[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 07/20/2006 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

Extra large sperm.

Ostrich sized egg inserted with ample lubrication.

Is how this baby was conceived.
(AP)
(Reuters)
(AP)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


History

These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32


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Board [Post Message]



I have renewed mostemailed.com for another year. rejoice.


There are 72 messages for this day.
<JP> What did you do with my green wife and penta-baby, Mort? And where are the X-rays that the nurse sent down here a month ago?
<Mort> They have all been headbutted off the sidelines by The Great Zidane.
<reddman> It seems I have awaken from a long strange dream... am I back in Kansas???
<Axolotl> Yay! Long live the Monkeyhouse of Mort!
<Kumiho> We missed you Mort.
<JP> I still miss him. :(
<Lauren> Welcome back, Mort. What's up?

Hank and I finished building our deck (several years in the planning stage and nine days under construction). We had a Deck Warming Party and turned it into a surprise wedding.

<mypalmike> So, who got married? Two of the construction workers?
<Lauren> Actually, the answer to that is, yes, two of the construction workers: Hank & Lauren.
<mypalmike> Congrats Lauren!!!
<Mort> Woop! About time Lauren.
<reddman> lets see what lasts longer..the deck or the marriage...LOL
<allan> how big is that deck that you just did?
<mypalmike> Hmm, did you use a good sealant on the deck? I'd say 50/50 odds go to the deck if you sealed it right.
<Lauren> The deck is 16 x 27, with a staircase to the driveway and two doors into the house. We did not seal it at all. It is entirely made of non-degradeable materials that require no maintenance. Yeah!
<reddman> mmmmmm...I got a big deck too...wanna see?? LOL LOL , Lauren put away that pistol...nnooooo ...BOOM...aaaakkk...thud.
<JP> Coooool.. a long-range pistol!
<Juliek> Is Mort alive!?! Get it because mort? Alive? You see because...
<Allen> Dear Mort - Pole-a-palooza pictures are most emailed, and we're still looking at pictures of some yanker holding a fish?!
<JP> I get Julie's joke!

I'm special.

My mama tol' me so.

<reddman> If everyone is special...then no one is.

Sixty-nine. *DING*

<Lauren> 30 days, 69 captions... is this an all time record? Please, please, Mort, please come back to us. We miss you.
<Allen> I'm done. Good luck.
<Lauren> Hey, Reddman. What did you do that warranted the spate of spam on your first captions? Has anyone here ever clicked on any of those links? If yes, what happens? [I imagine something akin to armageddon for your hard drive.]
<JP> Lauren, all you other PC users, you're missing out. Those links are truly spiritual and uplifting and... oh never mind. I'm afraid to click on them, too.
<mypalmike> I clicked on one of the links. Shortly afterwards, the Crocodile hunter guy died. I'm not superstitious, but there's got to be some connection.
<Lauren> I thought the story about a stingray getting him was suspicious. I will not be reporting you to the authorities, Mike, but I think you should turn yourself in, or at least confess to a priest. Just for your own salvation.
<mypalmike> It's Greek to me.
<JP> I didn't know you were greek, Mike-san.
<mypalmike> nihongo wa muuzukashii desu
<Allen> Anata-wa myo na desu.
<wat> chill yo
<reddman> LAUREN-I attribute the reason I got spammed is because I'm witty and sexy.......really cause I was first in line I guess...
<JP> Just curious - how did you regulars discover Mort's site? (I think I linked to it from Scott McClouds site a while back.)
<Lauren> Mort's site was mentioned by Linky and Dinky (they have a weekly service where they send links to interesting sites) within the first few weeks of its inception.
< > ok.....
<3Suns> I read about it on Memepool (via Yoyology) years back...
<Allen> I think I saw an ad on TV for it if I recall correctly. Either that or I was driving down the freeway late one night, and there it was.
<mypalmike> memepool for me
<Carol> New York Times. No, really.
<Carol> I'm kind of jealous of Allen's "Paul on the road to Damascus" method of discovery.
<reddman> I think I found it while surfing for p0rn...while free basing coke....
<JP> Redd: what search terms were you using, son?
<3Suns> Coke is terrible for freebasing. All that caramel coloring produces a horrible smoke.
<JP> Try Crack-a-cola instead.
<mypalmike> The next big drug will be called sklank.
<reddman> SPAM ME baby!
Smear it all over my chest...let it drip onto the floor. Let me taste your spammy goodness...mmmmm....
<mypalmike> Does anyone here know where I could buy a replica watch? I swear it's impossible to find these things.
<ajiav> HELLO!!!
<JP> I am hearing things. I am hearing thingies.
<reddman> I think MORT will only update this borad once every year....
<JP> Now tell me again, Mort, exactly why you renewed the domain name for another year?
<bette noir> yeah....why....email him
<aaaaaaaaabbb> 
<apple juice is a verb> aaaaaaaabbb, that is the worst comment ever.
<lu-lu> I love Mr. Vickers from pearson GA!!!
<ajiav> We all love Mr. Vickers, lu-lu. We all do.
<mypalmike> Really. The love of Mr. Vickers, and persons from Pearson in general, is universal.
<mypalmike> Does that line EVER work?
<mypalmike> Please Mort! We need you! Spam is overtaking the site!
<ajiav> I think they are paying him to advertise.
<ajiav > For exciting games and prizes visit pepsi.com!

...(sorry, just wanted to fit in)*

*you fit in? hah!

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