[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 246 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:17Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:16Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:15Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:12Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:11Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:10Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:09Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:08Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:07Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:06Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:05Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:04Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:03Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:02Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:01Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker06:11:00Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:58Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:57Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:56Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:55Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:54Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:53Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:52Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:51Caption #723
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:46Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:45Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:44Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:42Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:41Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:36Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:27Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:24Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:22Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:19Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:16Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:12Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:07Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker06:10:03Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:59Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:55Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:54Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:50Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:49Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:48Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:46Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:45Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:42Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:41Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:39Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:35Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:34Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:32Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:31Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:29Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:27Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:26Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:21Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:15Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:12Caption #697
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:09Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:06Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:05Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:03Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:02Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:01Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker06:09:00Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:59Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:57Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:55Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:51Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:50Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:46Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:42Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:40Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:39Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:38Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:37Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:34Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:33Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:30Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:28Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:27Caption #-21
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:26Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:25Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:24Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:23Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:21Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:20Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:19Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:19Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:16Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:15Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:14Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:13Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:12Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:11Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:09Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:08Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:07Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:06Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:02Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:01Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker06:08:00Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:59Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:58Caption #945
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:57Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:52Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:51Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:47Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:43Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:39Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:37Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:34Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:32Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:30Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:28Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:27Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:26Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:22Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:17Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:15Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:14Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:13Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:12Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:11Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker06:07:06Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:58Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:54Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:53Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:51Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:46Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:43Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:39Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:32Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:31Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:26Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:22Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:19Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:18Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:15Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:14Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:13Caption #931
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:12Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:07Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:06Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:05Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker06:06:00Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:54Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:52Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:47Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:46Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:45Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:34Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:33Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:27Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:26Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:25Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:19Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:11Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:10Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:09Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:04Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker06:05:02Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:59Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:56Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:54Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:53Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:52Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:51Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:47Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:45Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:44Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:43Caption #-66
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:42Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:39Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:38Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:35Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:30Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:29Caption #91
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:28Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:25Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:19Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:14Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:10Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:09Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:06Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:02Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker06:04:00Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:50Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:49Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:48Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:46Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:42Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:39Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:37Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:36Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:34Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:31Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:27Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:22Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:20Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:18Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:15Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:11Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:06Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:03Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:02Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker06:03:01Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:57Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:54Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:50Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:42Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:34Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:31Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:29Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:28Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:27Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:26Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:24Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:22Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:21Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:18Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:11Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:09Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:08Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:07Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:06Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker06:02:02Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:59Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:55Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:53Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:52Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:51Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:50Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:47Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:46Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:45Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:43Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:41Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:39Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:35Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:31Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:28Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:26Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker06:01:18Caption #67

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post