<Boyscout> I once had to rescue an old woman who fell into a dumpster looking for her giant diamond necklace. I found an old bar of soap and give it to her instead, she seemed very happy. I received my dumpster rescuing and conning old ladies merit badges for that.
<mountaineer> I imagine that your merit badge lapel is so disgustingly encrusted with patches that you walk slumped, nose nearly to the ground, looking like a soggy number '7'.
<Boyscout> I used to have those issues, but then I decided to wear all my patches around my neck like you would wear an emerald necklace. I recieved my good ideas for modification of boyscout uniforms merit badge for that.
<mountaineer> I was once witness to an extreme wood carving competition. It was the 8-10 year old division. There was a rather unfortunate accident involving an errant guidebook, a chainsaw, some against-regulations-long-hair and, oddly enough, a stuffed Mickey Mouse. I had no idea that stuffed licenced characters could soak up so much blood. I suppose you learned this when you earned your Theme Park Disaster Management Merit Badge?
<boyscout> I have yet to get my Theme Park Disaster Management Merit Badge, but I do have my Theme Park Management Merit Badge. After the character revolt of '01 I took carte blanch control of the Disney Land Theme Park, bringing the park under control with the use of hypnotically suggestive public service announcements. My boy scout troup leaders did not think it to be enough of a disaster to warrant the Theme Park Disaster Management Merit Badge.
<mountaineer> Appeal to the highest command for that one. You deserve it. You earned it. Of course inciting the character revolt in the first place probably worked against you on that one, eh?
<boyscout> Where else but the strictest of dictatorships, can you stage a coup d'état to gain that merit badge?
<Roger Mexico> Badges?? Badges?? We don' need no steenking BADGES!!

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