:46Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:45Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:44Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:43Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:42Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:41Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:40Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:39Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:38Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:37Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:36Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:35Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:34Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:33Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:32Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:31Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:30Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:29Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:28Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:27Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:26Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:25Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:24Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:23Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:22Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:21Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:20Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:19Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:18Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:17Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:16Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:15Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:14Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:13Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:12Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:11Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:10Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:09Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:08Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:07Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:06Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:05Caption #901
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:04Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:03Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:02Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:01Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker19:24:00Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:59Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:58Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:57Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:56Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:55Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:54Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:53Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:52Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:51Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:50Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:49Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:48Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:46Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:45Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:44Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:41Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:39Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:38Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:37Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:36Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:35Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:34Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:33Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:32Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:29Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:27Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:26Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:25Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:24Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:23Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:22Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:21Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:20Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:19Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:18Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:17Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:16Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:15Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:14Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:13Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:12Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:11Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:10Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:09Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:08Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:07Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:06Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:05Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:04Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:03Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:02Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:01Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker19:23:00Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:59Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:58Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:57Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:55Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:54Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:53Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:51Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:50Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:49Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:48Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:47Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:46Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:45Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:44Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:42Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:41Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:40Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:38Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:37Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:35Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:34Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:33Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:32Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:31Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:30Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:29Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:28Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:27Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:26Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:25Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:24Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:23Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:22Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:21Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:20Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:19Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:18Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:17Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:16Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:15Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:14Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:13Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:12Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:11Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:10Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:09Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:08Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:07Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:06Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:05Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:04Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:03Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:02Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:01Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker19:22:00Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:59Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:58Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:57Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:56Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:55Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:54Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:53Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:52Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:51Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:50Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:49Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:48Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:47Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:46Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:45Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:44Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:44Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:42Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:41Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:39Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:38Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:37Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:36Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:34Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:32Caption #-36
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:31Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:30Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:29Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:28Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:27Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:26Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:25Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:24Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:23Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:22Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:21Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:20Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:19Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:18Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:17Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:16Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:15Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:14Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:13Caption #-68
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:12Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:11Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:10Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:09Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:08Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:08Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:06Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:05Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:04Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:03Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker19:21:01Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:59Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:58Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:57Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:56Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:54Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:53Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:52Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:51Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:50Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:49Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:48Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:47Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:46Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:45Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:44Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:43Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:42Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:41Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:40Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:38Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:33Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:32Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:31Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:30Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:28Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:26Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:25Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:24Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:23Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:22Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:21Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:19Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:18Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:17Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:16Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:14Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:13Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:10Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:09Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:07Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:06Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:05Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:04Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:02Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:01Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker19:20:00Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:59Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:58Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:54Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:53Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:52Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:51Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:50Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:48Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:46Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:45Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:43Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:42Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:41Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:39Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:38Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:37Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:34Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:33Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:32Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:31Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:30Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:28Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:27Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:26Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:25Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:24Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:22Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:21Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:20Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:18Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:17Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:16Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:15Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:13Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:12Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:10Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:09Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:08Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:07Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:06Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:05Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:04Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker19:19:01Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:59Caption #-6
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:58Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:57Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:56Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:55Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:52Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:51Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:49Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:47Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:42Caption #-36
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:41Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:39Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:38Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:37Caption #-32
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:36Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:35Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:31Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:29Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:26Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:22Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:20Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:18Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:15Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:11Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:10Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:09Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:08Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:06Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:02Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:01Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker19:18:00Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:58Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:57Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:56Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:54Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:52Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:50Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:48Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:47Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:43Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:42Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:41Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:39Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:38Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:36Caption #918
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:35Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:34Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:32Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:31Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:26Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:24Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:22Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:18Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:17Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:15Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:14Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:11Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:10Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:09Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:08Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:04Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:02Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:01Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker19:17:00Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:58Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:55Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:54Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:53Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:51Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:50Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:42Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:40Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:39Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:38Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:34Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:33Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:32Caption #-60
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:31Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:30Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:28Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:27Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker19:16:23Caption #744

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post