Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - WHAT I DID OVER THE WEEKEND DAY - 03/14/2004

by Mort

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: >

Last -->-->

What I did over the weekend by Mort
I spent my day like I spend most of my free days: at the botanical gardens.
The gardener Ulga -- her foul hygine was only surpassed by her gardening prowess -- asked if flowers reminded me of women's parts.

I replied that I had never actually had the chance to view a woman's 'private region'.
She laughed and dragged me heavily to the shadows behind the potting shed. I stood, my mouth agape, as she lifted up her rough skirt and showed me beneath. 'First you must rid me of my pests.' she said.
I grimaced as I plucked mites one by one from their hairy nest, and squashed their heads between my fingers.

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to coax a family of apes out of her ass.

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 460 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:32 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:31 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:30 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:29 Caption #265

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:28 Caption #678

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:25 Caption #583

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:23 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:22 Caption #745

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:19 Caption #796

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:18 Caption #750

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:17 Caption #942

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:16 Caption #635

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:15 Caption #398

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:14 Caption #626

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:13 Caption #624

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:12 Caption #723

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:11 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:10 Caption #469

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:09 Caption #591

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:08 Caption #163

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:07 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:06 Caption #914

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:05 Caption #168

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:04 Caption #776

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:03 Caption #782

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:02 Caption #430

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:01 Caption #831

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:10:00 Caption #776

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:59 Caption #20

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:58 Caption #500

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:57 Caption #419

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:56 Caption #727

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:55 Caption #69

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:54 Caption #874

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:53 Caption #907

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:52 Caption #203

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:51 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:50 Caption #215

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:49 Caption #483

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:48 Caption #297

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:47 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:46 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:45 Caption #869

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:44 Caption #235

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:43 Caption #270

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:42 Caption #590

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:41 Caption #838

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:40 Caption #454

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:39 Caption #549

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:36 Caption #678

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:31 Caption #704

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:27 Caption #144

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:26 Caption #578

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:25 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:24 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:23 Caption #136

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:20 Caption #41

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:19 Caption #725

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:18 Caption #701

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:17 Caption #206

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:16 Caption #265

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:15 Caption #759

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:14 Caption #125

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:13 Caption #360

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:12 Caption #599

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:11 Caption #416

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:10 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:09 Caption #366

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:06 Caption #501

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:05 Caption #745

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:04 Caption #257

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:09:00 Caption #533

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:59 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:58 Caption #427

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:57 Caption #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:56 Caption #627

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:55 Caption #610

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:54 Caption #272

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:53 Caption #445

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:52 Caption #266

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:51 Caption #504

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:50 Caption #365

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:49 Caption #514

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:48 Caption #507

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:47 Caption #756

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:46 Caption #492

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:45 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:44 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:43 Caption #966

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:42 Caption #297

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:41 Caption #337

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:40 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:39 Caption #275

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:38 Caption #728

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:37 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:36 Caption #256

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:35 Caption #187

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:31 Caption #647

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:30 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:29 Caption #297

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:28 Caption #150

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:27 Caption #836

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:26 Caption #150

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:25 Caption #832

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:24 Caption #614

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:22 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:21 Caption #570

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:20 Caption #252

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:19 Caption #385

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:18 Caption #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:17 Caption #51

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:16 Caption #277

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:15 Caption #503

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:12 Caption #262

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:11 Caption #543

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:10 Caption #424

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:09 Caption #742

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:08 Caption #345

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:07 Caption #708

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:06 Caption #282

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:05 Caption #449

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:03 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:08:00 Caption #872

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:59 Caption #635

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:58 Caption #540

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:57 Caption #278

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:56 Caption #638

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:55 Caption #603

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:54 Caption #251

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:53 Caption #435

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:52 Caption #647

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:51 Caption #801

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:50 Caption #74

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:49 Caption #205

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:48 Caption #36

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:47 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:46 Caption #618

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:45 Caption #18

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:44 Caption #399

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:43 Caption #22

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:42 Caption #516

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:41 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:40 Caption #595

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:38 Caption #106

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:36 Caption #337

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:33 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:32 Caption #416

