Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - 04/10/2005

by ElvisThePelvis

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: <

Last -->-->

Dear Penthouse, I know every letter begins with I couldn't believe it happened to me, but here is my story. I was at party and I ran into a hot brunette who asked if she could see my hairy beast. Well, it was sleeping, but I pulled it out anyway. She immediately dragged me into her car and we headed for her place.

On the way, she handed me what appeared to be a pair of panties and some fishnet nylons. I looked at her quizzically and she repeated "Put them on". I figured I had nothing to lose. She stopped the car and I got out and put on the two fishnet nylon stockings and one red pair of panties with what appeared to be three leg holes. I put on the underwear first and my hairy beast popped out of the center hole. I guess they were crotchless. The nylons I put on next. I have a lot of hair on my legs and they just looked stupid.

I felt like a total ass. I wasn't being humiliated so much as I had been disappointed. My little beast was still asleep and traffic was in chaos from my free show. In the car she ket saying I looked "so pretty". It did nothing for me but I kept my mouth shut.

Once we got to her house, she started to play with herself. I asked if she needed any help and she said "Oh no, we are keeping our hands to ourselves".

Eventually, She appeared to have enough of me and I certainly had enough of this. I gave her a peck on the cheek and left. She told me she would "never forget me".

I wanted to let Penthouse letters know that this woman is a total fruitcake and that any readers should just avoid her dumb sex game. Thanks in advance for publishing this warning.

Love, Elvis

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 252 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:08 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:07 Caption #79

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:06 Caption #287

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:04 Caption #431

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:02 Caption #311

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:44:00 Caption #250

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:58 Caption #865

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:57 Caption #167

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:56 Caption #708

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:55 Caption #-43

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:54 Caption #531

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:52 Caption #598

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:51 Caption #146

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:49 Caption #209

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:48 Caption #448

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:47 Caption #637

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:46 Caption #845

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:45 Caption #554

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:44 Caption #18

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:43 Caption #464

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:42 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:41 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:40 Caption #485

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:39 Caption #348

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:38 Caption #515

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:37 Caption #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:36 Caption #-61

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:35 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:33 Caption #807

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:32 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:31 Caption #267

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:30 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:29 Caption #298

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:28 Caption #594

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:27 Caption #548

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:26 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:25 Caption #376

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:24 Caption #714

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:23 Caption #695

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:22 Caption #73

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:21 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:19 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:18 Caption #427

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:17 Caption #150

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:16 Caption #183

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:15 Caption #701

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:14 Caption #515

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:13 Caption #346

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:12 Caption #650

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:11 Caption #810

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:10 Caption #491

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:09 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:08 Caption #181

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:07 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:06 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:05 Caption #161

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:04 Caption #237

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:03 Caption #26

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:02 Caption #22

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:01 Caption #58

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:43:00 Caption #224

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:59 Caption #348

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:58 Caption #45

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:57 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:56 Caption #884

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:53 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:52 Caption #792

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:51 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:50 Caption #9

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:49 Caption #7

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:48 Caption #46

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:47 Caption #657

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:46 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:45 Caption #624

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:44 Caption #51

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:41 Caption #738

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:40 Caption #249

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:39 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:38 Caption #153

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:37 Caption #773

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:36 Caption #367

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:33 Caption #542

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:32 Caption #380

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:31 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:30 Caption #793

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:29 Caption #538

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:28 Caption #306

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:27 Caption #263

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:26 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:25 Caption #367

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:24 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:23 Caption #213

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:22 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:20 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:18 Caption #688

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:17 Caption #440

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:16 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:13 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:12 Caption #136

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:08 Caption #365

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:07 Caption #576

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:05 Caption #660

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:04 Caption #433

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:42:00 Caption #322

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:59 Caption #613

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:58 Caption #744

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:57 Caption #67

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:55 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:54 Caption #660

