[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 341 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:47Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:46Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:45Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:44Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:43Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:42Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:41Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:40Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:39Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:38Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:37Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:36Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:35Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:34Caption #781
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:33Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:31Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:30Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:28Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:27Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:23Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:22Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:21Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:20Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:18Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:16Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:15Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:14Caption #989
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:13Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:12Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:11Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:09Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:07Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:04Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:02Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker01:14:00Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:58Caption #-46
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:57Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:56Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:54Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:53Caption #49
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:52Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:46Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:45Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:44Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:43Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:42Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:41Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:39Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:37Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:35Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:33Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:32Caption #406
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:31Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:30Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:29Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:28Caption #-68
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:27Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:26Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:25Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:24Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:21Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:19Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:18Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:16Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:15Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:13Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:08Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:05Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:03Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker01:13:02Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:55Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:54Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:53Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:50Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:47Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:45Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:42Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:41Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:39Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:38Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:37Caption #52
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:35Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:33Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:28Caption #-17
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:26Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:25Caption #688
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:22Caption #182
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:21Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:20Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:15Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:13Caption #-28
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:12Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:11Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:07Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:06Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:05Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:04Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:02Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:01Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker01:12:00Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:59Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:57Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:56Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:55Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:52Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:51Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:48Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:45Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:44Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:43Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:42Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:40Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:39Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:34Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:32Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:28Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:26Caption #813
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:25Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:24Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:23Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:21Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:20Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:18Caption #196
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:16Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:15Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:14Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:12Caption #-29
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:10Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:09Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:08Caption #92
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:07Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:06Caption #641
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:04Caption #989
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:03Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:02Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker01:11:01Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:59Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:58Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:56Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:55Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:52Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:51Caption #915
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:50Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:48Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:44Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:42Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:41Caption #746
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:40Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:38Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:37Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:33Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:32Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:31Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:27Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:26Caption #359
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:25Caption #-66
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:21Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:20Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:19Caption #883
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:18Caption #786
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:17Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:14Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:13Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:10Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:09Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:08Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:05Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:03Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:02Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker01:10:00Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:59Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:58Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:55Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:53Caption #-25
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:51Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:50Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:49Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:48Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:45Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:44Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:39Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:32Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:31Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:29Caption #324
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:27Caption #158
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:26Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:25Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:24Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:23Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:21Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:20Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:19Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:16Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:15Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:14Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:12Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:11Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:09Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:07Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:06Caption #344
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:04Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:03Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:02Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker01:09:00Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:58Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:56Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:55Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:54Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:51Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:50Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:49Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:48Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:47Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:43Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:42Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:39Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:38Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:36Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:34Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:31Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:29Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:28Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:25Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:21Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:19Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:17Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:16Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:14Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:12Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:10Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:08Caption #-20
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:05Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker01:08:00Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:59Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:58Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:55Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:52Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:50Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:49Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:45Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:44Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:41Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:40Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:38Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:36Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:35Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:34Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:31Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:30Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:29Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:26Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:25Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:24Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:22Caption #481
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:17Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:14Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:11Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:08Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:06Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:05Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:02Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker01:07:01Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:59Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:58Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:56Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:53Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:52Caption #526
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:51Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:50Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:49Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:48Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:47Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:46Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:45Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:44Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:42Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:39Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:38Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:35Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:34Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:32Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:30Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:29Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:28Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:24Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:22Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:21Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:18Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:17Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:15Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:14Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:10Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:03Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:02Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:01Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker01:06:00Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:59Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:58Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:57Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:55Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:53Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:52Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:51Caption #327
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:50Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:49Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:47Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:43Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:41Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:38Caption #720
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:35Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:34Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:32Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:30Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:29Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:28Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:27Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:26Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:24Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:23Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:20Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:19Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:18Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:17Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:15Caption #963
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:13Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:12Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:10Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:09Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:07Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:06Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:05Caption #924
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:04Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:02Caption #178
Mr. NonameLurker01:05:01Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker01:04:59Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker01:04:57Caption #519
Mr. NonameLurker01:04:54Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker01:04:50Caption #210
Mr. NonameLurker01:04:48Caption #248
Mr. NonameLurker01:04:47Caption #276

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post