[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 01/25/2004 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

It's the dawn of a cool brand new year.

The year of the monkey looks like it's going to be very colourful one.

In fact I've already broken my new year's resolution.
(AFP)
(AFP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker07:14:24Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker07:12:32Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker07:10:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker07:09:59Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker07:07:47Scrawled on the board


Current Users

There have been 303 users in the last 10 minutes.
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:43Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:42Caption #1
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:41Caption #788
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:40Caption #277
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:37Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:33Caption #302
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:30Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:29Caption #464
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:27Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:26Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:25Caption #649
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:22Caption #395
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:19Caption #293
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:18Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:14Caption #243
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:13Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:11Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:10Caption #520
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:09Caption #340
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:05Caption #64
Mr. NonameLurker09:37:01Caption #335
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:57Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:55Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:53Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:51Caption #430
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:49Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:47Caption #663
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:45Caption #244
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:41Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:40Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:39Caption #7
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:37Caption #622
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:35Caption #378
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:34Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:33Caption #659
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:30Caption #912
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:28Caption #61
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:27Caption #380
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:25Caption #739
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:24Caption #20
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:23Caption #396
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:22Caption #38
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:21Caption #315
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:19Caption #418
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:17Caption #47
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:16Caption #872
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:12Caption #426
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:10Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:08Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:06Caption #54
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:03Caption #474
Mr. NonameLurker09:36:02Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:58Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:57Caption #543
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:54Caption #286
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:53Caption #30
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:52Caption #224
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:51Caption #799
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:50Caption #766
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:49Caption #93
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:47Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:45Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:42Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:41Caption #716
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:38Caption #153
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:37Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:33Caption #288
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:30Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:29Caption #159
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:25Caption #307
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:22Caption #24
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:19Caption #609
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:18Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:17Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:13Caption #104
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:10Caption #291
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:09Caption #500
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:08Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:06Caption #16
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:05Caption #299
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:03Caption #147
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:02Caption #89
Mr. NonameLurker09:35:01Caption #805
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:59Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:58Caption #235
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:57Caption #436
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:55Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:54Caption #415
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:53Caption #480
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:52Caption #556
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:51Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:50Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:49Caption #618
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:46Caption #615
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:45Caption #146
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:42Caption #279
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:40Caption #252
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:36Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:35Caption #25
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:33Caption #643
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:31Caption #170
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:30Caption #836
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:29Caption #808
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:25Caption #241
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:23Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:21Caption #105
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:19Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:16Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:14Caption #541
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:13Caption #867
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:09Caption #632
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:06Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:04Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:01Caption #165
Mr. NonameLurker09:34:00Caption #878
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:59Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:57Caption #138
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:56Caption #14
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:55Caption #114
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:54Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:53Caption #137
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:51Caption #101
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:50Caption #117
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:49Caption #644
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:48Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:44Caption #852
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:42Caption #477
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:41Caption #503
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:38Caption #250
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:37Caption #564
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:36Caption #779
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:33Caption #125
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:32Caption #4
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:31Caption #103
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:30Caption #465
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:29Caption #784
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:28Caption #756
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:27Caption #698
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:26Caption #680
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:24Caption #62
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:21Caption #79
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:20Caption #722
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:17Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:14Caption #219
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:09Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:06Caption #192
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:03Caption #135
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:01Caption #13
Mr. NonameLurker09:33:00Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:59Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:58Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:57Caption #151
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:53Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:48Caption #177
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:46Caption #11
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:45Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:44Caption #540
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:43Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:42Caption #811
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:40Caption #295
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:39Caption #162
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:37Caption #283
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:34Caption #128
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:33Caption #58
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:32Caption #34
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:31Caption #156
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:30Caption #15
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:28Caption #881
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:27Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:26Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:24Caption #637
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:23Caption #725
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:20Caption #896
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:17Caption #141
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:15Caption #99
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:11Caption #429
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:10Caption #82
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:05Caption #200
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:04Caption #251
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:03Caption #23
Mr. NonameLurker09:32:01Caption #94
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:59Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:57Caption #797
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:56Caption #352
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:51Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:49Caption #440
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:43Caption #10
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:41Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:40Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:39Caption #452
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:36Caption #639
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:34Caption #907
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:32Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:29Caption #203
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:28Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:27Caption #485
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:26Caption #152
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:21Caption #120
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:18Caption #563
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:16Caption #846
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:12Caption #198
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:11Caption #613
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:10Caption #926
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:09Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:06Caption #606
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:05Caption #140
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:03Caption #497
Mr. NonameLurker09:31:01Caption #879
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:58Caption #783
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:57Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:56Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:53Caption #298
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:51Caption #71
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:50Caption #517
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:45Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:42Caption #856
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:40Caption #357
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:38Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:37Caption #614
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:36Caption #840
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:32Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:30Caption #953
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:28Caption #794
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:27Caption #774
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:24Caption #5
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:20Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:17Caption #309
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:16Caption #775
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:14Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:12Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:11Caption #377
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:10Caption #495
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:09Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:04Caption #409
Mr. NonameLurker09:30:00Caption #56
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:59Caption #507
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:56Caption #895
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:55Caption #976
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:53Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:52Caption #494
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:51Caption #535
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:50Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:48Caption #68
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:44Caption #8
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:41Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:40Caption #345
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:38Caption #459
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:37Caption #724
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:36Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:35Main Page
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:33Caption #884
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:32Caption #454
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:30Caption #410
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:28Caption #305
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:25Caption #888
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:24Caption #490
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:22Caption #506
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:20Caption #72
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:19Caption #193
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:16Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:14Caption #437
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:12Caption #111
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:08Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:07Caption #0
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:04Caption #6
Mr. NonameLurker09:29:00Caption #444
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:59Caption #802
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:56Caption #562
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:52Caption #42
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:51Caption #9
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:50Caption #736
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:49Caption #211
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:44Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:42Caption #276
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:41Caption #628
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:40Caption #642
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:38Caption #343
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:37Caption #776
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:36Caption #76
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:35Caption #127
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:33Caption #351
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:32Caption #67
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:28Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:24Caption #214
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:21Caption #842
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:20Caption #587
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:16Caption #597
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:12Caption #139
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:11Caption #240
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:08Caption #48
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:06Caption #726
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:05Caption #259
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:04Caption #3
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:01Caption #482
Mr. NonameLurker09:28:00Caption #126
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:57Caption #402
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:56Caption #150
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:54Caption #882
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:53Caption #142
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:52Caption #273
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:49Caption #2
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:48Caption #744
Mr. NonameLurker09:27:44Caption #254

