Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - 04/10/2005

by ElvisThePelvis

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: <

Last -->-->

Dear Penthouse, I know every letter begins with I couldn't believe it happened to me, but here is my story. I was at party and I ran into a hot brunette who asked if she could see my hairy beast. Well, it was sleeping, but I pulled it out anyway. She immediately dragged me into her car and we headed for her place.

On the way, she handed me what appeared to be a pair of panties and some fishnet nylons. I looked at her quizzically and she repeated "Put them on". I figured I had nothing to lose. She stopped the car and I got out and put on the two fishnet nylon stockings and one red pair of panties with what appeared to be three leg holes. I put on the underwear first and my hairy beast popped out of the center hole. I guess they were crotchless. The nylons I put on next. I have a lot of hair on my legs and they just looked stupid.

I felt like a total ass. I wasn't being humiliated so much as I had been disappointed. My little beast was still asleep and traffic was in chaos from my free show. In the car she ket saying I looked "so pretty". It did nothing for me but I kept my mouth shut.

Once we got to her house, she started to play with herself. I asked if she needed any help and she said "Oh no, we are keeping our hands to ourselves".

Eventually, She appeared to have enough of me and I certainly had enough of this. I gave her a peck on the cheek and left. She told me she would "never forget me".

I wanted to let Penthouse letters know that this woman is a total fruitcake and that any readers should just avoid her dumb sex game. Thanks in advance for publishing this warning.

Love, Elvis

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 169 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:35 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:34 Caption #672

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:33 Caption #370

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:32 Caption #870

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:31 Caption #732

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:30 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:29 Caption #523

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:28 Caption #553

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:27 Caption #267

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:26 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:25 Caption #37

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:24 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:23 Caption #552

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:22 Caption #14

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:21 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:20 Caption #48

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:19 Caption #684

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:18 Caption #568

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:17 Caption #61

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:16 Caption #762

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:15 Caption #957

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:14 Caption #356

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:13 Caption #668

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:12 Caption #22

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:11 Caption #236

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:10 Caption #23

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:09 Caption #103

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:08 Caption #979

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:07 Caption #19

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:05 Caption #566

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:03 Caption #88

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:31:00 Caption #28

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:58 Caption #450

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:55 Caption #225

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:51 Caption #174

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:47 Caption #484

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:46 Caption #679

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:43 Caption #561

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:42 Caption #226

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:41 Caption #331

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:40 Caption #67

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:38 Caption #773

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:37 Caption #604

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:36 Caption #39

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:35 Caption #803

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:33 Caption #252

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:30 Caption #682

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:26 Caption #558

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:23 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:22 Caption #93

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:21 Caption #474

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:17 Caption #466

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:09 Caption #408

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:08 Caption #142

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:07 Caption #978

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:01 Caption #681

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:30:00 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:59 Caption #100

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:58 Caption #193

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:57 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:56 Caption #571

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:55 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:54 Caption #541

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:53 Caption #652

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:52 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:51 Caption #700

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:50 Caption #193

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:49 Caption #855

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:48 Caption #-25

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:46 Caption #272

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:45 Caption #117

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:43 Caption #319

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:42 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:41 Caption #28

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:40 Caption #97

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:39 Caption #558

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:38 Caption #47

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:37 Caption #623

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:36 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:35 Caption #46

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:34 Caption #273

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:33 Caption #64

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:27 Caption #23

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:26 Caption #181

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:25 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:24 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:22 Caption #99

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:10 Caption #387

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:06 Caption #407

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:04 Caption #670

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:03 Caption #9

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:02 Caption #73

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:01 Caption #45

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:29:00 Caption #87

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:59 Caption #74

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:58 Caption #751

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:56 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:55 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:54 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:53 Caption #652

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:52 Caption #628

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:51 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:50 Caption #73

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:46 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:45 Caption #-6

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:42 Caption #752

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:38 Caption #146

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:37 Caption #926

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:36 Caption #711

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:35 Caption #449

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:34 Caption #334

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:27 Caption #507

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:25 Caption #533

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:20 Caption #601

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:19 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:18 Caption #291

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:17 Caption #149

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:16 Caption #42

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:15 Caption #293

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:14 Caption #399

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:13 Caption #99

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:12 Caption #336

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:11 Caption #246

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:10 Caption #355

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:09 Caption #401

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:08 Caption #315

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:07 Caption #692

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:06 Caption #870

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:05 Caption #59

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:04 Caption #471

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:03 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:28:01 Caption #156

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:59 Caption #132

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:57 Caption #131

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:56 Caption #292

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:55 Caption #808

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:54 Caption #402

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:52 Caption #748

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:44 Caption #527

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:42 Caption #190

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:39 Caption #410

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:38 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:37 Caption #938

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:34 Caption #587

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:33 Caption #216

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:32 Caption #768

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:31 Caption #816

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:30 Caption #632

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:28 Caption #485

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:25 Caption #-21

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:24 Caption #172

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:23 Caption #935

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:22 Caption #423

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:19 Caption #89

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:15 Caption #77

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:13 Caption #287

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:11 Caption #636

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:09 Caption #485

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:06 Caption #14

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:02 Caption #822

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:27:01 Caption #120

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:55 Caption #34

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:54 Caption #90

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:51 Caption #854

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:50 Caption #243

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:48 Caption #730

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:47 Caption #25

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:46 Caption #734

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:26:45 Caption #358

Comments on Alternatives

[Add Comment]

There are 5 comments for this caption.

<Bavid Dyrden> Dear Penthouse:
I bought this pornographic magazine and was overcome with feelings of lust. As soon as I got home I locked myself in the bathroom for a frantic game of pocket pool. Has this happened to any other readers?
<3Suns> Pocket pool, in a locked bathroom? Dude, you are a prude. =P
<mypalmike> This really happenned to you, didn't it, Elvis?
<ElvisThePelvis> Shut UP!!! It did not!! Not exactly like that...
<Kumiho>

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:

Click the monkey to post