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:53 Caption #292

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:52 Caption #840

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:50 Caption #871

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:49 Caption #593

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:48 Caption #456

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:47 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:46 Caption #623

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:45 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:43 Caption #-28

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:40 Caption #741

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:38 Caption #698

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:37 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:36 Caption #-36

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:35 Caption #571

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:33 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:32 Caption #377

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:31 Caption #10

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:29 Caption #367

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:28 Caption #142

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:24 Caption #142

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:23 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:21 Caption #148

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:20 Caption #341

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:17 Caption #848

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:16 Caption #-54

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:12 Caption #730

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:10 Caption #627

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:08 Caption #951

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:04 Caption #625

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:41:00 Caption #309

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:58 Caption #486

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:57 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:56 Caption #6

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:52 Caption #326

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:48 Caption #161

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:46 Caption #153

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:45 Caption #796

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:44 Caption #702

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:41 Caption #587

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:40 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:39 Caption #764

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:36 Caption #835

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:34 Caption #211

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:33 Caption #659

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:32 Caption #439

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:31 Caption #508

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:28 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:24 Caption #151

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:20 Caption #622

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:19 Caption #728

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:17 Caption #302

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:16 Caption #484

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:12 Caption #596

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:08 Caption #287

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:07 Caption #809

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:04 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:40:00 Caption #110

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:59 Caption #352

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:58 Caption #857

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:56 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:54 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:53 Caption #424

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:52 Caption #660

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:50 Caption #104

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:48 Caption #548

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:47 Caption #289

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:46 Caption #277

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:44 Caption #366

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:43 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:41 Caption #21

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:40 Caption #136

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:39 Caption #27

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:36 Caption #110

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:32 Caption #826

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:31 Caption #468

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:30 Caption #456

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:28 Caption #392

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:27 Caption #-5

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:26 Caption #220

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:25 Caption #674

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:24 Caption #477

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:22 Caption #55

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:21 Caption #474

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:20 Caption #391

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:19 Caption #41

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:17 Caption #757

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:16 Caption #465

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:13 Caption #915

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:12 Caption #421

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:11 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:10 Caption #481

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:09 Caption #441

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:08 Caption #18

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:05 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:04 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:03 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:02 Caption #130

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:39:00 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:57 Caption #203

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:56 Caption #67

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:52 Caption #209

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:48 Caption #649

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:45 Caption #316

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:44 Caption #497

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:41 Caption #799

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:40 Caption #885

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:39 Caption #460

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:38 Caption #118

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:36 Caption #715

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:33 Caption #951

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:32 Caption #885

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:29 Caption #504

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:28 Caption #177

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:24 Caption #640

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:20 Caption #307

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:18 Caption #163

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:16 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:15 Caption #648

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:14 Caption #145

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:13 Caption #445

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:12 Caption #112

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:09 Caption #165

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:07 Caption #723

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:06 Caption #318

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:04 Caption #806

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:02 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:38:00 Caption #188

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:59 Caption #35

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:58 Caption #928

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:57 Caption #514

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:56 Caption #820

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:52 Caption #77

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:51 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:50 Caption #580

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:48 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:46 Caption #860

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:45 Caption #23

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:44 Caption #363

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:40 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:39 Caption #88

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:38 Caption #589

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:37 Caption #223

Mr. Noname Lurker 06:37:36 Caption #623

Comments on Alternatives

[Add Comment]

There are 5 comments for this caption.

<Bavid Dyrden> Dear Penthouse:
I bought this pornographic magazine and was overcome with feelings of lust. As soon as I got home I locked myself in the bathroom for a frantic game of pocket pool. Has this happened to any other readers?
<3Suns> Pocket pool, in a locked bathroom? Dude, you are a prude. =P
<mypalmike> This really happenned to you, didn't it, Elvis?
<ElvisThePelvis> Shut UP!!! It did not!! Not exactly like that...
<Kumiho>

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:

Click the monkey to post