[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 259 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:11Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:10Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:09Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:08Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:07Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:06Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:05Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:04Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:03Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:02Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:01Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:00Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:59Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:58Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:57Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:56Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:55Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:54Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:53Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:52Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:51Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:50Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:49Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:48Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:47Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:46Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:45Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:44Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:43Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:42Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:41Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:40Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:39Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:38Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:37Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:36Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:35Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:34Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:33Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:32Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:31Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:30Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:29Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:28Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:27Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:26Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:25Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:24Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:23Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:22Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:21Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:20Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:19Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:18Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:17Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:16Caption #905
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:15Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:14Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:13Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:12Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:11Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:10Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:09Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:08Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:07Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:06Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:05Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:04Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:03Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:02Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:01Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:00Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:59Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:58Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:57Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:56Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:55Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:54Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:53Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:52Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:51Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:50Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:49Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:48Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:47Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:46Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:45Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:44Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:43Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:42Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:41Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:40Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:39Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:38Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:37Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:36Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:35Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:34Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:33Caption #730
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:32Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:31Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:30Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:29Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:28Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:27Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:26Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:25Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:24Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:23Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:22Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:21Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:20Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:19Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:18Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:17Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:16Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:15Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:14Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:13Caption #934
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:12Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:11Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:10Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:09Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:08Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:07Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:06Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:05Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:04Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:03Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:02Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:01Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:00Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:59Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:58Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:57Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:56Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:55Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:54Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:53Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:52Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:51Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:50Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:49Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:48Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:47Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:46Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:45Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:44Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:43Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:42Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:41Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:40Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:39Caption #803
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:38Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:37Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:36Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:35Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:34Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:33Caption #-5
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:32Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:31Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:30Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:29Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:28Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:27Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:26Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:25Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:24Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:23Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:22Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:21Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:20Caption #-37
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:19Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:18Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:17Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:16Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:15Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:14Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:13Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:12Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:11Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:10Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:09Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:08Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:07Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:06Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:05Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:04Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:03Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:02Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:01Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:00Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:59Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:58Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:57Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:56Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:55Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:54Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:53Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:52Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:51Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:50Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:50Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:48Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:47Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:46Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:45Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:44Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:43Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:42Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:41Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:40Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:39Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:38Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:37Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:36Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:35Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:34Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:33Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:32Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:31Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:30Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:29Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:28Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:27Caption #729
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:26Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:25Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:24Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:23Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:22Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:21Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:20Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:19Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:18Caption #880
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:17Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:16Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:15Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:14Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:13Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:12Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:11Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:10Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:09Caption #349
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:08Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:07Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:06Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:05Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:04Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:03Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:02Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:02Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:00Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:59Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:58Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:57Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:56Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:55Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:54Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:53Caption #199

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post