[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 03/28/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Hush, little baby, don't make a sound

Mama's gonna buy you a little hound

If that little hound don't bark

Mama's gonna feed it to a hungry shark

Then Mama's going to chop up that good for nothing f*$%ing son of a b*&ch who knocked Mama up and ran away.
(AP)
(Reuters)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker15:05:46drooled over #54
Mr. NonameLurker08:23:46drooled over #666
Mr. NonameLurker13:52:24drooled over #76
Mr. NonameLurker08:51:51drooled over #102
Mr. NonameLurker09:22:14drooled over #555


Current Users

There have been 374 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:18Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:16Caption #81
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:15Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:13Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:11Caption #759
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:08Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:07Caption #600
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:06Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:04Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:03Caption #623
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:02Caption #341
Mr. NonameLurker07:47:01Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:59Caption #684
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:58Caption #356
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:57Caption #-28
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:55Caption #732
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:52Caption #222
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:51Caption #466
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:50Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:49Caption #672
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:47Caption #943
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:45Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:44Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:43Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:39Caption #118
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:35Caption #261
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:32Caption #107
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:27Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:25Caption #88
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:24Caption #496
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:23Caption #565
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:19Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:15Caption #55
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:11Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:07Caption #205
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:06Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:03Caption #290
Mr. NonameLurker07:46:00Caption #443
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:59Caption #110
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:55Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:53Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:51Caption #328
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:50Caption #944
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:49Caption #447
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:48Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:47Caption #796
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:43Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:42Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:39Caption #678
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:35Caption #761
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:31Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:30Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:29Caption #229
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:27Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:25Caption #676
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:24Caption #835
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:23Caption #551
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:18Caption #275
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:15Caption #336
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:13Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:11Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:09Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:08Caption #208
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:07Caption #763
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:06Caption #375
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:03Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:02Caption #493
Mr. NonameLurker07:45:01Caption #441
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:59Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:55Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:54Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:51Caption #522
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:48Caption #894
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:47Caption #197
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:43Caption #704
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:40Caption #29
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:39Caption #769
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:36Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:35Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:31Caption #718
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:30Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:27Caption #579
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:26Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:25Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:23Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:22Caption #362
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:21Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:19Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:15Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:14Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:11Caption #109
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:09Caption #157
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:07Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:05Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:04Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:03Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker07:44:02Caption #656
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:59Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:58Caption #449
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:55Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:53Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:51Caption #584
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:49Caption #492
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:47Caption #-42
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:46Caption #-15
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:43Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:39Caption #446
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:35Caption #674
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:33Caption #555
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:32Caption #686
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:31Caption #566
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:28Caption #361
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:27Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:23Caption #308
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:22Caption #379
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:18Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:15Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:14Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:11Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:08Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:07Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:05Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:04Caption #316
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:03Caption #524
Mr. NonameLurker07:43:02Caption #246
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:59Caption #591
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:58Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:57Caption #144
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:54Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:51Caption #701
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:48Caption #787
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:47Caption #160
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:46Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:45Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:43Caption #-14
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:42Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:39Caption #83
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:38Caption #119
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:36Caption #206
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:35Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:34Caption #537
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:33Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:32Caption #871
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:31Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:27Caption #124
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:26Caption #455
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:25Caption #773
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:23Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:19Caption #599
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:15Caption #281
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:12Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:11Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:08Caption #829
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:07Caption #17
Mr. NonameLurker07:42:03Caption #612
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:59Caption #339
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:58Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:55Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:53Caption #337
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:52Caption #469
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:47Caption #512
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:45Caption #585
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:43Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:41Caption #630
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:40Caption #355
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:35Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:32Caption #106
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:31Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:30Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:29Caption #399
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:28Caption #287
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:27Caption #590
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:26Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:25Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:24Caption #115
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:23Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:22Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:21Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:20Caption #190
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:19Caption #19
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:16Caption #747
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:15Caption #791
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:13Caption #113
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:12Caption #371
