[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 01/27/2004 by ElvisThePelvis
<--  First Choose an alternative caption: <  > Last   -->-->

How to please a Man? Show up naked, bring beer, don't have crabs.

How to please a woman? Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the superbowl for her, buy her jewelery, pretend you're interested in what she has to say.

How to please a duck? First make sure you grease up your dick...
(AFP)
(Reuters)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 318 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:54Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:53Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:52Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:51Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:51Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:49Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:48Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:47Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:46Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:44Caption #989
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:43Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:42Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:41Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:40Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:39Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:38Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:37Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:36Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:34Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:33Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:32Caption #798
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:31Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:30Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:27Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:20Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:19Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:18Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:16Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:15Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:14Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:13Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:10Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:05Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:02Caption #982
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:01Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker04:45:00Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:59Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:58Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:57Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:56Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:55Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:54Caption #875
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:53Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:52Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:51Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:50Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:49Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:48Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:47Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:46Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:45Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:44Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:43Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:40Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:37Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:27Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:25Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:21Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:20Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:18Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:17Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:16Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:14Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:09Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:08Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:05Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker04:44:04Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:57Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:52Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:49Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:48Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:47Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:44Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:43Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:41Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:40Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:38Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:37Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:35Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:34Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:33Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:32Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:30Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:29Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:28Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:25Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:22Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:21Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:20Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:18Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:17Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:16Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:15Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:14Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:12Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:11Caption #-62
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:10Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:09Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:08Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:07Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:06Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:05Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:04Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:02Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:01Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker04:43:00Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:59Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:58Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:57Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:55Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:54Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:53Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:52Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:51Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:48Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:47Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:45Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:44Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:43Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:42Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:40Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:38Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:37Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:34Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:33Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:32Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:30Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:28Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:27Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:24Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:23Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:22Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:21Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:20Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:19Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:18Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:17Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:16Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:13Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:12Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:09Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:08Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:03Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker04:42:02Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:59Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:57Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:55Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:51Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:50Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:49Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:47Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:42Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:39Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:37Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:36Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:34Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:33Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:30Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:24Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:23Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:22Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:20Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:17Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker04:41:00Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:59Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:58Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:57Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:54Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:52Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:49Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:47Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:43Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:42Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:39Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:38Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:37Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:36Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:35Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:33Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:32Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:28Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:26Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:25Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:24Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:19Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:16Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:15Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:14Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:12Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:08Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:06Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:04Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:03Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:02Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker04:40:00Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:59Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:58Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:52Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:48Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:46Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:43Caption #-55
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:41Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:38Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:25Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:22Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:19Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:17Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:14Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:13Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:12Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:11Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:02Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker04:39:01Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:58Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:54Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:53Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:51Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:50Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:48Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:47Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:47Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:45Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:42Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:41Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:37Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:35Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:34Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:33Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:32Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:31Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:30Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:28Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:27Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:25Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:24Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:23Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:20Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:18Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:16Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:14Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:13Caption #908
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:08Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:06Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:04Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:03Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:02Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:01Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker04:38:00Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:59Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:57Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:52Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:51Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:50Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:49Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:48Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:47Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:45Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:39Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:38Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:37Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:36Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:35Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:33Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:31Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:28Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:27Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:26Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:22Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:20Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:18Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:14Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:13Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:12Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:10Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:09Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:08Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:04Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker04:37:00Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:59Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:56Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:54Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:52Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:50Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:47Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:44Caption #961
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:43Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:41Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:39Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:35Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:34Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:33Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:27Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:25Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:24Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:23Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:22Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:20Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:19Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:17Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:15Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:13Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:12Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:11Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:10Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:09Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:08Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:07Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:06Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:05Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:04Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:03Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:02Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker04:36:01Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker04:35:59Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker04:35:58Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker04:35:54Caption #651

Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 20 comments for this caption.

<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<guyPaulo> There's some Adam Sandler song that goes: "Pretty Birdie in the Sky; if an egg can fit in there, why can't I"....
<apple juice is a verb> wow~!
<3Suns> It should be noted that the second caption's instructions shouldn't necessarily be followed in that order. In my experience, women don't necessarily like eating dinner with corpses.
<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hey look. I can double post.
<Lauren> LOVE it!!!
<Lauren> and your double posting is quite impressive as well.... I don't think I've ever seen one separated by so many comments.
<yoyology> Just for the record, I hate the f*ck*n SuperBowl. In college, a bunch of us got together and planned an Anti-SuperBowl party. One of the best guys in the dorm went home that week and was killed by his father, who then shot himself. The party became a wake, and now every year I remember James (aka Panama) on SuperBowl Sunday.
<ElvisThePelvis> uhhh....way to bum out my comment list. I hate sports in general. I wish teachers would be paid mega salaries...or librarians :)
<Mort> If you use duck fat to grease... then it gets even more sick and twisted.
<guyPaulo> Yeah, sports suck. Oddly enough, I enjoy bull-riding quite a bit. In that sport the bull is actually scored in the same manner as the human athletes.
<Roger Mexico> This must be geek heaven after all . . people who don't like sports & jocks! Actually, I've learned to be open minded - dwarf tossing is really OK, and Russian roulette has . . uh, it's 'moments.'
<This could be my name> I'm a big fan of Russian roulette as long as all the contestants are Republicans.
<Lauren> Roger, great comment.

Elvis, congrats on your HM.

<mypalmike> So, are there any sports fans here? I'm certainly not.

By the way, nasty caption. Funny, but nasty.

<Lauren> Not a sports fan, but I do like to watch the Super Bowl for the new commercials.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hmmm...I do like extreme coding....that's a sport right? And chess is rather exciting...I like robot wars but only because I like robots.

Hey i did get HM...cool.

<3Suns> I'm a sports fan, and a computer geek. And a New Englander to boot. So I root for the Sox, Pats, Celtics, and Bruins every year. But mostly just the Sox and the Pats.
<ElvisThePelvis> geek != hate sports

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:


Click the monkey to post