[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 358 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:25Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:24Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:23Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:22Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:21Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:20Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:19Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:18Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:17Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:16Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:15Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:14Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:13Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:12Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:11Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:10Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:09Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:08Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:07Caption #433
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:06Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:05Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:04Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:03Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:01Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker20:57:00Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:59Caption #695
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:58Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:57Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:56Caption #850
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:55Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:54Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:52Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:51Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:50Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:49Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:48Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:47Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:46Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:45Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:44Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:43Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:42Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:41Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:40Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:39Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:38Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:36Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:35Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:34Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:33Caption #935
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:32Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:31Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:30Caption #458
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:29Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:28Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:27Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:26Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:25Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:24Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:23Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:21Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:20Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:19Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:18Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:16Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:15Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:14Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:13Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:12Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:11Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:10Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:09Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:08Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:07Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:05Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:04Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker20:56:00Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:59Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:58Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:57Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:56Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:55Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:53Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:52Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:48Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:47Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:46Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:45Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:44Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:43Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:42Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:41Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:40Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:39Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:38Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:37Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:36Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:35Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:34Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:33Caption #220
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:32Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:31Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:30Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:29Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:28Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:27Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:26Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:25Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:24Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:23Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:22Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:21Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:20Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:18Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:17Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:16Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:14Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:13Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:12Caption #887
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:09Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:08Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:07Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:06Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:04Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:02Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:01Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker20:55:00Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:58Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:56Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:53Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:52Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:51Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:50Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:49Caption #588
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:48Caption #457
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:47Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:46Caption #876
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:45Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:44Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:43Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:42Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:41Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:40Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:39Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:38Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:37Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:36Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:35Caption #-21
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:34Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:33Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:32Caption #74
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:31Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:30Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:29Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:28Caption #143
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:27Caption #423
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:25Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:24Caption #917
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:23Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:22Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:21Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:20Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:19Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:17Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:16Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:15Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:13Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:12Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:10Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:08Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:07Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:04Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:03Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker20:54:00Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:58Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:57Caption #767
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:56Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:53Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:52Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:50Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:48Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:47Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:46Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:45Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:44Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:43Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:41Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:40Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:38Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:37Caption #966
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:36Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:34Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:32Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:30Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:28Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:25Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:24Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:23Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:20Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:16Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:14Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:13Caption #471
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:12Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:08Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:07Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:06Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:04Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:02Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker20:53:00Caption #768
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:58Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:57Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:56Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:55Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:54Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:53Caption #514
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:52Caption #366
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:51Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:48Caption #927
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:44Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:42Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:41Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:40Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:37Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:32Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:29Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:28Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:27Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:25Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:24Caption #414
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:20Caption #-57
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:16Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:15Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:13Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:12Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:08Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:04Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:02Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker20:52:00Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:59Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:56Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:52Caption #980
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:51Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:50Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:49Caption #863
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:48Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:45Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:44Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:42Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:40Caption #-5
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:39Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:36Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:35Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:34Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:32Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:29Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:28Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:25Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:24Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:23Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:21Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:20Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:19Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:16Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:15Caption #-30
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:14Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:13Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:12Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:11Caption #817
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:08Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:04Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker20:51:00Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:56Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:55Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:54Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:52Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:50Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:48Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:44Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:41Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:40Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:36Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:32Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:28Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:25Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:24Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:23Caption #-37
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:20Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:17Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:16Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:12Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:08Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:07Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:04Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:03Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:02Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker20:50:00Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:56Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:55Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:53Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:53Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:49Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:44Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:40Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:37Caption #655
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:36Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:35Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:32Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:30Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:28Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:24Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:23Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:22Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:20Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:17Caption #389
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:16Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:12Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:08Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:05Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:04Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:01Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker20:49:00Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:59Caption #939
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:56Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:54Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:52Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:51Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:50Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:49Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:48Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:44Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:41Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:40Caption #920
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:36Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:32Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:29Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:28Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:24Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:20Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:16Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:12Caption #-38
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:08Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:06Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:04Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker20:48:00Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:59Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:56Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:55Caption #-41
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:52Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:48Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:47Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:44Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:40Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:36Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:34Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:32Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:31Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker20:47:28Caption #342

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post