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Most Emailed Photos - 06/14/2004 by Mort
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I woke up this morning wanting to kill everything in the world,

like some kinda wild animal, giving anything that stood in my way a good licking,

but all I really want is a hug.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
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apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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I am starting a petition to make hugs legal tender in all the countries of the world. After that I will be pushing for National Give Mort Ten Dollars Day.

There are 11 messages for this day.
<Kumiho> Sorry am grumpy today. ::waves money In Mort's direction:: How come you don't have a donation button like a bunch of other website's Mort? I'd donate to the cause. (As long as you promise mischeif and mayhem as part of the bargin.)
<guyPaulo> If Mort wants money, all he has to do is put back up those banners he had last April 1st.
<Kumiho> ...those were real?
<Mort> Yes the banners were real, the revenue was not. I would never want ads or donations, $6.23 is not worth selling out for.
<apple juice is a verb> I had a complicated dream early this morning: one of those "running away from something" dreams, the climax of which involved my participation in a Hindi wedding ceremony.

The women and the men took turns doing gender specific dances and singing. When it came my turn to sing, I didn't know the words (naturally, being I was the only non-Hindustani present). One sympathetic participant tossed me a wallet, the inside of which, on a crumpled yellow post-it note, was written one word: Kirikana.

Is this a real word? What, if anything, does it mean?

<Carol> Didn't seem to match anything in Hindi but I got the following from an online Japanese converter.

Results for 'kiri': fog, mist; limits, end, bounds, period, place to leave off; paulownia tree; drill, auger

Results for 'kana': I wonder (id); how!, what!, alas!

<Carol> If you go with "drill, auger" for kiri, maybe it meant, "Oh no! I'm screwed!"
<ajiav> lol...from what i have been googling, there is some art technique called kirikana, which i think is like a gilding or leafing process, but i am not good enough with japanese to know for sure.

then, i thought maybe it actually were hindi, and my head had translated it into phoenetics i understood...so the closest hindi word i can find is pronounced 'kharakanaa,' which sounds like what I sung at the wedding, and the translator says it means 'to feel pinching pain,' or 'to run away secretly.' either way it was a strange dream.

<Kumiho> Maybe you're thinking that you secretly don't want the pinching pain of a big wedding?
<ajiav> I was at a big wedding a little over a week ago. It was traditional Western, and muy terrrible.
<obtuse> Hirigana and katakana are writing styles. Perhaps kirikana is SECRET HIDDEN FOG STYLE of writing.

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