Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 409 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:08 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:07 Caption #630

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:06 Caption #328

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:05 Caption #905

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:04 Caption #621

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:03 Caption #530

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:02 Caption #-45

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:01 Caption #-52

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:42:00 Caption #-11

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:59 Caption #-80

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:58 Caption #-15

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:57 Caption #62

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:56 Caption #825

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:55 Caption #311

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:54 Caption #464

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:53 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:52 Caption #645

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:51 Caption #728

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:50 Caption #898

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:49 Caption #902

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:48 Caption #572

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:47 Caption #83

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:46 Caption #646

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:45 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:44 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:43 Caption #575

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:42 Caption #466

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:41 Caption #443

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:40 Caption #898

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:39 Caption #828

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:38 Caption #314

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:37 Caption #37

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:36 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:35 Caption #641

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:34 Caption #66

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:33 Caption #829

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:32 Caption #13

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:31 Caption #415

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:30 Caption #163

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:29 Caption #81

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:28 Caption #648

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:27 Caption #534

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:26 Caption #662

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:25 Caption #827

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:24 Caption #380

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:23 Caption #93

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:22 Caption #227

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:21 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:20 Caption #-17

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:19 Caption #966

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:18 Caption #550

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:17 Caption #190

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:16 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:15 Caption #119

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:14 Caption #645

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:13 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:12 Caption #279

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:11 Caption #289

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:10 Caption #597

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:09 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:08 Caption #338

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:07 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:06 Caption #326

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:05 Caption #504

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:04 Caption #915

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:03 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:02 Caption #453

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:01 Caption #626

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:41:00 Caption #693

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:59 Caption #470

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:58 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:57 Caption #174

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:56 Caption #748

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:55 Caption #834

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:54 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:53 Caption #542

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:52 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:51 Caption #819

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:50 Caption #478

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:49 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:48 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:47 Caption #472

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:46 Caption #189

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:45 Caption #570

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:44 Caption #311

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:43 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:42 Caption #99

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:41 Caption #842

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:40 Caption #502

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:39 Caption #601

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:38 Caption #608

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:37 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:36 Caption #903

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:35 Caption #275

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:34 Caption #800

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:33 Caption #688

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:32 Caption #475

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:31 Caption #625

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:30 Caption #718

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:29 Caption #268

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:28 Caption #633

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:27 Caption #845

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:26 Caption #284

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:25 Caption #20

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:24 Caption #314

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:23 Caption #781

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:22 Caption #634

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:21 Caption #846

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:20 Caption #285

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:19 Caption #79

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:18 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:17 Caption #911

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:16 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:15 Caption #291

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:14 Caption #365

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:13 Caption #369

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:12 Caption #152

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:11 Caption #804

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:10 Caption #836

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:09 Caption #479

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:08 Caption #629

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:07 Caption #756

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:06 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:05 Caption #861

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:04 Caption #756

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:03 Caption #-46

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:02 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:01 Caption #757

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:40:00 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:59 Caption #690

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:58 Caption #709

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:57 Caption #252

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:56 Caption #629

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:55 Caption #550

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:54 Caption #746

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:53 Caption #943

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:52 Caption #827

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:51 Caption #448

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:50 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:49 Caption #158

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:48 Caption #373

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:47 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:46 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:45 Caption #861

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:44 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:43 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:42 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:41 Caption #642

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:40 Caption #840

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:39 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:38 Caption #692

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:37 Caption #761

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:36 Caption #760

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:35 Caption #810

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:34 Caption #464

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:33 Caption #713

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:32 Caption #788

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:31 Caption #152

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:30 Caption #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:29 Caption #664

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:28 Caption #766

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:27 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:26 Caption #88

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:25 Caption #13

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:24 Caption #58

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:23 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:23 Caption #91

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:21 Caption #393

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:20 Caption #208

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:19 Caption #763

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:18 Caption #680

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:17 Caption #813

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:16 Caption #274

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:15 Caption #883

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:14 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:13 Caption #275

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:12 Caption #628

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:11 Caption #813

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:10 Caption #717

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:09 Caption #91

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:08 Caption #763

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:07 Caption #805

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:06 Caption #325

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:05 Caption #359

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:04 Caption #718

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:03 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:02 Caption #818

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:01 Caption #435

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:39:00 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:59 Caption #880

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:58 Caption #719

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:57 Caption #93

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:56 Caption #819

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:55 Caption #508

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:54 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:53 Caption #307

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:52 Caption #570

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:51 Caption #886

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:50 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:49 Caption #133

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:48 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:47 Caption #882

