[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 12/22/2003 by guyPaulo
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I saw the grizzly spectre of death fast approaching me...

I heard the sound of an angel's trumpet calling me home...

Indeed, my entire life as a huge ass rat flashed before my beady eyes the second before that heartless Chinese bitch brought that mallot down on my skull.

I hope I give you diarrhea you evil, rat-eating cunt!
(AP)
(AP)
(AFP)
Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
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Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 18 comments for this caption.

<Lauren> I have to give you two ratings on this caption.

The first is because this is great!

<Lauren> And the second is because you used that 'c' word. Honestly, guy, bitch, slut, or whore would have made the same point, I think...

Do men not know how utterly offensive that word is?

<guyPaulo> I guess I'm just a product of the HBO generation. My mother is crying somewhere....
<guyPaulo> In my defense (however weak), I must claim artistic license. After all, it is not guyPaulo uttering the foul c-word here, but Mr. Rat the narrator of the sad tale.
<Lauren> Nice save, guy. It is just the sort of thing a rat might say....
<guyPaulo> Ouch! How quickly passion turns sour....
<Lauren> (((guyPaulo))) I am sorry if I sound a bit testy today. I have been waiting for my vet to call with the cytology on my dog's tumor and I guess I am edgy. You are still my favorite monkie.
<mypalmike> You two...
<guyPaulo> Lauren! I hope your pup pal is perfectly perky come Christmas...I also apologize for my insensitive "c-word" usage. We southern white male have much work to be done in the sesitivity area...
<Lauren> mike, if you don't mind, this was a private conversation... did you forget to lock the door, guy?
<guyPaulo> {click...}There we go. Darn kids keep opening the door....
<Mort> Sssh.. Come in here, I have a live camera in all the rooms...
<guyPaulo> Mort! You insult Lauren's honor by implying that she would be so quick to cavort with such a lout as I. I demand satisfaction sir!
<Mort> Bring it on redneck!

<guyPaulo> Let me put down my mint julip and step off the porch, then we'll walk ten paces and draw sir!
<guyPaulo> BTW, a quick duel won't hurt my chances of winning the caption contest will it Mort, old buddy old pal?
<MLimburg> I'm confused ... you use the word C*NT like it's a "bad" thing ...
<mypalmike> There's an apostrophe in CAN'T.

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