Board [Post Message]

I'm sure all of you have had that feeling that someone is talking about you.

"My ears are burning", my mother used to always say, then she would find her an apple to help her workout the first letter of the name of the person talking about her. This last friday I had the chilling feeling that someone was crying out for me. There was nothing I could do for them, since I was all out of apples.

This Saturday morning I had the best dream I have ever had, this time I wasn't dying. Oh! No it was much worse than that.

It started in some city, I parked my car in a very bad area of town, on top of a skyscraper for some reason. I was wondering, wandering around the worst area of town, when I saw an internet booth. So I decided to use it to check out the website of a man who I want to be friends with, but who actually hates me.

His website turned out to be a large eBay auction website with a large image of his warehouse and all the weird stuff he sold. I was staring at the image on the screen when I suddenly realized that I was in the warehouse, it was a large barn in a forest, just off a main road. I decided to look for something to buy from him, so I could email him, and perhaps we could be friends. I walked around, the warehouse was crowded with people. I saw the cash register so I decided to walk towards it to see if he was there.

When I got into full view of the register I saw someone else selling items. Someone radient. Suddenly everything else in the warehouse blured into abstract, she stood out in stunning full detail.

She glanced my way and our eyes met for an instance. I quickly turned and walked out towards the door, feeling intense shame for being where I was.

I reached the road, when I finally couldn't resist glancing back. She had followed me out, and again everything melted into abstract except her.

She saw me, I saw her mouth "Oh fuck!" and then smirk ruefully. I turned and started to walk towards her, she walked towards me. We were just about to speak, WHEN I WOKE UP!

When I woke up I desperately needed chocolate, but I had none. American chocolate is pretty awful, with the exception of what I call Schnarfen Barfen because I can never remember what it's real name is.


There are 35 messages for this day.
<Mort> I've been having some weird dreams recently.
<David Byrden> There are dreams wherein your subconscious is trying to tell you something profound about your life.

