[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 339 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker23:42:04Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker23:42:03Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:42:00Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:58Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:57Caption #750
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:56Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:55Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:53Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:52Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:51Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:49Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:48Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:47Caption #368
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:46Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:44Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:43Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:40Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:39Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:38Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:37Caption #969
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:36Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:32Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:31Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:28Caption #601
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:27Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:26Caption #39
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:25Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:21Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:16Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:15Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:13Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:12Caption #554
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:10Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:09Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:08Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:07Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:06Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:04Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:03Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker23:41:00Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:58Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:57Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:56Caption #635
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:55Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:53Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:51Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:48Caption #937
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:44Caption #284
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:41Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:38Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:37Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:36Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:35Caption #675
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:33Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:32Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:28Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:25Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:24Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:21Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:19Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:17Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:16Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:13Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:12Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:11Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:10Caption #806
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:08Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:07Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:06Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:04Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:01Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker23:40:00Caption #721
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:58Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:57Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:56Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:55Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:54Caption #865
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:53Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:52Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:51Caption #267
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:50Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:48Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:47Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:46Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:44Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:42Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:41Caption #154
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:40Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:37Caption #929
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:35Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:33Caption #933
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:31Caption #41
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:29Caption #75
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:27Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:26Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:25Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:24Caption #483
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:22Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:20Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:18Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:17Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:13Caption #31
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:12Caption #665
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:08Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:07Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:05Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:03Caption #548
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:01Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker23:39:00Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:57Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:53Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:52Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:50Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:49Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:48Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:47Caption #918
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:46Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:44Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:43Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:42Caption #301
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:41Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:38Caption #370
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:36Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:34Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:32Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:31Caption #527
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:30Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:29Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:27Caption #350
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:24Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:21Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:20Caption #148
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:18Caption #989
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:17Caption #889
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:16Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:14Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:12Caption #941
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:09Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:05Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:04Caption #236
Mr. NonameLurker23:38:00Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:57Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:56Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:54Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:53Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:50Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:49Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:48Caption #-34
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:45Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:44Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:41Caption #265
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:38Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:37Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:36Caption #957
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:33Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:29Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:25Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:24Caption #662
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:21Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:20Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:16Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:14Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:13Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:12Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:10Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:09Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:05Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:04Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:03Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:02Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:01Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker23:37:00Caption #44
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:58Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:56Caption #552
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:55Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:53Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:48Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:46Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:45Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:43Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:42Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:40Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:39Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:37Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:36Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:35Caption #376
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:34Caption #169
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:33Caption #740
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:32Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:28Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:27Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:26Caption #233
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:24Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:23Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:22Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:20Caption #589
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:19Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:18Caption #28
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:16Caption #575
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:13Caption #968
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:12Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:11Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:10Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:08Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:06Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:02Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker23:36:01Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:57Caption #700
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:56Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:55Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:53Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:52Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:51Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:50Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:49Caption #417
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:48Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:46Caption #401
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:45Caption #50
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:44Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:42Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:41Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:40Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:39Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:37Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:35Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:34Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:30Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:29Caption #21
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:28Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:26Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:25Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:24Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:22Caption #311
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:21Caption #179
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:20Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:17Caption #95
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:16Caption #300
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:14Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:12Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:10Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:08Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:06Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:05Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:04Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:01Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:01Caption #824
Mr. NonameLurker23:35:00Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:56Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:52Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:51Caption #-36
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:48Caption #-43
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:47Caption #347
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:46Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:45Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:44Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:42Caption #53
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:37Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:35Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:33Caption #432
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:29Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:28Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:24Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:20Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:18Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:17Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:16Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:14Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:13Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:12Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:10Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:08Caption #484
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:07Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:05Caption #757
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:02Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker23:34:01Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:57Caption #691
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:52Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:50Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:49Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:48Caption #549
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:45Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:44Caption #491
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:41Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:36Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:33Caption #32
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:32Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:31Caption #848
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:29Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:28Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:26Caption #306
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:24Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:23Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:21Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:18Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:17Caption #317
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:16Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:14Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:12Caption #877
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:10Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:08Caption #272
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:07Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:04Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:02Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker23:33:01Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:59Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:57Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:56Caption #666
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:52Caption #874
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:51Caption #408
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:48Caption #605
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:47Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:46Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:45Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:44Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:43Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:41Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:40Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:38Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:37Caption #583
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:36Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:34Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:33Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:32Caption #189
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:31Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:28Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:26Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:21Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:18Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:16Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:14Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:13Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:12Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:11Caption #428
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:09Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:08Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:07Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:06Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:05Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker23:32:04Caption #194

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post