[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 03/18/2004 by Mort
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Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry

When I sweep you out of this slurry,

When I take you out for a slutty, with no thiiiiiinng on top!


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain.

I can't say I am strictly fond of musicals, but there is something about that damn Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry song. I think the devil's work is behind it, I can't stop singing it sometimes, and often I don't rightly mind too much.

Oh, what a beautiful mornin', a friday morning. Can it get much better? Ev'rything's goin' my way.

Ok I'll stop now, back to listening to The Smiths and The Cure, and reading my book at 11:30 sharp.

There are 14 messages for this day.
<Lauren> Woke up to about five inches of white stuff, and still snowing. Will Spring never come to the Northeast? Will I have to leave this frozen tundra to finally smell the blooming bulb plants and lilac that herald warmer weather? Send help.
<Carol> We got that snow earlier in the week, and a lot more of it. Don't worry, it will be gone in a couple of days.
<Carol> I will try sending out psychic subliminal suggestions for the return of mypalmike. Or, of course, possibly he could just read about them here ... my aim is not very good with the psychic suggestions, who-knows-what could end up being summoned.
<Lauren> Probably another Roger Mexico alter ego.
<3Suns> Are you waking up to five inches of white stuff? Sick of living with a dry, itchy scalp? Try Selsun Blue!
<Kumiho> Wow, I guess I shouldn't mention that my yellow jasmin is in bloom, or that all the cherry trees are littering their pink blossoms all over the place.
<3Suns> Kumiho mentioned
her cherry blossoms blooming.
Perv joke, or haiku?
<Kumiho> That depends 3Suns
do you get off on plants sex
organs? I do not.
<Kumiho> Okay obtuse, you win.
<mypalmike> Hey everyone, I'm back from San Josť de Cabo, Mexico! What a great little vacation. But I did not see Roger Mexico there. And I left my nice Fuji digital camera at the hotel. Oh well, I guess I'm due for an upgrade to a new 20 gigapixel cameras anyhow. Here's a tip to other pale white people: when applying suntan lotion, apply liberally and consistently, or you may end up with a weird swirly-shaped sunburn.
<mypalmike> Kumiho was not from Nantucket
She grew cherry plants in a bucket...
<Lauren> Welcome back mike. We missed you. I had a 'thing' about moving to Baja California after 911. I figured it was somewhat close to the US but of little strategic consequence in the grand scheme of things. Then I realized that description also fit Philadelphia, so I stayed put.
<mypalmike> Oh and thanks for the psychic suggestions, Carol.

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