[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/08/2004 by Mort
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Like a nymphomaniac virgin bride, oil money...

...seduced the shameful George Bush away from the moral principals that made the office of president honest and strong,...

...and the twin threats of Saddam and Weapons of Mass Destruction, lured him into the murky waters of Iraq.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Sitting in a Mexican chain restaurant in close proximity to a chicken taco, two scoops of spanish rice, someone else's newspaper and a little plastic latin leprechaun's pot of salsa gold (chipotle); busily wondering why the cashier sneered at me when I said "no salsa" -- better salsa was just a skedaddle and a ladle away.

An old wise (read: cantankerous) lady scuttled over to me and cuttingly said, "Only children or idiots rest their feet on the top rung of a stool."

I was sat uncomfortably with my legs making sharp angles and my shoe heels resting on the top rungs of my stool as I ate and read the comics. I shamefully shifted to a more adult arrangement.

She peered and raised one hastly drawn spiders leg of a fake eyebrow, "Only children or idiots read the funnies," and continued, "and you are too old to be a child!"

I could only agree with her as I carefully removed the rice I had snorted out of my nose.

There are 12 messages for this day.
<ElvisThePelvis> Did you tell her, "Only Nosy Old Bitches talk to strengers about their lifestyle choices."
<jellyloo> "This is what I have been missing in my life!" (jump off top of stool while yelling) "TAKE ME HOME YOU JUDGEMENTAL OLD BAT I LOVE YOU!"
<Mort> Oh yeh, just what I need in my life!
<shininglion> I think you should have asked her to go with you on a long weekend in the Hamptons.
<Mort> The Hamptons crowd would definitely think she was a 'blast'.
<ajiav> too good
<Mort> What is too good?
<ajiav> as in "this is too good," a comment to indicate that I was enjoying the rant and the conversation that followed.
<Mort> :)

I think that woman might be outside right now, waiting for me to joyfully skip to my car to go home.

"Only children or idiots skip..."

<guyPaulo> She's right though.....
<Mort> Bah! I wonder what she will say about boys who don't eat their fiber!
<mypalmike> You should have picked your nose and flung the booger at her.

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