[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 01/05/2004 by guyPaulo
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I've done some dumb things in my life. I gave away these ugly little "puppies" I found near the zoo. Turns out they're pretty valuable.

I dumped my girlfriend before summer because she and I couldn't agree on which Star Trek captain was best. Turns out she was pretty hot in a thong.

Probably the dumbest thing I ever did was when I tried to "high-five" a crocodile while holding a small baby. Turns out they don't like "high-fives," but they really, really like babies.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


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Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 17 comments for this caption.

<3Suns> ... dumped your girlfriend because you couldn't agree on which Star Trek captain was best... you can't make that kinda stuff up. Sounds like you have some real-life experience there...
<Lauren> This is very good, guy. Now if only I can convince you that Picard rules....
<guyPaulo> Bah! You could tickle me for hours and I'd still take a Klingon phaser for Kirk! He's the man!
<Lauren> Ack! As a captain, Kirk was always compromising the safety of his crew for a little nooky (maybe this is why you like him) and as an actor, Shatner is a ham. If you're really good, I may tell you about the time I met him in person ...
<guyPaulo> Fact: The mask for the killer (Michael Myers) in the "Halloween" movies is a mask of Captain Kirk painted white. True Story!
And Lauren...do tell us of your encounter with the good captain...
<Lauren> I grew up in an 'off-Broadway' suburb of NYC and so we used to get some fairly big stars coming through town. Shatner was appearing locally (just after the original series ended) and was asked to address our high school assembly. I was on the welcoming committee. He showed up three hours late, was fat and BALD, and so drunk he couldn't talk coherently. We tried our best to sober him up, but his address was a slurring mish-mash of nonsense. He was booed off the stage.
<guyPaulo> Thanks for shattering a golden image from childhood Lauren......(sob)(sniff)
<Lauren> It's a tough job, guy, but someone's got to do it. Blame it on my place in the family birth order... I wish I could say I was sorry, but...
<guyPaulo> That's ok. You're welcome to tickle me for a few hours anyway.
<yoyology> Sisko!
<Starbug> lol...
<Lauren> Starbug and I declare Picard the winner! Hah!!!
<guyPaulo> Well, Picard wins, but only because Data is cool...
<3Suns> I'm sorry, but the "thong song" guys was not a Star Trek captain!
<Picard> Lauren is correct, you know. I do, what is the venacular .. oh yes .. rock.
<David Byrden> I don't blame Kirk at all. The loss of his ship, loss of the glorious ability to traverse the stars and shag alien women, would drive any of us to drink.
Plus the constant, nightmare stress of boldly going into sliding doors that might not open for you.

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