[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos GUEST DAY! - 01/27/2004 by ElvisThePelvis
<--  First Choose an alternative caption: <  > Last   -->-->

How to please a Man? Show up naked, bring beer, don't have crabs.

How to please a woman? Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the superbowl for her, buy her jewelery, pretend you're interested in what she has to say.

How to please a duck? First make sure you grease up your dick...
(AFP)
(Reuters)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 406 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:21Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:20Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:19Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:18Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:17Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:16Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:15Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:14Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:13Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:21:06Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:58Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:57Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:56Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:55Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:54Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:53Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:52Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:51Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:50Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:49Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:48Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:47Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:46Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:45Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:44Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:43Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:42Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:41Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:40Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:39Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:38Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:37Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:36Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:35Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:34Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:33Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:32Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:31Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:30Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:29Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:28Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:27Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:26Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:25Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:24Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:23Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:22Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:21Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:20Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:19Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:18Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:17Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:16Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:15Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:14Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:13Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:12Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:11Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:10Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:09Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:08Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:07Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:06Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:05Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:04Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:03Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:02Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:01Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker22:20:00Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:59Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:58Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:57Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:56Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:55Caption #-2
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:54Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:53Caption #626
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:52Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:51Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:50Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:49Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:48Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:47Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:46Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:45Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:44Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:43Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:42Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:41Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:40Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:39Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:36Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:35Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:31Caption #394
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:19Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:10Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:06Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:05Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:04Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:03Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:02Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:01Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker22:19:00Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:59Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:58Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:57Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:56Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:55Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:54Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:53Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:52Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:51Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:50Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:49Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:48Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:47Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:46Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:45Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:44Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:43Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:42Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:41Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:40Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:39Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:38Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:37Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:36Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:35Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:34Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:33Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:32Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:31Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:30Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:29Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:28Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:27Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:26Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:25Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:24Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:23Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:22Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:21Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:20Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:19Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:18Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:17Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:16Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:15Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:14Caption #979
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:13Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:12Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:11Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:10Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:09Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:09Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:07Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:06Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:05Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:04Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:03Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:02Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:01Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker22:18:00Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:59Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:58Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:57Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:56Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:55Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:54Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:53Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:53Caption #950
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:51Caption #910
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:50Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:49Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:48Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:47Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:46Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:45Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:44Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:43Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:42Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:41Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:40Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:39Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:38Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:37Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:36Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:35Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:34Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:33Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:32Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:31Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:30Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:29Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:28Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:27Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:26Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:25Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:24Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:23Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:22Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:21Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:20Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:19Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:18Caption #382
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:17Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:16Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:15Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:14Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:13Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:12Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:11Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:10Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:09Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:08Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:07Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:06Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:05Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:04Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:03Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:02Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:01Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker22:17:00Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:59Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:58Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:57Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:56Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:55Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:54Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:53Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:52Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:52Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:50Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:49Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:48Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:47Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:46Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:45Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:44Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:43Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:42Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:41Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:40Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:39Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:38Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:37Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:36Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:35Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:34Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:33Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:32Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:31Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:30Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:29Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:28Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:27Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:26Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:25Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:24Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:23Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:22Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:21Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:20Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:19Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:18Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:17Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:16Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:15Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:14Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:13Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:12Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:11Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:10Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:09Caption #937
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:08Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:07Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:06Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:05Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:04Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:03Caption #384
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:02Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:01Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker22:16:00Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:59Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:58Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:57Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:56Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:55Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:54Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:53Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:52Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:51Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:50Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:49Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:48Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:47Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:46Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:45Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:44Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:43Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:42Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:41Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:40Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:39Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:38Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:37Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:36Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:35Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:34Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:33Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:32Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:31Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:30Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:29Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:28Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:27Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:26Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:25Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:24Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:23Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:22Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:21Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:20Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:19Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:18Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:17Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:16Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:15Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:14Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:13Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:12Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:11Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:10Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:09Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:08Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:07Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:06Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:05Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:04Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:03Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:02Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:01Caption #970
Mr. NonameLurker22:15:00Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:59Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:58Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:57Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:56Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:55Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:55Caption #627
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:49Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:47Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:38Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:37Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:36Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:34Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:32Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:14Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:12Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:10Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:06Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:05Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:04Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:03Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker22:14:00Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:54Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:53Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:52Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:47Caption #970
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:43Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:42Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:41Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:40Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:37Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:30Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:25Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:24Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:19Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:18Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:17Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:16Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:13Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker22:13:11Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:45Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:35Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:29Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:28Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:27Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:26Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:25Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:19Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:18Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:17Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:16Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:03Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:02Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:01Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker22:12:00Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:59Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:58Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:57Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:56Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:55Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:51Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:49Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:45Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:33Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker22:11:21Caption #955

Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 20 comments for this caption.

<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<guyPaulo> There's some Adam Sandler song that goes: "Pretty Birdie in the Sky; if an egg can fit in there, why can't I"....
<apple juice is a verb> wow~!
<3Suns> It should be noted that the second caption's instructions shouldn't necessarily be followed in that order. In my experience, women don't necessarily like eating dinner with corpses.
<ElvisThePelvis> Well, Mort requested dark in an earlier caption...I kind of ad libbed the disgusting part.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hey look. I can double post.
<Lauren> LOVE it!!!
<Lauren> and your double posting is quite impressive as well.... I don't think I've ever seen one separated by so many comments.
<yoyology> Just for the record, I hate the f*ck*n SuperBowl. In college, a bunch of us got together and planned an Anti-SuperBowl party. One of the best guys in the dorm went home that week and was killed by his father, who then shot himself. The party became a wake, and now every year I remember James (aka Panama) on SuperBowl Sunday.
<ElvisThePelvis> uhhh....way to bum out my comment list. I hate sports in general. I wish teachers would be paid mega salaries...or librarians :)
<Mort> If you use duck fat to grease... then it gets even more sick and twisted.
<guyPaulo> Yeah, sports suck. Oddly enough, I enjoy bull-riding quite a bit. In that sport the bull is actually scored in the same manner as the human athletes.
<Roger Mexico> This must be geek heaven after all . . people who don't like sports & jocks! Actually, I've learned to be open minded - dwarf tossing is really OK, and Russian roulette has . . uh, it's 'moments.'
<This could be my name> I'm a big fan of Russian roulette as long as all the contestants are Republicans.
<Lauren> Roger, great comment.

Elvis, congrats on your HM.

<mypalmike> So, are there any sports fans here? I'm certainly not.

By the way, nasty caption. Funny, but nasty.

<Lauren> Not a sports fan, but I do like to watch the Super Bowl for the new commercials.
<ElvisThePelvis> Hmmm...I do like extreme coding....that's a sport right? And chess is rather exciting...I like robot wars but only because I like robots.

Hey i did get HM...cool.

<3Suns> I'm a sports fan, and a computer geek. And a New Englander to boot. So I root for the Sox, Pats, Celtics, and Bruins every year. But mostly just the Sox and the Pats.
<ElvisThePelvis> geek != hate sports

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:


Click the monkey to post