[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 08/14/2003 by David Byrden
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"He collects Smurf dolls. He doesn't wash his hair for weeks. He can't hold down a job. He always uses novelty condoms."

"He's deaf and short sighted and he's the fattest man in town. His only friend is the second fattest man. He always gets them thrown out of restaurants."

"Omigod omigod if you ever break up, can I have him, please please please?"
"In your dreams, sister, this one's a keeper!"
(AFP)
(AFP)
(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
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Comments on Alternatives [Add Comment]

There are 90 comments for this caption.

<Blue> 
<Speedtheplow> One of your best, David. Do you write for Will and Grace?
<Caranaviveme> you are stupied and hot
<veronica> afp is like the fatest person he might as well pray and stop eating or he will squash us all and sorry about hurting his feeling but it will take about 7years to be skinny.
<amber furrer> soorry but i feel that he needs to lose some weight or he will squash us and by the u know he could get famous by making amovie called fat man returns
<veronica goudette> afp is like the fatest person he might as well pray and stop eating or he will squash us all and sorry about hurting his feeling but it will take about 7years to be skinny.
<Fuck you asshole!> niggers suck!
<Fuck you asshole!> I am a k.k.k member, so fuck all niggers to hell. I want to rape all nigger girls
<Fuck you asshole!> Fat people suck
<trash mouth> Go to scat girls on google
<trash mouth> i hate martin luther king he's a fucking asshole!
<what ever> all retards should be exacuted, they bug the crap out of me!!!! god damn it why are they even here on this planet, they should be on mars!!!!
<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> retards should be roadkill!!!!
<Mr. Nigger> I hate all niggers and retards they should all be gased and the retarted girls should all be raped then have a knife stabbed in their visginis after being rapped. I... Well fuck all negroes, blacks suck huge gihugesluges cock. did you go to scat girls i went there and girls were eating eachothers shit yum!
<Mr. dildo> I hate martin luther too. he's a dick sucker.
<Mr.shit bag martin lutherking.> My speech is all niggers should be slaves and all retards should be sent to DEATHCAMPS!!! I... i am very racist agianst fat people and i fucking hate fat people especially the 2 fat fuckers above.
K.K.K
<member of K.K.K> All niggers go to hell! All fat people should have thier bluber cut out of them and used as lamp shades or some shit like that rather than having to look at a live fat asshole with a super fat ASS! I am so happy Daniel Pearl had his head cut off!
<member of K.K.K> Fuck all nigger churches and nigger communities; all niggers should have their head's sawed off while they're still alive. I wish some black journalist would get kiddnapped in Iraq and have his head cut off, i'd love to watch that. Fuck and I want to fuck all nigger girls then lick their pussy and slit their throats. I already rapped one 18 year old black girl believe it or not, I told here if she told any one she'd have her vagina stabbed. I had a great time fucking that fucking nigger!
<member of K.K.K> I thing I should not have said that, I hope I don't get told on, even though rapping not really rapping but touching her in places that make her uncomfortatble. I want to kill any one that tells on me! Fuck all retarted people i have no sympothy for them.

