Most Emailed Photos

Most Emailed Photos - 04/10/2005

by ElvisThePelvis

<-- First

Choose an alternative caption: <

Last -->-->

Dear Penthouse, I know every letter begins with I couldn't believe it happened to me, but here is my story. I was at party and I ran into a hot brunette who asked if she could see my hairy beast. Well, it was sleeping, but I pulled it out anyway. She immediately dragged me into her car and we headed for her place.

On the way, she handed me what appeared to be a pair of panties and some fishnet nylons. I looked at her quizzically and she repeated "Put them on". I figured I had nothing to lose. She stopped the car and I got out and put on the two fishnet nylon stockings and one red pair of panties with what appeared to be three leg holes. I put on the underwear first and my hairy beast popped out of the center hole. I guess they were crotchless. The nylons I put on next. I have a lot of hair on my legs and they just looked stupid.

I felt like a total ass. I wasn't being humiliated so much as I had been disappointed. My little beast was still asleep and traffic was in chaos from my free show. In the car she ket saying I looked "so pretty". It did nothing for me but I kept my mouth shut.

Once we got to her house, she started to play with herself. I asked if she needed any help and she said "Oh no, we are keeping our hands to ourselves".

Eventually, She appeared to have enough of me and I certainly had enough of this. I gave her a peck on the cheek and left. She told me she would "never forget me".

I wanted to let Penthouse letters know that this woman is a total fruitcake and that any readers should just avoid her dumb sex game. Thanks in advance for publishing this warning.

Love, Elvis

(AP)

(Reuters)

Description

The challenge was to take the top 3 most emailed photos on yahoo and create a hopefully amusing story about the sequence. I reserve the right to refuse a disturbing picture, this includes any pictures of celine dion.

Please feel free to add alternative captions if you can or comments if you can't.

All rights to the photos belong to the companies in brackets beneath them. All text, concepts and layout is copyright Mort 2003-2007.

History

These 5 things happened most recently.

Mr. Noname Lurker 15:05:46 drooled over #54

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:23:46 drooled over #666

Mr. Noname Lurker 13:52:24 drooled over #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 08:51:51 drooled over #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 09:22:14 drooled over #555

Current Users

There have been 246 users in the last 10 minutes.

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:44:03 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:44:02 Caption #484

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:44:01 Caption #979

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:44:00 Caption #455

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:59 Caption #894

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:58 Caption #128

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:57 Caption #934

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:56 Caption #238

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:51 Caption #386

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:50 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:49 Caption #45

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:48 Caption #541

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:47 Caption #43

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:46 Caption #608

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:45 Caption #333

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:44 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:43 Caption #681

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:42 Caption #294

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:38 Caption #605

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:37 Caption #711

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:36 Caption #593

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:36 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:34 Caption #667

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:33 Caption #41

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:32 Caption #84

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:31 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:30 Caption #185

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:29 Caption #218

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:28 Caption #24

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:19 Caption #151

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:13 Caption #38

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:12 Caption #31

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:11 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:10 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:09 Caption #449

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:08 Caption #251

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:07 Caption #329

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:06 Caption #641

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:05 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:43:02 Caption #849

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:52 Caption #166

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:51 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:51 Caption #522

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:49 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:48 Caption #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:47 Caption #183

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:46 Caption #313

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:45 Caption #199

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:44 Caption #767

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:43 Caption #792

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:41 Caption #17

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:40 Caption #385

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:39 Caption #882

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:38 Caption #4

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:37 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:36 Caption #143

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:35 Caption #61

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:34 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:33 Caption #342

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:32 Caption #324

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:29 Caption #815

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:27 Caption #162

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:22 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:15 Caption #593

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:10 Caption #174

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:07 Caption #230

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:06 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:01 Caption #792

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:42:00 Caption #41

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:59 Caption #33

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:58 Caption #413

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:57 Caption #56

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:56 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:55 Caption #698

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:54 Caption #1

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:53 Caption #272

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:50 Caption #92

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:49 Caption #76

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:48 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:47 Caption #577

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:46 Caption #2

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:45 Caption #65

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:44 Caption #403

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:43 Caption #5

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:42 Caption #0

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:38 Caption #589

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:24 Caption #735

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:23 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:21 Caption #-41

