[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 10/04/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Rover was so eager...

...to please his new owners...

...he pooped diamonds.
(Battersea Dog's Home)
(AP)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 222 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:34Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:33Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:32Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:31Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:30Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:29Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:28Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:27Caption #319
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:26Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:25Caption #199
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:24Caption #646
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:23Caption #638
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:21Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:16Caption #36
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:14Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:12Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:11Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:03Caption #420
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:01Caption #906
Mr. NonameLurker10:22:00Caption #338
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:58Caption #596
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:57Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:52Caption #518
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:49Caption #586
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:46Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:42Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:39Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:38Caption #807
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:34Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:33Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:30Caption #274
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:29Caption #544
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:28Caption #936
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:26Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:21Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:20Caption #820
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:19Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:18Caption #733
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:17Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:15Caption #809
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:13Caption #282
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:12Caption #257
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:11Caption #326
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:09Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:08Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:07Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:05Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:03Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:01Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker10:21:00Caption #-55
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:57Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:53Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:52Caption #810
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:49Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:43Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:40Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:39Caption #97
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:38Caption #547
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:37Caption #660
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:34Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:33Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:16Caption #689
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:14Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:11Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:07Caption #925
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:05Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker10:20:00Caption #762
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:59Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:53Caption #419
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:51Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:50Caption #264
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:49Caption #847
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:46Caption #87
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:44Caption #869
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:43Caption #971
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:41Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:39Caption #268
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:38Caption #332
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:37Caption #858
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:33Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:31Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:29Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:26Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:24Caption #521
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:23Caption #412
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:21Caption #831
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:17Caption #624
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:16Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:12Caption #671
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:11Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:07Caption #653
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:06Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:05Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:02Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker10:19:01Caption #439
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:59Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:57Caption #451
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:51Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:49Caption #793
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:48Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:47Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:46Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:33Caption #478
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:32Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:30Caption #617
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:28Caption #607
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:22Caption #166
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:16Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:14Caption #323
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:12Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:11Caption #903
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:09Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:08Caption #658
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:07Caption #171
Mr. NonameLurker10:18:06Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:58Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:53Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:52Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:51Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:50Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:49Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:44Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:42Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:36Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:29Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:27Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:26Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:20Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:11Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:09Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:01Caption #755
Mr. NonameLurker10:17:00Caption #828
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:56Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:53Caption #12
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:50Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:49Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:46Caption #360
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:45Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:40Caption #184
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:39Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:38Caption #237
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:34Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:32Caption #234
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:29Caption #792
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:23Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:20Caption #-22
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:17Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:16Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:12Caption #923
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:11Caption #60
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:07Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:05Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:01Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker10:16:00Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:59Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:56Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:55Caption #508
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:54Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:50Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:49Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:48Caption #187
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:46Caption #130
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:45Caption #505
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:44Caption #292
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:41Caption #-65
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:38Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:34Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:32Caption #37
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:30Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:29Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:25Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:24Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:23Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:19Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:18Caption #73
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:17Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:13Caption #743
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:10Caption #685
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:09Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:08Caption #202
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:07Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:06Caption #742
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:03Caption #346
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:02Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:01Caption #770
Mr. NonameLurker10:15:00Caption #320
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:59Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:58Caption #693
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:53Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:50Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:47Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:44Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:42Caption #367
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:41Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:39Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:38Caption #461
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:37Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:28Caption #416
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:17Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:16Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:15Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:14Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:11Caption #453
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:10Caption #186
Mr. NonameLurker10:14:00Caption #845
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:59Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:58Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:57Caption #529
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:51Caption #833
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:50Caption #232
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:49Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:48Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:47Caption #256
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:38Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:37Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:28Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:24Caption #572
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:21Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:20Caption #708
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:16Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker10:13:06Caption #251

Board [Post Message]

I am not blessed with many things; I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can not float cannonballs, I can not make beautiful girls dance forbidden dances in my head. This being said there is one thing I can do: random acts of pointless crime.

Picture a car (no officer not my car), a driver (no officer not I) lost in a maze of run down suburbia. Houses made in the 40s for the grey and mundane, once coloured with happy dog walking folks, pie baking mothers, gee-wiz kids, morgue stiff fathers. Now only the people who work the jobs that you won't work, live there; the people who "The Gap" moved out of your upwardly neighbourhood; the ones that drive fifty miles a way to say "Have a nice day!".

I stop the car at the biggest house in the neighbourhood, once perhaps the developer's home, now undeveloped, devolved, delightfully deadened. The front door is locked, but behind back there is a first floor window open above ivy choked latice. My hands are known to be strong, strong enough for ivy tangles, warped window panes, and strong enough to grip the inside molding and pull me quietly inside.

There is nothing so peaceful as a freshly broken into house, nothing I like more than to sit straight down on the old carpeting and stare into the dark of a new room and listen to the creaks and groans of a stranger's safe home.

The first room: a collectors dream, brik, brak, flik, flak, everything kitch, everything with a niche. Paintings interspace the walls, shining oils glowe in the half light, paintings of distorted people, cloud shapped children, hooded goblins. A large sign is attached to a door, "Toilet, use at your own risk", why would someone need warnings about their own bathroom? Inflatable animals, books on legs, books on movies, movies of books, books on books, half bodied mannequins with long shapely legs in soft hosery. I find myself sat on a large collection of 50s erotic fiction, with titles like: "The Mother Truckers" and "The Ladies' Barracks" with illustrated covers to match.

The next room is a dark and musty closet, making me wheeze, I am sure it's full of interesting things, but not what I'm looking for. You might ask what I am looking for, I don't know yet, something missing, something they have that was a part of me, more important than wanting, something I needed. I would be sure when I saw it.

The upstairs corridor is covered in bright cotton fabrics instead of wallpaper, I can't stop myself from brushing the material on both walls with my finger tips as I walk downstairs. The first downstairs room is a study, with books lining all the walls, I begin to giggle with joy. Pressing my back against a bookshelf and staring, my spine against the spines of books, the bookshelf moves as I press against it and some books move under my weight. Looking back I see that I pushed "The Last Jews of Berlin" and "Kermit reads to his nephew" deeper into the shelf, it's odd that anyone would put those two books so close together.

The living room contains two old couches and many desks, over the walls is the eerie sight of childrens' dolls nailed or pinned into place, there are too many things to look at, too much to describe. Everything in the room disolves to abstract, finally I see the object.

I have never felt so much bliss, finding the object that completes me in a stranger's house, it is perfection. Lying there on the floor under a newspaper, a simple silver orb, glimmering slightly. So soft and smooth, warm to the touch, the floating insides glowing in the light, flakes of white snow and silver sparks that swirl like dreams. Shaking it my whole world twist too, like a kaleidoscope that shows chaos instead of perfect order. Clutching it to my chest and heart, I run out through the front door, into my car and drive two streets before stopping between streetlights under a dark tree. Tired and overwhelmed I climb back into the back seat and with my neck cricked against the arm rest, my tight pants loosened and the shinging orb safe in my arms; I fall asleep.


There are 4 messages for this day.
<ajiav> damn you literate crooks!
<3Suns> You call that a rant? Where are the explosions? The beautiful women? The shadowy criminals? The... oh, wait, I guess there were shadowy criminals after all.

Awesome.

<guyPaulo> Keep the rants coming Mort. We like them.
<Mom> You're going right back in there and giving that shining orb back, young man! Did you think I wouldn't find out?!


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post