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:11Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:10Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:09Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:07Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:06Caption #581
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:05Caption #569
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:04Caption #392
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:01Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker07:41:00Caption #112
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:57Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:56Caption #714
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:55Caption #745
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:54Caption #640
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:53Caption #-46
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:52Caption #-11
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:51Caption #-18
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:50Caption #-18
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:49Caption #-44
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:48Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:47Caption #914
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:45Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:43Caption #191
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:42Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:41Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:40Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:38Caption #625
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:37Caption #391
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:36Caption #354
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:35Caption #188
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:34Caption #212
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:33Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:32Caption #753
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:31Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:30Caption #533
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:29Caption #621
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:27Caption #886
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:26Caption #167
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:25Caption #488
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:24Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:23Caption #63
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:21Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:20Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:19Caption #145
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:17Caption #108
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:16Caption #953
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:15Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:14Caption #531
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:13Caption #546
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:12Caption #758
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:11Caption #422
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:10Caption #568
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:09Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:08Caption #849
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:07Caption #553
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:06Caption #51
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:05Caption #387
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:04Caption #223
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:03Caption #472
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:02Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:01Caption #161
Mr. NonameLurker07:40:00Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:59Caption #-33
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:57Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:55Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:54Caption #207
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:52Caption #431
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:51Caption #749
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:50Caption #860
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:49Caption #215
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:48Caption #102
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:47Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:46Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:45Caption #661
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:44Caption #386
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:43Caption #821
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:42Caption #717
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:41Caption #90
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:40Caption #679
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:39Caption #735
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:32Caption #539
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:27Caption #238
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:26Caption #510
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:25Caption #499
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:24Caption #611
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:23Caption #664
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:22Caption #168
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:21Caption #696
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:20Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:19Caption #523
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:17Caption #365
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:16Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:15Caption #822
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:14Caption #218
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:13Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:12Caption #648
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:11Caption #727
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:10Caption #364
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:09Caption #738
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:08Caption #951
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:07Caption #185
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:06Caption #129
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:05Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:04Caption #870
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:03Caption #476
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:02Caption #254
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:01Caption #204
Mr. NonameLurker07:39:00Caption #100
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:59Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:57Caption #475
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:56Caption #904
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:55Caption #577
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:54Caption #916
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:53Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:52Caption #486
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:51Caption #330
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:50Caption #837
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:49Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:48Caption #771
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:47Caption #180
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:46Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:45Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:44Caption #910
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:43Caption #-7
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:42Caption #57
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:41Caption #333
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:40Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:39Caption #33
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:36Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:35Caption #312
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:33Caption #462
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:32Caption #226
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:31Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:30Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:29Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:28Caption #427
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:27Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:26Caption #390
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:25Caption #134
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:24Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:23Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:22Caption #513
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:21Caption #260
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:20Caption #163
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:19Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:18Caption #489
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:17Caption #228
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:14Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:11Caption #325
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:10Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:09Caption #682
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:07Caption #425
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:06Caption #670
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:05Caption #164
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:04Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:03Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:02Caption #313
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:01Caption #592
Mr. NonameLurker07:38:00Caption #245
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:59Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:55Caption #383
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:51Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:49Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:47Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:46Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:45Caption #70
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:44Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:43Caption #559
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:42Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:41Caption #358
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:40Caption #573
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:39Caption #329
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:36Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:35Caption #538
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:34Caption #363
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:33Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:32Caption #772
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:31Caption #777
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:30Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:29Caption #116
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:28Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:27Caption #893
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:26Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:25Caption #673
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:24Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:23Caption #913
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:21Caption #445
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:20Caption #424
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:19Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker07:37:18Caption #728

