[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 01/27/2004 by ElvisThePelvis
<--  First Choose an alternative caption: <  > Last   -->-->

How to please a Man? Show up naked, bring beer, don't have crabs.

How to please a woman? Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the superbowl for her, buy her jewelery, pretend you're interested in what she has to say.

How to please a duck? First make sure you grease up your dick...
(AFP)
(Reuters)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 367 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:31Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:30Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:29Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:28Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:27Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:26Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:25Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:23Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:21Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:17Caption #-16
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:14Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:10Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:09Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:07Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:06Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:04Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker04:26:02Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:57Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:56Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:54Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:50Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:49Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:47Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:46Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:45Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:44Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:43Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:42Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:41Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:40Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:37Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:35Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:33Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:30Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:29Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:26Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:24Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:22Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:17Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:14Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:12Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:09Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:07Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:06Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:05Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:04Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:03Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:02Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker04:25:01Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:58Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:57Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:54Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:50Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:45Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:44Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:43Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:42Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:41Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:40Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:38Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:33Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:32Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:31Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:29Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:27Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:26Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:24Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:23Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:22Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:21Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:20Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:19Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:17Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:16Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:13Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:10Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:07Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:05Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:04Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker04:24:02Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:58Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:56Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:54Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:51Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:49Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:48Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:47Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:45Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:43Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:42Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:37Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:36Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:35Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:34Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:33Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:32Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:31Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:30Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:29Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:27Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:26Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:25Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:24Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:23Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:22Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:21Caption #-67
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:20Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:19Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:18Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:13Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:10Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:09Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:08Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:07Caption #-49
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:06Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:05Caption #-38
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:04Caption #-35
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:03Caption #-66
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:02Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker04:23:01Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:57Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:56Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:55Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:53Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:51Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:50Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:49Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:46Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:45Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:44Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:41Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:40Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:39Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:37Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:35Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:33Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:32Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:31Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:30Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:29Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:27Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:26Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:23Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:22Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:20Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:18Caption #-31
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:17Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:16Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:13Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:10Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:06Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:05Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:02Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker04:22:01Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:58Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:57Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:56Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:55Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:54Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:53Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:52Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:51Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:50Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:49Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:48Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:47Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:46Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:45Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:44Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:41Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:40Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:39Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:38Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:37Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:36Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:34Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:33Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:31Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:30Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:28Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:27Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:26Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:25Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:24Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:23Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:22Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:21Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:20Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:19Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:17Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:13Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:12Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:11Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:10Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:09Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:08Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:06Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:05Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:04Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:03Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:02Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker04:21:01Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:58Caption #967
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:57Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:53Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:51Caption #-51
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:49Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:46Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:44Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:43Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:41Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:37Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:34Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:30Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:29Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:25Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:24Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:21Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:19Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:17Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:16Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:15Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:14Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:09Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:06Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:05Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:02Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker04:20:01Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:58Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:57Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:57Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:55Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:54Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:53Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:52Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:51Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:50Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:48Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:47Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:46Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:44Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:42Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:33Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:32Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:29Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:27Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:26Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:25Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:24Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:24Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:21Caption #754
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:20Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:19Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:18Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:17Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:15Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:14Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:11Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:10Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:09Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:08Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:07Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:06Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:05Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:04Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:02Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker04:19:00Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:59Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:57Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:56Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:55Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:54Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:53Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:52Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:51Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:50Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:49Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:46Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:44Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:43Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:41Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:40Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:39Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:38Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:37Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:34Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:33Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:30Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:29Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:28Caption #-21
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:25Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:23Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:21Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:19Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:17Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:16Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:13Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:11Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:10Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:09Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:08Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:07Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:06Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:04Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:03Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:02Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:01Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker04:18:00Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:59Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:58Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:57Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:56Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:55Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:53Caption #-19
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:51Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:50Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:48Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:46Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:45Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:43Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:41Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:40Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:38Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:37Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:36Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:34Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:29Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:28Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:26Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:24Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:23Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:20Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:18Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:16Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:15Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:13Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:12Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:11Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:10Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:09Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:08Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:07Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:06Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:05Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:04Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:03Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:02Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker04:17:00Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:59Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:58Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:57Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:56Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:55Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:54Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:53Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:50Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:46Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:45Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:43Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:42Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:38Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:35Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:33Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker04:16:31Caption #482

Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 20 comments for this caption.

<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<guyPaulo> There's some Adam Sandler song that goes: "Pretty Birdie in the Sky; if an egg can fit in there, why can't I"....
<apple juice is a verb> wow~!
<3Suns> It should be noted that the second caption's instructions shouldn't necessarily be followed in that order. In my experience, women don't necessarily like eating dinner with corpses.
<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hey look. I can double post.
<Lauren> LOVE it!!!
<Lauren> and your double posting is quite impressive as well.... I don't think I've ever seen one separated by so many comments.
<yoyology> Just for the record, I hate the f*ck*n SuperBowl. In college, a bunch of us got together and planned an Anti-SuperBowl party. One of the best guys in the dorm went home that week and was killed by his father, who then shot himself. The party became a wake, and now every year I remember James (aka Panama) on SuperBowl Sunday.
<ElvisThePelvis> uhhh....way to bum out my comment list. I hate sports in general. I wish teachers would be paid mega salaries...or librarians :)
<Mort> If you use duck fat to grease... then it gets even more sick and twisted.
<guyPaulo> Yeah, sports suck. Oddly enough, I enjoy bull-riding quite a bit. In that sport the bull is actually scored in the same manner as the human athletes.
<Roger Mexico> This must be geek heaven after all . . people who don't like sports & jocks! Actually, I've learned to be open minded - dwarf tossing is really OK, and Russian roulette has . . uh, it's 'moments.'
<This could be my name> I'm a big fan of Russian roulette as long as all the contestants are Republicans.
<Lauren> Roger, great comment.

Elvis, congrats on your HM.

<mypalmike> So, are there any sports fans here? I'm certainly not.

By the way, nasty caption. Funny, but nasty.

<Lauren> Not a sports fan, but I do like to watch the Super Bowl for the new commercials.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hmmm...I do like extreme coding....that's a sport right? And chess is rather exciting...I like robot wars but only because I like robots.

Hey i did get HM...cool.

<3Suns> I'm a sports fan, and a computer geek. And a New Englander to boot. So I root for the Sox, Pats, Celtics, and Bruins every year. But mostly just the Sox and the Pats.
<ElvisThePelvis> geek != hate sports

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:


Click the monkey to post