[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 02/05/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

veGrAN 7EYevPAntYsWV
- - - - - - - - -

Are things falling APART around you?

Are you being put through the WRINGER by Creditors?

Is your DEBT spiralling out of CONTROL?


Start your HIPPO farm today!

- - - - - - - - -
x1M0N94 K1E308 cvPr0NH


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

Current Users

There have been 109 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:33Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:29Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:26Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:25Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:17Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:08Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:05Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker08:22:03Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:56Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:46Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:44Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:36Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:30Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:27Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:24Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:23Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:09Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:04Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:58Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:56Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:53Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:44Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:38Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:36Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:27Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:23Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:14Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:06Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:03Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:59Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:58Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:56Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:43Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:39Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:30Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:28Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:23Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:22Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:19Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:09Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:02Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:00Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:55Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:52Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:42Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:38Caption #122
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:35Caption #905
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:22Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:20Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:02Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:01Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:58Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:47Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:46Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:42Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:41Caption #974
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:33Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:21Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:19Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:09Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:06Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:04Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:01Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:50Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:42Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:40Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:35Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:27Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:21Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:20Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:05Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:04Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:00Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:59Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:55Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:51Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:50Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:43Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:42Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:40Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:38Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:27Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:19Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:11Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:59Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:57Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:45Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:39Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:28Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:19Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:12Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:58Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:54Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:51Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:42Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:41Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:38Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:34Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:33Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:32Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:30Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:28Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:18Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:05Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:57Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:47Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:45Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:44Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:37Caption #842

Board [Post Message]

Yesterday I felt like I was inked by the Despair Squid, causing major hallucinations on my drive home over the dangerously twisting Topanga Canyon drive. Images of crashing purposely into a pole, so just maybe, I could grab ten minutes of happiness with someone before my lights went out. Or images of setting fire to everything I hold dear, including this website. Luckily the effects of the squid's ink ran out when I got home.

Also luckily I am off to Bend Oregon for the weekend, to be with family and to snowboard. I think I will enjoy it so very much. I will be laughing with glee as I uncontrollably fall down a black diamond run with gay abandon, smacking into a pole at the bottom with gay irony.

I will be back on Monday night. They have internet access so I should be able to put captions up on Sunday, I just will not be my usual chatty self on Monday.

There are 39 messages for this day.
<Mort> For some reason on my browser the font on the last two days of mostemailed has been a lot bigger. Can you all skip back 3 days and make sure it looks ok on your browsers?
<guyPaulo> I'm fine here Mort. Its that damn open-source Mozilla browser of yours.
<3Suns> Works fine for me with Mozilla Firebird on Windows, and it worked last night with Galeon/Mozilla on Linux.
<Hey, You There.> No two headed baby?
<guyPaulo> Mort is a cynical soul for sure, but I don't think he'll use the baby photo for this site. That's just a little too extreme.
<Julie> That hippo bottle looks RADIOACTIVE
<yoyology> For those who haven't read yesterday's front page since 20:30 CST:

I have an orkut [ ...www.orkut.co... ] membership, and I'd like to invite anyone who wants to join to send an e-mail to orko [ATT] yoyology [DAWT] com, and I'll invite you. If you are already an orkut member, please consider joining the Mostemailed Community. It's under "Computers and Internet"

<Mort> The font is kinda wacky on Camino in OS X, works find on Firebird on windows for me. Firebird has to be the best browser ever.
Even if the two headed baby has a million dollar Vegas stage show, it ain't appearing on my website.
<3Suns> Yes, Firebird is but 2 features shy of being the best browser ever... 1) the ability to remove the little down-arrow tabs next to the back and next buttons (right-clicking on the buttons also works for this semi-rare task) and 2) an "up" button for the toolbar to go up a directory.
<3Suns> Mort, are you discriminating against deformed infants?
<Mort> Dammit 3Suns now I have to spend an hour or so working out how to remove those little arrows. I can move anywhere in my history by right mouse clicking and moving my mouse wheel. I never hit those buttons on top.
<Mort> 3Suns what skin do you use? I have removed those damn buttons on mine.
<yoyology> You know, I didn't realize that you could right-click and get the history list. It works in IE too.

Here at the library, our patron PCs have right-click disabled in IE. The only way to get to the history is with those little buttons. I teach folks about them in our classes, and they're just amazed.

Keep in mind that not everyone uses the Web the same way you do.

<Mort> Looking at the logs of this website always reminds me that people use the web differently.
Newbies always find that "Add alternative Caption" button so damn attractive. Also they click on Last four times and First five times in a row, never once clicking on the little arrows.
<3Suns> Mort: Oh, I had no idea that the skin mattered, I just use the default one. Which one works for you?

Yoyo: I wasn't suggesting that they be removed altogether, although disabling right-clicking is rather silly. Many browsers like Galeon allow you to remove them if you want.

<3Suns> Mort: I would say that the first/last problem is because they are reversed from what is common on other webcomic sites, and from what is intuitive. Most sites have [<<][][>>] for their button order, which should be in chronological order (first, previous, next, latest). You have the first button coming after the previous button, which is a bit nonstandard.
<Mort> 3Suns, send me an email and I will send you a file and tell you how to do it.

Disabling right click in a library where anyone can use the computer makes perfect sense.

<guyPaulo> I use the latest version of Mozilla at work and at home now. Its a little weird how many monkies here use "alternative" browsers, given the overall percentage of folks still using Internasty Exploder to surf the web.
<yoyology> Is an "alternative" browser one that skins all your websites with plaid flannel and torn denim?
<Jellyloo> All the buttons on that browser would be dog collar spikes rendered like chrome.
<Mort> I made my own browser skin once. It was all beautifully done in photoshop and painstakingly put together.
But then they changed the skin format on me and I gave up.
I would like one where all the buttons are quirky birds, and all the surrounds look like dark twisted cage metal.
<Mort> I see the point about the button order.
Maybe I will switch it around to be more standard.
<Jellyloo> I have no trouble with the buttonage. Buttonry. Button thingies.
<Mort> I never use buttons anymore. I just slip my shirts over my head all done up, and wiggle my head through, like some kinda kid. I am wearing my red shirt today, because someone told me twice I looked good in red.

I also messed up the lines of my beard so I am back to a goatee.

<beard police> you have the right to remain silent... any beard you shave will be held against you...
<ajiav> being blonde, facial hair is not something i am successful with. i just look like my face is dirty.
<yoyology> Remember, the beard you shave may be your own!
<Mort> It's a fair cop! You caught me red handed! At least you don't know about the waxing.
<beard police> That is not my Jurisdiction...
<Southern Beard Police> He is in our jurisdiction now, he has severally broken the pubic code!
<Forlorn Beard Investigations> We are working on a similar case concerning a rash of folicle robberies.
<The US Waxing Authority> You with the NADS on your chin... up against the wall with your hands up and your legs spread.
<Lauren> Hey, mort, do I spot some secret messages in your random text?
<Mort> Is anything truly random?
<Lauren> Where is mountaineer? I believe the messages might be for her.
<MLimburg> oooh! cow in bank photo!
oooh! tiger licking cub photo!

oh, the possibilities ..

<Starbug> Have fun bending oregon! Don't break anything.
<obtuse> I see the both messages, but for a while I thought the first was "vegan eye pants"!
<3Suns> ...story.news.yahoo.com... looks like a scene from the Jerry Bruckheimer remake of "Chicken Run"

Post message:

Click the monkey to post