[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.
(AP)
(AP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 499 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:09Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:08Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:07Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:06Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:05Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:04Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:03Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:02Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:01Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker16:57:00Caption #-47
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:59Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:58Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:55Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:54Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:53Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:52Caption #-48
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:51Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:50Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:49Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:48Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:47Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:46Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:43Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:42Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:41Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:40Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:39Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:38Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:37Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:36Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:35Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:34Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:33Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:32Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:28Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:27Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:26Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:25Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:24Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:23Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:22Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:21Caption #-51
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:20Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:19Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:18Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:17Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:16Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:15Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:14Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:13Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:12Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:11Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:10Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:09Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:08Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:07Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:06Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:05Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:04Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:03Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:02Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:01Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker16:56:00Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:59Caption #-3
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:58Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:57Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:56Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:56Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:54Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:53Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:52Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:51Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:50Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:49Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:48Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:47Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:46Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:45Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:44Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:43Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:42Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:41Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:40Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:39Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:38Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:37Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:36Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:35Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:34Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:33Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:32Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:31Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:30Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:29Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:28Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:27Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:26Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:25Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:24Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:23Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:22Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:21Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:20Caption #-9
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:19Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:18Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:17Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:16Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:15Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:14Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:13Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:12Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:11Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:10Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:09Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:08Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:07Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:06Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:05Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:04Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:03Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:02Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:01Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker16:55:00Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:59Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:58Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:57Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:56Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:55Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:54Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:53Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:52Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:51Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:50Caption #-13
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:49Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:48Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:47Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:46Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:45Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:44Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:43Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:42Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:41Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:40Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:39Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:36Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:35Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:34Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:32Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:31Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:30Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:29Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:28Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:25Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:24Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:23Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:22Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:21Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:20Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:19Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:18Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:15Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:14Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:13Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:12Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:10Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:08Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:07Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:04Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:03Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:02Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:01Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:54:00Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:59Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:58Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:55Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:54Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:53Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:51Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:50Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:49Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:48Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:46Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:45Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:44Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:43Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:42Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:41Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:39Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:38Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:37Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:36Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:35Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:34Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:33Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:32Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:31Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:29Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:28Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:27Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:26Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:25Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:24Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:23Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:22Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:21Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:20Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:19Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:18Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:16Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:14Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:13Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:12Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:11Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:10Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:09Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:08Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:07Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:06Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:05Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:04Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:03Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:02Caption #-49
Mr. NonameLurker16:53:01Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:58Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:57Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:55Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:54Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:53Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:52Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:50Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:49Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:47Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:46Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:45Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:44Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:43Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:42Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:40Caption #910
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:39Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:38Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:37Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:36Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:35Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:34Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:33Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:32Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:31Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:30Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:29Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:28Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:26Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:25Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:23Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:21Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:20Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:19Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:18Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:17Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:16Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:15Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:14Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:13Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:12Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:11Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:09Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:08Caption #-38
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:07Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:05Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:04Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:02Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:01Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker16:52:00Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:59Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:58Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:57Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:56Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:55Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:54Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:52Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:50Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:49Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:48Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:47Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:46Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:43Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:41Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:39Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:38Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:34Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:33Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:32Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:31Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:30Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:29Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:28Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:27Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:26Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:25Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:24Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:22Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:20Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:18Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:17Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:16Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:15Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:13Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:11Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:10Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:08Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:07Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:06Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:05Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:04Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:03Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:02Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:01Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker16:51:00Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:59Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:58Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:56Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:55Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:54Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:53Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:51Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:48Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:46Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:45Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:44Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:43Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:42Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:41Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:39Caption #956
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:38Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:37Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:35Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:34Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:31Caption #979
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:30Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:29Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:27Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:26Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:23Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:22Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:21Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:20Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:17Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:16Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:12Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:10Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:09Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:08Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:06Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:05Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:04Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:03Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:01Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker16:50:00Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:59Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:57Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:54Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:53Caption #866
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:52Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:50Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:49Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:48Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:47Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:46Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:45Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:44Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:41Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:40Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:39Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:38Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:37Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:35Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:34Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:33Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:32Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:31Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:30Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:29Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:28Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:27Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:26Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:25Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:24Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:23Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:22Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:21Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:19Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:18Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:17Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:16Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:15Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:14Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:13Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:11Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:10Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:09Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:08Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:07Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:06Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:05Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:04Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:03Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:02Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:01Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker16:49:00Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:59Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:58Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:57Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:56Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:55Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:54Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:53Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:52Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:51Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:50Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:49Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:48Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:47Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:46Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:44Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:43Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:42Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:41Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:38Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:37Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:35Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:34Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:33Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:31Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:30Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:29Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:27Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:26Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:25Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:24Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:23Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:22Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:21Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:19Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:18Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:17Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:16Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:15Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:14Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:13Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:12Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:11Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:10Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:09Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:08Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:07Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:05Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:04Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:03Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:02Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker16:48:00Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:59Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:57Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:56Caption #631
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:55Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:54Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:53Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:52Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:51Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:50Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:49Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:47Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:46Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:44Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:42Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:41Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:40Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:39Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:38Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:37Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:36Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:35Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:33Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:31Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:30Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:27Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:26Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:25Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:24Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:22Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:21Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:20Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:19Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:17Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:16Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:14Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:13Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:11Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:10Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:09Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker16:47:09Caption #640

Board [Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?
<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.
<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....
<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing
<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.
<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?
<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!
<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.
<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?
<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)
<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.
<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.
<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.
<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.
<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.
<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post