My girlfriend and I have real communications problems.
I asked her for a "hummer" and this is what I got. I guess I shouldn't complain too much.
I also asked her to "grab my fleshy dumbbell and do some curls until she gets a protein shot." The next thing I know, she's at the gym for an hour!
When she said she wanted me to go with her to the "pussy show" I got excited.
Turns out, the "pussy show" consisted of a 2-hour feminist/lesbian rant about how men suck and how period blood is beautiful.
I'd dump her, but she DID buy me the hummer...
(Reuters)
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