[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 03/07/2004 by Mort
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Everytime I saw him my cavum di venus started to glisten.

Was it just his money? Or was his huge phallic car an indication of size?

Dammit! I just can't get his large package off my mind.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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Board [Post Message]


I am off work today, so I will be in and out.

I will still read and see everything, just in batches.

Beatrice: Don't forget your Lamb, keep the coded cables rolling, also continue to send microdots.

There are 25 messages for this day.
<David Byrden> Ooops
<3Suns> ...story.news.yahoo.com...

Tulip, introduced to Hawaii last August, is trying to unseat Spam from its throne as Hawaii's undisputed king of canned luncheon meat since World War II.

So how is this under "Top Stories" ??

<mypalmike> It's all special pre-election news coverage. We're supposed to associate Spam with the internet, thus Al Gore, thus Tipper Gore, which rhymes with Gipper... I'm sure you can see where this is going.
<guyPaulo> Its no less frivolous than the marijuana-frozen chicken story at
<mypalmike> Or the firehouse that caught on fire...
<mypalmike> By the way, great pun to start off the day, Mort.
<Lauren> Yes, Mort... you've still got teh funny.
<Mort> teh obvious pun.
<Lauren> Here's a little quiz for you all... I only got 17 out of 20 right, but still that was enough to put me above the vast majority of Americans.


<guyPaulo> I got 13 right......I'm so ashamed!
<Jmofwiw> I got 17, too. I looked at the results page and note that the average score for Americans is 12.66 for non-Americans it's 13.29. Given the trivial nature of many of the questions, I wonder if the difference of less than one point is even statistically significant. At any rate, they certainly do have an editorial slant to their test.
<morticia> 17....I am kind of ashamed...I think I should have scored higher. Stupid capital of New Zealand.
<3Suns> I got 18. Although I admit I used test logic to guess a lot of them, like the date of the Spanish civil war. And come on, the name of the Beatles' first venue isn't exactly important knowledge.
<Beatrice> Rudy got air sick all over the equipment stop cable delayed full stop
<David Byrden> A heartfelt thanks to Mel Gibson! Because until now, when I had the need to see men stripped, tortured, mutilated and flayed, I had to get expensive video tapes sent from Europe in plain brown envelopes.
<David Byrden> Woohoo! I scored 19 in the quiz! I win an American!
<guyPaulo> Bah! It's just a plot to make honest, God-fearing Americans feel ashamed for our lack of foreigner trivia. Who cares what the capital of Norway is? If anything important happened there anyway, Fox News would cover it for us!!! ;)
<H. Monkey> Suggestion for Mort: an RSS feed. Am willing to assist if desired.
<guyPaulo> I don't know to set up an RSS feed, but I do know how to convert HTML into XHTML 1.0 Strict (which is itself XML). If you need help with that end of it, Mort, let me know.

Good lord, maybe we can turn MEP into some bizarre, open-source project. Like Mozilla, but with funny captions about boobies.

<MLimburg> I was seriously thinking about writing up the concept of mostemailed as a module for XOOPS .. but then I ditched XOOPS as a development environment. But then, I restarted working on phpBB2 ... so it could fit in really quite well.
<3Suns> Yes David, you win an American. Here, take guyPaulo, he only scored a 13.
<guyPaulo> Doh! Stupid smarty-type people think you're SOOO MUCH SMARTER than the rest of us just because you know more stuff.
<Mort> I already encode MEP onto microdots and send it everyday to HQ on the moon.

The invasion has begun.

<Mort> What are the advantages of the RSS feed?
<David Byrden> Hey, I do a lot of XML and XSLT stuff....can I help?

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