Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - 04/10/2005

by ElvisThePelvis

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: <

Last -->-->

Dear Penthouse, I know every letter begins with I couldn't believe it happened to me, but here is my story. I was at party and I ran into a hot brunette who asked if she could see my hairy beast. Well, it was sleeping, but I pulled it out anyway. She immediately dragged me into her car and we headed for her place.

On the way, she handed me what appeared to be a pair of panties and some fishnet nylons. I looked at her quizzically and she repeated "Put them on". I figured I had nothing to lose. She stopped the car and I got out and put on the two fishnet nylon stockings and one red pair of panties with what appeared to be three leg holes. I put on the underwear first and my hairy beast popped out of the center hole. I guess they were crotchless. The nylons I put on next. I have a lot of hair on my legs and they just looked stupid.

I felt like a total ass. I wasn't being humiliated so much as I had been disappointed. My little beast was still asleep and traffic was in chaos from my free show. In the car she ket saying I looked "so pretty". It did nothing for me but I kept my mouth shut.

Once we got to her house, she started to play with herself. I asked if she needed any help and she said "Oh no, we are keeping our hands to ourselves".

Eventually, She appeared to have enough of me and I certainly had enough of this. I gave her a peck on the cheek and left. She told me she would "never forget me".

I wanted to let Penthouse letters know that this woman is a total fruitcake and that any readers should just avoid her dumb sex game. Thanks in advance for publishing this warning.

Love, Elvis

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 225 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:30 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:29 Caption #236

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:28 Caption #680

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:27 Caption #268

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:26 Caption #83

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:25 Caption #243

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:24 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:23 Caption #403

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:16 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:13 Caption #384

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:12 Caption #136

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:09 Caption #644

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:08 Caption #114

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:46:03 Caption #462

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:59 Caption #-32

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:58 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:56 Caption #229

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:54 Caption #485

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:53 Caption #644

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:52 Caption #807

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:51 Caption #773

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:50 Caption #38

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:49 Caption #182

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:48 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:47 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:46 Caption #650

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:45 Caption #823

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:42 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:40 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:38 Caption #745

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:37 Caption #866

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:36 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:35 Caption #138

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:30 Caption #569

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:27 Caption #819

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:26 Caption #735

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:25 Caption #465

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:23 Caption #863

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:21 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:19 Caption #639

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:18 Caption #164

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:17 Caption #585

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:16 Caption #154

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:15 Caption #761

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:12 Caption #426

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:11 Caption #346

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:10 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:09 Caption #228

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:08 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:07 Caption #384

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:06 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:05 Caption #236

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:04 Caption #337

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:03 Caption #426

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:02 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:45:01 Caption #689

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:59 Caption #132

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:58 Caption #68

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:57 Caption #461

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:56 Caption #563

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:55 Caption #98

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:54 Caption #256

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:53 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:50 Caption #695

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:40 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:38 Caption #597

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:28 Caption #876

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:21 Caption #876

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:20 Caption #232

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:19 Caption #286

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:18 Caption #191

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:17 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:16 Caption #643

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:15 Caption #89

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:08 Caption #282

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:07 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:06 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:05 Caption #9

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:04 Caption #83

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:03 Caption #902

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:02 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:44:01 Caption #860

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:58 Caption #341

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:53 Caption #385

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:51 Caption #200

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:48 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:44 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:39 Caption #21

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:35 Caption #60

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:32 Caption #651

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:31 Caption #151

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:30 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:29 Caption #366

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:28 Caption #85

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:27 Caption #604

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:27 Caption #228

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:22 Caption #435

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:18 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:15 Caption #836

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:12 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:11 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:10 Caption #793

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:09 Caption #403

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:08 Caption #7

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:07 Caption #690

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:43:03 Caption #191

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:59 Caption #772

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:58 Caption #323

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:56 Caption #800

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:49 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:47 Caption #37

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:44 Caption #650

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:43 Caption #775

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:39 Caption #345

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:37 Caption #705

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:32 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:30 Caption #516

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:27 Caption #686

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:25 Caption #780

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:20 Caption #68

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:15 Caption #357

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:11 Caption #739

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:04 Caption #867

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:42:02 Caption #501

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:59 Caption #173

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:57 Caption #219

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:55 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:54 Caption #578

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:53 Caption #445

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:51 Caption #550

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:48 Caption #44

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:44 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:43 Caption #511

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:40 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:37 Caption #248

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:34 Caption #216

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:27 Caption #318

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:26 Caption #687

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:24 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:12 Caption #532

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:11 Caption #22

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:08 Caption #414

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:03 Caption #939

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:41:02 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:57 Caption #613

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:56 Caption #721

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:54 Caption #608

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:53 Caption #357

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:50 Caption #404

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:48 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:40 Caption #225

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:39 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:37 Caption #259

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:29 Caption #-74

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:25 Caption #363

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:21 Caption #330

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:18 Caption #444

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:09 Caption #25

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:06 Caption #324

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:40:00 Caption #473

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:53 Caption #330

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:51 Caption #246

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:50 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:43 Caption #338

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:42 Caption #812

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:41 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:38 Caption #299

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:34 Caption #612

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:31 Caption #206

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:22 Caption #97

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:19 Caption #655

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:16 Caption #876

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:12 Caption #229

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:06 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:05 Caption #700

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:39:03 Caption #672

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:55 Caption #602

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:52 Caption #583

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:51 Caption #224

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:47 Caption #453

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:41 Caption #733

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:38 Caption #260

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:35 Caption #71

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:32 Caption #502

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:29 Caption #585

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:27 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:20 Caption #458

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:19 Caption #311

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:16 Caption #129

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:08 Caption #238

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:07 Caption #979

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:06 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:04 Caption #399

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:02 Caption #569

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:38:00 Caption #379

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:59 Caption #538

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:58 Caption #740

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:51 Caption #850

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:48 Caption #469

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:47 Caption #27

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:46 Caption #410

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:45 Caption #398

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:43 Caption #814

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:40 Caption #840

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:37 Caption #501

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:32 Caption #478

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:30 Caption #378

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:29 Caption #384

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:28 Caption #228

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:25 Caption #332

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:17 Caption #183

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:13 Caption #351

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:08 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:37:01 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:58 Caption #746

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:57 Caption #171

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:50 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:47 Caption #162

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:45 Caption #63

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:43 Caption #444

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:42 Caption #245

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:41 Caption #358

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:40 Caption #421

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:32 Caption #429

Mr. Noname Lurker 16:36:30 Caption #11

Comments on Alternatives

[Add Comment]

There are 5 comments for this caption.

<Bavid Dyrden> Dear Penthouse:
I bought this pornographic magazine and was overcome with feelings of lust. As soon as I got home I locked myself in the bathroom for a frantic game of pocket pool. Has this happened to any other readers?
<3Suns> Pocket pool, in a locked bathroom? Dude, you are a prude. =P
<mypalmike> This really happenned to you, didn't it, Elvis?
<ElvisThePelvis> Shut UP!!! It did not!! Not exactly like that...
<Kumiho>

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:

Click the monkey to post