Believe it or not, I used to be soooo incredibly fat. Here's a photo of me boarding the rear of the plane on my trip to Hawai.
Seriously, my left ass-check alone was, like, THIS wide.
But I finally found a diet plan that works! The Gumby System!
Yes, it's amazing how many calories you'll burn rowing a lead canoe while wearing fake breasts with big red nipples and being anally violated by a giant inflatable Gumby the entire time!
The challenge was to take the top 3
emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about
the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.
Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.
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