[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 306 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:45Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:44Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:43Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:42Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:41Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:40Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:39Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:38Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:37Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:36Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:35Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:34Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:33Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:30Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:29Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:27Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:24Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:22Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:21Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:18Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:17Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:16Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:15Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:14Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:13Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:10Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:07Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:05Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:04Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:03Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:02Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:01Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker01:57:00Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:59Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:58Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:55Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:53Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:48Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:44Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:42Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:37Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:32Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:24Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:22Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:19Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:15Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:12Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:11Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:10Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:09Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:08Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:06Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:05Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker01:56:04Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:52Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:50Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:49Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:48Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:47Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:44Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:43Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:42Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:39Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:38Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:33Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:25Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:22Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:21Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:15Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:14Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:13Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:12Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:08Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:07Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:06Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:05Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:03Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker01:55:02Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:56Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:53Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:52Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:51Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:50Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:44Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:42Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:41Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:40Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:36Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:33Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:32Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:30Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:28Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:27Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:18Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:13Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:12Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:11Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:10Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:03Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker01:54:02Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:58Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:57Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:56Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:55Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:53Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:51Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:50Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:49Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:48Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:47Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:43Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:37Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:33Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:29Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:22Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:15Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:08Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker01:53:05Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:59Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:57Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:54Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:43Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:42Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:41Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:38Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:37Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:36Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:24Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:16Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:15Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:12Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:10Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:09Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:08Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:07Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:06Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:05Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:04Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:03Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:02Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker01:52:00Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:59Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:58Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:56Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:55Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:54Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:53Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:52Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:51Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:50Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:49Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:48Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:47Caption #948
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:46Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:45Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:44Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:43Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:42Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:41Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:40Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:39Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:38Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:36Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:35Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:33Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:31Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:30Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:29Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:28Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:27Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:26Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:25Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:24Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:22Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:21Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:20Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:19Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:18Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:17Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:16Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:15Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:13Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:12Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:11Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:10Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:08Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:07Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:06Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:05Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:04Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:03Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:02Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:01Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker01:51:00Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:59Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:58Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:57Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:56Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:55Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:53Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:52Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:51Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:49Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:47Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:45Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:44Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:43Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:42Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:41Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:40Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:39Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:38Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:36Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:35Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:34Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:33Caption #937
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:32Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:31Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:30Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:27Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:26Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:23Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:21Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:19Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:16Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:14Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:13Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:07Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:04Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:03Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:02Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:01Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker01:50:00Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:58Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:57Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:56Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:54Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:52Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:50Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:49Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:47Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:45Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:43Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:40Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:38Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:37Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:35Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:33Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:32Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:31Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:28Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:26Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:23Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:22Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:21Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:20Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:16Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:12Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:09Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:08Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:07Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:04Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:03Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:02Caption #633
Mr. NonameLurker01:49:01Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:58Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:57Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:56Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:52Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:51Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:50Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:49Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:46Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:42Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:41Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:39Caption #967
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:38Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:37Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:36Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:29Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:27Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:26Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:25Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:24Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:23Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:22Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:20Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:19Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:17Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:14Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:13Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:09Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:08Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:07Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:03Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:02Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker01:48:01Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:57Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:56Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:55Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:54Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:50Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:48Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker01:47:45Main Page

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post