And there are dreams where you are just making up wierd shit as you go along.

<Axolotl> Mort, I like your new blog-style editorials! Keep'em coming!
<guyPaulo> I dreamed I was smoking pot with Paris Hilton last night. Seriously.
<yoyology> I had a dream where I was standing in sort-of Sun God robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me.

Why am I the only one who has that dream?
<3Suns> I don't think you are, yoyo. I seem to remember a certain Val Kilmer having a very similar one.
<3Suns> Ok, that pic of Johnny Rotten and the model and the koala is just about the funniest thing I've seen in a while. I don't know how I'd caption it though...
<guyPaulo> Damn it. My attempt to block my id from Mort's log has failed.
<Lauren> Suggestions please: I have a HUGELY important job interview tomorrow. Last week, I put all of my suits and my down coat in the cleaners for pick up today. We had a huge storm last night and the cleaner is closed for the day. Can I break their window to retrieve my clothing?
<yoyology> I once traveled for a job interview only to discover I'd forgotten my suit. I went to Name Brand Clothing and found a nice spring suit for about $50. It was my lucky interview suit from then on. I hope you have as much luck, Lauren.
<Mountaineer> Mort, That dream RAWKS. Seriously.
<Mort> Thank you Mountaineer. It might rawk, but it ruined my weekend.
<Mort> Mountaineer: Would you be kind enough to post some captions some time?
Lauren: I closely follow the wonderful world of fashion. Suits are out right now, just let the dry clean keep them. What you need for any interview is some sweats with the word "JUICY" on the ass and a thong. Make sure the pants are pulled down far enough to expose the thong. Also make sure you bend over infront of the interviewer enough to show that thong off. That look OMG is so like the most like attractive look in the world OMG.
<Mountaineer> I will do what I can with what I have. I am a spy, you know.
<Mort> I have a gift for you spy. I give you a meaninful silence, sit in it for a while and let weird ideas float into your mind.

Then pass that meaning onto the images.

<guyPaulo> Uhhmmmm, Mort might be kidding, but that thong trick did work for me when I interviewed for that alter boy position.....
<Lauren> Unfortunately, I was away for five days and my juicy sweats as well as all of my thongs (and both sets of pasties) are in the wash.
<guyPaulo> I would be MORE than happy to loan you my thong Lauren......
<Mort> Doesn't she already owe you a pair of Caption Monkie underpants?
<JulieK> I dreamed last night that a ghost was putting spiders on my head :(
<Mort> Just how does a ghost pick up spiders Julie?
<Lauren> Last night I dreamed that I was broke and out of work and .... wait a minute ... that was not a dream...
<3Suns> Lauren, is it an option to just go out and buy a new suit? I don't think the interviewers would be very impressed if you committed a felony to look good at the interview...
<guyPaulo> That depends on the job, 3Suns. If Lauren is trying to get a job with an Asian Street Gang, a felony might just do the trick.
<JulieK> He moved them with his mind, Mort.
<Mort> A male ghost dropping spiders on your head? I think some ectoplasm has a crush on you!
<Jellyloo> I think I know what that is like. Moving things with my mind, that is.
<Mort> I just decided to write a children's story about a 9 year old boy and the ghost of an 8 year old girl.
How coincidental.
<Jellyloo> very. Sounds like a love story.
<Mort> No it's not. It's a story of friendship, but it is very dark.
I need someone to write the girl's viewpoint. I know who my first choice is, and JK Rowling (my second choice) is not returning my phone calls.
<Jellyloo> I know a writer, but she is having some trouble with his hands. I think he had an allergic reaction to a mosquito bite. That does nothing to help you. I will see if my writer knows a writer.
<Mort> That would be most helpful. I need someone female who has a quirky imagination, but knows how it feels to be dark.
Email me sometime if you can think of a match.
<Saltydawg> My girlfriend sounds just perfect for your endeavor. I will ask her if she is interested.
<Mort> Thank you both. I will start writing the first chapter right now. While I am being paid to do other work...
Maybe, like this website, something will come of this.
<Carol> Not as a collaborator suggestion, but possibly entertainment for those who may be so inclined :
...www.eventhorizon.com...


Post message:
Name:
Message:

Click the monkey to post