[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 232 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:13Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:12Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:11Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:10Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:09Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker08:21:08Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:59Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:58Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:55Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:54Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:53Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:50Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:48Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:43Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:36Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:32Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:25Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:24Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:23Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:18Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:16Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:15Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:13Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:11Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:09Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:06Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:05Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:04Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:03Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker08:20:01Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:58Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:57Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:56Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:55Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:54Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:51Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:50Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:49Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:48Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:47Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:46Caption #854
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:44Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:41Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:40Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:35Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:32Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:31Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:30Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:26Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:25Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:23Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:21Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:20Caption #269
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:19Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:13Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:12Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:11Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:10Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:09Caption #751
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:05Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker08:19:01Caption #271
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:58Caption #973
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:57Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:56Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:55Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:52Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:51Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:50Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:49Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:45Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:43Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:42Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:41Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:40Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:38Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:37Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:36Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:35Caption #85
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:34Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:33Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:32Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:31Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:29Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:26Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:25Caption #-35
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:24Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:23Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:21Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:20Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:19Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:17Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:16Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:15Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:11Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:10Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:09Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker08:18:01Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:57Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:56Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:52Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:48Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:47Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:46Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:43Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:42Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:39Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:37Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:34Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:33Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:32Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:31Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:19Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:13Caption #647
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:07Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:06Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker08:17:04Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:55Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:54Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:53Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:50Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:49Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:46Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:45Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:43Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:41Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:37Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:36Caption #868
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:32Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:31Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:30Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:25Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:24Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:21Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:20Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:16Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:15Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:11Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:04Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:03Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:01Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker08:16:00Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:59Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:56Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:55Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:53Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:52Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:51Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:50Caption #231
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:45Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:43Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:42Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:41Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:39Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:37Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:32Caption #619
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:28Caption #890
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:27Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:24Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:23Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:22Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:18Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:17Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:16Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:15Caption #937
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:14Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:13Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:12Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:11Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:10Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:09Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:07Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:04Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:03Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:02Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:01Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker08:15:00Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:59Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:57Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:56Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:53Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:52Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:48Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:47Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:46Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:43Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:36Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:30Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:29Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:25Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:22Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:14Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:13Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker08:14:01Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:59Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:58Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:54Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:47Caption #668
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:46Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:45Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:42Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:41Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:36Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:31Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:29Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:28Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:25Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:21Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:17Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:13Caption #247
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:09Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:08Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:04Caption #839
Mr. NonameLurker08:13:03Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:48Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:47Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:43Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:39Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:38Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:34Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:33Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:32Caption #509
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:27Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:25Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:20Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:15Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:13Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:12Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker08:12:06Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:53Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:50Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker08:11:49Caption #298

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post