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:46 Caption #255

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:45 Caption #851

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:44 Caption #478

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:43 Caption #329

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:42 Caption #778

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:41 Caption #894

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:40 Caption #204

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:39 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:38 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:37 Caption #329

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:36 Caption #615

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:35 Caption #18

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:34 Caption #256

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:33 Caption #141

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:32 Caption #-21

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:31 Caption #72

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:30 Caption #401

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:29 Caption #209

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:28 Caption #874

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:27 Caption #800

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:26 Caption #141

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:25 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:24 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:23 Caption #457

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:22 Caption #172

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:21 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:20 Caption #81

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:19 Caption #85

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:18 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:17 Caption #27

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:16 Caption #272

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:15 Caption #233

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:14 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:13 Caption #43

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:12 Caption #44

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:11 Caption #112

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:10 Caption #101

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:09 Caption #-25

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:08 Caption #879

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:07 Caption #165

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:06 Caption #727

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:05 Caption #495

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:04 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:03 Caption #829

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:02 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:01 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:38:00 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:59 Caption #684

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:58 Caption #232

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:57 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:56 Caption #26

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:55 Caption #383

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:54 Caption #196

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:53 Caption #809

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:52 Caption #232

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:51 Caption #679

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:50 Caption #81

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:49 Caption #616

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:48 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:47 Caption #334

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:46 Caption #-29

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:45 Caption #643

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:44 Caption #954

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:43 Caption #451

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:42 Caption #872

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:41 Caption #335

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:40 Caption #-30

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:39 Caption #832

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:38 Caption #955

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:37 Caption #644

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:36 Caption #476

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:35 Caption #107

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:34 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:33 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:32 Caption #800

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:31 Caption #645

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:30 Caption #581

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:29 Caption #108

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:28 Caption #862

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:27 Caption #85

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:26 Caption #620

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:25 Caption #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:24 Caption #83

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:23 Caption #536

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:22 Caption #863

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:21 Caption #86

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:20 Caption #621

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:19 Caption #647

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:18 Caption #233

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:17 Caption #109

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:16 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:15 Caption #470

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:14 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:13 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:12 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:11 Caption #103

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:10 Caption #715

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:09 Caption #789

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:08 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:07 Caption #58

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:06 Caption #593

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:05 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:04 Caption #31

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:03 Caption #247

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:02 Caption #317

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:01 Caption #586

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:37:00 Caption #330

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:59 Caption #113

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:58 Caption #90

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:57 Caption #105

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:56 Caption #206

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:55 Caption #668

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:54 Caption #-38

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:53 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:52 Caption #214

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:51 Caption #147

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:50 Caption #795

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:49 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:48 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:47 Caption #875

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:46 Caption #331

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:45 Caption #366

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:44 Caption #13

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:43 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:42 Caption #736

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:41 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:40 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:39 Caption #295

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:38 Caption #347

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:37 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:36 Caption #122

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:35 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:34 Caption #60

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:33 Caption #418

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:32 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:31 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:30 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:29 Caption #232

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:28 Caption #351

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:27 Caption #190

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:26 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:25 Caption #-43

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:24 Caption #673

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:23 Caption #722

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:22 Caption #352

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:21 Caption #191

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:20 Caption #627

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:19 Caption #-44

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:18 Caption #674

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:17 Caption #722

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:16 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:15 Caption #94

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:14 Caption #404

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:13 Caption #-44

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:12 Caption #849

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:11 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:10 Caption #633

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:09 Caption #96

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:08 Caption #405

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:07 Caption #478

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:06 Caption #850

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:05 Caption #355

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:04 Caption #633

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:03 Caption #853

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:02 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:01 Caption #479

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:36:00 Caption #851

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:59 Caption #214

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:58 Caption #195

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:57 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:56 Caption #597

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:55 Caption #144

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:54 Caption #427

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:53 Caption #813

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:52 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:51 Caption #855

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:50 Caption #98

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:49 Caption #679

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:48 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:47 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:46 Caption #834

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:45 Caption #240

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:44 Caption #-13

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:43 Caption #856

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:42 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:41 Caption #755

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:40 Caption #478

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:39 Caption #359

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:38 Caption #430

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:37 Caption #657

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:36 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:35 Caption #198

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:34 Caption #496

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:33 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:32 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:31 Caption #856

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:30 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:29 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:28 Caption #602

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:27 Caption #361

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:26 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:25 Caption #658

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:24 Caption #859

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:23 Caption #825

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:22 Caption #415

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:21 Caption #721

Mr. Noname Lurker 02:35:20 Caption #684

Board

[Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.

<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?

<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.

<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....

<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing

<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.

<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?

<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!

<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...

<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.

<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?

<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)

<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.

<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.

<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.

<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.

<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.

<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post