Sitting in a Mexican chain restaurant in close proximity to a chicken taco, two scoops of spanish rice, someone else's newspaper and a little plastic latin leprechaun's pot of salsa gold (chipotle); busily wondering why the cashier sneered at me when I said "no salsa" -- better salsa was just a skedaddle and a ladle away.
An old wise (read: cantankerous) lady scuttled over to me and cuttingly said, "Only children or idiots rest their feet on the top rung of a stool."
I was sat uncomfortably with my legs making sharp angles and my shoe heels resting on the top rungs of my stool as I ate and read the comics. I shamefully shifted to a more adult arrangement.
She peered and raised one hastly drawn spiders leg of a fake eyebrow, "Only children or idiots read the funnies," and continued, "and you are too old to be a child!"
I could only agree with her as I carefully removed the rice I had snorted out of my nose.
There are 12 messages for this day.
|<ElvisThePelvis> Did you tell her, "Only Nosy Old Bitches talk to strengers about their lifestyle choices."|
|<jellyloo> "This is what I have been missing in my life!" (jump off top of stool while yelling) "TAKE ME HOME YOU JUDGEMENTAL OLD BAT I LOVE YOU!"|
|<Mort> Oh yeh, just what I need in my life!|
|<shininglion> I think you should have asked her to go with you on a long weekend in the Hamptons.|
|<Mort> The Hamptons crowd would definitely think she was a 'blast'.|
|<ajiav> too good|
|<Mort> What is too good?|
|<ajiav> as in "this is too good," a comment to indicate that I was enjoying the rant and the conversation that followed.|
I think that woman might be outside right now, waiting for me to joyfully skip to my car to go home.
"Only children or idiots skip..."
|<guyPaulo> She's right though.....|
|<Mort> Bah! I wonder what she will say about boys who don't eat their fiber!|
|<mypalmike> You should have picked your nose and flung the booger at her.|