K.K.K ROCKS

<member of K.K.K> I will give you where i live i live in Alabama.
<member of K.K.K> That's it no more!
<John> Holy Shit man what kind of fucking racist ass hole would post that crap??? I WOULD FUCKERS!!! HA HA HA!!!!
<John> i'm back niggers ha!!! i fuckin hate colin powel. he's a fuckin Nigger!!!! I do not want a black president. I think we should put every retard except for the retarted girls (so I can fuck them hard) in a nuklear missle and send it to mars. I hate all racist people.
<John> Ku Klux Klan kicks fucking ass!!!
<k.k.k> I hate all blacks except when I get to have rough sex with the nigger girls (rape); i am not a sick person, I have every right to believe what ever the fuck I want to believe. It's a fucking free country. so Fuck all nigger I goddamn fucking hate them, FUCK I hate Niggers!!! And especially fat people.
<dominant nigga> LOOK BITCH ASS HONKY MOUTHA FUCKAS U TRYIN TO TALK ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE I AM BLACK AND YALL WHITE PEOPLE ALWAYS RUN FROM SHIT SO U COULDNT KILL NOBODY BITCH BRING YO KKK SHIT BITCH I TAKE ALL YALL MUTHA FUCKAS.
<I am retarded> duuuuuhhhhhhhhhh! i was just fuckin with youu, i am not aracisit asshole. but i got what i was looking for an angry response! i made all that crap up. so fuck asll whites. and no i am not a kkk member. i am black you dumb ass!
<what ever> what ever i dont care what other people write on the site. normal people scare me.
<luca > sup with the fatt people and the condoms are cool and the girlz are HOT put more girlz on this site cya
<Hairy vagina> i lick my wifes hairy pussy! It's really relly hairy, but it's fun too. I don't do it that much but every once and a while I do it.
<Adam> I also cheat on my wife. she'll never find this site so I can spill out the truth and get rid of any guilt that I am holding.
<Sierra> Why do you cheat on your wife Adam??? It's the wrong thing to do! Who are you having an affair with?
<Adam> Amy, a girl I met on "myspace", why?
<Sierra> I don't know I guess I just wanted to know. Hey did you see that toilet mouth talking about how he or she hates blacks and fat people. Boy, that's cruel to say! I can't even believe that some idiot would post that kind of crap on the internet. But you know there will always be some idiot who feels he must post garbage on the Internet.
<Adam> Ya I read it, It's horrible that someone would even think like that. Obviously that person has some serious problems with different kinds of people. He has obviously stopped so... I honestly don't know what to say about it.
<mr.dildo 2> wow you fuckin dumbass.niggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggernigger
<mr.dildo 2> fuck niggr boys and girls
<black4life> I hate all kkk white fuckers bitch if u want to lick a black girls ass lick mine I HATE ALL WHITE PEOPLE SO FUCK OF!!!!!
<black4life> I WILL GET PENGE BOYS TO BANG ALL KKK MEMBERS AND KILL THEIR WHITE ASSES & BRITON BOYS & PECKAM BOYS SO KKK MEMBERS WHAT OUT BITCHES
<black4life> ALL KKK MEMBERS ARE RAPISTS AND SICK IN THE HAED THEY NEED TO DIE AND I WISH ALL WHITE GIRLS WOULD DIE OF CANCER AND WHITE BOYS BLACK PEOPL ARE DA BEST SO WHITE PEOPLE NEED TO FUCK OF BEFORE THEY BET SHOT DOWN
<K.K.K> FUCK ALL NIGGERS TO HELL!!! I'D LOVE TO LICK YOUR ASS NIGGER WHORE, BITCH, CUNT!!!!!
<K.K.K> FUCK YOU back4life I HATE YOUR FUCKIN NIGGERD ASS GUTS!!!
<ANUSSS> ANUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
<KKK LOVE> I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggGGGGERS
<fuck all niggers> fuck all niggers to hell i hate all black people actually they aren't even people there its. its color reminds me of my own shit!Nigger suck my big hairy cock. niggers suck my big hairy cock. niggers suck my big hairy cock, niggers suck my big hairy cock! I raped a nigger girl and stuck my huge, hairy penis in her big discusting hairy negro ass nigger, black butt hole.

Penis Bot.

<K,K,K> 
<K,K,K> All niggers can kiss my big black hairy ass
<Fuck niggers to cock land!> I hate all niggers!!! They don't deserve any rights at all. I raped a little black girl named Sheela. I told her that if she told her parents that i'd rap and kill her mom.
<Fuck niggers to cock land!> fuck niggers, fuck niggers, fuck niggers
<K.K.K> I hate all blacks!
<K.K.K> I am not a Nigger!
<K.K.K> Whites are better that niggers!
<K.K.K> I want to rape all nigger girls then stick a stick of dynamite in their pussy. Fuck, all niggers should be shot at death camps or gassed. I hate all niggers, niggers suck my hairy and I mean very hairy cock. All niggers belong to Penis Bot.
K.K.K ROCKS ALL NIGGERS TO Hell!!!
<K.K.K> Thank you lord i am not a nigger! God said that all niggers will go to Hell and suffer in lots and lots of agony and pain for EVER!!! Did you know that niggers carry a Disease called niggerosis. It fucks up your skin and turns it black and rotten like theirs is. niggers also have a penis disease called niggerdpenisitis, it kills your dick and turns it black like theirs is, it's very contagous.

Niggers suck!!!

<K.K.K> Niggers don't even have a penis, they have a black, rotten hotdog, not a dick.
<K.K.K> Fuck niggers, niggers don't even deserve an education they deserve to have niggerosis. i HATE all niggers.

Nigger!

