The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname	Lurker	19:25:25	Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verb	Caption Monkie	18:02:57	Alternatiphized #23
Mr. Noname	Lurker	23:59:00	drooled over #3
Mr. Noname	Lurker	23:55:29	drooled over #32
Mr. Noname	Lurker	23:47:09	drooled over #7

There have been 41 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:39:27	Main Page
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:39:08	Caption #214
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:38:59	Caption #13
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:38:54	Caption #11
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:38:50	Caption #7
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:38:44	Caption #2
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:37:49	Caption #16
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:37:44	Main Page
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:37:37	Caption #34
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:37:20	Caption #11
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:37:16	Caption #618
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:36:53	Caption #331
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:36:26	Caption #1
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:36:23	Caption #33
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:35:55	Main Page
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:35:36	Caption #32
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:35:14	Caption #1
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:35:09	Caption #9
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:34:58	Caption #564
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:34:55	Caption #190
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:34:44	Caption #512
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:34:16	Caption #2
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:34:02	Caption #3
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:34:00	Caption #17
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:33:42	Caption #6
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:33:13	Caption #12
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:33:08	Caption #0
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:32:24	Caption #2
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:32:14	Caption #521
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:31:58	Main Page
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:31:45	Caption #5
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:31:31	Caption #14
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:31:24	Caption #695
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:31:18	Caption #16
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:31:01	Caption #12
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:30:45	Caption #661
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:30:26	Caption #15
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:30:24	Caption #0
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:29:53	Caption #25
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:29:43	Caption #71
Mr. Noname	Lurker	09:29:28	Caption #4

So here I am in my father-in-laws, without a single tool to manipulate images or connect securely to unix.

One thing my father-in-law does have though, is a very cool cat, I have nasty red lacerations all over my body to prove how playful he is. You might not know that I am deadly allergic to cats, another thing you might not know is that I have a stupid tendency to throw common sense out of the window and play with cats...

So Saturday night became sort of strange, in a kind of itchy, sneezy and deadly wheezing way. I also brought my empty asthma inhaler to Oregon, which made it very hard for me to go to sleep, instead I (using my allergy infected brain) had many weird but connected dreams. Here is my dream log:

1 am, finally managed to fall asleep, I dreamt that I had an email from Carol on mostemailed.com. Suddenly as I read it I was at her house, which was a wonderful rose covered cottage. We sat and had tea together, which is strange since I hate tea, she was a 20 something version of Miss Marple. I woke up at 1:30am wheezing.

1:50am fell asleep again, this time I had an email from guyPaulo, again I was dragged (screaming) to his house. He lived on a farm, he was dressed like a hick with a straw coming out of his mouth. We talked about the price of pigs and the uses of chicken gizzards, he made innuendos about pigs and chicken gizzards. I woke up at 2:10am wheezing and wondering why I was dreaming all this.

Fell asleep again at 2.15am, this time I had an email from Lauren, and I was zapped to her very cool brown stone townhouse. Inside it had the most marvelous floors and moldings, Lauren was rollerskating around leaving mad wheel marks on the wood floor. I woke myself up again by coughing.

Once more I managed to fall asleep at around 2:45am, and once more I had an email, this one from Mountaineer. I found myself in a very cozy Mongolian tent/hut made out of Yak skins, there was a large fire inside and Mountaineer gave me a cup of tea with fermented yak butter in, which is again strange since I don't like tea... We toasted a few marshmallows on the fire then she said we needed to spy. So we looked outside the tent and saw a hoard of Mongoloids majestically sweeping across the plains. I woke up again sweating and wheezing.

I fell asleep about 10 minutes later. I received another email. This time I was in a car chase, on the streets of San Francisco I think, the cars were all 1970's Cadilacesque. We were chasing a serial killer, I saw him in the car driving next to me, he looked very intense. I automatically assumed it was Yoyology.

I woke up, it was 4am, and I couldn't make myself sleep anymore after that nightmare and the wheezing in my lungs. So instead I went online to write cryptic comments in peoples livejournals.

Sorry for the bad spelling and grandma.

For the sake of accuracy in your dreams, I must tell you that I do live in a townhouse in the center of a large east coast city. However, my floors are carpeted and the walls are mostly wood (one wall in the living room is brick). There are no moldings anywhere in the house, but I do have an Eames wood burning stove in the living room. The place was designed and built in 1927 by Architect George Daub in a style that is a cross between Art Deco and Mission. It is really cool.

I never knew you could go anywere to buy "half a dog"

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