[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 233 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:04Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:03Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:02Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:01Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:37:00Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:59Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:58Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:57Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:56Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:52Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:51Caption #-48
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:50Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:49Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:48Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:47Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:46Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:44Caption #-67
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:42Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:40Caption #536
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:39Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:38Caption #450
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:37Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:36Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:35Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:32Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:30Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:28Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:27Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:26Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:24Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:23Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:22Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:20Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:19Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:17Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:16Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:15Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:14Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:12Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:11Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:10Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:09Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:08Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:07Caption #-8
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:06Caption #715
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:05Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:02Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:01Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker17:36:00Caption #-56
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:59Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:58Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:57Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:56Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:55Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:52Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:43Caption #731
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:41Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:39Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:38Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:36Caption #321
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:35Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:34Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:33Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:30Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:26Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:25Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:24Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:23Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:20Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:17Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:15Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:13Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:09Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:07Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:05Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:04Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker17:35:00Caption #728
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:57Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:56Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:54Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:51Caption #629
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:48Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:47Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:46Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:42Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:41Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:40Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:39Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:38Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:37Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:34Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:32Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:31Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:29Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:28Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:25Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:17Caption #844
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:15Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:12Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:11Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:10Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:09Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:08Caption #262
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:07Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:05Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker17:34:00Caption #804
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:59Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:58Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:57Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:56Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:55Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:54Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:53Caption #616
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:52Caption #652
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:51Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:50Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:48Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:47Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:45Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:44Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:43Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:42Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:41Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:40Caption #919
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:38Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:36Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:35Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:34Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:33Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:32Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:31Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:30Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:29Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:28Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:27Caption #487
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:26Caption #40
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:25Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:24Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:23Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:21Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:18Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:16Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:15Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:12Caption #318
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:10Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:07Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:05Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:04Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:02Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker17:33:00Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:56Caption #468
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:55Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:52Caption #911
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:49Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:48Caption #557
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:46Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:42Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:40Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:36Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:32Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:30Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:29Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:28Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:27Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:26Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:25Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:21Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:20Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:19Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:16Caption #460
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:15Caption #885
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:11Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:10Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:09Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:06Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:04Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker17:32:03Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:54Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:54Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:52Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:46Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:40Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:39Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:38Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:35Caption #225
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:25Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:21Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:20Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:16Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:07Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker17:31:04Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:58Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:58Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:56Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:50Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:48Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:47Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:46Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:45Caption #-29
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:43Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:42Caption #570
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:30Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:28Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:27Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:26Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:23Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:22Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:21Caption #654
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:17Caption #594
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:05Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker17:30:03Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:59Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:58Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:56Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:55Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:43Caption #595
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:42Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:41Caption #712
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:36Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:35Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:32Caption #818
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:31Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:26Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:25Caption #891
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:24Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:20Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:19Caption #-40
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:17Caption #-43
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:16Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:12Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:09Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:08Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker17:29:04Caption #163

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post