These are the captions I dreamt about, the ones I was not sure I actually thought up yesterday in zombie like state. They suddenly came back to me as I was napping on the couch, I guess the moral of this story is don't do your thinking on the edge of sleep.
The story isn't actually that funny, it's just absurd. I am a big fan of the absurd. Absurd as it might be it is a true story, well it is if you substitute evil step father with great dad. Also we didn't go to a safari zoo we went to the tiny island zoo that consisted of 2 goats, 3 terrapins, 1 dog with three legs and a monkey with one eye. I took pity on the monkey and I wanted to take it home with me to be raised to adult by a loving family of humans.
See it is all true.