[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 260 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:54Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:53Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:52Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:51Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:50Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:49Caption #404
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:48Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:47Caption #348
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:46Caption #545
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:45Caption #155
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:44Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:43Caption #976
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:41Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:37Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:33Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:31Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:30Caption #-30
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:29Caption #593
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:27Caption #173
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:25Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:22Caption #816
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:21Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:19Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:18Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:13Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:10Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:06Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:05Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:04Caption #812
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:03Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:02Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker17:19:01Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:57Caption #534
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:55Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:53Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:49Caption #902
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:46Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:41Caption #532
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:37Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:36Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:35Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:34Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:33Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:29Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:27Caption #946
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:26Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:25Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:22Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:17Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:14Caption #501
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:10Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:09Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:08Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:05Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker17:18:01Caption #815
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:58Caption #398
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:53Caption #175
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:50Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:49Caption #213
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:48Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:46Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:44Caption #255
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:43Caption #892
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:42Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:38Caption #438
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:33Caption #442
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:29Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:25Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:24Caption #604
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:23Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:22Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:18Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:17Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:16Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:15Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:14Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:13Caption #576
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:10Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:05Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:04Caption #322
Mr. NonameLurker17:17:01Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:59Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:58Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:53Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:50Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:49Caption #400
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:48Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:47Caption #369
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:45Caption #403
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:41Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:37Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:34Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:33Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:32Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:31Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:30Caption #741
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:29Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:26Caption #374
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:25Caption #253
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:24Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:23Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:22Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:21Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:19Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:18Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:13Caption #864
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:09Caption #574
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:05Caption #561
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:02Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker17:16:01Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:58Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:57Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:54Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:53Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:52Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:50Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:49Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:46Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:45Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:44Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:41Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:39Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:38Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:34Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:30Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:29Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:28Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:26Caption #46
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:21Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:17Caption #558
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:13Caption #713
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:10Caption #760
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:08Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:07Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:06Caption #227
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:05Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:03Caption #310
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:01Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker17:15:00Caption #373
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:58Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:57Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:55Caption #657
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:54Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:53Caption #603
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:52Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:51Caption #979
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:49Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:45Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:44Caption #-38
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:41Caption #176
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:38Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:33Caption #962
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:31Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:30Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:26Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:21Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:17Caption #706
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:15Caption #479
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:14Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:13Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:10Caption #270
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:05Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:01Caption #278
Mr. NonameLurker17:14:00Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:57Caption #258
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:53Caption #407
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:51Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:48Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:47Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:46Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:42Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:38Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:33Caption #542
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:32Caption #719
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:31Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:29Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:28Caption #304
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:25Caption #580
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:22Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:21Caption #790
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:20Caption #303
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:19Caption #823
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:18Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:17Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:13Caption #703
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:10Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:09Caption #859
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:06Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker17:13:01Caption #289
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:57Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:54Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:53Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:52Caption #602
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:51Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:50Caption #498
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:46Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:44Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:41Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:38Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:37Caption #-32
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:36Caption #702
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:35Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:34Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:33Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:30Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:25Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:21Caption #578
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:18Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:18Caption #801
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:16Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:13Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:11Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:10Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:06Caption #515
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:05Caption #683
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:04Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker17:12:01Caption #86
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:57Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:55Caption #249
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:53Caption #45
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:49Caption #66
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:46Caption #608
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:45Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:43Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:42Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:41Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:39Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:33Caption #687
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:24Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:14Caption #789
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:13Caption #782
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:06Caption #132
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:02Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker17:11:01Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:59Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:57Caption #862
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:56Caption #681
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:55Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:53Caption #181
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:49Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:47Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:45Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:41Caption #677
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:39Caption #898
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:37Caption #194
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:33Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:32Caption #470
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:31Caption #242
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:29Caption #705
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:27Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:25Caption #195
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:21Caption #201
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:17Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:14Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:13Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:11Caption #528
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:09Caption #560
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:05Caption #853
Mr. NonameLurker17:10:01Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker17:09:57Caption #189

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post