[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 12/14/2003 by Mort
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Dave, I know what you are asking? How did I deal with going from living in huge palaces, to hiding out in holes in the ground?

I used to sit there in the dark, all cold and alone...

I took to making little statues of myself out of mud and ordering rats to hide my weapons of mass destruction.

But cockroaches started invading my hole in their little tanks...

So that's when I decided to come out in the open and release my new Christmas CD, with Celine Dion.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
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apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
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Board [Post Message]

I feel like a ludite today, both my apple powerbook and my replayTv are in for servicing. Leaving me sitting here on my good old trusty 133 mhz PC updating the website, while looking at the manual to work out just how you set a vcr to record Alias.

I can't just select Alias in the tv listings to record it?
I actually have to work out what time it's on?

I feel so 90s, even the Amish have better technology than this right?

There are 18 messages for this day.
<Luminaire> Good lordy, monkeys, did y'all wake up extra early? It's only 8 am and there are already ten captions!
<yoyology> I remember when being able to program the VCR was a badge of honor. It gave me incredible power over my parents, who hadn't a clue.

I will now proceed to be crotchety and complain that kids today have it too easy.
<Lauren> What power I lost to the new VCR's I regained when my folks bought a computer with all sorts of accessories they couldn't figure out. As soon as they had that down, my sisters and I chipped in and bought them a DVD/VCR combo. You just have to keep working to keep them in the dark, yoyo.
<yoyology> All of that is fine when you still live with them. As soon as you move out on your own, though, it becomes a burden. When you can't e-mail pictures to your mom because she uses AOL and can't figure out their arcane attachments procedure, suddenly it's a big headache.
<Lauren> Haven't lived with my parents for 30 years. They see me as their electronic help desk. Last year, they flew me down to Florida to show them how to install and use their new scanner. It was pretty much plug-n-play, but I got a free vacation out of it, lol.
<yoyology> Aha! That's a different story.
<Mort> Pretty good caption day. I wonder if you can keep it up all week with the same 3 images of Saddam?
<Lauren> Aw, Mort, and I was so hoping for Antonio Cassano's pic to pop up tomorrow!
<yoyology> I find it interesting that Uday/Qusay and Osama have shown up today. People are drawing connections, it seems.
<Lauren> Osama was on the page for a few hours. Was it the beard (if you cover the top half of Saddam's face in the first shot here today, he is a dead ringer for the Taliban leader) or the fact, as everyone knows, that the Iraqis were behind 911? I am researching migration to Malta, anyone got a better idea?
<Lauren> 'Hate' is a strong word;
it implies understanding.
'Fear' would be better.
<Lauren> I am beginning to feel like I am stuck in one of those sci fi stories where I am the only one left after some huge calamity of which I am unaware. Maybe you all moved and decided not to give me the new address....
<guyPaulo> Don't worry Lauren,
guyPaulo is here for you....
Please don't cry like that.
<Lauren> Eleven hundred
miles between us. Otherwise
I'd have to hug you.

I got stood up by my dog-walking buddy this morning at 5:30 and I have been getting answering machines whenever I call anyone. No one has called me back. With that and the state of MoPho, I was beginning to go mad. Mad I tell you. Thanks for being there, guyPaulo.

<guyPaulo> Haiku's are becoming popular again!
<yoyology> Haiku is the new black.
<Lauren> Damn, yoyo, I wish I'd said that.

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