[Most Emailed Photos] [Most Fortunate Fortune]

Most Emailed Photos - 04/19/2006 by Mort
<--  First Choose an alternative caption:  > Last   -->-->

What he thinks he has.

What she wants.

What he actually has... a little gumby.


The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.


These 5 things happened most recently.
Mr. NonameLurker06:44:49Scrawled on the board
Mr. NonameLurker19:25:25Scrawled on the board
apple juice is a verbCaption Monkie18:02:57Alternatiphized #23
Mr. NonameLurker23:59:00drooled over #3
Mr. NonameLurker23:55:29drooled over #32

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Board [Post Message]

There are 37 messages for this day.
<reddman> WHAT did we do to deserve THIS?? Thank you Mort!!!
<mypalmike> That gumby isn't exactly small.
<Lauren> Just so the rest of you monkies know what sorts of captioning opportunities we are missing while Mort is ... missing, I thought I'd share three. Maybe we can get a captioning contest going on here,




<Lauren> I'll start:

Photo 1: It was an udder disASSter.

Photo 2: I felt like somebody's painted pony (bet you were thinking I would make another ASS caption here.)

Photo 3: But still I won "Breast in Show."

<reddman> we want Mort
<Kumiho> Photo one: No matter how I dress I always feel like a heifer in fishnet stockings.
Photo two: I've tried all the fad diets, South Beach, Atkins, even that crazy Chinese flower petal diet.
Photo three: But it doesn't make any diiference I'll never slim down enough to capture the fickle love of Tzu Tzan Li the Dragonlady.

Okay, not nearly as funny as yours Lauren.

<Allen> 1: Check out the teats on this one. Udderly gorgeous.
2: Yeah, some chicks really overdo it with the makeup.
3: I agree, but sometimes it really gets me hot if it's done just right.
<Allen> 1: Check out the teats on this one. Udderly gorgeous.
2: Yeah, some chicks really overdo it with the makeup.
3: I agree, but sometimes it really gets me hot if it's done just right.
<JP> 1: The more I drink
2: the prettier
3: they get

Got Milk?

<josh > POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<josh > can you tell me what this is all about
<JP> Now, far be it from me to step on anyone's toes, but is there anyone here web-literate enough who has the time to take over Mort's slack? By that, I mean, create MEPopia anew through terraforming? Or by designing a site just like this one?
<reddman> not me....I'm just a web slacking strap hanger on monkey....
<Kumiho> And I'm the poster-child for HTML For Dummies, so no, can't help you there.
<mypalmike> I've thought of doing it. I even have webhosting with php and mysql...
<mypalmike> The only drawback would be the shear amount of bandwidth Allen sends to the site would be costly.
<mypalmike> OK, OK. I put up a very early alpha version of my caption contest on www.mypalmike.com. :)
<Allen> Everyone else is using more bandwidth to look at my captions than I use to post them. I appreciate the attention and love I get, not to mention the immense respect for being a prolific MEPlander, but the few bytes of text I publish per week is not going to break anyone. I could easily fit all the captions I've made thusfar on a since Commodore 64 floppy diskette, so please calm thyselves. Love and kisses... -Allen
<JP> OK, my caption is:

"Hello, kids! Smoke crack!"

www.mypalmike.com RULEZ! :)

<Kumiho> A very early version.
My caption ''You'll let me stick it where?''
<3Suns> Ike, does it have perl?
<mypalmike> I don't believe it has mod_perl. But evenif it did, egads, I hate perl. :)
<mypalmike> Allen, I was totally kidding! Your captions are indeed enjoyed by all here!
<mypalmike> Kumiho - that's just sick. I think.
<mypalmike> Hey, at the top of msn.com, there's this random "click here" thing that says "Instant answer: What's an axolotl?". Wacky.
<mypalmike> OK, www.mypalmike.com is vaguely functional. Rough edges abound.
<Kumiho> ::pouts:: Okay, so when Elvis does it it's crass, but when I make a crack about sex it's sick? Why can't I just get called crass?
<JP> ::snif:: nobody ever calls me sick or crass... nobody even calls me..
<Allen> The posts at www.mypalmike.com are just plain sick...thank you very much. Next show at 10 o'clock.
<Mort> I could set some code so that someone else could update the images. Of course you should all fight over who that should be. That would be the best solution I think.
<Carol stopping by> For something completely different, there is the New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest, where the aim is to write the worst caption for this week's actual contest cartoon.
<Carol stopping by> Oops, that didn't work sorry:
<mypalmike> Apparently, the New Yorker has an actual captioning contest...


<JP> I nominate Allen to update the images. Then, when he burns out (as scientists predict), you can take over again after a well-deserved rest, Mort.
<Mort> :)
<Allen> Would someone like to second the motion, or just let me know how I can update the photos?
<Kumiho> I second the notient. -er, motion.

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