[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 354 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:33Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:32Caption #434
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:31Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:30Caption #-71
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:29Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:28Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:27Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:26Caption #263
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:25Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:23Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:19Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:18Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:14Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:12Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:11Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:08Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:07Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:06Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:05Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:04Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:03Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:01Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:59Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:58Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:57Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:55Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:54Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:48Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:46Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:44Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:43Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:39Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:38Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:37Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:36Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:31Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:30Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:29Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:27Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:26Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:24Caption #467
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:23Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:21Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:19Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:18Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:17Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:16Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:13Caption #785
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:12Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:10Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:09Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:07Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:06Caption #918
Mr. NonameLurker13:51:00Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:59Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:58Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:55Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:51Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:50Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:48Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:46Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:44Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:43Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:40Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:39Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:38Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:37Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:34Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:33Caption #669
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:31Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:30Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:29Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:28Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:27Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:24Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:22Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:21Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:18Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:17Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:15Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:12Caption #172
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:11Caption #230
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:10Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:07Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:06Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:05Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:03Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:02Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:01Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker13:50:00Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:58Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:56Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:55Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:53Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:51Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:48Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:47Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:46Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:45Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:43Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:42Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:41Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:40Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:37Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:36Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:35Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:33Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:31Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:30Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:28Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:27Caption #78
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:22Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:21Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:20Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:19Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:18Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:15Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:14Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:11Caption #342
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:10Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:09Caption #133
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:08Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:05Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:04Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:02Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker13:49:00Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:59Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:58Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:57Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:56Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:55Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:54Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:51Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:50Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:49Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:48Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:47Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:42Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:40Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:38Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:36Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:35Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:34Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:32Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:30Caption #690
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:29Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:28Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:24Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:22Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:21Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:19Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:18Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:17Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:16Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:15Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:14Caption #80
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:13Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:08Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:06Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:05Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:04Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker13:48:00Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:59Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:58Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:55Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:51Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:50Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:49Caption #843
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:45Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:43Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:42Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:40Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:39Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:38Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:37Caption #-24
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:35Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:34Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:33Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:32Caption #393
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:31Caption #209
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:30Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:28Caption #909
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:27Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:26Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:25Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:24Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:23Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:22Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:21Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:19Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:17Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:15Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:14Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:13Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:11Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:09Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:07Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:06Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:05Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:04Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:03Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:01Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker13:47:00Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:59Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:56Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:51Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:50Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:49Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:48Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:47Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:45Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:44Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:38Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:29Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:26Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:25Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:23Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:22Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:20Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:15Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:14Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:13Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:12Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:10Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:06Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:03Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:01Caption #826
Mr. NonameLurker13:46:00Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:59Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:58Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:57Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:56Caption #900
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:55Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:54Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:53Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:52Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:51Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:49Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:46Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:45Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:42Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:41Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:39Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:37Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:35Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:34Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:33Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:30Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:29Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:28Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:27Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:26Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:22Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:20Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:19Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:18Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:17Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:16Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:15Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:14Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:13Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:12Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:11Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:08Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:06Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:04Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:02Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker13:45:00Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:59Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:58Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:57Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:50Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:49Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:48Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:47Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:46Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:45Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:44Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:43Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:42Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:41Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:40Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:37Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:36Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:35Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:34Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:31Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:30Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:27Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:26Caption #530
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:24Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:23Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:22Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:21Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:20Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:16Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:14Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:13Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:12Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:10Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:08Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:04Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker13:44:03Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:57Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:55Caption #827
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:52Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:51Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:50Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:48Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:47Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:42Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:41Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:38Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:34Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:33Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:32Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:31Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:30Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:29Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:28Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:26Caption #780
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:25Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:24Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:22Caption #314
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:19Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:18Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:16Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:15Caption #385
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:14Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:12Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:10Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:08Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:05Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:04Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:02Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:01Caption #834
Mr. NonameLurker13:43:00Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:59Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:58Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:56Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:54Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:47Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:46Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:45Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:43Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:42Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:41Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:40Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:39Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:38Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker13:42:35Caption #748

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post