[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 01/21/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,

and they're like,

its better than yours,

damn right its better than yours,

I can teach you,

but i have to charge.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32
Mr. NonameLurker23:47:09drooled over #7

Current Users

There have been 58 users in the last 10 minutes.
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Board [Post Message]

To the above.

I am perturbed and perpetually perplexed about my missing friend Pat. He is somewhere in the deepest, loneliest Mongolia, lost to the world. Everyday I send him email, never expecting a reply, never expecting a single one to find him. I will never stop trying.

I don't think the Yak know just how to hold email, they slip through the holes in the rough hemp carrying bags. Dropping off into the vast tundra of unread emails, blowing in the dust of a land where once deep passionate electronic letters were king.

If only I could get a response, some clue that Pat is still out there; alone, desolate but safe. Maybe he is dreaming of Costa Rica, where he and I were meant to meet.

There are 43 messages for this day.
<Axolotl> Sorry about your friend, Mort. I hope he shows up soon.
<3Suns> Wow. Hope you hear from him soon. Have you talked to his family?

Cool new feature, by the way. I like it!

<ElvisThePelvis> Damn, now you can track my incessant surfing of mostemailed.
<Julie> Mort I am not a "Mr." You need to code in a feature that can detect the visitor's gender. Duh. (get working on it)
<mypalmike> Great caption Mort. But the "current users" thing is creepy.
<Ralph Kramden> What happens if you post as someone else, then?
<Mort> Well if you add a caption as someone else it will change.
I was just looking through my refer logs and thanks to guyPaulo I have been getting hits from people searching for "nakedgrannies". Check it out on google, I'm #2 for that search.
<Charlie> Cool, so now I've become Charlie, but I have to actually post captions as yoyology again to change back. Pretty cool. Is it cookie-based, or does it go by IP?
<Mort> Cookie-based.
<Ginger> Mort, I will remember your friend in my prayers. Hang in there.
<David Byrden> Cool. Now it's like a chat room, except much less efficient.
Let's get chatting... LOL BRB :) Are you a teenager? Describe your panties.
<yoyology> Anybody seen the Google Monkies today?
<3Suns> I see no panties here.
<yoyology> No panties? *drool* *pant* *drool*
<mypalmike> Hmm. Just mentioning nakedgrannies here should boost the pagerank. Aim for the top, nakedgrannies!
<Lauren> David, yesterday, right near where I live, the FBI arrested a 46-year-old man who was waiting to rendevous with the 12-year-old girl he met online. Although he claimed he was just meeting her for lunch, they found in his possession a 25 caliber revolver, condoms and viagra... The man's wife and two children could not be reached for comment.
<apple juice is a verb> I am sorry about your friend, Mort, but it is good to see that this sorrow doesn't prevent you from making good use of alliteration: "I am perturbed and perpetually perplexed about my missing friend Pat."
<mypalmike> Thank goodness my wife and two children are keeping their mouths shut.
<3Suns> I don't see your point Lauren... perhaps he was intending on paying for lunch by pawning the gun and hawking viagra to some raver kids. Completely innocent, just like Michael Jackson.
<3Suns> And a 25-caliber revolver? Are you sure? I didn't know 25-caliber bullets existed, much less that people would make revolvers for such a small bullet...
<yoyology> If he ever shoots me with that, and I find out about it....
<yoyology> I had no idea we had so many lurkers!
<yoyology> I suggest that the Caption Monkies be listed first, then the lurkers. Even better, we could just have a number "and 35 no-name lurkers" at the end.
Again, assuming I have any say....
<Mort> Seems like I have to deal with browsers that do not take cookies. Also some regulars seem to clear their cookies everyday, so they look like lurkers until they post.
<yoyology> You and me against the world, Mort!
<Mort> It is strange how things wind down after guest day.
<mypalmike> Is each lurker ID'ed by their ip, or is a lurker listed for each lurking event?
<Mort> It's by cookie, so each one should be individual people.
<Carol> I feel like such a deviant: "Mr. Noname, Lurker," lurking all alone. Well, not that I'm *not* a deviant, but it's not usually pointed out so plainly.
<yoyology> Another unsolicited, yet pithy suggestion: Could we have an option to create a header line that would fit between the photos and the caption boxes? I see a lot of folks trying to create headers (e.g. ...mostemailed.com... and ...mostemailed.com... and it might be cool to have it more formalized.
<yoyology> Heck, ...mostemailed.com... would have worked with the header line alone!
<Mort> Whats wrong with the current way of doing headers? Writing the text and hitting return twice.

Seems straight foward to me.

Carol post a caption tomorrow and you will cease to lurk.

<mrs. mort> plus, dont you allow the bold tag??
<yoyology> It's the centering that I want. I'm just picky that way.
<Mort> Ah! I understand now, looking at your example. I'll think about it, but your fortune looks doubtful.
<yoyology> Thank you, Magic Mort-ball! :-)
<guyPaulo> testing, testing....
<guyPaulo> Hhmm, I don't see my name. What teh crap?
<Mort> guyPaulo - did you actually read the messages on the board? You have to post a caption to get your name saved.
<guyPaulo> You know Mort, that kind of attitude is just what I'd expect from a "REGULAR" like yourself!
<mypalmike> He's ganging up on you. Hahah.

By the way, I think Carol is a professional groupie/lurker/non-poster.

<Carol> Surely I'm not the only spectator around here? I'm just the worst one at being quiet! Mort is going to force me to post some lame thing, though, with this business with the cookies.

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