[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 293 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:33Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:32Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:31Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:30Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:29Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:28Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:24Caption #959
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:23Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:21Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:20Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:15Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:12Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:08Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:05Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker07:19:03Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:55Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:52Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:50Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:46Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:45Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:43Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:38Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:37Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:34Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:32Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:31Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:30Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:28Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:27Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:26Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:25Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:22Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:21Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:20Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:18Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:16Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:15Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:14Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:13Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:12Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:11Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:10Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:09Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:07Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:05Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:01Caption #984
Mr. NonameLurker07:18:00Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:52Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:44Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:41Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:40Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:39Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:36Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:33Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:29Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:27Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:24Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:22Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:20Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:19Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:18Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:17Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:15Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:14Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:10Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:08Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:07Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:03Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker07:17:02Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:59Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:58Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:57Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:56Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:55Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:53Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:52Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:51Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:50Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:49Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:48Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:47Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:46Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:45Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:44Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:43Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:42Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:41Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:38Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:37Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:36Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:35Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:31Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:30Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:27Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:26Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:25Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:24Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:23Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:22Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:20Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:19Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:14Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:13Caption #857
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:11Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:08Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:07Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:06Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:05Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:02Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:01Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker07:16:00Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:58Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:54Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:50Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:49Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:48Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:46Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:45Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:44Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:42Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:41Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:37Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:36Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:35Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:33Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:31Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:30Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:27Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:25Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:21Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:20Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:19Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:17Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:15Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:09Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:08Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker07:15:03Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:55Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:49Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:43Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:42Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:39Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:33Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:30Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:27Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:26Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:25Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:24Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:22Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:21Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:20Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:17Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:10Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:09Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:05Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:52Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:49Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:45Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:39Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:34Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:27Caption #922
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:26Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:25Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:23Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:19Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:17Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:16Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:15Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:14Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:13Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:12Caption #861
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:11Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:08Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:07Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:06Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:05Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:03Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:02Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:01Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker07:13:00Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:59Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:58Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:57Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:53Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:52Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:49Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:46Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:45Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:44Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:41Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:40Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:39Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:37Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:36Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:35Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:33Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:32Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:31Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:30Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:29Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:28Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:26Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:23Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:22Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:21Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:20Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:19Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:11Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:10Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:09Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:05Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:58Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:52Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:51Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:50Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:49Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:48Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:47Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:46Caption #-48
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:45Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:44Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:43Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:42Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:41Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:33Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:31Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:27Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:26Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:25Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:24Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:23Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:22Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:21Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:20Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:19Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:14Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:13Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:08Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:04Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:03Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:02Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker07:11:00Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:58Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:57Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:56Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:55Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:54Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:53Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:51Caption #977
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:50Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:46Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:45Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:42Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:39Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:38Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:37Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:34Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:31Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:30Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:29Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:25Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:24Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:23Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:21Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:17Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:16Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:15Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:14Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:13Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:10Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:09Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:08Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:07Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:06Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:05Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:04Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:01Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:58Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:52Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:48Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:47Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:46Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:45Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:44Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:43Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:42Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:41Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:39Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:38Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:37Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:34Caption #646

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post