<salatona> am talking about the one commenting on negros. am saying to him that all people are equal and i strongly believe that negros are much wiser than you. And I would like to add that some negro girls have very very attractive body shape and many white girls want to marry black men. That is enough for wise people. Never try to deceive people by talking nonsens about black people
<Adam > I cheat on my wife and she's never going to find this site, so ha,ha... Fuck all white people and fuck all black people and fuck all albino people!
Adam
<Fuck you adam > You are disin white people you can go to hell ASSHOLE!!!
K.K.K
<black gay man> i think all yall have no life its just one of those things losers like you engage in juts because yall are stupid. yall never graduated from colledge shame on you stupid and ignorant and oblidging assholes
<K.K.K> Niggers suck! I hate all niggers they should be executed. Oh and FUCK you asshole and I am talking to you salatona, you can suck a big hairy cock you stupid ass bitch niggerd cunt. Do you have nigerosis salatona? because I think you do. you probobaly have niggerdpenisitis too, or the nastyniggervaginis disease. So fuck all black people and I am better than all black or nigger people! And I wish all niggers would die a very horrible death!

Mr. Hankie Poo

<Smith> Fuck all niggers to hell! I HATE all niggers with my warm and fuzzy heart! I'd kill all niggers if I could get away with it! Stupid negros they don't deserve anything except a cow's shit for dinner and that is it! I'm with you K.K.K member who ever you are, but I don't really care for negros at all either.

Smith

<Monster> niggers are stupid its, they are lower than dirt and I mean this much lower: 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% lower than dirt, even lower!
<Shaun> Fucking Niggers, Niggers are stupid animals if you ask me, and yes I do belong to the Ku Klux Klan. I despise niggers with all my shitin heart. Hey mr.K.K.K do you actually belong to the Ku Klux Klan or are you just calling yourself that??? Whether you are or not I agree with you 100% about niggers.

Ku Klux Klan member

<Shaun> Go K.K.k!
<Shaun> Go K.K.K!
<dominant nigga> I lick my dog's dick!
<salatona> i guess i am just a nigger lover!
<dominant nigga> hey you disin blacks bitch? if you are you can suck my big hairy cock along with that kkk scum bag.
<salatona> you are just one sick mother fucker!
<K.K.K.> Fuck you dominant nigga, you can suck my hairy cock nigger! I am part of the Ku Klux Klan and I hate all people who aren't white. there is that good enough for you dirty sperm heads? And I especially hate africans, they are discusting "its" if i had a slave, a nigger slave i would cut their dick off and make them eat it or I would make them stick their foot in their ass. So I really do NOT like niggers at all! This is for all you niggers out there: you all are dirty scum bags(condoms) and your niggerd kids discust the shit out of me looking at all that black reddish shit.
Go Ku Klux Klan!
<K.K.K.> oh and here niggers, niggers suck gihugeslugespuges penis!

K.K.K. Kicks all niggers to fuckin Hell!!!

<black camel> i hate what you're saying mr. kkk. I am black and I don't approve of what you're saying. I think you are a very and I mean a very,very racist person, you are foul mouthed and you are white trash. Salatona is very right about what they said about blacks. I hate the K.K.K. very much! God Bless America.
<Micheal> I have a statue of a penis in my bedroom that I jerk off to.
<black camel> Micheal you are a really sick, perverted sicko! Did you see what that kkk asshole wrote about blacks? man that is a very cruel and I mean a very cruel thing to say about someone. I can't even believe that someone would say something like that. but you know this is a free country so they can say what ever they want to say, as long as they don't take action on what their are saying they are just fine.
<K.K.K> Fuck all of ya assholes!!!
<Adam> fuck you kkk member, i hate the kkk they are racist bastards! i hate racist people like you kkk asshole!

Adam

<K.K.K> fuck you adam! i have never raped,killed or even arsoned a house down, but i am a Ku Klux Klan member, that i am, JACKASS!!!
<Adam> You should be roadkill shitbag!
<K.K.K.> adam you can suck a big hairy penis; as far as I am concerned. I am a lot more important than you and you are a stupid niggerlover! so how's that for a change?
<K.K.K.> Oh and one more thing you stupid niggerloving peice of scum, you can go to a meseum of micheal angelo's and suck on david's penis! So jack off bitch!!!
<Adam> I would kill you if i could you rotten peice of Motherfucking shit!
<KKK> Well ha,ha,ha,ha you stupid negrolover, you can't do shit about that! So I win okay?? Fuckbag!!!
<mr. nigger lovin cumbag> i love niggers vagina's.
<mr. nigger lovin cumbag> i hate all nigggers. niggerniggerniggernniggeriggerniggerniggernigger suck statue of david's cock!
<i love black people> im going to find out who all the meen people on here and im going to kill you ass holes with my nine
<Road Kill> retards are roadkill!
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<Uncle Kenny's Basement> Uncle Kenny's Basement --Gore videos, pictures and more... visit it on Google!
<Uncle Kenny's Basement> I am a fucking Bastard!

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