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:31 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:30 Caption #103

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:29 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:28 Caption #595

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:27 Caption #21

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:26 Caption #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:25 Caption #524

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:24 Caption #965

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:23 Caption #35

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:22 Caption #764

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:21 Caption #58

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:20 Caption #201

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:19 Caption #285

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:18 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:17 Caption #78

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:16 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:15 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:14 Caption #38

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:13 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:12 Caption #161

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:11 Caption #459

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:10 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:09 Caption #968

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:08 Caption #830

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:07 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:06 Caption #68

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:05 Caption #26

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:04 Caption #948

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:03 Caption #7

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:02 Caption #765

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:01 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:07:00 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:59 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:58 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:57 Caption #875

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:56 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:55 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:54 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:53 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:52 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:50 Caption #111

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:49 Caption #501

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:48 Caption #881

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:46 Caption #254

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:45 Caption #514

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:41 Caption #193

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:40 Caption #369

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:39 Caption #88

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:38 Caption #584

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:36 Caption #94

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:30 Caption #831

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:27 Caption #768

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:26 Caption #-23

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:25 Caption #888

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:24 Caption #939

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:23 Caption #158

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:22 Caption #790

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:20 Caption #395

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:19 Caption #864

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:18 Caption #-11

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:17 Caption #798

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:16 Caption #-29

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:15 Caption #553

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:14 Caption #464

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:13 Caption #150

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:12 Caption #412

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:11 Caption #171

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:08 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:07 Caption #303

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:06 Caption #872

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:05 Caption #766

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:04 Caption #487

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:03 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:06:02 Caption #827

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:59 Caption #154

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:57 Caption #383

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:53 Caption #352

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:52 Caption #937

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:50 Caption #701

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:49 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:48 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:47 Caption #127

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:46 Caption #748

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:44 Caption #226

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:43 Caption #287

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:42 Caption #299

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:40 Caption #579

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:39 Caption #205

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:38 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:36 Caption #29

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:35 Caption #825

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:34 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:33 Caption #271

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:31 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:30 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:29 Caption #757

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:27 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:26 Caption #270

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:24 Caption #556

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:23 Caption #260

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:22 Caption #508

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:20 Caption #727

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:18 Caption #353

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:17 Caption #681

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:16 Caption #96

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:14 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:13 Caption #53

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:11 Caption #106

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:09 Caption #689

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:08 Caption #193

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:07 Caption #345

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:05 Caption #107

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:03 Caption #271

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:02 Caption #696

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:01 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:05:00 Caption #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:59 Caption #536

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:58 Caption #221

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:57 Caption #301

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:56 Caption #301

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:55 Caption #387

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:51 Caption #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:50 Caption #911

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:49 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:48 Caption #146

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:47 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:46 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:45 Caption #603

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:44 Caption #575

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:42 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:41 Caption #27

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:40 Caption #397

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:39 Caption #884

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:37 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:36 Caption #222

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:35 Caption #406

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:32 Caption #797

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:31 Caption #673

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:30 Caption #168

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:29 Caption #731

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:26 Caption #461

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:25 Caption #117

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:24 Caption #621

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:23 Caption #58

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:22 Caption #-6

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:21 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:20 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:18 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:15 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:13 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:12 Caption #480

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:11 Caption #763

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:10 Caption #514

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:09 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:08 Caption #962

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:07 Caption #79

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:06 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:05 Caption #418

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:04 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:03 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:02 Caption #672

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:04:01 Caption #274

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:59 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:58 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:57 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:56 Caption #671

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:55 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:54 Caption #324

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:53 Caption #516

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:52 Caption #370

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:51 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:50 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:49 Caption #109

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:47 Caption #752

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:44 Caption #862

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:43 Caption #161

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:42 Caption #575

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:41 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:40 Caption #674

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:37 Caption #655

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:36 Caption #413

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:35 Caption #822

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:34 Caption #860

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:32 Caption #108

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:31 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:30 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:29 Caption #262

