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Most Emailed Photos HAIKU DAY - 03/03/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Visiting the zoo

a mother giraffe showed love,

the baby shivered.

Seeing gas prices,

it's place in the world unsure --

reality hit.

Who will stop George Bush?

Afganistan then Iraq,

who will be the next?


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Haiku Day

The rules are simple...
you write yourself a haiku,
then you caption it.

I have difficulties in a large number of things, mostly things that involve writing and reading. It might seem strange to you then that I should host a website dedicated to creative -- and sometime amusing -- writing.

For one -- I am dyslexic, not strongly so, but enough to slow me down and cause me to reread and self-flagellate. For two -- I have a blind spot for writing poetry, I strangely lack the ability to count syllables, or to stick to a consistant meter.

To put it concisely: I have a tough time writing a haiku.

I also have a tough time drawing hands and faces, to solve this issue I decided to keep on drawing hands and faces until I was satisfied -- thus the reason for haiku day.

Enjoy. (I didn't so much)

There are 43 messages for this day.
<guyPaulo> Good theme. Sadly, I'll be away most of the day though....
<Carol> It is sad, because "explosive diarrhea" has 7 syllables.
<Carol> "Honku, the Zen antidote to road rage":
<Stormi> um... haiku is 5/7/5 right?
<Lauren> Count the syllables
In most of the captioning
It's done correctly
<Stormi> Thank you dear Lauren
Your assistance is helpful
now I should caption.
<Lauren> Much too sweet for words
Excellent at captioning
Stormi has it all
<Lauren> What we need now is
A day for haiku comments
How about it, Mort?
<Stormi> Laughing out loud I
thank you for the compliment
but haiku is hard!
<Mort> It takes me too long
to write in this haiku style --
arghhhh brain smoldering!
<3Suns> Sometimes seventeen
syllables just aren't enough
to express a com-
<Lauren> I know what you mean
Some of my thoughts are longer
not fit for haiku
<Lauren> I have to say that
Today's captions are teh bomb
Monkies like limits
<Stormi> not sure if limits
I like but the challenge is
something to accept
<mrs. mort> Please stop posting now
I want my husband back home
The garbage is full
<Stormi> whooo... I think we've been told.
<mrs. mort> :)
<Lauren> Sorry mrs mort
I see you are unaware
Mort belongs to us
<mrs. mort> 
Be careful Lauren
I know the server password
Do not make me act
Conflict arises!
Who will be victorius?
Monkey or Mrs?
<Stormi> Tickets, getchyer tickets here! Want some beer and popcorn while your at it?
<Lauren> I defer to her
In this case, might does make right
Mrs. mort prevails
<Lauren> Like Eddie Haskel
I am all smiles niceness
But please watch your back
<mrs. mort> 
You silly people
don't you know the big secret
there is no Mrs.
<mrs. mort> 
Mort invented me
because he was so lonely
sad tears stream down face
<Lauren, the victorious> My tactic has worked
mrs mort flees in terror
a nonentity
<mrs. mort> 
terror relative
a matter of perception
quiet power real
<Lauren> Come on you monkies
help me out a little here
Mort is one of us
<mrs. mort> 
how can it be true
one on the fringe has you beat
sharp words stab like knives
<ElvisThePelvis> Mrs. Mort Is Mort?
Revealed All Of His Fears Are
Must Stop Touching Self
<Lauren> I am quite peaceful
My heart is always open
It's easy to tear

Where is your glory
Being mean is too easy
Try being friendly

<mrs. mort> 
Do not think I flee
Like serpent slips to shadows
watching for new prey
<mrs. mort> 
Banter is now done
my meeting is awaiting
soft breeze now blows here
<Lauren to mrs mort> 
I have to go now
No more witty repartee
Nice chatting to you
<ajiav> that was fun to watch.
<3Suns> Friends, stop quibbling!.
Oh, Wait, this is Morticia
and Lauren? Catfight!!
<guyPaulo> I missed MEP today,
As I sat through boring sh*t
At today's meeting.

And when I came back
Its "Lauren versus Mrs. Mort"
Which is pretty cool.

Let's break out the tub,
And fill it with pudding fast!

<morticia (formerly mrs. mort)> morticia...sweet...I am adopting it for myself. Good one, 3Suns.

but I am going to pronounce it:


cause I am not a fan of the Adams Family.

<Jmofwiw> What go's ku-ku-ku,
A Haiku-ku Clock
<obtuse> HAIKU BATTLE!

*atomic suplex*
*whirling dervish powerbomb*
*a punch to the face*

<JulieK> I basically all
am hating the internet
it is retarded
<ElvisThePelvis> God, If you are listening, please put the insane man with the cell phone on MEP tomorrow. I promise I will stop killing kittens.
<GOD> O.K. You need to stop masterbating too though...

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