[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 275 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:45Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:44Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:43Caption #699
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:42Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:41Caption #397
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:40Caption #830
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:39Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:38Caption #598
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:37Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:36Caption #59
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:35Caption #651
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:34Caption #825
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:33Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:32Caption #567
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:31Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:30Caption #98
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:29Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:28Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:26Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:25Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:24Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:23Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:22Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:21Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:20Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:16Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:15Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:11Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:06:01Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:59Caption #711
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:55Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:51Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:48Caption #838
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:41Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:39Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:27Caption #610
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:22Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker18:05:07Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:56Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:51Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:47Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:43Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:39Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:37Caption #707
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:31Caption #855
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:30Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:27Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:16Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:08Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:06Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:04Caption #582
Mr. NonameLurker18:04:00Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:56Caption #502
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:55Caption #692
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:52Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:47Caption #571
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:44Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:42Caption #814
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:39Caption #69
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:34Caption #123
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:31Caption #-26
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:29Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:27Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:25Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:19Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:11Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:10Caption #26
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:06Caption #266
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:03Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:01Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker18:03:00Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:58Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:55Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:52Caption #136
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:48Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:47Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:46Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:43Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:39Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:35Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:30Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:29Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:28Caption #932
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:27Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:26Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:25Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:24Caption #435
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:23Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:22Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:21Caption #620
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:20Caption #841
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:19Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:18Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:17Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:15Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:10Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:09Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:07Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker18:02:04Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:55Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:51Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:47Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:44Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:40Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:37Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:36Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:35Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:34Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:33Caption #27
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:32Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:31Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:30Caption #413
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:29Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:28Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:27Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:26Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:25Caption #463
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:24Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:23Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:22Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:21Caption #296
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:20Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:19Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:18Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:17Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:16Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:15Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:14Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:13Caption #550
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:12Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:11Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:10Caption #525
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:09Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:08Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:07Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:06Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:05Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:04Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:03Caption #709
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:02Caption #239
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:01Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker18:01:00Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:59Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:58Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:57Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:56Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:55Caption #84
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:53Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:51Caption #952
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:49Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:47Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:43Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:35Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:34Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:27Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:26Caption #421
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:25Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:24Caption #297
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:23Caption #473
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:22Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:21Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:20Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:19Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:18Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:17Caption #650
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:16Caption #331
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:15Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:14Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:13Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:12Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:11Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:10Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:09Caption #448
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:08Caption #928
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:07Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:06Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:05Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:04Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:03Caption #285
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:02Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:01Caption #372
Mr. NonameLurker18:00:00Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:59Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:58Caption #710
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:57Caption #511
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:56Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:55Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:54Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:53Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:52Caption #334
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:51Caption #752
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:50Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:49Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:48Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:47Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:46Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:45Caption #22
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:44Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:43Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:42Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:41Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:40Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:39Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:38Caption #65
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:37Caption #183
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:36Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:35Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:34Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:33Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:32Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:31Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:30Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:29Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:28Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:27Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:23Caption #897
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:15Caption #43
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:12Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:08Caption #667
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:07Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:05Caption #217
Mr. NonameLurker17:59:04Caption #77
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:59Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:58Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:53Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:49Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:47Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:43Caption #-12
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:41Caption #634
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:39Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:35Caption #832
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:34Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:31Caption #381
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:29Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:27Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:25Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:24Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:23Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:20Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:18Caption #800
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:17Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:16Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:15Caption #960
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:14Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:11Caption #636
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:10Caption #280
Mr. NonameLurker17:58:08Caption #388
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:59Caption #778
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:54Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:51Caption #516
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:48Caption #405
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:45Caption #851
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:43Caption #121
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:42Caption #411
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:41Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:39Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:38Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:36Caption #958
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:35Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:27Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:23Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:16Caption #96
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:15Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:14Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:13Caption #35
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:08Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:05Caption #216
Mr. NonameLurker17:57:03Caption #954
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:59Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:57Caption #748
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:56Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:55Caption #504
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:52Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:47Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker17:56:45Caption #197

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post