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:28 Caption #546

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:27 Caption #23

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:26 Caption #794

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:22 Caption #357

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:21 Caption #39

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:17 Caption #729

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:16 Caption #151

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:14 Caption #728

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:13 Caption #155

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:12 Caption #9

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:11 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:10 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:07 Caption #678

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:06 Caption #912

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:05 Caption #659

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:04 Caption #337

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:02 Caption #133

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:03:01 Caption #749

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:58 Caption #423

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:57 Caption #536

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:56 Caption #299

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:55 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:53 Caption #186

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:51 Caption #375

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:50 Caption #-39

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:49 Caption #-19

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:48 Caption #367

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:47 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:46 Caption #565

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:45 Caption #760

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:44 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:41 Caption #645

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:40 Caption #138

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:38 Caption #808

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:36 Caption #617

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:35 Caption #484

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:34 Caption #433

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:33 Caption #81

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:32 Caption #30

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:31 Caption #57

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:30 Caption #805

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:29 Caption #307

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:28 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:27 Caption #137

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:25 Caption #71

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:24 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:23 Caption #373

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:22 Caption #703

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:21 Caption #13

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:17 Caption #706

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:16 Caption #362

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:15 Caption #7

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:14 Caption #861

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:13 Caption #822

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:12 Caption #508

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:11 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:10 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:09 Caption #765

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:08 Caption #200

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:07 Caption #631

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:05 Caption #859

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:02 Caption #667

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:01 Caption #730

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:02:00 Caption #780

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:59 Caption #442

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:55 Caption #486

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:54 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:53 Caption #489

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:52 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:51 Caption #734

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:49 Caption #337

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:48 Caption #7

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:47 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:46 Caption #807

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:45 Caption #733

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:44 Caption #936

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:42 Caption #324

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:41 Caption #178

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:40 Caption #180

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:39 Caption #828

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:36 Caption #432

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:35 Caption #645

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:34 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:33 Caption #820

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:32 Caption #284

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:31 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:30 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:29 Caption #798

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:28 Caption #163

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:25 Caption #525

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:23 Caption #240

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:21 Caption #151

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:20 Caption #623

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:18 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:17 Caption #398

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:16 Caption #588

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:15 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:14 Caption #277

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:13 Caption #124

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:12 Caption #623

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:10 Caption #836

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:09 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:08 Caption #917

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:03 Caption #694

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:02 Caption #161

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:01:00 Caption #681

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:58 Caption #458

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:56 Caption #917

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:53 Caption #572

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:52 Caption #964

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:51 Caption #171

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:50 Caption #446

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:49 Caption #438

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:48 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:47 Caption #779

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:45 Caption #291

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:44 Caption #659

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:43 Caption #-46

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:42 Caption #369

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:41 Caption #837

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:40 Caption #142

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:38 Caption #91

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:37 Caption #83

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:35 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:33 Caption #427

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:00:32 Caption #16

Board

[Post Message]

As you might have noticed: I have switched the theme day from Thursday to Monday, to better balance the week. If you are confused, let me remind you that today is Monday and not Thursday, although I wish it was not so...

The object of this theme: Write about your weekend in such a way to match the images and hopefully entertain.

What actually happened this weekend.

It's odd that a voice, or a word said in certain way, can bring back memories quicker than anything else. You hear a familar voice across a crowded room, someone you have not heard in years; and the feelings you had at your last meeting come back to you like a deep unstoppable current.

This weekend it happened to me. The format was a dream: A telephone rang twice, I picked it up, she asked "hello?", I answered "hi", then a meaninful silence that lasted a minute before waking me up.

I shook it off, pushed back the feeling and the memories that the sound of her voice in my dream invoked. In the morning I woke to the sounds of an actual phone ringing, just like my dream I picked it up and asked "Hello?". Just like my dream: silence. This time I could nothing to stop the painful memories and emotions, from spreading like jaundice from the blight buried deep within my kidney.

It was a weekend, like this one past, but two years ago. Driving home at night, she fed me chocolate covered Poki that we had just bought from the Japanese supermarket. She was wearing the thick, woolen, white sweater that I had just bought her from the gap, singing along to The Smiths: girlfriend in a coma, which had just started to play on the radio.

