[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 283 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:31Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:30Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:29Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:28Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:27Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:26Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:25Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:24Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:23Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:22Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:21Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:20Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:19Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:18Caption #-60
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:15Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:14Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:13Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:11Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:10Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:09Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:08Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:07Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:06Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:05Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:04Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:03Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:02Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:01Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker08:50:00Caption #-5
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:59Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:57Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:53Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:52Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:50Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:48Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:46Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:45Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:42Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:38Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:35Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:34Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:32Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:31Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:30Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:26Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:22Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:21Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:19Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:17Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:16Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:14Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:11Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:06Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:04Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:02Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker08:49:01Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:59Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:58Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:54Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:52Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:50Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:48Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:47Caption #-58
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:45Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:44Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:42Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:39Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:34Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:30Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:29Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:27Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:24Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:22Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:20Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:19Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:18Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:14Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:11Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:10Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:06Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:05Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:04Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker08:48:02Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:58Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:56Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:55Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:54Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:52Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:51Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:50Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:48Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:46Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:44Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:43Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:42Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:41Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:38Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:34Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:30Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:29Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:28Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:27Caption #964
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:26Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:25Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:21Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:18Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:14Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:12Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:10Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:07Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:05Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:04Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:02Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:01Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker08:47:00Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:59Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:58Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:57Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:56Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:55Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:54Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:53Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:50Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:49Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:45Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:44Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:42Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:41Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:38Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:34Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:31Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:30Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:27Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:26Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:25Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:23Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:22Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:21Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:20Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:19Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:18Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:17Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:16Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:15Caption #965
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:13Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:12Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:11Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:09Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:08Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:07Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:06Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:05Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:04Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:01Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker08:46:00Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:58Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:57Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:56Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:55Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:53Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:52Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:51Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:49Caption #981
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:48Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:47Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:46Caption #873
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:45Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:44Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:43Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:42Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:41Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:40Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:38Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:35Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:32Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:31Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:30Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:29Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:26Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:25Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:24Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:23Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:22Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:21Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:18Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:17Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:16Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:15Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:14Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:13Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:12Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:11Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:09Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:07Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:06Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:05Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:04Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:02Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:01Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker08:45:00Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:58Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:57Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:56Caption #-31
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:55Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:54Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:52Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:51Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:50Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:49Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:48Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:47Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:46Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:45Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:44Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:42Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:41Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:40Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:38Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:37Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:36Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:33Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:32Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:31Caption #819
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:30Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:29Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:25Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:21Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:20Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:18Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:15Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:13Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:12Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:09Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:06Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:05Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker08:44:01Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:59Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:57Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:53Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:50Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:49Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:46Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:45Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:43Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:41Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:40Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:37Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:33Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:29Caption #8.4
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:26Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:25Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:21Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:20Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:17Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:16Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:15Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:14Caption #-4
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:13Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:12Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:11Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:10Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:09Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:08Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:07Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:06Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:05Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:04Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:03Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:02Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:01Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker08:43:00Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:59Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:53Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:49Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:47Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:45Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:41Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:37Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:35Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:34Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker08:42:33Caption #529

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post