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:20 Caption #674

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:18 Caption #312

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:17 Caption #381

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:16 Caption #712

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:10 Caption #848

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:09 Caption #470

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:08 Caption #69

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:07 Caption #649

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:05 Caption #171

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:41:00 Caption #214

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:59 Caption #354

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:58 Caption #743

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:56 Caption #89

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:53 Caption #49

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:47 Caption #844

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:45 Caption #43

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:42 Caption #483

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:39 Caption #382

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:31 Caption #221

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:27 Caption #338

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:26 Caption #582

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:25 Caption #-49

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:24 Caption #197

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:23 Caption #137

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:22 Caption #820

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:21 Caption #304

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:20 Caption #505

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:19 Caption #205

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:18 Caption #694

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:17 Caption #393

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:15 Caption #323

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:14 Caption #800

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:13 Caption #456

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:12 Caption #693

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:40:10 Caption #708

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:58 Caption #350

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:45 Caption #248

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:44 Caption #222

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:41 Caption #320

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:40 Caption #227

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:39 Caption #551

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:37 Caption #603

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:35 Caption #848

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:34 Caption #444

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:30 Caption #385

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:29 Caption #394

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:25 Caption #348

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:16 Caption #752

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:15 Caption #29

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:14 Caption #218

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:12 Caption #683

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:09 Caption #429

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:08 Caption #385

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:07 Caption #519

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:05 Caption #295

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:04 Caption #609

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:39:01 Caption #726

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:47 Caption #152

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:46 Caption #221

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:45 Caption #102

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:42 Caption #94

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:41 Caption #926

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:37 Caption #626

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:33 Caption #580

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:32 Caption #168

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:30 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:29 Caption #98

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:28 Caption #109

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:27 Caption #215

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:18 Caption #291

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:13 Caption #96

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:12 Caption #811

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:11 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:10 Caption #82

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:07 Caption #-72

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:06 Caption #750

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:38:05 Caption #583

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:50 Caption #644

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:49 Caption #8

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:44 Caption #307

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:43 Caption #607

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:36 Caption #316

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:35 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:34 Caption #858

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:33 Caption #584

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:32 Caption #235

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:26 Caption #506

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:25 Caption #510

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:24 Caption #15

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:21 Caption #454

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:20 Caption #365

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:14 Caption #158

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:12 Caption #763

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:11 Caption #555

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:10 Caption #395

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:37:06 Caption #386

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:58 Caption #305

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:56 Caption #865

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:52 Caption #484

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:46 Caption #862

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:44 Caption #838

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:42 Caption #673

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:41 Caption #144

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:40 Caption #583

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:39 Caption #378

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:38 Caption #470

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:37 Caption #662

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:27 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:23 Main Page

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:21 Caption #175

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:19 Caption #400

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:18 Caption #216

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:17 Caption #136

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:11 Caption #184

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:09 Caption #125

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:08 Caption #147

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:07 Caption #697

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:05 Caption #861

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:04 Caption #708

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:36:03 Caption #253

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:54 Caption #596

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:53 Caption #327

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:45 Caption #130

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:39 Caption #557

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:37 Caption #80

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:36 Caption #165

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:35 Caption #559

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:34 Caption #767

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:32 Caption #824

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:24 Caption #189

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:14 Caption #322

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:13 Caption #16

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:12 Caption #708

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:11 Caption #444

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:10 Caption #662

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:05 Caption #243

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:04 Caption #40

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:03 Caption #376

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:02 Caption #96

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:35:01 Caption #121

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:58 Caption #908

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:54 Caption #685

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:51 Caption #234

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:48 Caption #422

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:44 Caption #310

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:43 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:42 Caption #3

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:40 Caption #365

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:38 Caption #778

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:37 Caption #31

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:26 Caption #554

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:24 Caption #485

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:22 Caption #217

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:19 Caption #11

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:12 Caption #498

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:08 Caption #647

Mr. Noname Lurker 00:34:07 Main Page

Comments on Alternatives

[Add Comment]

There are 5 comments for this caption.

<Bavid Dyrden> Dear Penthouse:
I bought this pornographic magazine and was overcome with feelings of lust. As soon as I got home I locked myself in the bathroom for a frantic game of pocket pool. Has this happened to any other readers?
<3Suns> Pocket pool, in a locked bathroom? Dude, you are a prude. =P
<mypalmike> This really happenned to you, didn't it, Elvis?
<ElvisThePelvis> Shut UP!!! It did not!! Not exactly like that...
<Kumiho>

Add a comment about this alternative caption:
Name:
Vote: What this means
Comment:

Click the monkey to post