My memory then becomes a slideshow, bright shots etched in forever with nothing in between: A dog running in the street, her hand pointing, my white knuckles on the wheel, the pole. Then just voices, audio catching up with the video: "breathe into the mask", "we're going to take her out first", "try to stay calm", "bring the cutters here".

Then I remember waking up deathly cold, shaking. With blurred vision I recognized the inside of an ambulance, the shaking was not me but the ambulance rushing through the streets to it's destination. I looked to my left and saw someone else in the other cot. I was a stranger, she wore a red sweater and had white hair. I wondered if I had hit her with my car, I thought it was strange that she should be in the same ambulance as me.

"Your girlfriends in a coma", the ambulance man said when he noticed my eyes were open.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I replied curtly. I looked back at her again, my eyes seeing clearly now, her hair was not white it was bandages, and her sweater was not red, it was soaked with blood -- her blood. "She's my wife." I stammered before passing out.

When I came around again I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. I looked again to my left, through the double doors of the emergency room I saw my wife lying on a cart, all alone. I wondered why they were bothering so much with me, when she was more obviously hurt. I began to ask them to leave me alone and attend to her instead, but a nurse put a mask over my face and a doctor said "take him to OR".

When I woke I was in a recovery room, a surgeon was reading my chart, and talking to me like I could understand. He told me I had been very lucky, that I should have died, that they had to remove both of my kidneys, that I had a very rare blood type, that I was fortunate that they had found a donor that could give me a kidney and three pints of blood. I asked him about my wife, he said he was sorry but she had passed away as soon as she reached the hospital. I became angry, I told him that I was sorry they had let me live. He replied that it was my wife that had let me live, it was she who carried the donor card, it was her kidneys that were now in my body.

This is why her voice even in a dream affects me so, she is part of me now, I have no chance of letting her go.

There are 19 messages for this day.

<Eggs Ackley> How about Mort's Now Gone Totally Mental Day?

<Mark> I recommend Scotch. Seriously.

<Mark> I just read Mort's entry on the pics.

I think I'm going to have the Scotch now ..

<guyPaulo> I'm having a hard time with these photo's today....

<Pedro Gonzales> It's a tranquil monday here today, very quiet. Pretty relaxing

<Mort> Oops sorry, must stop huffing Kool-Aid.

<Kumiho> Um... does this mean Mrs. Mort (aka Morticia) is no more?

<Kumiho> Hey Lauren, here's your chance!

<guyPaulo> I hope this photo is on MEP tomorrow:
...story.news.yahoo.com...

<Mort> I hope this one does more:
...us.news2.yimg.com...
Morticia is very well thank you very much, it's just a story.
All characters are fictional, any resemblence to real persons, past of present, is purely coincidental.

<guyPaulo> "You hope"? I thought YOU were the cruel overlord who dictates the context of our lives by judiciously selecting the photos to put up here, Mort. Are you telling us that someone else is really pullings the strings behind the MEP curtain?

<Cookieus Hackus> Really, I get up pretty early (eastern USA time) and the photo selection here usually bears little to no resemblance to the actual top 3 at yahoo, so I always assumed there was a lot of lattitude in the selection process. :)

<Mort> There is a whole day's lattitude with the selection of the photos. I also try to cut down the number of duplicates now.

<Cookieus Hackus> I wasn't complaining, BTW. It's always interesting to see what ones make the cut.

<Kumiho> I thank you for the reduced number of repeats myself.

<Mort> I think I messed up the 3rd image today. There is a subtle art to picking the right images, I am on the cusp of understanding.

<guyPaulo> If I might venture a guess Mort, I think that the combination of a theme day with the very specific nature of the first two photos led to a slow day so far today. Its hard to write about what you did over the weekend involving a plant and a bat. We can always throw in a "monkie" joke at the end, so I don't think the 3rd photo was the problem.

<obtuse> Theme day + similar images = difficult

Even without theme day, three images with similarity (nature) doesn't leave much room for creative improvisation.

<Kumiho> eh, it's only hard to write captions if you haven't got at least one pix of a half naked chick/beefcake.

Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post