Board [Post Message]

Ok, time for a concise version for the weirdest, most epic dream I ever had.
From Saturday morning:

Aliens came and killed half the people on Earth, the other half they made into more aliens. I escaped and joined up with a band of resistance fighters. Sydney Bristow from Alias was also a member of the band, we decided to team up together.

The base for the resistance was the village where I grew up, and the head quarters of the aliens was the town four miles away. Sydney and I were put on a mission to get to the alien HQ and blow it up. To get there we had to take the train from my village to the town. We went to the train station, and this is where everything turned world war two, the aliens all became germans officers or people. We disguised ourselves as bravarian, Sydney wore a Bravarian dress (kinda like a swiss milk maid) with incredibly cute pigtails, I wore laderhosen.

We also took with us our 50 pet chicks and ducks and geese, they were also dressed in Bravarian dresses, and were holding each other by the wings and waltzing up and down the train platform.

We got on the train with our animals and sat down together, the train started and the conductor came to get our tickets. We didn't have any alien money so we made excuses and quickly jumped off the train at the next stop.

We were still 2 miles from the town, Sydney didn't want to walk down the tracks in case we were seen, I pointed out a door in the track wall and the forrest beyond. Sydney and I changed into our spy gear, she wore a catsuit, I dressed like James Bond, both of us put on elven cloaks, we went through the door.

We were walking around the edge of a field when in front of us we saw a hobbit, it was Frodo, on his quest to destroy the ring. Following Frodo secretly was Bilbo, so we secretly followed him. Frodo turned around and spotted Bilbo then started to talk to him, we dove to the ground so they wouldn't see us under our elven cloaks. Frodo spotted us but ignored us, Sydney whispered "Different story-line!" into my ear.

Then medieval horse men came over the hill, they must have been after Frodo. Bilbo and Frodo ran off into the forrest, we stayed on the ground under the cloaks hiding (and cuddling but don't tell Morticia that, come on Sydney is Hot!)One of the horse men saw us and came at me with an arrow. I grabbed the arrow and was about to run off when they threatened to kill Sydney. I told them I was a doctor and she was my nurse and that I had the King's arrow, I held up the arrow for them to see.

We were taken to a castle and into the King's chambers, he was sick. Using our knowledge from the future we healed him, but were still not allowed to leave the castle. In the courtyard we met up with two other members of the resistance, they were Lee Majors and the helicopter guy from Magnum PI. Lee Majors was holding a lyre and the helicopter guy was holding an olde-world double bass.

We did what any cheesy time travel based tv show/film would do in this predicament: we played rock music for the medieval people!

They loved it! They let us go and I woke up.

And that's the short version of the dream.


There are 19 messages for this day.
<David Byrden> Mort: there are some dreams that reveal dark secrets about your subconscious personality. And there are some dreams that are just crazy shit for the sake of it.

But this, I believe, is one of the rare dreams that accurately and precisely depicts the future.

<guyPaulo> I had a crappy weekend. the damn government took away my goats...
...story.news.yahoo.com...
<Mort> I welcome this future, just because it involves cuddling with Sydney Bristow and listening to the raw lyre rock skills of Lee Majors.
<Lauren> Mort, I have seen the future and can tell you only that Lee Majors is not part of it. Sorry.
<Jellyloo> I have seen an alternate future where everyone is Lee Majors.
<obtuse> I had a dream last week about an alternate dimension where everyone was a motorcycle. We were made out of 3 or 4 components that you could swap out to improve performance. It was kind of like a video game cause we were racing around a big track in the middle of a desert that looked strangely like my elementary school playground.
<Mort> "Being John Malkovich" might actually have been more amusing if it had been "Being Lee Majors".

Obtuse, your dream is reminding me of Automan.

<yoyology> guy, according to that article, you were also probed by the state of Vermont. I imagine that wasn't fun either.
<yoyology> Mort, I'd like to request the Hindu guy buried up to his neck for tomorrow. I've got ideas a-poppin'!
<guyPaulo> Thank you for your concern yoyo. The other monkie's seemed to just ignore my plight...
<Mort> He looks too far down the list to pick for a normal day. I will add him on guest day though.
<Kumiho> Oh dear, guyP. Did it hurt much? And how did you stand the stench?
<Kumiho> Or is that a stupid question to ask the coiner of the term "ED"?
<Kumiho> Is it me, or is the photo really about her assets? (Don't mind me, I just got back from my accounting class.)
<Kumiho> Oh, yeah, the photo....story.news.yahoo.com...
<guyPaulo> T&A is always a driving factor for the yahoo photos.
<mypalmike> Or just T.
<obtuse> Not especially young, supple T either.
<jeffR> Mort that is awesome


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post