[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 311 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:04Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:03Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker05:33:01Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:59Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:58Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:57Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:56Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:55Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:54Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:53Caption #18
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:52Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:51Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:50Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:49Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:48Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:45Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:44Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:39Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:38Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:34Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:33Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:28Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:25Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:24Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:23Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:22Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:21Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:20Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:19Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:18Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:17Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:16Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:15Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:14Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:11Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:09Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:08Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:06Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:05Caption #353
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:04Caption #899
Mr. NonameLurker05:32:03Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:54Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:49Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:44Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:41Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:40Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:39Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:38Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:37Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:36Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:35Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:34Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:32Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:31Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:27Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:24Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:23Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:22Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:19Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:17Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:15Caption #04
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:14Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:13Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:12Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:11Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:10Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:09Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:08Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:07Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:05Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:04Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:03Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:02Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker05:31:01Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:57Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:56Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:55Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:52Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:51Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:50Caption #764
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:49Caption #694
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:48Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:47Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:45Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:43Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:42Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:41Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:40Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:39Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:37Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:35Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:31Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:28Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:27Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:26Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:25Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:24Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:23Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:22Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:21Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:16Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:15Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:14Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:13Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:12Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:10Caption #221
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:09Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:08Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:04Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:02Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:01Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker05:30:00Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:59Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:58Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:57Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:56Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:55Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:54Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:53Caption #149
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:52Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:51Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:50Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:49Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:46Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:41Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:34Caption #795
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:33Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:32Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:31Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:30Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:28Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:27Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:26Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:25Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:22Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:17Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:16Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:15Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:11Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:09Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:08Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:07Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:06Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:05Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:04Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:03Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:02Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker05:29:00Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:59Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:58Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:57Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:56Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:55Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:54Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:53Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:52Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:48Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:44Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:42Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:40Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:38Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:37Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:36Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:35Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:34Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:33Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:32Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:31Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:30Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:29Caption #645
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:26Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:25Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:22Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:21Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:19Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:18Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:17Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:16Caption #940
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:15Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:11Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:05Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:04Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:03Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:02Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker05:28:01Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:56Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:55Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:51Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:48Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:45Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:43Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:40Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:38Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:36Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:35Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:34Caption #737
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:33Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:32Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:31Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:29Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:28Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:26Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:25Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:24Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:23Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:21Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:20Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:19Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:18Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:17Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:15Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:14Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:12Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:10Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:09Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:04Caption #456
Mr. NonameLurker05:27:03Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:57Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:41Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:40Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:39Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:38Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:37Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:36Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:32Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:31Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:30Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:29Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:24Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:18Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:17Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:16Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:11Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:07Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:06Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker05:26:05Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:56Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:54Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:52Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:49Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:48Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:48Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:46Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:45Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:44Caption #174
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:43Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:38Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:26Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:25Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:22Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:19Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:18Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:10Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:09Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:06Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker05:25:00Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:59Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:58Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:57Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:51Caption #930
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:49Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:47Caption #-35
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:46Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:45Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:43Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:41Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:40Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:39Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:38Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:36Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:31Caption #294
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:25Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:24Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:23Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:22Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:20Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:19Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:17Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:16Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:15Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:05Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:01Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker05:24:00Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:58Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:57Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:56Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:55Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:53Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:52Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:51Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:44Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:41Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:39Caption #765
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:31Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:30Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:29Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:28Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:27Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:26Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:22Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:19Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:17Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:13Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:12Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:11Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:10Caption #131
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:08Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:07Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:06Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:05Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker05:23:04Caption #592

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post